Was it wise to let him join us? HELL NO!
by YaoiRules92
Summary: Naru and the old pervert are one year in the training trip. When Naru is all alone in the forest training he is kidnapped by Akatsuki. Jiraiay can't help because he is doing his 'research'. Contains Yaoi ItaNaru, SasoDei, and other pairings. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

KM: Ah ha! You two will have some fun in this story well better said Naru-chan

Ita: .... I don't want to know

Naru: Has it something to to do with S.....

KM: _slaps hand for Naru's mouth _Yes and now be quiet! Weasel do the disclaimer!

Ita: Wish you would die

KM: Dito

Ita: _sigh _KM does NOT own Naruto and that is better so since we all know what would have happened

KM: BUT my youthfull friend I OWN this youthfull story

_**Chapter 1**_

"talking"

`_thinking_´

**Kyuubi talking**

_**Kyuubi thinking**_

Summary: It's one year in the training trip from our beloved Naru-chan with Ero-sennin. Naru is alone in the wild to train on a new jutsu while the Akatsuki come and kidnap him. Meanwhile is Jiraiya at the onsen to do his oh so lovely `research´ and he ,too, is attacked though he can't help his student. But what will Tsunade say when she hears about this? And what about the Akatsuki will they will survive this? And Gaara? How will he take it that his beloved Otouto went missing? Konoha will it survive it when the allies know what happened to Naru-chan? Will they cancel the alliance? And what's with Fruity-chan? And why am I asking you all this question? Damn a next one!?

It was a norma day. The birds chirped, sun shone and no cloud on the sky to show that it would rain. In the forest near the river stood a lone figure who did some strange seals with his hands. There is no doubt that this person is a ninja. He as blonde hair that's spiky and wild. You would guess that no comb or brush could tame it. He is blue eyes as clear as the sky and six whiskers marks. Three on each cheek. His Hite-ite(sp?) he wore on his left biceps. He wears black baggy pants but not to baggy to hinder his movements. On his left tight is his kunai pouch and he wears a crimson shirt. On his right arm he has a tattoo. It looks like a fox and wolf who fight. The fox has night tails and the wolf six (KM: That's my FF when you don't like it that way then leave. And I will not make Naruto super smart or strong. That's too cliché). The fox has red eys and the wolf blue.

"GOD DAMN IT WHY?!WHEN GET ERO-SENNIN IN MY HANDS I WILL CHOP OFF HIS BALLS AND(SENSOR) (SENSOR) (SENSOR) AND THEN I WILL (SENSOR) (SENSOR)" yelled the blonde youth who it seemed to have a great grudge against someone -coughjiraiyachough- that he wished for his death or want to torture him that bad.

**I am sooo proud of you Kit **-here Kyuubi wipes away anime tears- **You truly have learned under me**

`_Well it's no wonder you are the one who trains me after all. And no the mother fucker of a bastard does NOT count. He always goes off and let me alone though he can do his 'research'. He only gave me the scrolls and didn't show me the jutsus you are the one fox!_´ the Kit said.

**Naruto don't you think I know that. I don't understand how the old hag can trust him. I mean he let ALMOST die 109 times since we are on this training trip **the great beast sighed at this. It clearly remembered the days as if they happened only hours ago and not days or weeks. It was true Jiraiya really didn't do any thing. He only gives Naruto scrolls to train and then leaves. Naruto had come to him in the first week after he finished the first scroll. It had held Genjutsu. Well he really wasn't a genius in it but nonetheless he had understood it.

He remembered the day when the brat had come to him. It was rather amusing for him to the least. He really hadn't thought that the brat would have this much guts back then. When he remembered the days when trembled because of him in fear. Well anyways it was a day quite like this when he remembered correctly.

**FLASHBACK **(KM: _**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**_)

Naruto and Jiraiya had stopped at near town to Konoha though the old pervy sage could do his `research´. Yeah right... anyways he gave Naruto a scroll about Genjutsu with the reason that he is bad at that field from Jutsu. Well it's true a baby would be better in Genjutsu then Naruto. But what truly disappointed him was that Jiraiya just left him alone in the forest by the out squirt. He didn't give any advise what to do to improve his skills or what he did do false whatsoever. He let out a sigh as Jiraiya was quite a distance away and then began to read this damn scroll. It was nothing new to him. It was pretty much the same they taught at the Academy. The only new thing was that there was a list from Genjutsus he could teach himself on his own. Like he did when he was younger or the time when he did learn Rasengan without the help from that old senile Sensei of his.

Well Kakashi was better than Ero-sennin in fact and Kakashi hardly taught him any thing. So here he was somewhere deep in the woods far away from the town where no doubt about that let get himself drunk out of his mind with HIS money... again. He sighed and sat on a rock that and began to read that damn scroll. What he surely doubted would help him in his Genjutsu problem. He knew quite well that he is an idiot in that subject but that didn't hinder him to become a ninja. It was a week or sou later that he was getting bored and tried something he thought he would never do in his life. NEVER.

He sat himself in the middle if the clearing. He shifted for a short time till he was comfortable and shut his eyes. He began to breath deep in and out. He let himself carry away while he meditate. That was really something that he would never do. He did not have the temper to do this. He was too full of energy and had bounce off. That was his problem in the academy too but didn't let break him down one moment. It was an hour or though when he found himself on the opposite side from the cage where the Kyuubi No Kitsuen was imprison.

"Well didn't accept to land here" he said and shrugged with the shoulders. Then a thought struck him. The damn fur ball was too quiet for his licking though he went in front of the cage and sure enough there he laid. The almighty Kyuubi No Kitsune lay there snoring with a bubble from his nose. He had to suppress a laughter but it didn't work out and he burst out laughing when the Kitsune began to run his sleep. The laughter echoed off of the halls in the sweyer and the Kitsune awoke with a start.

**WTF?! **the face of the Kitsune was priceless as Naruto looked at him and broke down again. Kyuuby was getting. _**How dare he?! That little brat don't shown any fear in front of me?! He should be scared shitless by now **_and with a booming voice he asked the brat.** What is so funny brat?**

"Yo-yo-you-hahahah-your f-f-f-fac-fa-hahahface w-w-w-wh-when y-yo-yo-hahahyou hahahah hah-ha-h-had hahaha s-s-s-slept!" he gasped out and then broke down again when he saw the confused look in the face of the Kyuubi. After some time he had calmed down. _**Finally **_was Kyuubis' thought at this. "Ok I'm calm" he took a deep breath and stared at the over grown Kitsune in front of him. He tried it he really did but it was to no avail he just HAD TO laugh. He could probably never in his entire life look in his face ever again with the same he had done before over so often.

Kyuubi grew impatient and began to growl at Naruto for his behavior. I mean come on who would laugh direct in front of the face from king of the Bjous? Nobody well except Naruto that is. His growl grew louder with each passing seconds. Well too bad for him that Naruto could not hear him thanks to his laughter and the echo in the sweyer. After what felt like hours to Kyuubi -what in reality were just a few minutes- Naruto had calmed down.

**SO?**

"What so?" asked a dense Naruto with a question mark over his head. AH the wonder of your mind. Where everything comes reality when you there.

**What do you want brat? I don't have all day long for you! And look into my eyes when you are taslking to me!?** he demanded. But to no avail Naruto ignored and began to shift nervously on his place in front of the fluff ball.

"ehe we--we-well you see I had NOO idea I would land here when I meditate. Anyways when I'm already here why not do the best out of it? And since when do you have not all day long for me? I mean you are in my mind. You can't do any thing besides sulking in here" Kyuubi blinked once, twice and a third time. His vessel did have guts. First he's laughing HIM directly in the face and now wants something from him. That could be getting interesting when he plays his cards right.

**What do you want baka?** you could here in his voice that he was getting pissed. He really has some important things to do in here though hr don't know what exactly. Well he will think of some thing when the brat has left.

"well you could train and I KNOW you have NOTHING to do in here though why not train me then? And no you can't get out of this! Or do you really wan a weak vessel?" Damn he had him there. Kyuubi sighed that gaki is a nuisance. But he won't give him a break till he says yes. He loose though or though. In short Naruto has him on the balls. But the brat is right. He really don't want a weak a vessel though he has to train him. He already knew that that old fart of a Sannin will do nothing besides going on his `research´. **Might as well do it **he thought he has nothing to do but looking through his vessels eyes and that could getting kind of boring. But he wasn't sure with this. I mean we are talking here about Naruto when is something boring when he does it?

**You won brat I will train but you have to do everything I tell you. Or that was it got it? **he waited for a replay or a protest like he knew his vessel or the brat how he likes to call him that. He knew that he was doomed with Naruto as student but it was better then nothing right? Oh wrooong he will sure as hell learn that he should have said no.

"Yeah fluff ball!" Kyuubis' eyebrow twiched. That little brat when I wasn't in this bloody cage I would have already riped his throat out!Poor fluff ball. And that damn author too He too bad you can't and when you do it I will let wear you a pink a tutu and sing Mary had a little lamb. Kyuubi twitched more but that didn't interest the author.

**FLASHBACK END** (KM: FFFIIIIIIINNNNNAAALLLLLYYYY YAY)

Since it was training training and training. Kyuubi was sure as hell a slave driver. He let not one minute Naruto rest. He always had to train wherever, whenever and whatever he wanted. Hell he ,too, had to train in his dreams with the sadistic bastard. Thanks to the sadistic bastard how Naruto liked to call him now he was much better in Genjutsu. Well not as good as Itachi or Kurenai but it was good enough to help him his fights. He could dispose them easily now. And his Taijutsu was like that from Maito Gai when not better. But that wasn't a great surprise for the Kitsune when he taught him. Naruto had talent for this but in Ninjutsu was he better then in his other skills.

He was even better than he himself and that means something. Kyuubi had begun to teach Naruto Kenjtutsu but that was miracle to him. Naruto was good that he admit but he hadn't thought that he would like in Ninjutsu invention new styles like he does it with new jutsus. He sure was a jutsu crack. But he had shown it in the first week that he was eager to learn. And now here we are with that Naruto. The tattoo on Naruto is for his summons. He can summon foxes and wolves. The foxes is clear where he get it and the wolves he had get when he rescued one. It was rather funny after wards with that. And the old pervert has not one time asked what it meant.

And thanks to the fur ball too he can some jutsus without hand seals but that took at first a lot of chakra and concentration. He had begun to learn it three weeks ago and can do two jutsu without them. Sometimes Naruto what he had done deserve this punishment. He really was glad that he now had the fur ball that kept him company **OHHH love you too Naru-chan** Naruto rolled his eyes at that. Well he was better then the villagers and their stupidly. He sighed and thought how to get the old pervy sage back for this. He had learned more from the fox then Jiraiya could teach him inhis entire life and that means some thing.

But he ad all the time not noticed that he was being watched. And that from none other then the Akatsuki. Well Deidara to be exact. He didn't notice it until it was too late and Deidara had knocked him out with several clay birds. The only thought he had was `_WTF?!_´and then he blacked out. Well and it was easy too thanks to a certain fur ball that he was exhausted and hadn't any strength left to fight back.

Meanwhile was Jiraiya attacked by Hoshikage Kisame who had ambushed when he did his 'research'. Because of his cry of surprised noticed him the woman at the bathhouse and came to beat the bloody crap out of him. Kisame had a blank look and let the women do his work for him. Hey when he get this kind of help why not take it? Besides it helps him to save energy for the later part of his mission. Kisame had a smug grin his face. Who would have thought that a few mere females could beat the legendary Sannin, the toad sage and self named super pervert Jiraiya to a bloody pulp.

KM: Well here you go with the first chapter to my new Yaoi story

Ita: .... Why was I not mentioned?

KM: Because it is NOT the time! Anyways please R&R and have a good evening or whatever time it is


	2. Chapter 2

KM: Yahooo second one

Naru: Why do I get the feeling I will not like this. And that you ARE the devil in person?

KM: _looks innocent_ don't know what you are talking about

Naru: You are

KM: Are not

Naru: Are too

_hours later_

KM: Are NOT

Naru: Are TOO

Ita: .... that is stupid from both of you

Naru SHUT UP AND KYUUBI DO THE DISCLAIMER

Kyuu: Why do I get the feeling that I will never be free again

Ita: _pats Kyuubi _You are not alone

Naru&KM: _still fighting_

Kyuu: EH yeah right. Anyways KM does NOT own Naruto. THANK KAMI-SAMA

KM: But my youthfull friends I own this story

_**Chapter 2**_

Akatsuki Base

Pein was waiting in his destroyed office of Deidara and Kisame. Why is his office destroyed? Well Pein is a really, really, really, really, REALLY patience man but when it comes to Deidara he looses his patience and temper. Then he has to destroy things to get his frustration out. And well his office was near in that moment. Besides Deidara and Kisame had two days to get him and they are gone since _**FOUR FUCKING WEEKS**_!? He knew it. Why didn't he heard of his inner voice that had said that he had should send Itachi and Hidan. Then he wouldn't have to wait for the stupid clay player and the over grown fish! He didn't understand why he let a fish join them maybe he was drunk when he had said yes? Who knows. Anyways and the other he can't ask because they are on vacation.

That was new to when did they have vacations? Well but he was alone and nobody was getting on his nerves. The ones who had asked for it were Kakuzu, that had surprised him. I mean we all know that he hates it to spend his money. SO why did he want a vacation? But Pein had shrugged his shoulders it was not his problem. Zetsu, Sasori, Konan and Madara a.k.a. Tobi although he is the real leader. So he can give himself any time a vacation can't he?

Pein was in the living-room because of boredom and had begun to play poker with his other bodies. He was winning and hoped that any minute someone would come and rescue him before he's dying of boredom. He was in the tenth round of the game when the door to the living-room flew open and Deidara came in with Naruto threw over his shoulder like potato sack. He was out cold but seems fine aside from that.

"Bring him the room for him" said Pein without looking up from his hand. Deidara nodded till he noticed that Pein couldn't see him said "Yes un" and left with that. Deidara walked a hall along that had black walls and many doors on the sides. Each door led to another room which belonged from one member of the Akatsuki. Deidara opened a door on his right which was the eleventh one. On the other side was his room and next to the room of the now second blonde was Tobis' room. Oh how Deidara hate this little brat. With a sigh he opened the door and went through it. He threw the blonde on the bed and left the room. He was sure that the blonde wouldn't wake up for the next few hours.

Meanwhile had the blonde a 'little' talk with the Kyuubi

In Naruto's mind scape

A very angry blonde stood in front of a very frightened Kyuubi. Hell Kyuubi had never seen Naruto this angry although when the villagers had destroyed his home. He gulped and knew that something horrible will happen. He knew shouldn't had said yes to Naruto a year ago. But now it was too late. The blonde had begun to act like the Kyuubi. Well Kyuubi liked it but only when he doesn't do something to him that is. The old pervert had to suffer since Naruto had picked up domething from Kyuubi's behavior.

"Well Kitsune what do you have to say to your defense?" asked Naruto with raised eyebrow. Naruto had said this so calm and quiet that Kyuubi barely heard it. Now the beats knew he was in deep shit. Naruto only talked like that when he was really pissed and Kyuubi had seen what happened then to his victims. He began to sweat and looked for an escape plan but couldn't find one and the look Naruto gave him send chills down his spine. He knew he is doomed but maybe he can save some time till he found a way to escape Naruto's wrath.

**Kit I didn't sense them really** he prayed to Kami that he would let him get away with that lame excuse. But unfortunately for him that wasn't the case. It only earned him a death glare from Naruto of that every Uchiha would be proud of.

"Kyuubi I know you are lying to me sooo I have to punish you" he smirks evilly as he thought of that what let Kyuubi cower and whimper in fear. Well and let him have nightmares for quite a bit.

Kyuubi cringed. He knew now that he will not mostly like what Naruto had planned. And he was right. He has now images from a naked Jiraiya in his head and Sarutobi in a thong. Naruto laughed at the face Kyuubi.

**NOOOOO my brain! Naruto!? Argh my eyes my eyes my wonderful virgin eyes!** at that Naruto snorted. `_Yeah right he and virgin eyes my ass_´ Naruto thought while he laughed because of the picture in front of him. Kyuubi had pressed himself down on the floor as good as he can and tried to hide from the mental images of that-that inhuman things. He was Kyuubi No Kitsune the King of bijous. He was the most powerful being in Makai and Ningenkai. Everyone cower on front if him in fear. But that Naruto was an exception. He was the one who let him from the two of them cower in fear. Kyuubi whimpered and Naruto snickered before he vanished and was back in the real world.

Real World

Deidara was back in the living-room and watched Pein beat himself in poker. It was funny to look at it. Because every time the real Pein lost he got angry and shouted curses in the world. Man and here you thought the leader of Akatsuki had the brain to get that he IS beating himself. That means he ISN'T loosing any money. Deidara sighed and looked at the clock that hung above the door. It was now 5:46 pm. Though it was several hours now that the Kyuubi vessel is here and Deidara was getting restless. He need someone to talk to but no Pein and his bodies just play poker and Kisame wasn't back now. And with Hidan he would sure as hell is hot never in his life talking to. He's always talking about his fuck of Jashin.

`_HELL NO_´ thought Deidara. He would do that when that was the last chance he can talk to someone or when when the two were the last humans in the world or maybe not. He gladly go insane then to talk that bitch. And Itachi wasn't a better choice either because that Uchiha is so unsocial. There is rock a better partner to talk to. And that is the truth. Why did he have to use so much clay to knock the blonde out? When he hadn't used so much he would have someone to talk to but NOO. He sighed again and looked to the door as it was opened.

In Naruto's room

He woke up after the encounter with Kyuubi who was still crying and hugging himself with all his mighty. Naruto shrugged his shoulders and looked at the room he was in. He lies/sits on a bed with silk sheets an crimson and has navy blue pillows. Right in front of the bed was a door what he assumed lead to the bathroom. Why he knew? Because it's open duh. Anyways next to the bed is a nightstand. On the left side of the room is big window and in front of it with a few feet distance there stood a table with chairs. On the right side of the bed there stood a desk. He now saw that next to the bathroom door was a second door.

As serious as he is a stood up and went to investigate the door. As he opened the he saw that it is a closet with clothes in his size. They all had the colors he likes. They were blue, black, crimson and navy blue. he left it and now saw that his room was in the same colors. The walls are crimson and black and the doors are nay blue. The curtains are a light blue. Well wherever he is. he sure as hell likes it here. He went over to the third that was a few away from the desk and opened it. It lead to a hall that was painted black. He went to the right because the on the left was a dead end. He saw on his ways many doors and a few other ways. So he decide to investigate the place first. In a few moments he new where everything was; the kitchen, dinner-room, a meeting room etc. etc. He found himself again in the hall he came from. He now took an other turn and found himself in front of a door and without thinking he opened it.

Now here we are. Naruto had opened the door and stood in the living-room. The first thing he saw was Deidara sitting on the couch who starred at him. Then he looked around and found that there was a big table with twelve chairs and six of them were occupied. There were sitting six guys with orange hair and had many piercing in their faces with a shrugged he continued to look around and found a T.V. and a second couch.

"Ah I see you are awake" said one of the guys from the table. Naruto jumped a little when he heard the man talking and turned around. He saw that the one with short spiky hair spoke to him and looked now at him.

"UHu yeah" he said "SSOOO what do you want?" he looked confused and Naruto had the urged to bang his head against a wall but suppress it. He instead rolled his eyes and began to explain. "I mean you didn't kidnap me to have lunch with me right? Though why don't tell me already"

"Well you see we want you to join us. And no that is no trick" Naruto shut his mouth as he was about to interrupt him but he opened it again to ask "So you didn't tell me why" Naruto was getting annoyed and an annoyed Naruto is not good.

"Well we cannot extract the Kyuubi and want you to join instead" Pein said simple straight to the point. He didn't have the patience now to explain it. "So what's your answer?" he asked him. Deidara sat there silent as a mouth and too waited for the answer. He had listened and wanted to see the reaction of the Kyuubi vessel.

"Yeah why not" Naruto said shrugging and sat himself on the table opposite from Pein. He blinked at first and didn't thought it would be that easy. I mean Naruto is known for his fighting against everything he hates and don't to give up. But here he is and didn't do anything. This can't be good. But what Naruto don't know is that it was Madara's request who wants him to join. Why ask him. They were broken from their musings when Naruto asked them "SO when are two telling me who you are I mean you two already know my name like the rest here right? But I don't know yours"

"Eh yeah name's Deidara un!" said Deidara after a few seconds and waved to Naruto who nodded to him as greeting. "I am Pein. And the leader of Akatsuki" said the guy who has talked to him the first time "And what you see here are my other bodies. I use them when I fight"

"but now you are using them to play poker?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow. Pein shrugged to this and asked if he wanted to join him in the game. Naruto shrugged to this and agreed. Deidara was sitting on the couch and began to dose off. Hey he has nothing to do and his clay can't help him here too. Poor Dei-chan. It was in third round with Naruto and Pein has lost every round of it when Kisame came in. He had send back Jiraiya to Konoha with a note that stated that they wouldn't see Naruto ever again.

"Hey Sushi-chan" greeted Naruto as Kisame entered who had prompt a vein appeared on his forehead and a twitching eye as he heard that.

"Brat! Treat your elders with respect" Kisame nearly shouted at him. Naruto only smirked at this.

"Why?" Naruto asked but before Kisame could answer that Naruto continued "I mean come on you ARE a walking FISH who can speak and is UGLY and BLUE. What is there to respect?" Deidara was rolling on the floor laughing and Pein chuckled at that. It was funny to see Kisame squirm like that. Kisame was bleach not one spot color was there.

"That was a good one" said Deidara between his laughter and gasping for air. Pein smirked and nodded to that. All the time he didn't took his eyes off of the cards. But it was to no avail he lost... again. "Hey fish stick wanna join us?" yelled Naruto to the corner where Kisame now was hugging himself, crying and sulking. So much like Kyuubi when Naruto had insulted him. Deidara broke down ... again. Naruto was just so good at making Kisame suffer. He knew that from now on it would never be the same again in Akatsuki. With a last big sniff Kisame stood up and joined them in the game.

It was passed midnight now and Kisame, Pein and Naruto play a round poker yet again. They really need a hobby. Deidara laid on the couch and let his feed dangle. He played with his hands and began to count plants the room. Well when there were any. He began to dose off when the door swing open and the bitch names Hidan entered and went straight for the table to join the poker round. Deidara blinked that was a surprise. No swearing, no yelling and at all no JASHIN. WTF?! What happened to Hidan that he lost his interest in swearing, yelling and Jashin? But it seemed that it wasn't for great importance for Kisame and Pein.

Itachi came in after Hidan entered and went straight for the couch. "What is going?" he asked in his emotionless voice. He didn't look at Deidara his eyes were on the figures at the table that played poker.

"They play poker un. And Naruto is kicking their asses un." and as an after thought he added "Oh and you missed how Kisame was in a corner and hugging, crying and sulking. It was funny to see. That kid let him suffer un!" Itachi nodded to this. He left the room after this. He ,too, thought that it wouldn't be THAT easy that Naruto would join them. Oh well it always give for everything a first time. The night was after that uneventful. Maybe not because you could hear here and then a few curses from Kisame, Pein and Hidan when they lost. And that was every time though Deidara and Itachi didn't get any sleep. They could only hope that it would get better when the others are back.

KM: Whoa that was a good one!

Kyuubi: .... You let me suffer

KM: AAAANNNDD????

Naru: Please R&R then you get cookies


	3. Chapter 3

KM: I am on the road yeah _dance like there's no tomorrow and hears the song to that_

Ita: W-wha-what's with her?

Naru: _shrugs shoulders_ she's like that since yesterday

Kyuu: _hides chocolate_ Wonder why?

Naru: riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight Kyuubi. Anyways KM does not own Naruto but she wished she does then there would be ItaNaru with no end

KM: YAY _bounces from the walls _But my youthful friends I own this youthful story!

_**Chapter 3**_

It was a week later when the rest of the Akatsuki came back and was greeted with a poker playing Naruto, Hidan, Pein, Kisame and Deidara. Deidara had began it to play with them when he doesn't find any thing to do. When he did find some thing you had to do it with a partner. After had happened they really need to know that. "What happened here" asked a freak with a mask. He was counting money and hadn't look on the table it seems. When he had then he would have seen the mountain of money there. As replay he got "Bloody murder!? Naruto you fucking son of a bitch?! That was bloody cheating!" yelled Hidan

"NO it wasn't" came the calm replay from Naruto. Deidare had to put his two cents also "Yeah Hidan. Now shut up and play un" Well I don't think that this is a good replay. Anyways their faces were blank when they heard this. Sasori went over to the table and saw a grinning Naruto sitting there with a big mountain of money behind him. `_Kakuzu would kill for so much money_´ he thought. He sat on the other table end far away from them to see the massacre when Kakuzu sees the money. That would be sure as hell a funny sight to see.

They looked all at the door when Itachi entered. He ignored them and said to the five on the table "Don't tell me you played the week through since he joined us" that was greeted with short nods of their heads. He shook his head and sat himself on the couch "You four need help. You all know that you can't beat him in poker whatsoever" he said blankly and turned on the T.V. while he watched. The others tried to get their thought together. Which not succeed. They were brain dead. They came back to reality when a loud shout came from Kisame which clearly said that he was bankrupt.

"Right" said Konan and stormed over to Pein to get his head out of the gut. "And what do you think you are doing" asked a pissed Konan. Pein gulped and it didn't help him either that she had grasped his ear and pulled on it to show what she thought about that.

"eh aehnm playing poker?" he asked with short shrug of his shoulders. That earned him a harder pull on his ear and he had tears in his eyes. "OW Konan I need this ear you know" but that too earned him harder pull. "Ok OK I stop are you happy now?" he asked as he threw his cards on the table. Konan nodded in approval and let go of his ear. It was scary how Konan could get her point through . They shuddered at that. They were happy that she wasn't their girlfriend Pein has their sorry for that and respect. And that is why Sasori, Deidara and Itachi are gay. They don't trust people who bleed seven days a month without dying. There must be something that isn't right.

Anyways Kakuzu had by now had seen the mountain of money and dove for it but he didn't reach it. "Do it scar face and die" said Naruto in a deadly voice that let Madara let almost shit himself. Key word almost.

"You tried to touch Naruto's money don't you?" said Itachi without looking away from the T.V. and chuckled "Kisame almost died when he tried it" Kakuzu backed away from Naruto when he saw the look he gave him and gulped. `_What the hell?!_´ thought Sasori as he saw a crying Deidara sitting in his lap. Well Ok not that he complained about it hell NO. He was rather happy with this turn of events. I mean it doesn't happened often to him that his object of desire jumps into his lap. So why not do the best out of it? Ever so slowly made his hand his way down to the bottom of Deidara who obviously didn't notice it. How can he be that dense? I mean come on everybody I know would have notice it.

One minute he was crying in the next he squeaked like there is no tomorrow and jumped far VERY FAR away from Sasori who chuckled at his behavior. Deidara glared at him and didn't notice the stares they got till someone cleared his throat. And that some one was Hidan who gave the look that said `We-are-trying-here-to-play-duh´. He only said to this "WHAT?! I didn't do any thing" he pointed to Sasori "He IS the one who thought it would be funny to grope me!?" he yelled. Konan gave him a funny look that clearly said `and we should believe you that why?´. Deidara hung his head low. Nobody believed him and made his way to the corner where Kisame had cried a week ago.

Naruto tried to hold his laughter in and succeed. That was the first time he actually succeed. Well the other times the victims ehr ehm äehm I mean not so lucky people were well not so fortunately in this position. Why because Naruto took photos of them and sold them after that he had pranked them till they had to go to the funny farm. His victims have you never seen again. But well that is an other story. But now with Deidara he could do much better and with that he had an evil smirked in his face. Luckily for him nobody noticed it.

**What are going to do kit?** asked Kyuubi who had seen the smirk and a shudder went down his spine as he saw it. That means only one thing. Whatever he had planned it will be funny and the worse thing that could happen to his victim. He was sorry for the poor human that will have to deal with Naruto.

_`Nothing really_´ he said to the fox. Kyuubi didn't believe him. That were as though you would say that Kyuubi is a nice, cute kitty that likes to cuddle. Well that would be some thing. Anyways Naruto made his way to the corner where Deidara is and began to pat his back. The others looked at him with a stern look. He shrugged only with his shoulders and then said to Deidara in a voice full with pity "There, there Dei-chan. Everything will be OK. The bad man will not be able to touch again" he nearly choked on his laughter that tried to escape. Kisame was rolling on the floor with laughter along with Tobi. Hey he didn't acted like he was Tobi for a long time he had to do it before they suspect something.

Sasori had twitched at the bad man comment and tried not to kill the Kyuubi vessel. Well it worked but not as good as he thought it would. Because behind him were his puppets and they were all battle ready. One wrong twitch with his fingers and Naruto would be dead. But it suits him he IS a bad man isn't he? I mean when he isn't why did he join then Akatsuki? Well that is question that will never be answered and when yes it's one mystery fewer from the universe. Anyways Konan had her hand in front of her mouth to hide her grin at the scene in front of her. It gave her the rest when she heard the next words from Naruto and the rest of Akatsuki did double take when they heard it.

"You know Dei-chan you shouldn't be sitting here in the corner like some one had stolen your cookie. I mean you are grown woman right -Kisame had problems to breath when he heard that and Tobi wasn't doing any better either- it shouldn't get you that down. I mean since when get some thing you down that easily?" he asked while rubbing Deidara's back. Itachi had watched this silent from the sideline and was seething with rage. Who the hell does Deidara think he is to cry that _**HIS**_ Naruto touched him Wohoo stop right there. Hold the trains. Stop the world eh stop better everything in this damn world. Since when was Naruto his?

Possessive aren't we Uchiha? `_Shut it KM I don't need to hear your two cents too_´ Oh well then Naru-chan can have some else other than you as seme ne? _`You wouldn't dare_´ Try me `_You won_´ Good then back to the story. Now that we know that the Uchiha is a possessive bastard let us continue. While I try to ignore him. Anyways after that statement Deidara left as fast as possible the room. Naruto only shrugged and went back to the table to collect his money. He had to create e few shadow clones to transport the money to his room. Tobi had meanwhile calmed down Pein give a sign to tell him as soon as possible about what had happened to them when he was on vacation with the others. Pein only nodded and was glad to leave his girlfriend behind.

As the two had had left Kisame said that was in the mind of most of them. "Soo why exactly did you do it?" Naruto only shrugged with his shoulders and replayed "Well he soooo screamed for it. I mean come on I AM a prankster and as a prankster it IS my job do let most likely you suffer. Besides he IS a girl or not?" he asked with an innocent look. `_Innocent my ass_´ thought Konan as she saw the look on him. But she had to give him that. He could do the look perfect without presumption rising. He is a hell of an actor maybe when shinbo is nothing more for him he should do this. Kyuubi always tells him to do it then they would be rich.

**Where the hell did you get that look?** asked the over sized fur ball his host when he saw the look Naruto gave the others. `_Which one? I mean I have many of them do I not?_´ Oh how the Kyuubi hated Naruto for doing this to him. He always twisted his words in his own way though he IS the dumb one. He knew she shouldn't have accepted the offer the year ago. He has taught to good in his way. The great beast let out sigh. **Never mind brat.**

Naruto shrugged his shoulder and couldn't help to let a escape a snicker when he imagined the Kyuubi No Kitsune to sulk back in his cage. Zetus gave him a weird a look. "What?" Naruto asked him as he came back to reality after the short talk with Kyuubi. But he doesn't know that the Kyuubi had now a plan to get revenge. Oh wonderful sweet revenge. I mean who doesn't love it? It is the best thing that can happen to you when you are the one who does it.

**Hey kit!** He was ignored **Kit?** again was he ignored. Kyuubi let out a frustrated sigh. Why does the brat ignore him now?! Why now?! God damn it! The brat doesn't ignore him when he doesn't need to for example when they fight then they talk about everything but when it's something like this then he is ignored. **Kit **nothing **Kit **nothing. Oh how he hated the brat **KIT?!** he yelled as loud as he could. well and that wasn't good because Naruto cried out loud and that had earned him several stares.

"What is with you?" asked Konan. Meanwhile Kyuubi was on the floor of his cage thanks to the echo because of his yelling in the sewer. Well that was the only thing that made Naruto happy. "huh? Did you say something?" asked Naruto Konan.

"Well yeah. What is with you?"

"Wait a moment and then asked again" said Naruto as he poked in his ears to get the ringing in ears away. Well it kinda work but not as good as he hoped. It was ringing but not as loud as before but still ringing that it was getting `n his nerves. He let out a frustrated sigh. He held a hand out when he saw that Konan tried again to ask what was wrong. "Hold on a minute. It should be better then" Konan only shrugged and waited.

Meanwhile the others asked themselves what is wrong with them. Zetsu was fighting with his other half and well no one of them was winning. Kyuubi had headache because he was the idiot that actually yelled in Naruto's head though they both have now present from this. But Kyuubi's is much worse than Naruto's. Hey he is in the head or navel or whatever the hell he is in. He heard the yelled in an echo and it is still there. (KM: _points finger to Kyuubi_ Ha ha) Well any ways n that wasn't what the others were interest in **HEY?!** face it fur ball nobody likes you and don't you dare to go all emo on me.

"Well?" asked a confused Konan Naruto after she was sure that one minute was over.

"well what?" asked the oh so clever Naruto who was again a dense dope. Man he needs brain cells it is a miracle that he hasn't died on the mission the old hag had send him.

"Why did you cried out that loud a moment ago?" Sasori said after it was getting too stupid for him about Naruto and his brainlessness (KM: Is that even a word?). Naruto thought a moment till he knew what he was talking about. Literally a light bubble was then over his head.

"Oh yeah that" he said and was then mute. The others gave him a look that said `And?´. "What? Don't tell me you want to know why" well to that they only nodded and Naruot shook his head. _`Might as well_´ he thought and took a deep breath. "The old fur ball thought it would be funny to yell in my head. But he doesn't thought about the consequence for him too. Now he has a headache because of the echo in his 'room'" he told them.

They gave him a look that clearly said are you nuts. He answered to that "No but trained under the Kyuubi No Kitsune and well he has rubbed ofu on me. What can I say to this? He is a good role model that is" he walked away as the confusion was getting bigger and you could read it from their faces. Out of ear shoot he snickered and made his way to the kitchen. **I taught you well Kit**

`_What you are still alive?_´ asked Naruto the now I think back to normal fluff ball.

**Yes brat. And pay your elders more respect!** demanded the old fluff ball.

`_Why should I? You were the one who taught me the whole year. Did you really thought that you wouldn't rub off on me?_´ Naruto saw a mental image of the Kyuubi in his cage doing a victory dance `_Why are you dancing?_´

**Brat! That is none of your business! I can do what ever the hell I want to do in here!**

`_Oh no you can't! That is my body in where you do you stupid things and don't tell me that is the real reason what is not! I want the real one. Besides I can let you suffer in here. Or must I remind of the last time?_´ asked Naruto slyly. Hell he loved it that he could do THAT to Kyuubi and the kitsune could do nothing about it.

**Damn you kit **`_And choose one name to call me fluff butt_´ Naruto snickered at that when the so called fluff butt sulked at the nickname he had picked to call him with sooooo much love. It was a shame that Kyuubi the name not liked. I mean Naruto loved the name ad Kyuubi hated it. It is no wonder that Naruto liked the name. I do too. `_Hello?_´ nothing `_Heeeelllllllllllllooooooooooooo fluff butt?_´ he sing song but still nothing. `_Geez don't tell me he is mad at me. I mean I am a loveable and adorabel little ninja. Every body likes me_´ but Kyuubi still said nothing although most of the things Naruto said were lies. OK all were lies but still. Why did the overgrown kitty didn't said anything? There must be some thing Naruto had said or the kitty just ignored for the fluff butt comment.

Oh well it isn't like Naruto would mind hell no. It was the best that could happen to me right now. With a loud sigh he flopped down in his bed and let sleep over take him. Hey he needs it after over a week without sleep.

KM: There you go. I thought I wouldn't be able to post it

Kyuu: You let me suffer.

KM: And? What's your point?

Kyuu: You let me suffer _attacks KM_

KM: That's it I will let YOU wear a pink fluffy tutu in the next chapter and sing Mary had a little lamp

Kyuu: you wouldn't dare

KM: Try me

Naru: While the two .... discuss over there. I would like to say please R&R


	4. Chapter 4

KM: Is he still alive?

Naru: don't think so

Ita: Maybe you shouldn't have said that

KM: Nah I think he will get over it. Anyways do the disclaimer Naru. I have some ... business to attend to _looks at the dead Kyuubi who twitch a little and pokes with stick_

Naru: Sure _clears throat_ KM does NOT own Naruto when she would Itachi would have all of me for himself and Sasuke the bastard would be getting raped by Orochimaru

KM: But my youthful friends I own this youthful story

Lee: I LOVE YOUR YOUTHFULNESS KM. YOSH YOUR ARE SO FULL OF YOUTH

KM: _sweat drops_ Yeah riiight

_**Chapter 4**_

KONOHA (KM: HA hadn't thought that would come ne?)

In Konoha it seems that everything is normal but it isn't. At the Hokage monument you could see a large and I mean large hole where the faces of Tsunade, Minato, the fourth Hokage, and Sarutobi were. But the villagers wasn't interested in that little fact. Little fact? My ass anyways they celebrate that the Kyuubi bastard was gone. Why they know well Jiraiya couldn't shut up about the fact that Naruto was and well sake was there too. So it is no wonder that he had talked about although Tsunade had forbidden him to do so.

**FLASHBACK** (KM: _**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**_ _sniff_ Why _sniff _me _sniff begins to cry_)

It was morning when the patrols on the gate saw a figure crawl their way. They first thought that it was a wild animal till they saw the white spiky hair and the clothes the figure, bloody pulp or whatever it is wore. "Isn't that Jiraiya-sama?" asked the guard on the left side name's Kotetsu (KM: I think it was) and in the right side was Lee. Well his team was on a mission and he was in the hospital do to some injuries. That is the price when you go on a mission when you are not completely healed. But that was only because of Tora. The cat of hell as IT is known under the Genins.

"Yes my youthful gate friend I think it is he" stated Lee with shudder green spandex. I hate that thing. Anyways Kotetsu almost fell over because of the youthful crap of him. Gai sure as hell has a mini-me in Lee. "But my youthful friend I wonder where our youthful friend Naruto-kun is: I can't see him any where and his youthfulness" said Lee as looked out for Naruto.

"You are right Lee-san. Where could he be?" asked Kotestu. They had Jiraiya completely forgotten and he was now a few feet away from them. They also didn't hear his moans of pain it seems. They were in their own little world after the statement of Lee and thought about the whereabouts from Naruto.

Meanwhile Jiraiya couldn't believe his ears. I mean hello he is a bloody pulp and the two idiots don't do anything to help here. He is badly injured and the two are talking to each other like he wouldn't exist for them. He would cry if he could but sadly he couldn't thanks to the women and Kisame. He really doesn't know for what he deserved this. Come on he is a good man. He does always the right thing. Then let me test this theory of yours pervy sage.

He is a drunk, a peeping tom, steals Naruto's money for every chance he get and last but not least he forgot totally about Naruto as he crawled his way to the gates of Konoha. Well Kisame dropped him when he was a few miles away. Hey they shouldn't know about it that soon and Jiraiya had to work for it. Anyways he was right in front of the gates and the two idiots were awake now from their trance like state or whatever they were in. "oh look Jiraiya-sama has arrived here" said Lee "I will tell Lady Tsunade" Kotestu nodded but Lee couldn't see because he had already left the gate.

Tsunade's office

Tsunade sat behind her desk and signed papers while she glared at them. That was an enemy no Kage as won over yet. Each Kage knew how evil paper work could be. It is the spawn of the devil. When you think you have finished the one stac paperwork then comes out of nowhere two new ones. It's like nothing you snap with the finger and voilà there it is. _`It is evil. Why did I say yes to that job?_´ asked Tsunade herself but before she could answer it for herself, was her office door threw open and Rock Lee in all of his youthfulness stand in front of her with the good guy pose. Help me.

Ehm Anyways Tsunade shuddered when she saw that. How can people wear that-that thing. That is nothing normal it's even more worse than the paper work. Well maybe not as the paper work but you catch my drift no? And the worse part on this is that she hadn't any sake this day and no she hadn't anything hide in her desk like normally. Well she had but Shizune had took it away from her and had destroy it right in front of her eyes. `_No that was the nightmare I had last night_´ ehh yes. Shizune had taken it away from her and hide from her though she can't find it. Poor Tsunade.

"What is it?" asked a grumpy Tsunade with lack of sake. Lee shifted nervously from foot to the other and began to stutter. He knew very well that it isn't a good idea to piss Tsunade off when she hadn't any sake. Although she is always grumpy she isn't as grumpy as when she isn't drunk. Man sooo many times I wrote grumpy. However he had to say it now or he would most likely be dead when he doesn't hurry up now.

"Well Tsunade-sama, Jiraiya-sama is in front if the gate an..." but he couldn't finished because Tsunade had butted in "why is he here?" she asked with a raised eyebrow that showed how annoyed she is now.

"We don't know but" he hold up his hand to silence her and show that he isn't finished now "like I said but Naruto was not there either with his youthfulness" and there she had hoped he would stop saying that youthful crap. What a shame that is. Oh well but when the information finally sank in she roared out "_**WHAT?! NAROTU IS NOT WITH HIM!? WHEN I GET THAT OLD FART IN MY FINGERS**_ (CENSOR)(CENSOR)(CENSOR) _**AND THEN I WILL**_(CENSOR)(CENSOR)(CENSOR)" while her rant Lee cringed because of the threats she is going to do to Jiraiya. Poor man will never be the same again in his entire life. "_**BRING ME TO HIM?!**_" she yelled that the whole village shook form her voice and the Hogake monument get some crack. Man she sure as hell was angry with him. Her voice was demonic when she spoke it was creepy to hear her.

"Right Lady Tsunade this way" he spoke with fear in his voice when she looked at him with a glare. He felt her killer intent and thought `_WHY ME_´ and had tears run down his face. Ever so slowly he lead her to Jiraiya and made his last will on his way to him. They were at the gate in a matter of minutes and Tsunade saw Jiraiya on the ground and run to him. As she reached him she began to beat the living hell out of him well what was there from it.

"_**YOU INSULTING BASTARD WHERE THE BLOODY FUCKING MURDER HELL IS NARUTO?!**_" she yelled. The villagers had their hands on their ears and thought whoever that poor man is he has their sorry for whatever he had done. But would they know it was about Naruto than they would have thrown a feast for him. but it seems they didn't hear how Tsunade Naruto yelled. And here I often hear that I don't have brain Idiots. Jiraiya didn't say anything. He was afraid: Afraid of what? you asked. Directly in front of him stood a very pissed Tsunade that was ready to beat him to death the most painful way she could think of.

He gulped and questioned himself what could make her soo mad. Then it hit him. Naruto. He had completely forgot about him and every one knows how Tsunade think about him as her son/brother. He was in **DEEP **shit now _**VERY DEEP**_shit. It would be a miracle when he lived through this beating. "T-Ts-Tsunade-hime what do I own this visit?" he asked while he thought about a way to escape her wrath. That sadly did not work.

"_**DON'T PLAY DUMB WITH ME JIARIYA TELL ME WHERE HE IS NOW!? OR...**_" she let the threat hang in the air to show him what she meant by it. Jiraiya gulped and began to tell what had happened to him. He also told her that he didn't know where Naruto is but think that Akatsuki most likely have him. That was all what Tsunade needed to hear when she began to beat him because of his incompetence.

THREE DAYS LATER TSUNADE'S OFFICE

Tsunade was in her office after her three days beating for Jiraiya who now was in the hospital. She was happy well not really happy but she could let out some stream. She had asked herself all the time why she had allowed Naruto to go with Jiraiya. She knew some thing would happen but didn't thought about. Who could have guess that it would be THAT bad. She sighed and reached fro a bottle of sake. Shizune had finally allowed her to drink but that was after she had told her about what had happened to Naruto. Shizune too wasn't happy about that either but she didn't beat the shit out of Jiraiya like Tsunade.

Tsunade then saw an envelope with her name on it. She was sure that it was three days ago not there. SO that makes the question who placed it there? Whoever it was must be a good shinobi when she or he can get through the guards at her door. She let it slip. The envelope had all of her attention now. She asked herself what it is. It could be a trap or all she know but when it was a trap why then go through all this only to place it in her office where the ANBU guards could most likely catch the intruder. She sighed and opened it.

She began to laugh when she read at how she was addressed. It can only be one person who has the guts to write to her in such a manner and address her in such. He truly needs to learn some respect but she doubt that he would ever learn. However she continued to read the letter and was laughing in the floor when she had finished it. Shizune came running in Tsunade's office when she heard a loud thump.

"Tsunade-sama what eh why are you laughing?" asked now a confused Shizune. She had thought something bad had happened to Tsunade and ANBUs had come with her in case it was bad. The ANBUs ,too, were confused although you can't see that. Tsunade had a hard time to understand that she wasn't alone any more and when she did she mention Shizune to her.

"Leave I have some .... thing to discuss with Shizune" the ANBUs bowed and left. Shizune gave Tsunade a questioning or whatever look. "Read" she said only as she handed her the letter. The letter said:

_Heya Obaa-chan,_

_Long time no see ehrm I mean write? Anyways I wanted only tell you that I am at the Akatsuki. Yes you read right Akatsuki and please close your mouth or you catch flies. Well it really isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I have lots of and lots of here. Most likely because of fish stick. You know him as Kisame. He is the one here that suffers the most under me. The rest in Akatsuki find to pretty much amusing to see him as a victim. _

_But before I forgot why I wrote you this letter I should begin to tell you ne? Well you see I was training in the forest alone. Yes ALONE the old pery sage had left me. The whole year it went like that. HE would give me a scroll to read and then leave to do his 'research'. Tch pervert. I thought it would be awesome to be trained by him but I was mistaken and I think you are too. Who would have thought that he would do this? I mean you had trusted him with me and then does this. A shame really. But I am not mad it's the opposite. I think you would love it here too but well you are the Hokage so._

_Hehe but guess what Baa-chan!? I tell you the old fur ball has trained the whole year instead Henatei-sama. Yes it's true and please Tsunade-Baa-chan and Shizune-nee-chan breath. Don't look like that. How I know that you are reading too? Well I mean I gave the letter to the old hag though it's only logical that she let you read it too ne? Anyways yes he trained me or rather said is training me still. Well he didn't agree first but I could convince him to do so. _

Here he snickered evilly and Tsunade and Shizune goes a chill down their spine `_Poor Kyuubi. Who knows what Naruto did to do him_´ hey Kyuubi is only human well demon but he, too, does not deserve it to be one of Naruto's victims.

_I will write more to you but I have some... business I have to attend to._

_Ja ne_

_Naruto _

_P.S. Tell pery sage that there is a present for him in his pack._

Shizune couldn't believe what she had read in this moment. I mean come on which person would like it to be in the organization that tried to kill you several times? Naruto that is the answer here. He would be the only one to do so. She sighed that was all to much to take in one day. First she was told that Naruto was kidnapped, second Jiraiya is nearly dead thanks to a certain Godaime and last but not least Naruto likes it there and has joined them. It could only end worse but not for Konoha. Oh no for Akatsuki it would be worse. They don't know what they let them with him.

"Now what Tsunade-sama?" Shizune asked her. Tsunade was in a thinker pose. You know hands folded and chin on them. She closed her eyes to think better and you could saw her wringles when you went nearer to her.

"We leave Shizune!" she said with a cold a stare. Shizune was taken aback. She didn't thought that she would think about that. But she knew about her past that was why she left Konoha but she didn't understand it now. So she did the only logical thing she asked her. "Why?"

"Revenge, Shizune. You hear how they celebrate about Naruto 'betray' do you not?" Shizune nodded and slowly got what Tsunade meant with the 'Revenge'. She then had an idea and told it to Tsunade.

"Why not tell our allies about Naruto's 'betray'? You know how they will react don't you?" Tsunade smirked to that. Oh yes revenge IS sweet. She is going to love this. Oh yes she is now Konoha would suffer without their allies. It is a shame that they didn't know that they HAD the allies BECAUSE of Naruto. It really is a shame. Well not really for her but for them. She couldn't do any thing against the grin on her face that began to show on her face. Oh yes this will be sweet. With that she began to write the letters to the allies. yes this would indeed be fun to see.

**END FLASHBACK** (KM: YES)

Tsunade sat in her office in her Hokage robes. She smirked when she thought about the faces from the Konoha's villagers and the faces of the council when she declared her retirement and leave the village. Shizune was quite alright with it.

"Tsunade-sama it is time for the .. announcement" said Shizune as she walked in and saw the way she was dressed she couldn't help but smirk to herself. "That will most likely not end good"

"I know it is a shame ... for them" and Tsunade laughed when she said that. Jiraiya was a fool. Tsunade wouldn't heal him and that was fine with her. She thought about Naruto. Maybe she would see him again but it would then be as friends and not enemies. That was the thought that made her happy and gave her the strength to do this. She nodded in Shizune's direction and made her way to the baclony for her speech.

She went out and saw that every one safe for Jiraiya and Naruto there was. She cleared her throat to get them to shut up and it worked. I mean who wants to get against the Hokage when you know that she will kill you and she is known for her temper so yeah it was quiet. "People of Konohakagure No Sato. I will tell you this once and it will work immediately. I RETIRE" all jaws dropped "Oh and yes BEY" she said too cheerful and threw her robes off and left with Shizune on her heels. AH but she forgot something "Oh and you have no allies any more and no I WILL NOT come back. Hope you have a good day in hell" and that was the last thing you hear and saw from them both in the village.

They both made their as fast as possible out of the village all the while had Tsunade a hard time to suppress her giggles and nearly chocked on one. Shizune shook her and too giggle on faces of the villagers. Ah it was quite a sight to see. Indeed it was. It would be from that day on that it was the las time they saw or heard from Tsunade the slug Sannin.

KM: _still poking Kyuubi_

Ita: ... You know he will not move right?

KM: I know but when he wants it to stop he HAS TO get up

Ita: _shakes head_ Please R&R

Naru: Yes please when not we send you Lee


	5. Chapter 5

KM: _sings_ Er steht da vor, da vor, da vor und du? da hinter, da hinter ...

Naru: Alright who gave her sugar? _looks at Kyuubi_

Kyuu: Hey don't look at me although I would have done it after her last stunt with the stick _shudders_

Ita: _sigh_ Please can we get over that ..NOW

KM: _still singing _Noch ein Lied, noch ein Lied. Welches Lied, welches Lie...

Ita: KM does not own Naruto

Kyuu: THANK KAMI-SAMA

Naru: Woha no youthful crap from her it must be grave

Ita&Kyuu: _nod dumbly_

Mada: _comes in and read carts_ BUT KM does own this story

Ita,Naru,Kyuu: O.O WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?!

Mada: ... -.-;;

_**Chapter 5**_

Akatsuki base...again -.-;

Naruto was running down the hall to escape Madara who now wanted to .. talk with him. Naruto was in a corner when Madara did find him. `_Finally_´ thought Madara as he had cornered Naruto after a 10 minutes chase. His sharingan was spinning when he took a step further to Naruto. Naruto tried with all his might to hide in this one corner from Madara. Well technically Tobi he doesn't know that Tobi is Madara so. `_WTF?!_´ thought Naruto when he saw Tobi approach him.

But their fun was interrupted when Naruto just run away from him in the next second like he wasn't even there. Madara blinked once, twice, third, fourth, fifth and a sixth times. Well it had been a seventh time when not Itachi had come and had brought him back to reality when he asked him something. But he didn't knew because of his inability to listen to him this time.

"huh wha?" asked fresh awaken Madara who stared blankly at Itachi with a raised eyebrow. It is only sad that Itachi can't see it due to his mask he wears when he's Tobi although he wears it all the time. He sighed what was barely to hear. Itachi blinked at Madara just to say 'I-don't-repeat-myself' clearly on his face to read.

Itachi sighed "What happened to you that you are that distracted?" Then they heard a scream. A girly scream at that. They looked at each other and run in the direction from the scream. It seems that it came from the kitchen. "What was that?" he asked.

Itachi run in the direction from the kitchen with Madara high on his heels. He was the first to enter and what he saw wasn't what he thought it would be. In front of him in the middle of the kitchen was Kisame tied up and sitting in a giant baking tin. Around him were vegetables. He sat there sweating like a champion and had a terrified look on his face. He spotted then them and had pleading eyes in their direction to free him from Naruto.

Naruto was standing behind him on a chair. Kisame was still to high for him to reach him properly that is why he is standing on the chair. He had a smirk in his face that would let Oro-chan piss himself and Madara scream in fear who did exactly this as he came in. Hello Naruto is known as happy go lucky idiot and not that-that scary. Naruto has in his hands a big ladle. Where he got it I really would like to know. With it he poured some soup on Kisame who screamed again. In this moment came the other Akatsuki members to see what caused this girly screams to shut them up.

Deidara was the first to enter and kissed the floor because he was laughing that hard when he saw Kisame sitting there in the baking tin. When the rest entered they almost pissed themselves when they saw the smirk in Naruto's face. Zetsu licked his lips when he smelled how Kisame smelled. Well it was delicious for him. His little brain immediately said to him it would give fish for dinner. At thought his mouth watered and he couldn't wait till Kisame was finished baking.

"When is Kisame ready to eat?" asked Zetsu Naruto. He stopped what he was doing to think of an answer. Kisame thought it was over now but he was then as white as snow when he heard Naruto's answer to Zetsu's question.

"A few hours. Why?" that threw the rest of the Akatsuki out of their usual manner. They all stared at Naruto and couldn't believe what they had heard. Even Deidara stopped his laughing. Also he doesn't like Kisame that much but even he wouldn't do THAT to him. Although he deserved it for his stupidly sometimes. Well OK all the time but that is not important now, I guess. Zetsu nodded sharply his head and then left the kitchen.

"Strange guy" mumbled Naruto and hopped from his chair that was faithful for him to pour soup on Kisame. "What?" he asked the others when he noticed that they were starring at him funny and had taken a step back from him. They quickly averted their eyes from him in hopes he would forgot it. But we are talking here about Naruto so he only shrugged and left the base to go into the forest till supper.

"What has just happened here?" asked Konan with confusing clearing shown in her voice.

"Don't ask me that" said Sasori who turned to Deidara who looked some what very pale now. Hell who wouldn't? "Deidara are you ok?" he asked without any emotions in his voice. Typical. Can't even show emotions in front of others... But that is not important now. He sighed as he didn't get an answer from the wannabe bomber.

"Hey I insist that" he shouted to no one in particular. That got him weird stares from the others. You know they can't hear me right? "What?! Now they think I am insane?" Yup, that's pretty much it said the authoress with a smug smirk on her face. "ARGH I HATE YOU KM?!" shouted Deidara while the others thought he had complete lost it. Which I think he has but that will come in later so.

"Deidara? To who are you talking to?" asked Hidan who like a mystery didn't swear. Authoress whistles innocently. Deidara shook his head and tried to tell them it was me. But how luck is and I AM the all powerful authoress of this story nobody believed him. Ha sorry blondie...NOT. Deidara stomp his foot and left. The others shrugged and were going back to do their own business. Itachi stared some at Kisame and left to stalk-ehm I mean follow the blonde kitsune without him notice it. Well that shouldn't be that hard now.

Pein and Madara had meanwhile left before the question was asked and went to Pein's room. It was the same as Naruto's only the colors were different. Well every room is like Naruto's build the only thing that is different is the colors for each member. Pein has orange and red, Madara's baby blue and pink, why because he has to do this because of the Tobi act and because I the all powerful authoress say so. Konan's navy blue and earth green, Hidan's violet, Kakuzu's green and brown, Sasori's red, Deidara's yellow and turquoise, Kisame's all blue because it let's him remember of home, Zetsu's like his head black and white. It's because his to halfs would fighting over it and to stop it he had painted black and white. Itachi's black and purple.

"What do you want?" asked Pein Madara who looked like he would shit any moment himself and that is thanks to a certain person coughcoughnarutocoughcough. Madara shifted uncomfortable in front of Pein who just raised an eyebrow to that. I mean you don't see everyday how The Madara Uchiha is shifting in front of you uncomfortable. `_Damn and I have forgotten to tell Zetus to give my camera back. Damn it to hell_´ thought Pein. "Oh and we need rules here" added Pein as an after thought.

Madara just blinked. He looked like Pein had just said he was pregnant. Well it wouldn't surprise him after he had seen how Konan often acted with him. Any ways he asked himself _`Rules? What the hell has Pein smoked to say that?_´ Well I mean they are an organization from S-Class Nunken-nin. "What rules?" asked a wary Madara.

"Well the first would be to never play poker with Naruto" said Pein with a serious face. Madara choked on is saliva, blinked several times and then said the most intelligent thing that went through his head at this time "Huh?" I mean Pein said that with such a serious face that this had to happen then as reaction from Madara. And you could all see that easily thanks to that he took his mask off.

"Well, it's easy to explain" Madara motion him to continue with a gesture of his hand "You have seen us playing poker with him when you came back, no? And Itachi told you that we played the week through" Madara slapped himself in the face when he heard that. But Pein continued as if he didn't do it" and we lost...all the time. He won all our money we have" Madara didn't knew what to do then. He was lost to that. No money. Where the hell should they now get their food, water . But Pein was still not finished "We could let him gamble at the casinos"

"Why?" asked Madara but he could think were it would go.

"Easy. He told us that he haven't lost in any gambles. He always won them" Pein said lazily to him. "Besides it would only do good to us then" Madara hmm'ed and waited to hear the rest of the rules from Pein.

"The second would be to NOT enter his room. Whatever reason it is" that took Madara's interest now.

"Why is that?" he asked with a raised eyebrow and amusement in his voice. He saw how Pein shifted nervously in front him, averted his eyes to the ground and heard how he mumbled some thing but couldn't quite hear it. He could imagine that it wasn't something good but he was not sure with it. "I couldn't hear it. You have to be a bit louder Pein" he said.

Pein could clearly hear the shit eating grin in Madara's voice when he heard him speak about. "Well I'm waiting?" yup no doubt that bastard is grinning about it. He mumbled again something and a few curses about Madara. "I can't hear you" Yes the asshole is enjoying it. `_Why did I have to say yes to that fucked up position again?´_ he asked himself. But no he doesn't get an answer to that question. Poor guy.

"Well it was when he went to his room to change in the clothes from us and Itachi went in without knocking and Naruto was standing there naked and..." he trailed of. Madara raised now both eyebrows and asked himself what is so bad about it that Itachi saw Naruto naked.

"And what Pein? What happened then?" he asked slightly annoyed. Pein snapped out of it and continued

"Well it was not the naked thing but the way Itachi looked at him. Like he was piece of meat and the next thing we hear is loud Hentei-sama and a loud thud. We then ran there and find a heavily blushing Naruto that then clothes had on and Itachi who was out cold with a blush too" Pein told him. That could Madara not believe the Itachi Uchiha had a blush. A freaking BLUSH. The man who killed his very own kin without a second thought and only let his brother live. There sure as hell must be some thing wrong. But the way Pein told him about it it must be true.

"O..K..." He said still not believing it. I mean who would? "Are there more rules" he asked although his brain has a shut down after that information. Pein nodded and told him the last rule that was the most important one of the three.

"Ah yes we should also not piss him off you have seen Kisame earlier no? And that was not the worst he had done. On a scale from 1 to 10 it was a 2" Pein said and nodded to himself as if he was proud of himself. Madara blinked a few times and was now completely lost. He knew he shouldn't have taken that vacation when the blonde came to them. "We should tell the others about that" he said.

Madara nodded still absent and said "I will get them" he placed his mask back on and left the room in search for the others.

With Naruto and Itachi although he doesn't that he is with him

Naruto was on a meadow with some flowers here and there and pond in the middle. He sat on a rock nearby the pond and thought about the last days and hopefully the fluff ball would shut his trap for a few minutes. He sigh as he thought back with the Itachi accident how he had named it. He still blushed to that when he thought about. _`What the hell is wrong with me?! I mean didn't blush when Sasgay or Kakashi saw me naked hell even Ero-sennin. But why Itachi? Why him?_´ By now he was in tears mental and Kyuubi was laughing his ass off.

`_Why the hell are you laughing fluff butt?_´ asked Naruto who tried not to laugh after he came in his mind and saw the Kyuubi. `_Oh and by the way nice outfit. Really_´

Kyubbi looked at him like he had lost it but when he saw at what Naruto was pointing to help him he was as white as Fruity-chan's gay ass. **What the hell?!** the great beats roared. Well you see Kyuubi is now wearing a hot pink, fluffy tutu. He is lucky that there isn't a mirror or he would faint when he saw the rest of him. But as fate is a bitch and I am an ass and have power here in this story. I let Naruto think of a mirror for Kyuubi to see him in all his... fluffyness.

`_You should look in the mirror pinky_´ said Naruto as almost chocked on his laughter. But when he saw the face of Kyuubi to his outfit it gave him the rest. He just had to laugh. Kyuubi had locks on his tails and I mean all nine tails and the best is they are in all colors of the rainbow isn't that nice? On his head he has a tiara with a big diamond in the middle. To the sites they are going smaller and smaller. The tiara is on gold with some silver. On his ears he Kyuubi had earrings in pink with Hello Kitty as symbol. Poor guy. But the best was the make up in his face. It is completely miss matched. Naruto had some what calmed down but then...

**ARGH KILL ME NOW?!** Naruto broke down laughing... again after he heard that. It was just too hilarious not to laugh about that face from him. **DAMN YOU KM I'M GONNA KILL YOU?! **shouted the overgrown kitty. Naruto gave Kyuubi a weird look after he shouted at someone who isn't even there or exist.

_`Er fluff butt you are alright?_´ he asked him but he only get a weird look from Kyuubi and inwardly sighed. `_Damn fuzz ball!_´ 

**KM GET THAT-THAT THING OFF OF ME NOW?!** demanded the cute, pink, fluffy, little kitty that doesn't have any fashion sense. `_Are you still right in your mind Kyuubi?_´ asked a now concerned Naruto. He wasn't sure what's going on with the fuzz butt but it couldn't be any thing good when he's talking to the air. Kyuubi was now shocked because Naruto hardly calls him by the name Kyuubi. When he does it its most because he's angry or worried about him. OK the latter is the most time not the case but still.

**Nothing flash bag** growled the kitsune and turned around to show Naruto his back well his butt when you want to know it better.

Outside Naruto's mind

Itachi was a few feet behind Naruto and wondered what was Naruto mind that he didn't notice his chakra signature. He didn't even suppress it so he should notice it. He saw how Naruto stopped in a meadow and settled down on a rock near the pond in the middle. He didn't even notice how he walked out and Naruto could have notice him then. It would be the over with his stalking- erhm I mean following to make sure he doesn't do any thing stupid.

He settled down on a branch from a tree that wasn't far away from Naruto's rock. He made himself comfortable and brought his pocky out. He then watched Naruto as he his face adapt a frown and his eyes got a far away look in them. `_Why the hell did I follow him? I mean it isn't like he would do suicide. sigh But it is interesting how he's sitting there with _-here some sob stuff music is playing-_the sun shining on him. He's looki..._-music comes to a prompt stop-_ WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT SHIT?!_´ asked a very confused Itachi himself now. sometimes I love my job BWAHAHAAHA-coughcough-hahaha-coughcough- Man I'm soo out of it.

While he thought about he's feelings he didn't how he almost fell from the branch after the reaction to his thought and unfortunately but it's the way you're looking at is one wrong move and he would fall. And guess what? He just did that. _`Damn what the hell is wrong with me?!_´ He sighed and began to stand and hopped that Naruto didn't hear it but sadly Naruto came just in that moment back to earth and gave Itachi a smug smirk as the elder Uchiha looked at him. He inwardly groaned _`Just great why me?_´ he thought and slapped himself Naruto just laughed and made his way to him.

"Nice landing Ita-chan" said Naruto with a snicker.

"You aren't going to et me live that one down are you?" he asked mischief Kyuubi host who just shook has head and was standing in front of him. "Just great" he muttered under his breath and Naruto chuckled to that only. Naruto was standing in front of him and just a few inches from his face away and .....

KM: _still singing_

Naru: Well why are you here?

Mada: Blackmail

Kyuu: We know how you are feeling.

Ita: _nods_ Don't let it get it you or she will never let you live it down. Oh and Kyuubi nice outfit.

Kyuu: HUH?

Kai: Read the story and I am back from vacation before you guys ask.

Kyuu: _reads story_ WHAT?!_ is twitching and paralyzed._

Naru: Please R&R


	6. Chapter 6

KM: Heya next chapter

Naru: _shakes head_

Ita: ....

Mada: I want to be as far away as possible from her

KM: Do the disclaimer Madara

Kyuu: _still twitching and paralyzed_

Mada: KM does NOT own Naruto and that is good.

KM: BUT MY YOUTHFUL FRIENDS I OWN THIS YOUTHFUL STORY!? Oh and here have a cookie Madara

Kai: Oi don't forget me?! I want too.

KM: Yeah whatever

_**Chapter 6**_

Then they heard a loud bang and some one shouting curses at Tobi. That didn't surprise them. Itachi inwardly curse. Damn he was damn near it. `_Damn it!? DAMN IT TO HELL!? When I get these idiots in my hands they wish they never met me?!_´ he thought. The mood was now completely destroyed and Itachi knew exactly who would pay for this.

_`I AM GOING TO KILL THIS MOTHERFUCKERS?!_´ thought Naruto angrily. Damn he had it planned to this point but then the shit heads just head to pull this crap. Naruto didn't notice how he let killer intent out and the meadow became awkwardly silent. He didn't even notice how Itachi looked at him like he had a second head. "Don't you think we should see what the noise was about?" asked Naruto who still cursed inside his head. Itachi nodded and took the lead.

The walk back was in an awkward silence but the two didn't knew how to talk about it. The silence took hold another two minutes till Naruto couldn't take it any more and just had to speak with Itachi also it would be a bit weird to talk to him now. It's not that he doesn't like it when it's quiet but it also remembered him of childhood when every one ignored him. For him is silence a remember of his childhood. And we all know that it wasn't a pleasant one at that.

"So why were you there?" ok he knew that wasn't the bast way to start the conversation but what should he talk about? Itachi tensed for a moment that doesn't went unnoticed by Naruto but he let it go for now. The answer to that question was now more important to him and nothing else. It's not like Itachi is stalking him right? Right?

"I was nearby and have seen you in the meadow by yourself and wanted to know if you were ok" it's not that he had lied about it. Just twisted the truth a bit. OK a lot but he really had wondered if he was OK.

"Liar" sing song Naruto. It's times like this that Naruto could kiss the Kyuubi for being there and sharpen his senses to that of a fox. He could clearly smell that Itachi lied. But now he wanted to know why? Meanwhile Itachi cursed in his head every swear word he knows. And that is quite a lot when you know that he is living with Hidan in the same house eh lair or whatever the hell it is where they live in. On the outside Itachi was his calm and emotionless self but in the inside he was far from it.

"I don't know what you are talking about Naruto" he said in a monotone voice. Naruto raised only an eyebrow and smirked. Not good but Itachi didn't need to know that now.

"Well if you aren't going to tell me than I have to make you tell me" his smirk only widened then when he looked at Itachi. Now it was Itachi's turn to raise an eyebrow to that.

"Really?" he said with amusement clearly shown in his eyes. His lips twitched a little but he wouldn't allow to become a smirk. "I'd like to see you try then"

"Oh believe me you will like it when I do it" Naruto said with a full blown smile in his face and smug look that so screams to him to run for his life. Some how Itachi had the feeling he should run away from Naruto as far away as he can. But he dismissed the feeling soon when they came back to the base. And what they saw was not some thing they had expected to see.

Akatsuki base before Naruto and Itachi came back

Deidara was in his room but unknown to him Tobi came into his room when he didn't look. He wanted to tell him about the meeting. But Madara wouldn't be Madara ehm I mean Tobi in that case if he hadn't thought of something. Tobi sighed when Deidara still hadn't noticed him although he was standing right in front of him. Some times he wondered if Deidara really was a shinobi with skills and not have all the time luck in his fights. But sadly as it is for him Deidara knew he was there and pretend he wasn't there for his ... surprise.

"DEIDARA-SEMPAI!?" screamed Tobi and pounced on him to give Deidara a hug. After all Deidara is his favorite blonde. `_I AM SOOOO GOING TO KILL MYSELF FOR THAT LATER!´ _screamed Madara in his mind where cried anime tears and hug himself in chibi form. "Tobi comes to tell Deidara-sempai that there is a meeting and Tobi is a good boy!" he cried happily. Then a fist went flying into his face with a shouting blonde attached to it.

"GOD DAMN IT UN?! TOBI SHUT UP UN AND LEAVE NOW UN!?" such nice words to such a good boy don't you guys think so too? Man I can clearly feel the love in the air.

"BUT Deidara-sempai!" he whined. God how Madara hated himself right now. AH I love it to be the authoress. Ehm any ways "Pein-sama send Tobi to tell the others that he's holding a meeting in a few minutes. Besides Tobi is a good boy!" he shouted happily all the while crying mental anime tears and hugging himself.

"Now you told me un. Leave un!" said the not so happily blonde who was ready to kill Tobi any moment now. "I swear to Kami-sama un when you don't leave this instant I WILL kill you un!? Clear?" the last part he said in such a sweet voice that you wondered if he didn't was in fact a girl. ...Or woman for the fact.

"But Tobi doesn't know where the others are Deidara-sempai!" he told the blonde while hugging. It was torture for him to do so. And that was it. Deidara lost it.

"That's it UN!" screamed the wannabe bomber. Tobi just looked confused. He didn't understand why his `Deidara-sempai´ meant with it. Deidara grasped his clay and began to `form´ with his mouth hands a spider bomb that had enough power to let Konohagakure No Sato to vanish completely from the maps. He had and evil smirk in his face that spoke every thing in this moment.

Meanwhile did Madara his last will mental. `_I let all my belongs go with me in my coffin. No way in hell let I get them away from me. Pein get to be the real leader after all he deserved...NOT. Konan will get my room. Heheh serves the bitch right. Kisame gets my_ _shampoo, Hidan gets my knigge he should learn some manners. Kakuzu gets my mask. He seems fond of it. Oh well. Mhmm Itachi gets my poky. Not that he didn't have taken what was left of it. Naruto gets my torture books. Seems that he's born for it. Zetsu will NOT eat me. Sasori can get my place in hell. For I care. I have to many things to do here. And blondie I will take with me. My life sucks_´ EH yeah any ways as he was finished all you heard was a loud bang. And then there was a bright flashy light.

The others just sweat drop and hoped that the two would some day stop that nonsense. But we are talking here about Deidara and Tobi in that matter and that means it will never stop. Maybe when they are dead but I don't think that will work. Because everywhere were they go those two idiots of a cow will follow them. Means no peace when they are dead. Poor guys.. NOT.

Pein just shook his head and waited for the explosion. Maybe he will be reborn again and will never have to see those two idiots ever again. OK he respects Madara that he will admit but sometimes he just takes it a notch to high with his acting skills. Konan just cursed and promised to hunt them down as a ghost when they should live and when not she will do it in their next live. Kakuzu mumbled something like he will take their money as payment or punishment. Hey he will live through this. Lucky bastard with five hearts.

Hidan cursed loudly and promised to Jashin that he will get him these idiots souls as an offering. It was good for that he was immortal or he would end like the rest of them. Sasori just had a blank face but in his mind were same interesting...things going through that he could do to the wannabe bomber. Zetsu sighed a sigh of relief and did a little victory dance. Happy to be as far away as possible when his `Deidara-will-let-us-all-exploded´ sense kicked in. Well Kisame was standing beside Zetsu. He knew about that sense from Zetsu because he had seen how Zetsu was one time right with it. Though he had left with him. Smart shark. Out of nowhere Kisame had a vain popped out of his temple. Wonder why?

Unfortunate or fortunate it's just the way you look at it. They all lived through this shit and were all out for the girly wannabe bomber's blood. Kisame and Zetsu were first to find Deidara who laid well ehm hang in a nearby tree up side down and was out cold. Tobi was not far away from him. He was in a tree that was four trees away from Deidara's and hoped up and down from it. How he does that the world may never know. But that is Tobi for you. "Zetsu-sempai, Kisame-sempai we have a meeting" Tobi said cheerfully as nothing had happened at all.

Ahh ignorance is a bliss. The two stared at each other owlish and nodded then dumbly. I mean what can they do about that. It's just Tobi's way to be well Tobi. "Thanks for telling us Tobi and now go and tell the others" Kisame said annoyed. He really wanted to beat the crap out of Deidara after he had pulled such a stunt and didn't even think about it. He could have hurt someone of their dysfunctional family. After Tobi has left and was out of earshot Kisame turned to Zetsu who grinned wickedly at him.

"So what do think we should do with him?" asked Kisame as he pointed to the fallen girl who still was out. Zetsu's dark half answered him to that.

"**First we tie him up**" he said and went to grab Deidara. Kisame had meanwhile out of nowhere a rope in his hand. AH the wonder of the Akatsuki cloak really. It was him a mystery how in this small peace of cloth so much things can be stored. "**Give me the rope. I am sure you will love what comes next**" he said with a wicked grin. But his white half had something to say too. It was just a matter of time for him when it would wanted to talk too. He could already feel the headache the two would cause.

"Stop that is NOT the right thing to do!" his white half yelled at himself ... better said his dark half. "I know he has done a wrong thing but we are not the ones who can punish him. Only Pein-sama `_and Madara-sama_´ can do so" he scolded them. But they both shrugged it just of like he wouldn't even exist. They just acted like he didn't even interrupted them.

"How about we destroy his clay in front of his face?" suggest Kisame.

"**That we can do too**" he said "**but I think it would be more painful for him if we showed them the photos from his last mission. And because he is tied up he can't stop us. Besides I have more ideas we can do to him**"

"No you can not do this to him. How would feel if some one would show photos of you in such a situation mhmm?" asked the white half. Zetsu has long given up to stop the bickering of his two halfs and thought about nice things in the deeps of his minds where no one could getting on his nerves.

"Ah shut up! No body is interested in what you say. So hush" said Kisame with annoyance in his voice. "Not bad. I know how he hates that accident how he likes to call it" With that now settled they grasped Deidara and were of to place where once the base ehrm lair or whatever the hell it was once was.

Meanwhile Pein had found the others and bandaged them up with Konan and were now waiting for the others to come o the meeting. They saw how Tobi ran well he rather hoped to them. He waved at them and then pointed behind them where Naruto and Itachi stood. Itachi had a blank face and Naruto just ...well his eyes were wide and then he yelled.

"_**DEIDARA WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON THAT FUCKING BODY OF YOURS I WILL**_(CENSOR)(CENSOR)(CENSOR)_** AND THEN I WILL TAKE YOUR CLAY AND RAM IT DOWN YOUR BLOODY THROAT!? AFTER THAT I CUT OFF YOUR BALLS AND PIN THEM TO A BLOODY WALL?! WHERE EVERYONE CAN SEE THEM ?!THOUGH THEY KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO THEM IF THEY DARED TO SUCH FUCKING THING TO ME!? OH AND DON'T THINK I AM FINISHED WITH YOU?! YOU COCK SUCKING SON OF A BITCH!? THAT IS ONLY THE BEGINNING FOR YOU!? WHEN I WERE YOU I WOULD RUN FOR MY PATHETIC**_(CENSOR)(CENSOR)_**LIFE**_(CENSOR)(CENSOR)(CENSOR)_**!? IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT YOU **_(CENSOR)(CENSOR)(CENSOR)" Naruto's voice hold now a demonic edge to it and the other Akatsuki members backed away from him. But Naruto had all the right to scream like that. Thanks to Deidara he lost all his hard earned money from last week. It wouldn't be a surprise when the earth shook too and while his rant went on the other beagn to see him in a new light.

The others stared at him and can't believe that Naruto had said such words in his vocabulary and knew some good threatings for that. And in this moment they all swear to never ever anger Naruto. He could be scary when angry and besides they all loved their lives. Thank you very much! Hidan stared at Naruto with his mouth wide open. He couldn't believe it. A kid had just out cursed him. A fucking KID for kami's sake. Everyone knows how he is the god of swearing but it seems that he has to give the title to Naruto. But he had to admit some words Naruto had used even he didn't know what they meant. And that means some thing. Deidara had woken when Naruto had spoken the first words and now hide behind the others but they all left him in fear of Naruto's wrath.

Meanwhile did the Kyuubi a party in Naruto's and praised the kit of his vocabulary. He wiped away anime tears and hold a speech for his kit. He was so proud of him and the kit is still learning under him. Who knows what he will be after he had finished? Maybe the kit wasn't lost as he had thought in the beginning of the training. He has got everything right after he had explained them to him. Although with less information as possible to make it for him harder. Maybe he should teach the kit a new jutsu when they train later at night.

"Oh no Deidara we ain't going to help you with this" said Konan who shoved him in front of Naruto who had a glow in his eyes that he doesn't like at all.

"Oh Dei-chan we sure as hell will have some _**FUN**_!" Deidara didn't like the way how Naruto emphasize the word fun. It send chills down his spine and the grin in Naruto's face wasn't a kind one either. He gulped and hoped some thing would happen that will distract him. But he had no such luck. "Come on Dei-chan! I promise it won't hurt ...much" he said cheerfully.

The others backed farther away from Naruto. He was worse than a pregnant woman with moods swings. We all know how scary they can be. But Naruto was ten times worse than them. Deidara had anime tears flow down his checks and prayed to every kami he knew that they would safe him. But no kami was that stupid to go against Naruto when he was angry. Who knows what will happen then to world when they die just because they wanted to help and angered Naruto? Nope definitive not.

Madara was silent laughing to himself. Now he knew that it definitively gives a kami. Deidara was getting the worse punishment he could think of. Naruto what wants he more? Nothing that is but now he has to search or an other base. But it was good that he thought about the seal he did before he told the others about this base here. He knew that some thing like this would happen and had seal made that would rebuild the base with every thing in it the moment it was destroyed. Took him a damn long time ,too, to get it right down without a mistake in it. Other wise it wouldn't work at all. He snuck away from them though he could it in peace and he knew it would be because Naruto would handle Deidara now. He smirked at that.

Meanwhile Deidara tried every thing in his power to get away from Naruto who had that insane smirk in his face that promised him great pain in the near future. Why oh why was it him again. `_Oh yeah I destroyed the base and his money_.´ he thought while again trying to get away from the insane fox boy. But sadly as it is he couldn't and was now in the mercy of the fox boy. Naruto grinned when he thought about the things he will do to Deidara. His grin widened when Deidara shrieked when he grasped him by the collar of his cloak.

Itachi was silent the whole scene and just shook his. `_Note to self: Never anger Naruto. 2 note: never try and get his money. 3 note: when forgot just look at Deidara_´ he thought. He wondered what Naruto will do to him when he is finished with Deidara and he had heard the threats for Deidara. Now is the question what he will do to him. Most of them weren't nice ones well all weren't nice but he hoped they wouldn't be the same as Deidara's.

When Deidara stopped to run away from him. Naruto then dragged him in the forest where he will... teach him a lesson or two. Maybe then he will think before he does some thing without thinking. All the while no body notice how Tobi vanished.

KM: Well that's it

Mada: ... I hate you

KM: _glombs Madara_ awww love ya too

Mada: _twitches_

Ita: You both need help

Kyuu: _still paralyzed and twitching_

Naru: Please R&R!

KM: Yes please. I think we need a doc for the fuzz butt

Mada: Do that again and I WILL kill you

Kai: Why me?!

KM: Do it and you will be here forever and now be a good boy and be silent!

Ita: Help us!

KM: Muahhahahaha _chokes_ damn_ pant_ must practice more. Any ways no body will help you or have you forgotten that you are at my mercy thanks to the contract that you ALL signed? 


	7. Chapter 7

KM: Mada-chan where are ya?

Kai: I think he hides under our bed

_A few minutes later_

Ita: _comes in and sees Madara_ Do I want to know why Madara looks like this?

Kyuu: KM?

KM: mhmm?

Naru: _bursts in_ Oi what happened here?

Kai&Ita: You don't want to know

Kyuu: Why is Madara wearing a hot pink, fluffy dress with so many blue kitties on it, wears a tiara, Hello Kitty earrings and a make up that doesn't quite match him?

KM: I tell you when you are older Kyuubi. Now Naru-chan do the disclaimer!

Naru: _sigh_ Km does NOT own Naruto

KM: BUT my youthful friends I own this youthful story!

Mada: HELP ME _cries_

KM: NOOOO DON'T CRY!? YOUR MAKE UP!? AND I DID IT WITH SOOOO MUCH LOVE!?

_**Chapter 7**_

In the forest with Dei-chan and Naru-chan

Naruto had dragged Deidara to the meadow where he thought about Itachi and where the two almost kissed. Key word almost. But thanks to him they didn't and for that he will pay dearly. And because he destroyed his oh so hard earn money. When he stopped in the middle of the meadow. He had a shit eating grin in his face that let Deidara go paler than the gay ass pedophile A.K.A Fruity-chan A.K.A. Oro-chan A.K.A. Orochimaru. And we all know that he is extreme white. Deidara was sweating and praying that he will live through this.

"We're here" announced Naruto cheerfully. Deidara just sweated more to that.

"R-re-eally n-n-nice pl-ace" he stuttered out. Naruto just grinned as he looked around in search of an escape way. But sadly as it is he didn't found one.

"Now Dei-chan" he said and took immediately Deidara's full attention who looked at him with big eyes. _`Man the look is priceless_´ he thought and tried not to laugh in his face. He success but the comment from the fur ball wasn't him helping here. But he ignored them in favor for Deidara's `lesson´. He pulled out a scroll from his cloak and opened it. The scroll had few seals he undid and with a puff and some smoke there stood a TV with a video recorder. "Look Dei-chan here we have the first the first step of your lessons." he said with a smug smirk.

Deidara didn't like it one bit. Especially when he saw the video that Naruto pulled. His eyes widened as wide as they could and tears fell form his eyes. He let out a scream that tore you apart when he read the title of the video. "_**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**_" he tried to get away from him but Naruto was faster and tucked a the rope that Kisame and Zetsu had used on him to tie him for their punishment. "Please every thing but t-th-that" he cried out.

"Oh don't tell me you don't like it" Naruto said with sadness in his voice but in the inside his sadistic side jumped from happiness of his reaction to the video. "now be good and watch OK?" he asked with happiness in his voice. Man talk about mood swings.

Deidara again tried to get away from him but to no avail it didn't go quite as planned. He shook his head so fast that you thought it would fall off. He cried out as Naruto grasped him and placed him in the front of the TV and placed the video in the recorder and pressed play. Naruto's grinned widened more when he saw the expression from Deidara. Deidara's expression was priceless. It was a mix between horror, fear and pain. It was good that Naruto stood next the TV or he would look the same and it was good too that he had earplugs though he didn't have to hear it. Who knows what it could do to him. Besides now he didn't have to hear the screams from Deidara any more.

**Kit remind me to not piss you off** said Kyuubi with a whimper.

_`Did you just whimper_´ asked Naruto

**Of course I have I feel sorry for the meat bag no body deserved such a punishment** he said with a shake of his head **And to think that this is just the beginning from it**

_`You know_´ he began _`I always thought you hated humans. Why is it that you take now their sides?_´ he asked him.

**Runt no body deserved your punishments. Human or demon that is just unfair**

`_Mhmm oi Kyuubi are you back to normal?_´ asked Naruto. He thought about their last meeting with the `accident´ how Kyuubi had named it after that. He still laughed about it when he thought about it. The Kyuubi send him a questioning look. _`I mean when you wore the ... clothes_´

**Yes I am flesh bag **growled the great tailed beast when he thought back about it. It seems he still is angry at the authoress for that stunt. Any ways Kyuubi had a wicked idea for the `lesson´ how Naruto had liked to call them to teach Deidara to think before acting. **Oi brat!**

`_What fuzz butt?_´ asked an irate Naruto who had hoped that Kyuubi would be silent for the rest of the `lessons´ but no such luck for him.

**I have a few ideas for the lesson you could add for him** Now that had waken Naruto's interesting. A few ideas more. Why the hell not!

`_I am all ears Sensei_´ he said with grin all thoughts about letting Kyuubi suffer when he heard those words vanished. It's like magic. Just a shame they don't work with Kisame after the pranks he did on him.

Meanwhile Deidara was going insane not that he already is but that was just the top. He was now watching Dora the explorer for three hours. I mean **THREE **_**FUCKING **__**HOURS!?**_ Who would not go insane. The sad part it is that the opening theme wouldn't go away from his brain. It was a catchy song. He couldn't stop humming it and he hated himself for that fact. While humming the song he didn't notice how he began to sing it. All the while tears were running down his checks.

After the fourth hour of watching that that thing or whatever the hell it was Naruto switched the video tape to one of Barney the purpled dinosaur. I hate that thing like the Dora thing or whatever the hell they are. But they are soo not human. Any ways Deidara now wished he wasn't here. Naruto was now laughing and happy that he had filmed from the beginning. HA Blackmail is such a good thing in the world. Kami bless the one who invited it. Kyuubi was laughing too about it. He hasn't seen any thing this funny in long time. But when he thought about it he had. He is living in Naruto and the boy knew how to make ones live miserable and use it for his own good.

Again four hours later Deidara was brain dead. His eyes lost their focus and drool run down his chin and on his cloak were a wet, dark spot came to live that grew with each passing second. Naruto and Kyuubi sweat dropped at that. They had thought they would have a few hours to have some fun with him and not to brake him so soon. `_Man that means our fun is over_´ he sighed to that `_And I just the perfect things to do to him. Man life sucks_´

**Brat life isn't always fair you should know that of all people** Kyuubi said bluntly to him without a second thought. He just heard a loud sniff and then knew he was in deep shit. _**Oh shit please let the Uchiha not hear that sniff! Please I know how protective he is of the runt**_ he thought with panic. It was true the elder Uchiha was extremely protective of Naruto since the day he joined them. Every one who upset Naruto was later meet with Itachi's wrath and that was not something you want to happen to you. The Uchiha had also a special sense for it or feel when Naruto is upset and is immediately at his side then. It's like a sixth sense he has discovered for Naruto.

Naruto was no fool. He noticed it when Itachi was always their to cheer him up and used it against every one in the Akatsuki and it was quite a funny sight to see when this happened. Kyuubi now tried to cheer him up because no way in hell would he face the elder Uchiha''s wrath. Although knew no body could get him but we are talking here about Itachi who do any thing to see Naruto happy. And he had no doubt that the Uchiha could get easily in Naruto's mind. However high Naruto guarded it the Uchiha had the power for it and not like his dimwit of a brother who ran to a snake for power. Where every one knows that he is a pedophile and would rape him every time he got the chance to do so.

But before he could do any thing just the Uchiha he didn't want to see or face for that matter burst through the trees his sharingan eyes spinning madly. But softend immediately when they landed on Naruto.

With the others before Itachi dashed in the meadow

"SOO what now?" asked Konan. That earned her some stares and shrugs. She sighed why was it again that she had to work with idiots? `_Oh yes that's right Pein blackmailed me to do it_´ she thought. But why did he had the pictures in the first place? It couldn't be that he stalked her till it happened right? Right? It just couldn't be.

"Well we should search for a new base" suggest Pein but Kakuzu had to add his two cents to that

"But a cheap one" he protested loudly. No way in hell would he pay for an expensive one when he can avoid it. He just can't loose his babies. They mean to much to him and they are the only ones he can trust. They wouldn't betray him or whatsoever. But before any one could they more about that subject. They heard a loud poff and saw how white and dark smoke surrounded the area where they stood.

"What the fucking hell was that shit?!" swore some one. You have three guesses who.

"Why are you asking us that?" asked a calm voice with no emotions in it. As an after thought it added "You can clearly see that we don't know it too. So shut up and wait that some thing happens"

"You have nothing to say to me you fucked up puppet!?" screamed Hidan. Now the onslaught was open. No body and I mean no body had lived through a beating from Sasori when they insulted his puppets. Not that I know of. The others watched erhm I mean heard with mild interest on the ...`conversation´ the two will held any minute now.

"What did you just say?" asked Sasori calmly but had already his puppets out and ready to attack the idiot of a Jashinist.

"You heard me puppet freak!? I ain't going to say it again shit head!?" he ,too, was ready to attack his scythe was out and ready to use. But what they both forgot was that smoke was between them and they could not see their own hands although they could be directly in front of their faces. That was a little problem for both of them.

The others had stopped listening to them when a while ago and tried to find their was out of the smoke. They all were startled when they heard muffled cries from Kisame. It sounded like he was pressed against some thing and talking into it. They sweat dropped when they heard how he cursed the object he ran into. It was quite entertaining to hear. But they were broken from it when they heard some one shouting and the smoke vanished.

Direct in front of them was their base, lair or whatever the hell it is. Not scratch or a broken window. It was standing there like nothing had happened to it at all. And to top it of at all Tobi was standing on it and jumping like there is no tomorrow. That is what happens when you give Tobi sugar and don't look after him. Well Madara sure as hell knows how to act like an idiot. Maybe he should take a carrier as an actor like Naruto when shinbo isn't some thing for him any he was standing there he thought. `_Mhmm maybe it's high enough to kill?_´

The others just starred blankly at him and the base. Then they shrugged their shoulders and went in. Why should they question it that their base, lair or whatever it is, is standing there in front of them and without a scratch? It's there and that that's for them. Now they don't have to move and find a new one. Hidan and Sasori were standing both far away from each other and didn't even face themselves as they stand there. They both sweat dropped and withdraw their weapons or puppets and too went in.

Itachi was the last one to enter but before he could his sixth sense went high alert and that means only one thing. His little Naruto was upset and some one will pay for it. One minute he was standing in front of the entrance and next he was some where else. Madara had seen every thing from the top and couldn't help but chuckle. He knew that Itachi had some attraction for the kitsune but hadn't thought it would be that extreme. He first notice it when Naruto cried the first time because of some thing Kakuzu said to him and he was around him. Not one minute later was Kakuzu out cold and burn marks all over him.

He shook j´his head and went in maybe he should torment Kisame for the time being. The shark was always an easy target and Naruto is for him a great help now too. How he pranks him is a mystery and that it always success is more a wonder for him. Perhaps he should ask for some advice. When then later he wouldn't be that stupid to face Itachi's wrath now.

With Naru-chan, Itachi and an unconscious Dei-chan

As Itachi burst through the trees he saw a weeping Naruto and was ready to let the idiot pay who hurt what's his. Naruto looked at him with big, sad and watery eyes as he spotted him. He let out a loud and pitiful sniff to show that he was really upset. Man was Kyuubi fucked when Naruto told him what happened. Kyuubi inwardly cringed and hoped that nothing will happen. Itachi made slowly his way to Naruto and knew something wasn't right but what? He got down to his height when he reached him. He softly sighed as Naruto didn't stop his weeping. He spoke softly and let a hand rest in Naruto's shoulder.

"Naruto-kun what happened?"he didn't got an answer just just loud sniffs. He sighed again. He looked around and saw nothing that could have done it. It's a wonder he still hasn't noticed Deidara or what is left from him. He sat down in front of Naruto and starred at him. Naruto was still weeping and Itachi just grasped him and press him to his body in a tight hug. Well he had the practice over the last week. He began to hum a little bit but didn't noticed it and a few minutes later Naruto was fast asleep.

It seems torturing Deidara, fighting with Kyuubi and crying all in one day had exhausted him. Itachi looked down when he noticed how Naruto's breathing evened in and out and slightly smiled at that. Naruto looked peaceful and calm and not like a hyperactive prankster and a but evil when he wanted to. He stood slowly up to not wake him up and made his way back to the whatever the hell it is place. As he walked back did now noticed that Deidara was missing. He blinked a few times to recall if he saw him the meadow but no he didn't. He just shrugged his shoulders. `_Oh well he some where be found eventual_´ he thought and chuckled a bit.

Naruto meanwhile snuggled a bit closer to him for the warmth of his body. Itachi looked down when he felt how Naruto press himself to his body and heard how he let out a sigh of content. He shook his head and again starred ahead of him. Wouldn't want to trip now would we? He might hurt little Naru-chan. Any ways they reached the whatever the hell it is place in a few minutes. As Itachi went in he hears nothing but loud snores from Kisame's, Hidan and Kakuzu's room. It is an enigma to him how they can snore that loud and be heard to the entrance and don't wake up from each other. Although he's still standing in the entrance of place say some thing when he can hear them there. Is that even possible to do? It's a wonder their enemies still hadn't found them... yet. He sighed and went in the direction of his room.

As he stood in front of his room he thought back of had happened back to them. Well who would have thought that so much can happen in only one day. He kicked his door open and made his way in his room. And with kicked open I mean kicked open. He sighed yet again and thought to himself how you can murder them in their sleep. I mean seriously they don't wake up from the snores of Hidan, Kisame and Kakuzu and don't even say some thing when he kicked his door open. And to prove his point he kicked his door close too. It gave a loud bang and then silence. He sweat dropped and shook his head.

He made his way to his bed and gently laid Naruto down. But he didn't notice how Naruto had a death grip on him and first had to pray his hands off of him though he could lie down too. It was a hard task but some how he managed to accomplish it. He then tugged Naruto in and lay himself down next to him. He burrow his nose in Naruto's hair and then let sleep calm him. In his sleep Naruto snuggled closer to Itachi who subconsciously tightened his grip on Naruto.

With Deidara

Deidara was still in the meadow with his dazed expression and the droll running down his chin. The animals around him sweat dropped and left him alone. They just hadn't the time for him and besides they all had a home where they had to go.

KM: _pats Madara_ I like it

Dei: _still dazed_

Mada: _is still in the... outfit _Can I go now?

Kyuu: I answer you that NO.

Ita: You needed 7 chapters just to write that little bit of ItaNaru time?!  
KM: Uh-huh because it wouldn't go the way it should when I had done it earlier.

Naru: Please R&R! Can I get my cookie now?

KM: Yup

Kai: I want to see how lil' Naru-chan will react to the morning after

KM: I will not just say how that sounded. Any ways have fun in your life! Ja ne~!?


	8. Chapter 8

KM: YAAHOOO Today I am all alone. Why? Because I feel awful and might get an operation. The only one here is my personal slave Madara XP

Mada: I hate you _tries to hit KM_

KM: Oi don't hit me. I am sick so be nice to me?!

Mada: _mutters_ bossy bitch

KM: Why yes thank you. It's nice that you finally noticed!  
Mada: _shakes head _You are the only person I know who would see it as a complement. Any normal person would see it as an insult but not you!

KM: _snorts_ I am not normal so sue me! Now do the disclaimer Hime-chan!

Mada: _grumbles _didn't I tell you to stop calling me that._ clears throat_ KM does NOT own Naruto!  
KM: Yes you did but I ignore it and ya know why. BUT I own this youthful story!

Mada: I will never be free again right?

KM: Uh-huh but you have me. _hugs Madara _Now enjoy?!

_**Chapter 8**_

Sunagakure No Sato Kazekage office

It had been now a month till Naruto left Konoha, all alliances to Konoha were destroyed, he got the letter and he was informed that Naruto had joined Akatsuki. He was first furious and wanted to destroyed Konoha but after he had read the letter from Tsunade that explained her plan he had just smirked. That had scared the hell out of Kankuro when he came in his office after he read the letter. This smirk was for a long, a very long time in his face. Well it's still in his face but that's not important now.

Gaara was in his office now and for Tsunade who had said she would come with new information about his Otouto. She told him that he promised her to write to her and she would come update him after that. Now was the time for the update. Tsunade had told Gaara that she wanted to live here in Suna because she knew no body would expect her to be here after all what had happened between the villages. Gaara smirked at the thought about what Naruto would do to the Akatsuki members with his pranks. It would be quite a sight to see.

But sadly he is the Kazekage so that means he has to be here for his people and village. He sighed at the thought about the evil paperwork that is waiting for him after the `meeting´. Well one thing is sure the paperwork is faithful to him. I mean they wait for him to come him after his meeting and don't even move the slightest way or shrink in number. They really are faithful to him. But Gaara forgot immediately about them when he heard a loud knock on his door. He said an emotionless `come in´ and the door opened.

Tsunade was on her way to the Kazekage's office and couldn't help but grin when she thought about the paperwork he has to do. Well she sure as hell didn't missed it. That was one of the things she liked about quiting about the job. No more paperwork. Yes life was wonderful for her. Now you are asking where Shizune is? Well she hadn't wanted to stay in Suna. For her taste it was to hot and dusty. She had told Tsunade that she wanted to have her own life and continue to journey the country. Tsunade hadn't liked it at all first but Shizune had promised to write to her and gather information about how Konoha was doing for her.

Tsunade sighed at that. But she knew that Shizune had to do it. The woman needed to know that Tsunade wouldn't be forever around for her and look after her. But for Tsunade it was a daily routine with Shizune always at her side and it felt now awkward to not have her around any more. She sighed and made her through the people who where standing in her way. It was somewhat weird to go through Suna and find so many people out in the afternoon sun. In a few minutes she had reached her destination and opened the doors to the Kazekage tower. Inside it was surprisingly cold. It was a nice change from the hot and brutal afternoon sun.

She sighed and nodded to the secretary who nodded back. She made her way to Gaara's office and couldn't help but smile a bit. it shouldn't be a while till the messenger with Naruto's letter comes. She had insrtucted and explained Naruto where to find and how she wanted him to send her once a time in the week. It's not like she is worried but we are talking here about Naruto. He terribly screams for trouble and other things she did not want to think about. She was now standing before Gaara's office door and knocked loudly. After a few seconds she heard a muffled and emotionless `come in´.

As Tsunade entered she could see the stacks of paperwork and couldn't help but wonder why she had taken the position as Hokage back then and how she always managed to finish them.

"I see you have much to work, eh Gaara?" she said in a teasing tone and chuckled when she saw his death glare. She waggled her finger at him like mother would do to her child when it did something it shouldn't have. "Ah, ah, ah you wouldn't want me to go away now would you? I mean I am the only one who can get the letters from Naruto's summons no?"

"You won" he gritted out through his teeth "Well?" asked with a raised eyebrow.

"So?" she asked back with a raised eyebrow. Gaara blinked and slapped himself. `_Why me_´ was his only thought to that.

"When will the message come?" he asked almost loosing his patience. He could feel the headache coming and rubbed his temples to avoid. But no such luck when Tsunade came with the next stupid question. He could swear that she did it on purpose to annoy the living shit out of him.

"Dunno" she said with a shrug. Tsunade hide her grin when she saw the look in Gaara's face and laughed in the inside. `_Maybe I should stop?... Nah it's to damn funny to annoy the hell outta him_´ After a few minuted of silence Tsunade thought she should stop it and gave him the answer he deserved. "The message should be here in any minute now"

Gaara sighed. Finally he had gotten the answer he needed. He nodded to her and again they were in silence. Both couldn't wait for the message to come. After a few more minutes of silence they heard a poff that scared the crap out of them . They may be shinobis but some times they too can forgot it when they are too comfortable. I believe them sooo. Really I do. Any ways in front of them stood a black and silver wolf with two tails. He was in height about Akamaru when in Naruto Shippuuden.

"I have a message from Naru-nii-chan Tsunade-baa-chan!" said the wolf in deep smooth voice. Tsunade's eyebrow twitched at that. The brat had some how managed to teach his summons to call her baa-chan too. She swore to herself in that moment that she would punch the gaki to the moon the next she will see him. Gaara chuckled at that. He didn't even try to hide his amusement. Ah how the saying goes revenge is a bitch.

"Please can you give us the message?" asked Gaara polite with a small smile in his face. The wolf turned to Gaara and to the astonishment of the two bowed. Tsunade twitched more to that. Now it was clear to her the gaki will pay for that. To her the wolf showed no respect but to Gaara.

"Here Gaara-sama" said the wolf and gave him the message "Naru-nii-chan told me to say to you and I quote `Hey Panda-chan hope you have fun with all the paperwork. Well see ya later´" and with that the wolf vanished in a puff of smoke. Gaara began to twitch now too. `_Panda-chan? I am going to kill Otouto for this_´ he thought angrily.

Somewhere Naruto sneezed.

Tsunade chuckled a bit at the Panda-chan comment. But quickly stopped when she heard the growl from Gaara and saw his death glare. She shivered a bit to that. It sure wasn't pleasant to get them so directly and left an uneasy feeling for her. She cleared her throat and said "Shall we read the message?" she got a nod as an answer and was happy for the quickly change in subjects. Gaara opened the scroll the wolf had laid down on his desk and read out loud.

_Heya Tsuande-baa-chan and Panda-chan_ Here Gaara had vein appear on his forehead and a twitch in his right eye.

_If you are wondering how I am and if I miss you to both it is yes. It's been now a month ne? Well I can tell you both that I am Ok here and have a lots and lots fun. Mostly because of Kisame and now Deidara. But it's Deidara's own fault. Shouldn't have destroyed the base back then. He's still not back to his normal self if you are wondering. Man who would have thought that Dora and Barney are THAT dangerous to your mind? Any ways like I know you Baa-chan you want to know what is going on between me and the Uchiha now._

_Everything is normal between us. We are not in a relationship... yet. I know what you are thinking after I read your letter. Man what you have written gave me a good nightmare. Even Kyuubi is a afraid of what you had written down. Are you sure you are not related to Ero-sennin in any way? However I didn't write because of that. I wanted to know how you guys are faring after a month and because Baa-chan made write every week. Oh yeah and I should say `Hi´ from Shizune-onee-chan. I have met her in my last mission. _

_It was nothing too bad though. Just an assassination. Some idiot thought it would be funny to piss off Leader. It was not a nice sight to see after that. But it was his own fault really. Here has nothing changed too much and I really miss you guys but I know I will see you guys in my next mission. I have a partner now too. To your surprise or not it is Itachi. It doesn't surprise after the stunt I have done to Kisame and Deidara, Leader thought it would be safer to team me up with Itachi. Said something about mental torture or something like that. Meant that only he could stand against it better or though. Didn't really listen back then._

_I hope you miss me too and when not I will hunt you down and make you. Well that is it for now. Hope it was enough for you and wait for your answer._

_Ja ne_

_Naruto_

_P.S. Gaara I know what you are thinking and I tell you it will not work against me. When even an S rank Nuken-nin is afraid of me and I not of him what let you think I am of you?_

Gaara sighed out loud after he finished reading the letter. `_And here goes my revenge on Otouto_´ he thought. But that is the way Naruto is. "What does Otouto mean with him and the Uchiha in a relationship?" asked Gaara Tsunade.

"I explain it to you. It seems the gaki has a crush on him . And it seems the Uchiha has one too after I read the last two letters and the information I gathered from them. Now I want them to be a couple. They look cute together an..." Gaare had began to turn her out and rubbed his temples. This woman seems to possessed of the idea to get the two together and it seemed she would get the chance to do so. If he had read the letter right the Naruo and Itachi would have a mission here in Suna. He felt sorry for them he really did and how he knew her now she would get Temari for help too. The two could really need it.

It was fifteen minutes later that he had his office back and was alone to do his wretched paperwork. He sighed again and did his work. Maybe he should get Kankuro again to do his paperwork like the last time. It was funny to see how he tried to get the staple to shrink. Temari hadn't done better then Kankuro. Maybe he should just burn them and get on with it. It's not like someone would see after the papers right? Right. Though he just did that. Besides they weren't that important and no body would miss them.

Tsunade was on her way back and thought about a way to get the two together. It wouldn't be easy but what she had read in the letters of Naruto Itachi was very over protective and possessive of him. Maybe she should use that to her advantage. It could work when she played her cards right and like she knew Temari she would help her in that little plan of hers. Yes it could work. Now the only ones missing to it are Naruto and Itachi. With that she cackled evilly and went into her house.

Akatsuki base, lair whatever it is

Naruto and Itachi felt how a chill went down their spine and had the feeling that something would happen. Something that had to do with them. The two were in the living room with Deidara and watched over him who still wasn't the same.

"Did you feel that?" asked Naruto with unease Itachi who nodded to him and starred out if the window as if it held the answer to that feeling. "What do think it is?"

"I am not sure Naruto-kun" said Itachi who had again began to call him Naruto-kun. Naruto sighed but didn't said anything. "I have a question" Naruto raised an eyebrow and gestured for him to continue. "What exactly did you do to Deidara?" Naruto sweat dropped. He wasn't so sure if he should tell him about it. He shrugged with his shoulders when Itachi wanted a mental trauma though he should be his guest. It's not his fault then.

"Well... " he drawled "I just let him watched a video you know." he saw the way Itachi looked at him that clearly said `And-what-video-gives-someone-a-trauma-please?´. Naruto laughed nervously at that. "Erhm well Dora and Barney?" he said well more asked. Itachi raised his eyebrow at that and shook his head. "I mean come on how should I have known that this would happen?" he said with big, innocent and watery eyes that always got the elder Uchiha to believe him. This time it was no difference.

He sighed and wished Naruto would stop giving him these eyes. He knew that he would snap one day and jump him then and there with or without people watching. He wouldn't let it bother him then. Naruto looked seriously at Itachi. He was different now and looked like he would jump him then and there or it was just imagination. He shrugged Itachi wouldn't do this to him right? Right? As Itachi didn't come out of his thinking Naruto went to radical measures. He blew in Itachi's ear who jump a few feet into the air.

Itachi glared at Naruto who gave him sheepish grin and rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. He sighed Naruto was just too cute in this state and he had problems to control himself. Damn hormones. They just give him problems and the way Naruto looked right now wasn't helping him here either. He sighed yet again. How many times had he sighed now? `_I stopped counting by 149. Maybe I should do some training to take my mind of Naruto_´ he thought and got up. Naruto looked seriously at him and went in the direction of the kitchen as he saw that Itachi went in the direction of the `training fields´ or better known as the woods. Besides they could leave Deidara alone it isn't like he could do anything in this state.

In the kitchen Naruto made himself some ramen and thought about the.. encounter he had with Itachi three weeks ago. He still blushed when he thought about it.

**FLASHBACK** (KM: NOOOO _sob_ What_ sniff_ did_ sob,sniff_ I _sob, choke_ e-ever _sniff _do t-to _sob, sniff _you _breaks down crying_)

It was sunny morning and the sun shone directly onto Naruto's face through the window. Naruto began to stir and tried to turn away from the sun but to no avail he couldn't move. He opened slowly his eyes and squinted them shut when too much light came in them. He felt that he was on something soft and blinked. Since when is the forest ground soft? After a few minutes it hit him then. He was in a bed but he knew that he didn't went to his room yesterday. He had wondered how he was in a bed but then he remembered the yesterday events and blushed a bright red. He now knew who's bed he is in.

His blush grew darker when he saw why he couldn't move. The problem was that Itachi had him in a tight hug and his legs were interleaved in each other. Every time he tried to move the grip from Itachi became tighter on him. After the fiftieth whatever time he gave up and just lai down. He took a deep breath and notice how heavenly, in his opinion at least, Itachi smelled. He was a mix from cinnamon and roses with a bit of rain mixed in it. It was weird how the smell made him feel calm. He snuggled into Itachi a bit and let out a sigh of content. He let his eyes close and breathed Itachi's scent in.

Naruto let his eyes roam Itachi's sleeping figure and saw how the elder Uchiha had a look of content on his face and a small smile that you couldn't clearly see. Maybe when you looked better at him. Naruto had smile on his face when he saw Itachi's face and couldn't help but chuckle a bit. It's not everyday that you see Itachi with a smile and content face. He then laid his head down on Itachi's chest who had turned on his back. But unknown to Naruto Itachi had woken up after his chuckle and silently observed him. He waited till Naruto's breath evened out and then cracked and eye open. He raised an eyebrow when he saw their position that hadn't changed much.

He tightened his grip on Naruto a bit and sighed. He chuckled a bit when he thought about the reaction from Naruto when he will awake again. It will be some fun to see him then. He thought about a way to wake the little kitsune up and then smirked when he had a brilliant idea. In his opinion at least. He lowered his head though that his mouth was near Naruto's ear and then blew in it. The reaction was better than he accepted. Naruto jumped at least 5 feet in the air and then came crashing down to the earth when the gravity did its magic on him. Itachi didn't even try to hide his amusement form Naruto and chuckled.

Naruto glared at Itachi and pointed with his finger at him. "You?!" he said. with venom in his voice.

"It is rude to point with the finger at persons Naruto" said Itachi in a scolding tone.

"You?!... ARGH I don't even know how to call you that angry I am!" said Naruto who was red because of anger or embarrassment who knows. Itachi smirked just to that. "Cocky bastard" muttered Naruto under his breath.

"Cocky am I?" said Itachi with a smug smirk in his face and then saw how Naruto face invention a new shade of red. Naruto sputtered on his words when he heard the way Itachi was talking.

"Yes" he said and then took all his courage and asked Itachi the one million dollar question or whatever currency you have. "Why am I in YOUR room?" he asked this with an innocent look to make Itachi feel like a pedophile about it. But sadly it didn't work quite well. Itachi knew what Naruto had planned and had the perfect plan to let it back fire to him. He smirked what Naruto didn't like one bit.

"Well you wouldn't let go of me when I brought you to your room. You were clinging on me like you life depended on it." said Itachi with husky voice as he leaned in to Naruto who had taken a seat on the bed again. Itachi smirked when he saw Naruto blush because of him. To give him the rest and make Naruto blush more he said something that Naruto thought he wouldn't say. "Oh and you talked in your sleep." Now Naruo was a red that no body had ever see and looked away from Itachi. "You said something about me being..."

And then Naruto screamed and held his ears "_**AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH I DO SOOO NOT WANT TO HEAR IT!?**_"

Itachi cracked up laughing at that. `_Maybe I should not tell him what he said to me. It is better besides it wouldn't do good with what I have planned for him_´ he thought with a smirk. All the while Naruto dashed out of the room and ran to his room and locked himself in.

**END FLASHBACK **(KM: YAY)

He had finished his ramen and then got some ice-cream to eat while he remembered it and thought about a way to confess his feelings and to find a way to get Deidara back to his old self. Sasori was getting on his nerves and demanded Naruto to do something about it. He sighed and thought about the things Deidara liked. `_Yes that could work_´ he thought and made his way to Deidara's room with a smirked that let shit Kisame himself as he it on his way to kitchen.

`_What has the brat planned now_´ thought a wary Kisame `_I hope it has nothing to do with me_´ he prayed to Kami it isn't. He couldn't stand something like the last time again. It nearly gave him heart attack. But maybe he just imagined it and would be something normal. But he knew that the word normal does not go in the same sentences as Naruto's name.

KM: WOW not bad ne Hime-chan?  
Mada: STOP CALLING ME THAT!?

KM: _tears up and lips quivering_ Y-y-yo-you d-d-d-do-don-don't l-l-li-lik-like it?

Mada: _panics_ No I-I-I-I d-d-d-di-did-did-didn't me-mean i-i-it-it. It w-was just a jo-joke

KM: _tears in eyes _Really?

Mada:_ sighs in defeat_ Yes

KM: _pounce Madara _Yay

Mada: _mumbles _why me?

KM: But you have me _hugs him_ Now I am telling why they are so many updates...

Mada: It's because she has some disease that can't let her do some things properly...

KM: ...like going to school. _sigh_ it sucks really. I have all the time stomach ache and can't move around like usual and it hurts like hell when I do! _whines because of the pain_

Mada: _pats her_ Please R&R!


	9. Chapter 9

KM: HEEEEELLLLOOOOOOOO

Kai: Hey hope you're better now

KM: _sighs _sadly no it's only getting worse and my FF is the only thing that let me not think about the pain right now

Mada: _pats KM _Then rest

KM: HELL NO!? PLEASE DO TELL ME WHO SHOULD UPDATE THEN MY AWESOME AND YOUTHFUL STORY THEN?! WHAT WOULD OUR DEAR YOUTHFUL READERS THINK THEN?!

Ita: We get it _has Naru in arms_

Naru: _nods_ Uhu. Besides we can help you with the disclaimer. _leans back and snuggles with Itachi_

KM: _sighs and whines because she feels the pain_ Thanks guys_ takes Madara as hug doll_

Mada: _sighs_ KM does NOT own Naruto

KM: BUT my youthful friends I own this youthful story. _snuggles Madara_

Ita: You are getting better with her!

Mada: don't remind me _but hugs back anyways_

KM: _still hugging Madara _NOW on with the story and be nice Madara!

_**Chapter 9**_

Naruto made his way to Deidara's room and slammed the door open. `_Man I have always wanted to do that with someone others door than mine or Baa-chan's_´he thought with a smirk. He made his way to the closet and open and wasn't disappointed with what he found in it. There was Deidara's clay. The clay Deidara worshiped and didn't let out if his eyesight for one millisecond. Not even when he takes a shower. That was something Naruto didn't want to know back then but now it was important information for him.

The plan was an easy one. He needed for it Deidara, Tobi, Deidara's clay, himself and water, lots and lots of water. Naruto made the necessary hand seals for Kage Bunshin and with a puff of smoke there stood his clone.

"You take the clay to the living-room while I search for Tobi"

"Got it boss" said the clone and with that Naruto began his search for a certain someone who wears an orange mask. Naruto left the room and went first to Tobi's room without knocking. He again slammed the door open and couldn't help but chuckle it was just too damn funny. Besides there was no one who could stop him. He looked around the room and noticed that Tobi wasn't there and sighed in disappointment and went in the direction of the woods.

"Mhmmm perhaps Tobi went out with his rock? He did say some thing like that back when we had lunch" said Naruto to himself.

**Maybe runt**

`_Oh I see you are still alive_´ said Naruto to the little kitty. Kyuubi growled a bit to that

**Shut it brat. I have made a new trainings plan for you** Naruto was now eager to listen. For him was now Christmas. **When you have found the walking lolli pop and finished with that little plan of yours. We begin with it clear meat bag?** boomed the voice of Kyuubi through his head. Naruto nodded and went in the direction of the exit.

At the exit he looked out and saw that the sky was cloudy and sun was not good to see. But the animals of the forest were nonetheless outside. He made his way to the clearing that was northern from the base. It was official that this was the place where everyone trained. Besides it was only ten minutes away from the base though it was no long walk after the training when you exhausted after it. On his way there he saw some foxes ran through the bushes. It seemed like they chased something. He shrugged it was no interest of his. He only wanted to find Tobi and bring Deidara back to his normal self. He smirked at the thought of his plan and cackled evilly.

With Itachi and Madara A.K.A. Tobi

Madara and Itachi were currently starring into the eyes of the other. It was a starring contest of the will and to show who would attack first from the both of them. It was completely quite in the clearing. You could hear a pin drop to the ground it was that quiet. The animals didn't even dared to make a sound. It was as if they could feel the power of the two beings in the clearing and didn't want to be pulled into the fight of two. The fight that would most likely begin any minute now.

Itachi was standing in a lightly bend position with his arms in an angle were they could grasp everything that was coming to him. In his right hand was a kunai and in his left were shuriken spread like an open fan. His left leg was a bit behind him and the right one was in front of him to give him a better stance. His eyes were the onyx color and would from time to time flicker between the crimson color of the sharingan still they would be the deep onyx ones. Madara was in the same stance but the difference was that he had in his right hand a battle in red with razor sharp blades at the end. In his left hand were shuriken in the same way as Itachi's. Madara's eyes too flickered between the sharingan and the onyx color they held. But they too stand after a time onyx.

They continued stare at each other when suddenly a bird chirped loudly and gave them a signal to attack each other. Itachi was the first to throw his shurikens at Madara who fend them off with a quick wave of his fan. The fan let a strong wind escape itself that let the shuriken fell to the ground. While this occur Madara threw his shurikens at Itachi. He couldn't dodge them though in the last minute and he jump to his left were he landed in a crouched position with his right hand at his kunai holder. The shuriken had given him some scratches on his check. But before Itachi could do anything he felt how something press itself against his throat.

Madara sighed the boy was clearly not by himself or the fight with his thought. He knew exactly where the thoughts from him. They were by a certain blond kitsune that had given Kisame the hell till he joined and brought more laughter to them. He couldn't understand how the blond had managed it but he had. It was more fun the organization and Kisame and now Deidara have to suffer. Not that he complained about it. Now he could do the things he was supposed to do as the real leader. With a sighed he let go of Itachi and motioned for him to sit down next to him.

"Itachi" he began and saw immediately how Itachi flinched at the harsh tone in his voice. "Why are you so.. absent lately?" he asked and saw how Itachi went stiff and then relaxed again when he noticed that Madara wouldn't rip off his head.

"Sensei I don't know what you mean" he said flatly but unknown to him Madara had noticed how he went stiff.

"Itachi I know that you are lying to me. We both know that you could never lie to me" he said in a scolding tone and couldn't help but chuckle when he saw the frown on Itachi's face. Itachi had now a fight with his inner Itachi. It went like this.

**You know that you couldn't hide it forever from him right? I mean he is our Sensei for our lil' Naru-chan's cute, tight ass!?**

`_Mhmm_´ he nodded but then glared at his inner voice. _`What the hell was that?! He isn't ours and since when do I agree with you?_´

**Since today and now hush. We can never play this little game forever with Sensei. Besides I think he knows already**

`_No really_´ said Itachi who rolled his eyes and couldn't help but gave his sarcastic remark to his inner voice _`What gave you THAT idea? Maybe that he spoke to us? Or the fact that he knew I was lying to him? Or the fact th.._´ his inner voice interrupted him

**OK OK I get it already. Geez you don't have to be that mean to me. **

_`Hn you asked for it. I think I should talk to him. I know that he wouldn't let it slide this easily from me._´ he said but was not happy how it sounded. he really didn't want to face his Sensei about it and talking wasn't either in it. But that is the life and life isn't always fair. It always is a bitch.

Meanwhile Madara laughed because of the emotions he could clearly read from the younger Uchiha's face like an open book. It was not every day that this happened. Itachi always guarded his emotions very well and didn't even show his own family them. Except maybe him and Naruto. But that wasn't the point now. He wanted to talk about the love life of his student here and not the emotions he usually hide from everyone. The ones he could see now as clear as the day. Maybe not today but any other day.

"Now Itachi are you going to tell me?" he asked with amusement clearly shown in his deep smooth voice and the laughter that is seen in his eyes. Itachi `hn´-ed and then sighed. Madara took that as a yes and waited for Itachi to tell him.

"Well... It has something to do with Naruto.." but Itachi was interrupted by his own Sensei who jumped up and shouted out

"HA TAKE THIS NAGATO!? I TOLD YOU IT WAS ABOUT NARUTO!?" Itachi looked at Madara who looked like he had lost it now. Itachi certainly did thought he had lost it with that outburst of his. He sweat dropped when he heard the rest. "HA YOU OWN ME NOW 50000 yen"

`_What the hell!? Since when was my love life that interesting to you_´ thought Itachi who was now standing and had flames around his body and his fists clenched and ready to beat the crap out of Madara what he did after the next exclaiming from him.

"I KNEW IT ITACHI!? YOU ARE SOO IN LOVE WITH THE LITTLE KITSUNE!?" _**BAAAAAAAMMM**_ That was the sound that echoed through the forest after Itachi's fist collided with Madara's head who lay now unconscious on the ground twitching from time to time. Itachi was red from anger or embarrassment that was not sure but he was red.

Otogakure

"What the hell was that?!" asked Fruity-chan his lapdog Kabuto who shrugged.

Sunagakure

"That was... unusual" said Panda-chan. The secretary nodded and went of to do her work after he had delivered the next staple of the wretched thing.

Konohagakure

"The poor guy" said Kakashi as he walked out of the bookstore with his porn in hand. He giggled from time to time and didn't notice how Sakura was standing behind with a deadly aura.

Back with Itachi and Madara

"Damn Hentai-sensei" he mumbled under his breath and shook his head. No two minutes later stood Madara and rubbed the lump on his head that had the size of a grapefruit. He blinked a few times to get the focus back in his eyes and then starred Itachi. It was an awkward silence between them till Madara chuckled and then said

"Ha I knew it Itachi. I was right" and that earned him a second meeting with Itachi's fist. `_Why me Kami-sama? Why do I always get the idiots as Senseis?_´ he asked himself. But now Madara wasn't getting up again and in this moment Naruto came in the clearing. Itachi saw this and put as fast as possible Madara's mask back on. He sighed in relief when Naruto hadn't noticed it.

"Oi Itachi is that Tobi there down on the ground unconscious?" asked Naruto with a pout. Itachi nodded and had problems to avert his eyes aways from Naruto's lips. He didn't notice how he licked his lips and went to the blond. Naruto just looked at Itachi who had his hair out of his usual ponytail.

Now that he looked better he saw that Itachi didn't even wear his cloak. He wore a white shirt that showed his muscles and Naruto couldn't take his eyes off of them. But his eyes travelled down and he saw that he wore black pants. The standard ANBU pants. He drooled at that. Who would have thought that Itachi could make them look smexy? Itachi saw this and smirked at that. While Naruto was busy with him he took a good look at Naruto. Naruto's hair was same as always in one word unruly. But that was what he liked about it. Naruto wore a crimson t-shirt with a white fox and and blue wolf on it. He wore black baggy pants and had his kunai holster on his right leg and on his left hip was his shuriken pouch.

Itachi was now in front of Naruto who still was drooling. He smirked and leaned down to give the little kitsune a good scare. He was a few inches away from Naruto's face and then said "Boo!" that did it and Naruto jump in the air. That was his revenge on him for the blow Itachi in the ear thing in the living-room. But it surprised him that Naruto isn't in front of him. He looked around then looked up. There he was. Naruto clung to the branch of the tree like a frightened kitty. If Naruto had a tail it would swish angrily behind him. Naruto glared down at Itachi when he chuckled but smiled when he had a brilliant idea. OH Itachi didn't know that he now the world greatest prankster wrath against him.

Naruto jumped and was now in Itachi's face. Literally. He leaned more in Itachi who had an eyebrow raised but had in the next moment wide eyes when you looked him directly in the face. But it didn't stop there. No he fell down on his butt because of what Naruto did and Naruto landed on him. He was still in shook and didn't notice how Naruto continued his scheme against Itachi. Naruto let his hands run up and down at the biceps from Itachi and smirked when he noticed how Itachi shivered to the touch. Naruto leaned his face in though his lips were only one inch away from the Itachi's.

Itachi's heart was beating two miles in a second. He couldn't believe what Naruto was doing to him. The little blond was molesting him and what is he doing to stop it? Nothing. Instead he brought his face up and capture Naruto's lips with. He smirked when he felt how Naruto went first to shook stiff and then relaxed against his lips and kissed him back. All the while he didn't stop what he was doing. Naruto had closed his eyes when Itachi had kissed him and enjoyed it to its full contest.

Madara who was awake the whole time thought now would be the best time to vanish. I mean honestly would you be standing when your student is kissing his secret crush and would take it a notch up? HELL YES I WOULD! Erhm choughchough Anyways but Madara isn't me though he left them to have some private time.

Meanwhile Itachi groped little Naruto's butt and gave it good squeeze. Naruto gasped and Itachi let his tongue dive in Naruto's mouth. But Naruto wouldn't be Naruto though he fought with his tongue back. Itachi was that Naruto didn't taste like ramen. He was mix between chocolate and cinnamon. Itachi tasted in Naruto's opinion like kiwi and cheeries. But in the end he lost and the two had to break away from the lax of oxygen. Naruto opened his eyes and blushed when he saw the smirked from Itachi. The two were connected through a thin string of saliva. Naruto had stop his scheme when the tongue battle started and saw now that his hands were behind Itachi's head and in his hair.

"So Naru-chan. What did you want?" asked Itachi and smirked when Naruto blushed in this nice shade of red that he loved. He wondered how far this blush travelled down Naruto's body and felt how it got to tight in his pants.

"Erhm We-well I-I se-searched f-for Tob-Tobi a..." but stopped his stuttering when he felt Itachi's little problem. But that little problem was not as little as it felt. He blushed a darker red than the one before.

"Yes?" purred Itachi in Naruto's ear. He knew why Naruto stopped and smirked when the red got darker with each passing second.

"Ehrm I... Deidara... Tobi... clay..." he sputtered on his words and totally forgot what he wanted from Tobi and what it had to do with Deidara and clay. Itachi grinned secretly and brought his arms around Naruto's waist and pressed Naruto's body in his. Naruto shuddered to that but didn't do anything to stop him. Besides he was getting hard too from this and without a doubt Itachi had planned something.

"So Naru-chan it seems that you have a little problem here" he purred in Naruto ears an licked it for good measure. Naruto let out a low moan and grinding into Itachi who did the same. The kitusne gasped a little and raven again bent his head up to kiss Naruto again. The moment their lips met kitusne and raven closed their eyes. He let his hands travel up and down on Naruto's body and Naruto let his hands running down to Itachi chest where he rubbed his hands against it. He felt the muscles of Itachi and caress his nipples through the fabric of the cloth when he found them.

Naruto didn't notice now Itachi switched their position though he was on the ground and Itachi on top. He spread Naruto's legs apart and sit between them. Itachi broke form the kiss away and licked again kitsune's ear and nibbled at his ear. He heard a mewl from Naruto and continued his ministrations and let his left hand wander down to Naruto's groin and rubbed slightly on it. Naruto hissed when he felt that Itachi grabbed him there. Itachi smirked and used his other hand to get rid of Naruto's t-shirt with a kunai. A loud ripping noise was heard and kitsune was shirtless much to the ravens delight. Itachi let both of his hands wander on Naruto's torso who whined in disappointment when Itachi's hand abandoned his erection.

Itachi smirked when he heard that and lowered his head to suck on Naruto's right nipple the left one was in occurred with his left hand. Naruto hissed when Itachi bit him. But it soon became when from pleasure when Itachi switched between licking, biting and sucking. He blew against it to get the pink nub hard and then switched to the other one when he was finished. Naruto arched into Itachi's touch and moaned or mewled. He then trailed then butterfly kisses down to Naruto's navel and swirled his tongue around it. Naruto mewled when he felt the sensation from it and arched more into Itachi's touch.

Itachi dipped his tongue into the navel and was delighted when he heard a loud moan from the kitsune. He did it a few times more and then continued to travel south. Kitsune felt like he was on fire and the heat continued to grow with each touch, lick, kiss and bit Itachi gave him. Naruto had his hands burrowed in the raven's hair when moaned loud when he Itachi kissed the top of his clad erection. Itachi took off Naruto's pants and boxer and got the same rid of his clothes that had began to bug. Especially his pants. Naruto felt the cold air from the forest in his cock and shuddered at that. Itachi kissed the top if his cock and lick the under side of it. He heard Naruto moan and did again to tease him a bit. He soon took his cock in his mouth when he heard Naruto plead for it.

"S-st-stop t-teasing m-me I-ah- Itachi" said Naruto between his moans and nearly screamed when he felt how Itachi took his whole cock in his mouth and sucked on it. It was pure bliss for him. Itachi began to bob his head up and down. He smirked when kitsune moaned louder and louder. Naruto tried to buck his hips up but Itachi held him down with one hand while the other massaged his balls. The kitsune felt so much pleasure that he though he would explode. Itachi could feel that Naruto was climaxing and left his cock alone. Naruto whined in disappointment and opened his eyes to glare at Itachi. Said raven only chuckled and kissed the kitsune. He licked the bottom lip of him and was happy that he got entrance to the wet cavern. He broke the kiss and looked into Naruto's eyes.

"Don't worry I let you cum but not without me" he then held three fingers to Naruto's mouth and said only one word. "suck" Naruto took the fingers in his mouth and let his tongue swirl around them. He suck on each of them and teased the raven with it. Itachi groaned when he saw how Naruto let his tongue swirl around his fingers. When he thought the were wet enough he took them out and because he couldn't stand the torture of his tongue anymore. He spread Naruto's legs farther apart and put his finger at the entrance of the kitsune and looked him in the eyes.

"Relax Naru-chan ok?" he said in a soothing voice and eased on digit in. Naruto went stiff and whined at the foreign feeling. Itachi took his other free hand pump lazily Naruto's cock to take his mind of the pain. When he heard Naruto moan he let the second digit enter and then the third. He began to stretch that tight ass of Naruto. Itachi could feel the tightness and couldn't wait to burrow his cock in it. But first he had to stretch Naruto or he would hurt him and he didn't want that to happen.

Naruto didn't know how to feel anymore. First there is pain and then their is pleasure and now it is mixed and gave him a great feeling. He felt how Itachi stretch him and then began to move fingers in and out of him. he felt the pain but it soon enough vanish and he began to rock his hips on Itachi's fingers. Itachi smirked when he saw how Naruto rocked hid hips and moan under him. The sight was enough for him to almost climax but he controlled himself. He moved his fingers around a bit to find the the spot and was not disappointed when he heard Naruto cry out.

"Ah th-there I-ah-Itachi ahh- Do t-t-that again" Naruto gasp to get his breathing back and Itachi and moved his hands a few times and then took them out. He heard how Naruto grunted in disappointment and again glared at him with lust filled eyes. He chuckled.

"Ah impatient aren't we?" asked the raven Naruto just grunted and tried get his breathing back. Itachi spit in his hand to use his saliva as lube and rubbed it on his rock hard cock. He then positioned himself in front of kitsune's entrance and looked him in the eyes. He saw how sweaty Naruto was and that his hair stuck to his forehead. He looked in the lust filled eyes and saw that wasn't only lust but more. Naruto nodded to him when Itachi looked him in the eyes. "Relax Naru-chan and won't hurt as much" he nodded and forced his body to relax. He took his clue and slowly eased his way into Naruto.

Naruto hissed when Itachi eased his way in and tried to relax more. He knew that it would hurt it a lot more had Itachi didn't tell him to relax. When Itachi was all the way in he grunted because Naruto was do tight and hold still to let the kitsune adjust to his size. Naruto bucked his hips after a while and Itachi took this as sign to continue. He began to sat a slowly rhythm. Naruto was still in pain but then moaned out loud when Itachi found the spot again. Itachi smirked when he heard Naruto moan.

"Ahh F-f-fa-faster It-Itachi" pleaded Naruto. Itachi wanted to hear Naruto beg for it and played dumb.

"What do you mean Naruto?" he asked and went slower. Naruto grunted in frustration and growled at Itachi.

"Please I-Itachi faster" he begged now and was near tears because of the slow pace and the pleasure who was building up in him.

"I still don't know what you mean" he said innocently and that gave Naruto the rest.

"GOD DAMN IT ITACHI PLEASE FUCK ME SENSELESS" he screamed and with that Itachi pounded withouth mercy into Naruto who moaned to the sensation. Itachi smirked when he heard and was all to happy to do as the kitsune wanted. He leaned to Naruto brought him into a breath taking kiss. Naruto kissed back and broke the kiss when moaned out loud. Itachi trailed kisses to Naruto's chin and from there to his ear. He nibbled at it and then kissed along his neck. Naruto was busy now ta meet Itachi's thrust and moaned every time when said raven hit his prostate.

When he reached Naruto's junction between Naruto's shoulder and neck he sucked on it and heard Naruto moan. He knew that he needed to bit it when he wanted his little kitsune as a mate. He prepared it though it wouldn't hurt as much as it would unprepared. He had read that in the Uchiha libarary. In the past every Uchiha had mark his husband/wife in that way to show who he/she belonged to.

Now you could hear in the clearing only moaning and the sound where flesh meet flesh. The animals around them had stopped with that they were doing and were watching Naruto and Itachi while they had sex. But both were to deep in the pleasure they had created to notice it. Itachi felt that he was near his peak and grabbed Naruto's cock and pumped it in time with his thrust. Naruto's hands had somehow found their way to Itachi's shoulders and held him in a sitting position. He too had licked at the same place at where Itachi had licked him and sucked. He knew what it was and what Itachi had planned. Kyuubi had told him about the mating thing at first before he dared to teach him anything. Naruto was now glad that he did and moaned when he felt his cock harshly grabbed and pumped.

Itachi grunted and gave Naruto a swift kiss and then attached himself back to his junction. Naruto did the same and sucked at it again. He heard Itachi moan and licked at it. He heard how Naruto moaned and mewled when he felt Naruto clawed his back.

"Ahh I-Ita- ahh ngnn I-Itachiiii ahh mmnng I-I'm go-nnna cum" moaned Naruto out. Just they both came Itachi bit him and Naruto bit Itachi. Naruto came on the outside and Itachi inside him. Naruto grunted at the pain he felt on his shoulder and he heard grunting too. They both shuddered a bit of the pleasure they felt and Itachi pulled out of Naruto. Naruto's breathing was labored and Itachi took a deep breath and gabbed Naruto's shredded shirt to clean the both of them of. Naruto had fallen asleep just after and Itachi chuckled to that. He dresses Naruto first and then himself.

It would take a day till the symblo of his mating mark would form. He touch his junction and chuckled. It seems Naruto knew what he had planned and did the same to him. He dressed himself up and held Naruto bridal style and went in the dirction of the base. The animal were all laying on the ground because of the magor nosebleed they got from watching the two come. Some twitched a little bit.

Naruto snuggled closer to Itachi which eyes softened when he saw Naruto snuggle up to him. He went in the base and went straight for his room and locked it. Naruto heard while he was asleep a deep chuckle in the back of his mind. And Deidara well he was completely forgotten and even as the clone from Naruto dispelled itself and gotten the memory from it. He was in to much pleasure back then to notice it. Deidara was still sitting in the living-room with the expression.

Kyuu,Ita,Kai,Naru: _starring at KM with wide open eyes and jaws on the ground_

KM: _has nosebleed _WOW Forest sex _giggles pervertly _And perverted animals

Mada: _whistles_ nice

Ita: Do one again please?

KM: Mhmm _shrugs_ Why not

Naru:_ blushes_ NO My ass still hurts form it

Ita: Well then I have to change that _takes Naruto in KM's room_

Kyuu: GET BACK HERE UCHIHA! I DON'T LET YOU MOLEST MY KIT AGAIN_ chases after them_

KM: OK they definitive need help _has head in Madara's lap_ You know? Your lap is a nice pillow

Mada: _sighs _Thanks. Anyways please R&R! _turns to KM _And you rest now! I know you are in pain again!?

KM: _sigh _I know but I will not stop writing! I WILL continue. Ja-ne!?

Kai: I think I am the only normal person here. I am surrounded by idiots_ goes in corner and cries_


	10. Chapter 10

KM: Ne Madara?

Mada: Hn?

KM: Where are Naru-chan, Ita-chan and Kyuu-chan?

Mada: ... You don't want to know. And stop to act all tough! I know that you're in pain! _sighs_

Kai: He's right you know

KM: So cruel _lips quivering and tears in eyes_

Mada: Please don't cry I do anything you want!

KM: Anything?_ tears stop_ Then be my personal pillow

Mada: _grumbles _Fine

KM. YAY

Kai: _sighs_ KM does NOT own Naruto!

KM: BUT I own this youthful story my youthful friends!

_**Chapter 10**_

It was now the next day and no body had seen Itachi or Naruto the previous day. Zetsu, Kisame, Konan, Pein, Kakuzu, Hidan and Sasori were sitting at the table eating their breakfast. Pein and Kakuzu had pancakes while Zetsu had raw meat. Kisame had a miso soup and Konan and Hidan had cereal. Sasori had some eggs. All wondered why Kakuzu ate the pancakes he was well known under them as the cheap bastard. Though why the change? They all starred at him like he had a second head. Kakuzu starred back at them and as if he knew what they thought he answered them.

"Because we have enough money to buy the whole fire country and that is thanks to the runt" he said grumpy and continued to eat. The others starred blankly at him and blinked. They then heard how the door to the living-room opened and then a loud girly scream.

"_**ARGH MY CLAY!?**_" yep Deidara was back. Pein sighed and here goes the quietness. It was so peaceful when Deidara was in this state. Now it was all over. He stood up and went to open the door and what he saw let him twitch uncontrollable. Konan wondered why Pein didn't move through the door way and went over to him. But when she saw why he didn't move she too froze up and was now a statue. Now that brought every ones attention to them. What could be there to let them both froze up like that? It gave only way to find out.

Hidan was the first there and let the thought out that was in every ones mind when they saw what **it** was.

"WHAT THE HOLY FART?!" That got Deidara's attention who had hugged his precious `clay´. The clay was now only mud and looked like some kid had played with it. The mud was every where and Deidara was standing in the middle of it. In the door to the hall stand Naruto with Itachi who had his arms around Naruto's waist and leaned his chin on Naruto's shoulder. He smirked at the way Deidara was acting.

Sasori saw that Deidara was back to normal and nodded to Naruto's direction. Naruto nodded back and laughed when he saw that Sasori swung Deidara over his shoulder and went in their direction. They moved out of the way well Naruto dragged Itachi out of the way and saw Sasori going to his room. Or so he assumes.

"What was that now?" asked a confused Itachi who had a blank look in his face. To his surprise Tobi answered him.

"Tobi thinks that Sasori-sempai has something for Deidara-sempai! Tobi is a good boy!" he said with an eye smile. "Isn't it so Naruto-sempai?" they all jumped in the air because of Tobi who had mysterious appeared behind them. Naruto laughed at their faces and Itachi just starred at them.

"Yup it is Tobi. Why do you guys think Sasori asked me all the time when Deidara's getting back?" he asked them. He showed his amusement in his eyes and made his way to the kitchen and ate the rest of the pancakes. Itachi was still standing in the living-room and said the one thing that let the other fell over anime style.

"I will not clear this mess same goes for Naru-chan" he said calmly and went into the kitchen. When they got back on their feet only one thing went through all their minds well except Tobi he knew why. `Naru-chan´ they all asked themselves what had they missed? But they got no answer and went to finish their breakfast. Tobi went into the kitchen for his cookies and sat on the counter with his precious cookies and glared at every one who dared to come to near him and his cookies.

That was the only thing true about the Tobi act from Madara. He really loves cookies and would bit anyone who tries to take them away from him. Hidan had to learn it the hard way. He still has the bite to prove it on his butt. Why the butt? To teach him not sit on Tobi's well Madara's cookies ever again.

With Deidara and Sasori

Sasori was in his room and went directly to his bathroom. He still wondered how every one could get the same room. In size and with the extras. He shrugged it of and closed the door with his foot. Deidara was so confused that he didn't even tried to struggled against Sasori. The only thing he remembered was that he was in the forest alone with Naruto and then everything went black. It seemed as if his subconscious tries to protect him from something evil. Oh if only he knew.

"uh Danna?" asked Deidara as he finally noticed that he was in the bathroom of Sasori and sitting naked in the bath tube. He grew nice shade of red then. Sasori smirked. When Deidara was this shade of red when only he was naked what shade would it be with him naked? Such a difficult question and only one answer. Means off with the clothes Sasori. (AN Sasori will be human and not be a puppet in this FF. The high and mighty KM has spoken) Well and that he did.

"Uh Sasori-danna why uh are you undressing un?" he gulped and saw in the other direction of the room. But unfortunate or fortunate, it's only the way you're looking at it, there was a mirror and showed Sasori in all his naked glory.

"Because I'm taking a bath with you." he stated flatly and Deidara fell over anime style with a big sweat drop on the back of his head. Sasori saw this and sighed. He choose to ignore it and let the water flow in the bath tube. He first let it be cold only to see Deidara jump out of the tube and glare at him. He grinned and then adjust the water to a nice warmth.

"But why are coming with me un?" he whined. Secretly he wanted it to happen but he had to put an act up. Besides he knew from Naruto that the feeling was mutual. He saw that Sasori didn't answer him and took him and placed him the now warm water. He blinked when the hell got Sasori behind him? "EH Danna un?" he asked but got no answer instead he heard how someone sat behind him in the water.

Sasori had stopped the water when he noticed it was an acceptable warmth and sat behind the still in thought blond. "Because Deidara when I would let you alone you would drown yourself without even trying!" he said bluntly. Deidara got a twitch in his eye and turned around to face Sasori only to see him smirk at him.

"Why is that un?" he greeted out through his clenched teeth.

"Your mind is absent and you look most of the time like a mindless puppet. And trust me I know everything about puppets!" he said with hidden laughter in his voice. Deidara could slap himself and then Sasori but choose to turn around and face the nice white wall instead. It was better then Sasori and who knew what he would do to the puppeteer. He was there nice and wet dripping. Hair sticking to his skull because of the hot steam. The water on his pale skin and the way his muscles tighten when he moved. `_Woha stop right there Deidara_´ but the images came back to him with full force and with a new level. He went a nice shade of red and slapped himself. `_Bad Deidara very bad Deidara! Get a hold on yourself and stop the images_´ he thought angrily.

Sasori looked at Deidara like he had lost it what he probably had after that slap. Sasori sighed and let his eyes travel up and down Deidara's body. No that there is much to see. It was only his torso and the back side that is. But a really good looking back side when he said so himself. He saw that Deidara's hair stuck to him completely and that didn't allow him to see Deidara that good. It hides the best things from him. He cursed under his breath. He should tell Deidara to cut his hair before they took a bath together the next time. Sasori knew that Deidara had the same feelings as him thanks to the blond kitsune. He sighed and did the only thing he always wanted to do. Hopefully it wouldn't backfire on him.

Deidara felt how someone circled their arms around his waist and leaned onto him. He shuddered because he knew exactly who it was. Well that was not that difficult when there are only two persons on the room. He gulped when he felt how Sasori blew into his ear and his hands wandered down south. He turned around only to be met with lips. His eyes widened but then closed and gave into the kiss. He felt how Sasori licked his bottom lip and let him in.

Sasori was delighted when Deidara opened his mouth and let him in his wet cavern. He slipped his tongue in and tasted him while his hands travelled again south and grabbed Deidara's half hardened cock and stoke it. Deidara moaned into the kiss and burrowed his hands in Sasori's hair. He felt how Sasori's finger pushed a bit at his entrance and then slid in. He broke the kiss and whined at the feeling. Sasori soothed him and told him to relax. He forced his body to do so and felt how Sasori press butterfly kisses along his neck.

Sasori groaned at the feeling of the tightness from Deidara and had to control himself to not ram himself into that ass. He added a second finger and began to stretch Deidara who moaned at the feeling. That urged Sasori only on and didn't help his cock in the slightest thanks to the noises of Deidara. He added the third and last finger and then moved them around. Deidara moaned to the new feeling and began to rock his hips when Sasori hit that special spot.

Sasori smirked and withdrew his fingers and chuckled when he heard Deidara whimper in disappointment. "Oh hush Deidara! Try to relax that might hurt" he said and spread Deidara's leg apart and seated himself between them. He slowly slipped into Deidara and stopped when he was fully sheathed himself and waited for Deidara to adjust. After a few moments Deidara said the magic word.

"Move" he grunted out and that was what he did. First at a slowly pace and then faster. Deidara moaned and arched under him. It was nice to hear his name moaned like this. Sasori bent down and kissed Deidara who had taken his hands to pump himself. Sasori was to buys to keep him on the surface to do so. But nonetheless it was heaven for him. He felt how the pleasure built up in him and that he would soon climax. Not after a few thrust later from Sasori he came and screamed out his name.

"SASORI?!" that screamed was heard through the whole base and Kakuzu fell down from his chair where he sat to count his money. Pein and Konan stopped their paperwork and blinked in the direction of the scream. Kisame, Tobi, Itachi and Naruto stopped their game of Go Fish and starred blankly in the direction of Sasori's room.

"About damn time they had sex!" exclaimed Naruto. The others nodded and continued to play the game.

Hidan had stopped his ritual and cursed Sasori and Deidara for doing though. Who would have thought that Deidara was screamer. Back with the two. Sasori just grunted Deidara's name and came inside him. They both breathed hard and took several minutes till they had their strength regenerate. Sasori pulled out of Deidara and looked him in the eyes and said the words that let Deidara stare at him.

"I love you Deidara!" Deidara threw himself at his Danna and kissed him deeply.

"I love you too Danna un!" he said happily. Sasori bent down and kissed him again and then said something that completely destroyed the mood.

"We should clean ouselves now" Deidara twitched at that and slapped Sasori on the back side of his head.

"Great going un! Now you have destroyed the mood Danna un!" huffed Deidara but cleaned himself and smiled when he heard Sasori chuckle.

In Konohagakure

Hinata was walking to Ichirakus Ramen Bar to meet with the others of the Rookie 7. They did that since Naruto had left them one year ago. Hinata was dating Kiba now. She had accepted it after he had taken all his courage and asked her out. Her father had approved of it too. They were dating now three month. She had given up on Naruto after he had told her about his sexual preference. It was hard for her to take in but she knew he hadn't planned to hurt her with it. It is after all Naruto.

Kiba was walking next to her with Akamaru at his side. Their appearance hadn't changed at all. They both had grown in strength and in height. They still wore the same clothes when they were genin. Hinata also had stopped her stuttering and was now more confident thanks to Kiba. They all hadn't changed much. Sure they had all grown in strength and height but they were still the same in character.

Konoha wasn't the same anymore after Naruto had left and you could see and feel it. Every one is down and isn't laughing as much anymore. But that was only because Naruto wasn't there though they could laugh ABOUT him and NOT WITH him. He has some nice friends there. Nice friends indeed. They had heard about the alliance thing and why it had happened. It was also the same reason Tsunade had left but they all could careless.

Jiraiya had left the village after he was released from the hospital. No body had heard from him till then. It was sad of what Konoha had become. The Uchiha had come back after he had heard about it and was immediately the new Hokage. Just because he had told them about Orochimaru's `plans´. But this plans didn't exist but they didn't need to know that little fact. As long as he could come back without a punishment. Konoha was falling and hard at that. Every one could feel it but they all try their best to help her. To get her old glory back. It was working after the Rokudaime -choughcoughsas-UKEchoughcough- had find some idiots for them.

They only use them but didn't notice how their allies use THEM. Just as they had done with Naruto. Ha and here I thought they had some brain. Anyways what Konoha didn't know was that their new allies were on the same side as Gaara. Means they love Naruto and hope to destroy Konoha from the inside. The sad thing is that Konoha didn't notice it. You could cry because of that. But Konoha would get her comeback in the near future but not as they all thought it would be. Sure it will get her glory back but not with the help of them. No from someone they all knew. Konoha could all feel that and hoped that this would happen soon in the near future.

But we want to know what the Rookie 7 want to discuss at Ichirakus Ramen Bar. When Hinata and Kiba arrived they were greeted with smiles from the others. Ten-ten and Neji were sitting next to each other. The same goes for Rock Lee and Sakura and Chouji and Ino. It was well known that those three pairs were dating especially when Rock Lee shouted it to the whole village. Shikamaru just muttered under his breath a troublesome as greeting and went back to sleep. The others sweat dropped to that. Same old Shikamaru who will never change.

"SO guys you heard about our allies?" said Kiba as he seated himself down next to the sleeping Shikamaru. Hinata took the seat next to him and order for the both of them miso ramen and then listened to the others.

"...and the sad thing is that Gaara had left. He was one of our greatest allies and the strongest one. But thanks to Sasuke we have some of our old strength back. Hopefully that will hold on" explained Shino. They all starred at him. It was the first time that they all heard him talk that much. Hinata blinked and didn't understand it at the first but could grab it when she heard the rest of it. They starred at him and he raised an eyebrow not that you could see it. "What?" he asked them annoyed of the starring.

"That was the most you have talked to us Shino" said a flabbergast Neji.

"He is right. But I think you are right about that Shino" agreed Ten-ten.

"Yosh Shino your youthfulness shines brightly! I sh..." but Lee was quiet after his head had a meeting with Sakura's fist. She sighed.

"I still have a hard way to go to get him away fro this youthful shit!" she exclaimed and banged her head against the counter. The other laughed at her misfortune and the way Lee was twitching on the ground. It went like this the whole morning or lunch or whatever time it is. They didn't got any progress in the matter. After three hours of talking nothingness they all broke up and went to do their usual chores.

Otogakure Orochimaru's office

Orochimaru cursed under his breath. That little filthy Uchiha brat had betrayed him and left in the middle of the night. He couldn't believe it. He had everything planned out but now it was gone. Everything. His new body and the sharingan. But that was not important now. He had found a new way to be immortal but the sharingan was now gone. He had only needed some cells from the Uchiha and then he could place it in himself. But no the rat fled back to his oh so lovely Konohagakure. How he loathed that village after everything he had done for it and gotten nothing back.

He smirked when he thought about the situation Konoha was in. It wasn't a good one he knew that and that was all thanks to Naruto. He knew why Konoha was that strong. It was because of the Kyuubi host. `_Mhmm maybe I should thank him? But how?_´ he thought then it hit him and he smirked. Yes that would be a good present. But first.

"KABUTO" and through magic there he stood. Kabuto bowed in front of Orochimaru and asked him what he wanted.

"You wanted to see me Lord Fruity-chan?" Orochimaru twitched when Kabuto called him that awful name.

"What did you call me Kabuto?" he asked calmly. Too calm in Kabuto's opinion. He gulped and replayed to him.

"Ehrm Lord Fruity-chan? But it isn't my fault!" Orochimaru raised an eyebrow at that. Kabuto understood the silent question and took a deep breath and then spoke. "Well it is all KM's fault she is the authoress and let me say it" so NOT true. He is a liar. Orochimaru starred at him like Kabuto would wear a pink fluffy tutu and dancing the dying swan.

"Kabuto you lost it" he said bluntly to him with a straight face. "Go take a vacation" with that he turned on his heels and left Kabuto to stare at his retiring back. Kabuto was left behind crying his eyes out. `_Why does he not believe me_´ he silently sobbed and crawled back to his room. He didn't have the strength to stand up after this. Poor guy... not.

With Jiraiya

Jiraiya was currently at a hot spring and doing his research. But sadly he was discovered when he giggled. Behind him were over fifty women with a deadly aura and ready to kill the peeping tom. He gulped when he felt them behind him and the last thing you heard from him was.

"The pain was it worth!" and then the beating began. Why does that not surprise me at all? His scream filled the air and every man in his radius shuddered when they heard his screams. They looked pitiful in his direction and then went on with their lives. Hey they loved their lives thank you very much. Also they will miss the Icha Icha Paradise books. But how they knew him. He will through this.

With Madara

He was currently back in his room and thought what he should do next. But he was interrupted as Naruto slammed his door open and scared the living shit outta him. He saw how Naruto looked around and then dived under his bed. Not a minute later after Naruto `vanished´ Kisame stormed in and looked for him. Madara blinked when he saw Kisame. Kisame was from head to toe pink and fish was hanging off of him. It also seemed that he wore make up but he wasn't so sure about that fact. After Kisame looked around and couldn't find Naruto he left.

Madara wondered now how they didn't noticed him sit- "Is he gone?" he heard Naruto asking him. Well stretch that only Kisame.

"Yes" he answered and looked to his left side were Naruto crawled out and went to the door and slammed it shut. He chuckled when he heard the loud bang he came to love. He looked at Madara and said

"What?" with an innocent look. Madara snorted at that look. Naruto was far from innocent. Naruto took his time to study the person on the bed. He was male that was clear. He has black spiky hair and onyx eyes. Maybe a shade darker than Iatchi's. He wore black ANBU pants and a black shirt. Madara was glad that he had a second room for himself that was in black and red. "So what's your name?" he asked casually and sat next to him on his bed. Well he hopped on it.

"Madara, Uchiha Madara" he said Naruto raised an eyebrow at that. Madara thought he would asked the standard question. `Really Uchiha? You are an Uchiha?´ that was the question that always came when he gave his real name. But when this question came he fell over.

"Are you stuck up like Sas-UKE?" Naruto asked innocently and sweat dropped when Madara fell off of the bed. "Erhm Are you OK?"

He groaned and slowly lifted himself up and replayed "Yes I am ok and no I am NOT stuck up like this Uke guy!" he said to Naruto who laughed when he spoke Sas-UKE's name. He looked at Naruto like he lost it. Which he probably had and already knew after the pranks he had seen and pulled on Kisame.

"Well then see ya" said Naruto with a wave of his hand and again slammed the door open. "MAN I LOVE IT TO SLAM DOORS OPEN AND CLOSE!?" Naruto all but yelled into the hall. Then walked off to find his mate and let the door open. Madara blinked and stood up to close the door. Maybe a nap will help him to find something to do. He shrugged and locked his door. Who knows who will slam his poor door then open? Better safe than sorry. He then lay down on his bed and let sleep calm him. After a few minutes you could hear him snore.

KM: Heheh bathroom sex _giggles _

Mada: _shakes head_ You need help

KM: Do not. Besides you love my perverted side!

Kyuu: _comes in_ That is true! And don't deny it!

KM: Where were you?

Kyuu: Taught the Uchiha to not make Naruto cry

KM: OHh

Kai: You should really rest now KM. I see that you have pain again. Yes and you can continue to write

KM: _huffs _FINE

Mada: Please R&R!

KM:_ uses Madara as pillow_ Ja-ne!?


	11. Chapter 11

KM: HEYA new chapter I think that is number eleven

Mada: Yes it is

Kai: be careful or we have Madara watch over you?!  
KM: HA you can't threaten me

Kyuu: Why?

Ita: She is the authoress

KM: _smirks _That's right. _snuggles Madara_ Naru please do the disclaimer!

Naru: Hai. _clears throat_ KM does NOT own Naruto

KM: BUT I own this youthful story my youthful friends!

_**Chapter 11**_

It was now weeks after Naruto's and Itachi's mating. We find the two of them in their rooms getting ready for their mission in Sunagakure. It was morning and not even past five am. Naruto was happy. He could visit his Baa-chan and Aniki A.K.A Panda-chan. Naruto smirked and went to take a shower. After an hour and a half later he came out with only towel around his waist. He was surprised when he saw Itachi sitting on his bed and ready to leave. Hello he needs some time to get ready.

He looked at Itachi and saw that he wore black pants with a silver dragon wrapped around his left leg. He had at his right leg his kunai holster and at his right hip also his shuriken pouch. He wore black sandals. Naruto let his eyes travel upwards and saw that Itachi wore a white and red shirt. On the shirt was a black raven with his wings spanned. His cloak was laying next to him. Naruto saw how Itachi looked at him and blushed at the intense stare. Itachi smirked when he saw his little kitsune blush because of him.

"You should getting dressed Naru-chan" he said still with the smirk in his face and amusement clearly shown in his face. Naruto blushed a darker red then the previous one and hurried to his closet. He took some pants, a vest and shirt. He threw his towel at Itachi and laughed when it hit his head. Now Itachi couldn't see the little kitsune and Naruto dressed up with a new record. Just as he took Naruto's towel off was Naruto finished. When Itachi looked at Naruto and saw that he was finished he glared at him.

"Not nice Naruto. Not nice" he said with a pout that let Naruto burst out laughing.

"Did you just pout" he chocked out between his laughter Itachi twitched at that and gave Naruto a glare that let him shut up. But not because he was afraid. Hell no he knew what Itachi would do to get him to shut up. "Alright, alright I get it geeze. Don't twist your panties" Itachi twitched again to that but choose to ignore this comment. He knew a way to pay him back. He smirked and Naruto got that feeling he should run from Itachi as far away as possible. Or as much away as he got till Itachi would catch him anyways. Though it doesn't matter.

Naruto went over to his table and got his cloak that lazily hang over a chair. Itachi took the time to see what his mate was wearing. Naruto was wearing some blue trousers with a fire red fox on his left leg and a white wolf on his right leg. His kunai holster was on his right leg and his kunai pouch was on his left hip. He wore a forest green shirt and a blue white vest. He wore the standard shinobi sandals though they were blue. As Naruto slipped his cloak on he turned to Itachi who looked ready to pounce him any moment.

"Erhm Itachi?" he said and went over to him and waved a hand in front of his face. Naruto had his cloak on and was standing and waiting impatient in front of Itachi who was still in La-La-land. He sighed there gave it only one way to do with him. He smirked and leaned into Itachi who was still dazed. Naruto had his mouth next to Itachi's ear and blew in it, moaned and said in a husky voice "Itachi when you don't move right now I have to come alone"

He saw how Itachi shuddered and smirked. Ah the ways to get Itachi moving. Said raven looked at Naruto who was now again in front of him and smiled innocently at him. He blinked perhaps he had just imagined it. Naruto laughed at the expression of Itachi and took his hand.

"Come on we have to leave now" he said with laughter and lead him out of the base. Itachi grunted and followed him like a good little puppy. The base was quiet and no body was up. That surprised Naruto because he knew that Tobi was always up to that time. Why he didn't knew and it hadn't really interested him back then. But now it urged him. That was so un-Tobi like. Maybe he was sick. It wouldn't surprise after he saw him yesterday soak wet till the bones.

They reach the exit and went out but checked if someone was out there to follow them. Hey they have enemies wouldn't it be logical to do though? Anyways as they were sure that no body was there they left the the base and went in the direction of Suna. The base was in a genjutsu that let it look like the area around it where it's standing. They set off in the trees and jumped and jumped and run and then jumped again. Man that's boring. Though we go to our loveabled PANDA-CHAN!

With Panda-chan erhm I mean Gaara

Gaara was currently resting at his home and re-reading Naruto's last letter. Well it was much to take in when he thought about. He hadn't written the last few weeks and had now gotten the update from him. He chuckled when he remembered the red faces of Tsunade and Temari when he read the letter out loud to them and then came to the point where Naruto wrote about him and Itachi being mates and but let the part about the forest sex out. Naruto didn't want them to know how and where it happened. He still has his dignity left also the forest animals had seen him doing it. But that didn't help him against Temari's fantasies.

Temari had a nosebleed and when she had imagined how he and Itachi were doint `it´ and Tsunade had questioned her about the nosebleed. Just to get one too after Temari told her about her fantasy between the two. They were both out cold laying on the floor of his office. He shook his head at the memory and to think that this only happened two days ago. He knew that Naruto would come to his village in a few days. In his letter he said that he would start the mission a few days after the letter had arrived.

He sighed maybe he should go look after Tsunade and Temari in the hospital. He felt sympathy for Itachi and Naruto. Why? Because Tsunade and Temari had founded an ItaNaru Fan club and every women is a member of the said club. With that I mean every women in Suna and their allies. Gaara knew that the both of them would not have one minute peace. But the sad thing is he couldn't warn them. He knew that it would be getting now more livelier when the two arrive.

`_Oh joy. I can't wait for them_´ he thought. You could clearly feel his love for the two. He could already feel the headache coming and the two aren't even there yet. Yep that was a good sign for him. He sighed and left his house. As he wandered the streets of Suna he saw a banner that said `ItaNaru Fan club meeting´. He shuddered. And continued on his way to the hospital. He reached it in a few minutes and went to the front desk and asked where Tsunade and Temari were stationed.

"Excuse me miss? But could you tell me where Temari and Tsunade's room are?" he asked polite. The female behind the front desk looked up when Gaara spoke to her and bowed her a little.

"Of course Kazekage-sama" she replayed and looked through some files. "They are on the second floor room 241b" Gaara nodded his thanks to her and made his way to them. He began to think how to stop them. He can't let them be harassed. They both were here in Suna for a mission and to catch up with him. Well Naruto would catch up and Itachi would something other to do then. He smirked. Yes he would. He would then have to search for a way out of Suna and not be ambushed by them. It should be something funny. In his opinion at least.

He reached the room of Tsunade and Temari and sweat dropped when he heard them planning about the things they could do with the couple. Yes the two could need any help they get. The worse part is that those two are the presidents and founder of the ItaNaru club. The two would not have it easy here. He opened the door and stepped in. To his surprise or not the two still hadn't noticed him and he didn't even try to hide his presence from them. There you see how important it is to them. Can't even sense him and those two are shinobis? Even a genin would have sensed him! Well maybe not a genin but a chunin.

He cleared his throat as he stand beside them and saw how they jumped a few feet in the air. Temari had her hand above her heart and glared at Gaara who chuckled at them and their behaviour. "You two should be more open to your surroundings. I mean you two ARE ninjas" scolded the Kazekage with a hidden smirk. Temari huffed and turned around. Tsunade shook her head and chuckled.

"You know Temari he IS right" said an amused Tsunade. Temari just glared at the wall and mumbled something about evil Otoutos and the likes. "So why are you here Gaara?" asked Tsunade as she turned to him. All the while they didn't notice how Tsunade had somehow gotten a bottle of the sake in her hands. She grinned and was happy to be with her saiai again. She had began to call the sake it when no ones around. She took the bottle to her mouth and gulped a good amount of it.

Gaara and Temari didn't notice it and held now a starring contest. Tsunade watched them and began to comment it in her head.

`_AH here goes the famous Sabaku No Gaara death glare_´ Temari flinched a bit at that but didn't backed down. She just send her own glare at him. Tsunade chuckled and took a next gulp of her sake and ate chips? Where the hell got she chips from? She is in a freaking hospital. The sake I get. She always has her ways to get some but the chips. Seriously.

`_Oh Temari had to back down to that but nonetheless send her own glare. It seems that Gaara isn't faced of it and smirked at her_´ Temari gulped and her eyes widened at the smirked. It was never a good sign when he smirked. It only means two things. 1 someone is going to die and the second one she didn't want to think of. Only one word torture. Tsunade smiled and took a handful of chips and continued to watched them. `_Mhmm Gaara is smirking and it seems Temari doesn't like it one bit_´ she smirked.

`_Oh Temari took a step back and is trembling. It seems the match will be over in a few minutes_´ she laughed but that didn't seem to interest the two. Gaara's smirked widened and Temari broke down. She couldn't stand it anymore. Gaara and his smirking gave her the rest. `_And we have a winner SABAKU NO GAARA!?´ _cheered Tsunade in her mind and drank the rest of her sake. _`Temari hadn't a chance against him in the beginning. Well what now?_´ she asked herself. She and Temari would still be in the hospitals for two more days.

"My work here is done I am leaving" said Gaara still with the smirk firm on his face. That actually scared the shit out of Tsunade. Temari as still on the floor and mumbled something about evil and scary Otoutos and their smirks and how they shouldn't do this to their Onee-chans. That brought a smile to Tsunade's face. Maybe it wouldn't get that boring in here when Gaara and Temari had their little fights from time to time he visit them. In fact she couldn't wait for the next one to come. The rest of the day was uneventful.

Well not really Tsuande had somehow managed to set the hospital on fire and Temari had gotten Kankuro to cross dress. How she got him to do it the world may never know. And I think that would be better or you could get some serious mental trauma. Gaara had nearly Sabaku Sousou-ed Kankuro because of it. Scared the hell out of him to see his own brother in a dress. After that Gaara had somehow let the Kazekage tower explode while he glared at the wretched paperwork. That somehow had set it on fire and then explode when some drunk had spilled his sake over it. How the drunk got in the tower was still a mystery to Gaara. But he had shrugged it of. It only meant to him no paperwork.

It was really an uneventful day. But that aside. Naruto and Itachi had the same day as them. Maybe with less cross dressing but nonetheless the same. OK and the jumping from tree to tree thing and Fan girls attacks. Yes they were ItaNaru Fan girls who had seen them while the two crossed the desert. Poor guys. Hadn't a chance against them. They had ambushed them when they had taken a break in shadow area. But what surprised Naruto was that the cloaks kept them cold and not let them be fried by the sun. He had asked Itachi about that who only shrugged and meant that no body really knew why the cloak did that. Hell he didn't even knew it could that till then.

THE NEXT DAY SUNA

Gaara was already back in his office that mysteriously was back and didn't even had one burn mark. But what had surprised him the most was that the paperwork from yesterday was there too. And without a scratch even. He banged his head against his desk. Here he thought he had fled the wretch thing. He glared at it and it looked innocently back. He blinked. `_Did it just look innocently at me?_´he asked himself and doubted his sanity after that. He glared harder at it but with each passing second it seemed to grow. He shook his head. Something like this is impossible right? Right? I mean it is just some paper. It can't do something like that. But he was proved wrong when it did grow and stuck his tongue out to him.

`_It did not just stuck it's ugly tongue out to me?_´ he thought with a twitch in his eye and a vein appear on his temple.

**It did** said Shukaku who also doubted his own sanity now after he had seen that stunt through Gaara's eyes. OK the sanity that was still left. Although it wasn't much to the begin with. **But how the holy hell did it do that?**

`_I don't know Shukaku but know this. It will not win this war!_´ exclaimed Gaara. Shukaku thought that his host had lost it now completely and no thanks to him. That screamed war. He did the only thing he could do now to help Gaara. He cheered him on.

**Go Gaara! Let the wretch thing suffer!** Gaara didn't even notice how Shukaku cheered him on. And when he did he didn't gave it a second thought about it. If he would then he would question him about it and that would then lead to an all out war of starring that Gaara probably would win in the end. Well that comes with years of practice. Shukaku would then go in the back of his mind and sulk, cry and hug himself. In short the usual.

**Show the ugly thing who the boss is!** Gaara just did his work and listen to Shukaku and his oh so helpful words.

Tsunade and Temari somehow had convicted the hospital to release them. Maybe it has something to do with the fire or the cross dressing Kankuro running around. No body was sure about that. But Tsunade and Temari could careless. They are free and that is what count for them. Besides Naruto and Itachi could arrive any minute now. Who would want to miss the two? Those two and the fan club wouldn't miss that chance. That was sure.

"Do you think they will arrive today?" asked Temari as she and Tsunade made their way to the gate. Tsunade nodded and stopped and looked Temari in the eyes before she replayed.

"Of course they will! I am sure of it and swear it on Jiraiya and his perverseness!" she said with a raised hand. Temari nodded to that only. She couldn't say something to that. Besides it was well known how a pervert Jiraiya was, is and will ever be. You could nothing say against it and the oath of Tsunade. "Besides I think they will arrive any minute by now. So shall we speed up?"

Temari nodded and took off to the roofs with Tsunade high in her heels. They arrived at the gates of Suna under ten minutes and looked in the distance and find two figures on their way to them. Tsunade smirked when she saw it was two persons in a Akatsuki cloaks. Temari was looking at them like they would be enemies to them. Maybe it was the fact that she didn't know what the Akatsuki wore.

"It's them" said Tsunade to ease Temari. She looked at her with a questioning look. That screamed explain. "Well you see the Akatsuki are wearing black cloaks with red clouds on them. They also wear straw hats with a bell on the side. Every member wears also a ring. But don't ask me what's standing on them. I don't know that" she said as she saw how Temari would ask about them. That shut her up and though they waited till the two cloaked figures arrived in front of them.

Itachi and Naruto sighed when they saw the thing they had thought they wouldn't. Fan girls. Lots and lots of fan girls. How they could see them. Well they had discovered a sense for that and because they had heard how their `attackers´ talked about it. When they reached the gates Naruto saw how Tsunade and Temari were waiting for them but he didn't like the look the two were giving him and Itachi. It was just like they had something planned for them. Something they wouldn't like.

"Ne Ita-kun?"

"Hn?"

"Do you think we can abandoned the mission?"

"Hn why?" asked Itachi and raised a fine brow to that.

"Well I don't like the way Tsunade-baa-chan and Temari-nee-chan are looking at us" he whispered to Itachi in hopes they didn't hear him. He shuddered at the thought what they could do to them and would probably do. Itachi looked at Naruto then to Tsunade and Temari. He saw how the two eyed them and didn't like it one bit.

"Perhaps we can avoid them" he suggested. Naruto gave him a look that said `Hello-those-two-will-find-us-everywhere!´. He hold his hands up and sweat dropped at the look Naruto gave him. "I get it what you mean. And I don't think we can abandoned the mission. Sorry Naru-chan" he said with an apologizing look.

Naruto just sighed and was getting ready for whatever was to come for them. As they reached the gate the two didn't have the chance to greet Tsunade or Temari. Because before the could do that they were whisked away by them and blindfolded. They heard how Tsunade and Temari and giggled and feared to worse thing to happen to them. Oh how right they were. They brought the two to the meeting of the fan club. It was a 30 minutes way to the building where the meeting took place.

As they reached it the blindfolds left their eyes and they blinked. It was flashy and it took a good time till they had their focus back. But when they could see they wished they couldn't. Standing in front of them was their worse nightmare. Or in short Yaoi fan girls. They looked around and saw that they were surrounded by them. Naruto sighed and saw at Itachi silently asking if he had an idea for an escape plan. Itachi saw the way Naruto was looking at him and sighed. He knew that it wouldn't be easy to escape them but they had to try. But he didn't thought about the way fan girls could get what they want.

The girls were grinning and giggling under themselves. Yes this would be fun for them and they could also get videos and photos of it. Now they only had to get the two to work with them. They all had an identical smirk in their faces. Those scared the shit out of Itachi and Naruto not that the former would admit it. But he had to say it was something that gave him a forbidden feeling. They turned away from their `hostages´ and were talking about what they can do to them.

Tsunade and Temari were grinning to themselves and had in the end the perfect plan to get what they wanted. Sure Itachi and Naruto wouldn't mind it now, would they? Tsunade cleared her throat and caught immediately every ones attention.

"Alright girls here is what we do!" she then gave them a sign to come nearer though the two wouldn't hear it and whispered them her and Temari's plan. Itachi and Naruto wouldn't know what hit them when they set the plan in motion.

Itachi and Naruto heard giggling and saw in the direction of the gaggle of fan girls. The women grinned in their direction and then left them alone. Itachi blinked a few times and starred blankly at the spot where the women had just stand a few minutes ago. Naruto had leaned closer into him and grabbed his arm.

"Itachi what is going on?" he whispered to him. Itachi sighed and wrapped an arm around Naruto.

"I don't know Naruto but it gives only one way out of here" he said to him. Naruto looked at him confused and tilted his head to the side. It really gave only one way out and Itachi was sure that they weren't in the condition to follow them after that. He smirked and leaned into Naruto.

"I-Itachi?" he asked weakly the older male and tried not to blush because of the closeness. He knew that those women were watching and didn't like it one bit. But he didn't get an answer from the raven who just took his chin and tilted his head up.

"Enjoy" said Itachi in a husky voice and that was the only answer Naruto would get. He then captured Naruto's lips with his own. Naruto melted into the kissed. He could hear the fan girls cooing about them but didn't give a damn. He knew it would work but he had to take it a step up. He broke the kiss and starred Naruto in the eyes and asked silently for permission. Naruto nodded and trusted Itachi in this.

Itachi started to undress Naruto and took first his cloak off of him. He pinned then his hands above the kitsune's head and then slid Naruto's shirt to his elbows and used it as a rope. He tied him up and then spread Naruto's leg open and seated himself between them. He looked at Naruto who was a now a nice shade of red and saw how proud his mating mark was standing on Naruto's junction. It looked like his Mangekyou Sharingan and had a ravens feather to it too. He smirked and attacked the kitsune's neck. Naruto mewled and when he felt how Itachi licked his mark and panted.

Itachi liked the sound of Naruto and his moans and travelled down to his nipples and sucked on the right while he rolled the other one in his fingers. Naruto was now flushed and breathing hard. He then heard loud thumps and looked up only to see their kidnappers out cold and with major nosebleeds. The ground was completely red. He smirked and kissed Naruto again while he undid the `rope´. Naruto was still flushed and breathing hard and tried to glare at Itachi who smiled smugly at his work. He slid his shirt down and took his cloak.

"You! Be happy that it worked when it hadn't then..." but he was cut of with kiss. He huffed and turned away. Itachi fight the urge to roll his eyes and went over to Tsunade who had the keys. He took them and opened for them the door to their Itachi saw how their target rounded a corner. It was a man in his thirties. He had spoken about their organization with some poeple who held a great hate against them. It was their mission to kill him.

"We should hurry with the mission koi. I think you can't visit Gaara now. Who knows how long they are still out" said Itachi who looked in the direction of their target. Naruto nodded and took of with Itachi beside him.

It was several minutes later that they found their target alone and took the chance. He was in an ally and it seems that he waited for someone. But he didn't know that he would never see the person he wanted to meet there. Not as long Naruto and Itachi had a say in it. It was a quick kill that Itachi did. Naruto was still angry at Itachi for the stunt. Itachi sighed. It means only two things for him and the first is no sex for him and the second he had to do some things to get Naruto to forgive him.

"Come on let us go" said Naruto who sliced the head off and sealed it away. He turned around and ran to the gate to be as far away as possible from those crazy women. Itachi was hot on his heels. he hoped they wouldn't run into _them_ again. But they had no such luck when they heard it. That it was a fan girl that spotted them and called for her friends. Naruto and Itachi speed up and ran through gate and in the direction of their base like there was not tomorrow. What it wouldn't probably give for them if they had been caught.

They reached the base in a new record. Naruto slammed the door open and closed it after Itachi was in and leaned against it breathing heavily like Itachi. It scared the shit out of the others who looked at them like they were aliens.

KM: Mhmm a good one _pats herself on her shoulder_

Mada: _mutters_ And they say _**I **_need help

Kai: _whistles_ That was harsh for them

KM: Nah they live through this

Naru: _stares blankly_

Ita: _waves hand in front of Naru's face_ Hello someone home?

Kyuu: I don't think so. Anyways Please R&R!


	12. Chapter 12

KM: Heya a new chapter and Madara where are my cookies?

Mada: Dunno? But I didn't eat them. I really don't have a death wish.

Kyuu: You are scary!  
KM: How so?

Ita: You are sleeping all the say long! How in the holy hell are you able to write the chapters?!

KM: _shrugs _And? Anyways do the disclaimer Naru-chan! I have to find the cookie thief!

Naru: _sighs_ KM does NOT own Naruto

KM: _from far VERY FAR away _BUT I own this youthful story my youthful friends! Enjoy!? HA FOUND YOU!? GET BACK HERE YOU THIEF!?_ chases cookie thief_

_**Chapter 12**_

"Wha.." but before Pein could ask flew him a scroll in the face. It left him with a nice mark in the face and the others tried to suppress their laughter.

"Here is the head and if someone asked for us we are NOT here!" said Naruto and raced with Itachi to his room.

"What in the holy fucking hell just happened?" asked Hidan the others who blinked as an answer. He starred at them and still got no answer. "Argh fuck of this shit" he left with these parting words.

Konan turned to Pein who still looked at the spot where Itachi and Naruto had stood just a few seconds ago. His face was blank and showed no sign of someone there. She wen to him and waved her hand in front of his face but still got no reaction from him. She shrugged and left the base. It was today her shopping day and she wouldn't let it be ruined by some men who plays statue.

Sasori and Deidara had stopped their fight about art for this moment but continued it anyways. It was just too important to know whom's art is better. But this time they didn't argued about it only, no they really fight about it. They fought about it with everything they got in their hands. The last thing they had used was the couch and the table. Kakuzu had after that chased the two through the whole base with bills. He even said that those two had pay the new stuff they would need after that fight. It seemed that this will come true.

Zetsu shook his head and went outside to do his job and look after his garden. Kisame just shrugged it off and went to do whatever he did before that. He went into the kitchen and came back with cookies. He brought Samehada with him and went in search of Tobi who had thought it would be funny to write on Samehada. It was still on it if you are wondering. Standing in bright neon pink on Samehada were the words: `I swear on the fish goddess that I will never in my entire life again eat fish. That I swear on my life as a shark!´

With Naruto, Itachi and... Tobi?

Naruto and Itachi were under Naruto's bed. Hopefully those fans wouldn't find them under it. Naruto had a death grip on Itachi's arm who winced at the strong hold. They thought it would be safe under the bed till they heard the knock on the door. Naruto jumped at that and burrowed his head in Itachi's arm. Itachi sighed and turned his body though he could hold Naruto in his arms. They heard how the door opened and then saw a face appear in front of them with an orange mask. Naruto punched the face and then registered that it was Tobi and laughed nervously. Itachi just shook his head while Tobi held his face? They came forward under the bed and looked at Tobi.

"I am so sorry Tobi! I thought you were one of those fan girls!" exclaimed Naruto who had rushed to his side and checked if he was OK.

"GOD damn blondie! You sure as hell can punch!" said a deep and smooth voice. Or short Madara. Itachi gave him a look that said `Idiot´. Naruto blinked and recognized the voice. His eyes were wide. Madara saw the wide eyes and the look and tried to play dumb. "EH Toby is a good boy?" but it came out as a question than a statement.

"No" said Naruto curtly and shut the door as he saw how `Tobi´ made his way to it. He stood in front of it and gave a glare "You two WILL tell me what is going on here! Or I well cast a genjutsu on you where Gai and Lee are hugging!" he threatened them.

They both shuddered and took a seat on the bed. They looked like some 5 years old who were caught by their parents when they did something forbidden, They had heard about Gai and Lee and their springtime of youth and their hugging with the that-that horrible genjutsu they use. Even the Kami and Shinigami themselves feared this- this whatever it is. They looked at each other and `Tobi´ took his mask off. Naruto starred blankly at him and then said

"You are the guy who can't sit on a bed probably!" Madara and Itachi fell over anime style. They execpted everything but not that. Naruto looked at them with a sweat drop "What?"

Itachi just shook his and laughed from the ground. Yes he could laugh and that means only one thing.

"OH MY GOD IT'S THE APOCALYPSE!? ITACHI IS LAUGHING!" exclaimed Madara and surprisingly Naruto. Also he had seen and hear him laugh. But it could still be foreign for them. It's not like he is laughing everyday. Itachi abruptly stopped his laughing and glared at them.

"Not funny, you two, not funny" he said calm and still glaring at them although halfheartedly to Naruto. Naruto just smiled to him and then turned to Madara. Madara just starred back and then sighed. To tell or not to tell that is here the question. He gave a glance at Itachi who's look said said tell him or you will be playing pranks on you. He knows to well what happened when Naruto played pranks on someone and it's not nice. Kisame had still some pink paint on him form the last one. "Tell him" Itachi finally said.

The two had regained their seats on the bed. Naruto looked between the two completely confused but then smirked when he had the perfect prank for those two. That smirked went not unnoticed by Madara and Itachi who gulped and hoped that it was not them who will face that prank he thought of.

"Well..." drawled Naruto and looked at them with a frown and narrowed eyes. "I am waiting" he tapped his foot on the ground to show his point and his annoyance.

"It's all his idea" said Itachi pointing to Madara all the while smirking at him. "Though he should tell"

Madara sweat dropped and had only one thought `_Traitor! That is how he's thanking me for training him!? I will get you back Itachi and then that smirked will be whipped off of your face_´ he grinned and glared at Itachi. Itachi suddenly had the feeling of dread and that he should run away from Madara as far away as possible.

"You know already my name. But you sure want to know the Tobi act" he stated more than asked. Naruto nodded and waited for him to continue. Madara took his clue and did though "You see I am well known because of the fight I had with Shodaime and I was supposed to die...." While Madara told his tail -which I will NOT type because it's well known and my fingers would hurt after some time- Naruto turned him out. He just made let the important things in his brain. Hell Kyuubi fell asleep after the first minutes and was snoring now.

After a few hours Madara was finished much to the relief of Naruto, Kyuubi and Itachi. Although Itachi knew it already he had never the patience to listen to it the first time. It was just to boring and a sleep drug. Madara knew that they didn't listen to him when he saw the relief on their faces that showed they were happy his story was over. He smirked. Only one way to pay them back.

"I hope you guys paid attention to my story or I will let those Fan girls get you!" he said in all to cheerful voice and grin on his face.

"You wouldn't" said Itachi sharply and glared in his direction. Madara just nodded and Naruto grinned. Woha stop Naruto grinned there is something so not right with that.

"Why are you grinning?" asked a wary Madara. He didn't trust this grin one bit. Nope not one bit and it seems to widened even more after he asked that.

"Oh nothing" replayed Naruto all to innocently and went to his bathroom. Madara and Itachi looked at each other confused. They still didn't believe him and Madara got the feeling he will not leave this room anytime soon. "Hey I have a plan" Naruto said with a too cheerful smile for their taste.

With Panda-chan, Shukaku and the... paperwork?

Gaara glared at the paperwork that seemed to mock him. But he was happy that he now had won against it. But that victory will not last for long because of the kidnapping Temari and Tsuande had done a new stack of paper came in. Gaara groaned when he saw the tower of paper hover above him. He could hear how it was laughing at him. He bashed his head against the desk and cursed Tsuande and Temari under his breath with each hit.

Shukaku became worried because of that. But he knew he would do the same if he were in Gaara's position. He shuddered at the thought. He sure as hell would have already snapped and destroyed everything that has something to do with paperwork. Or would have the word paper in it.

With Fruity-chan

Fruity-chan was currently in his room and thought about a way to give his thank you present to Naruto. He still didn't know where Naruto was and what exactly to do to get him. Maybe he should send Kabuto out. But he was on vacation because of the stress lately on him. Though he wouldn't do. So what to do, what to do? Such a hard question and no good answer. He thought but then it happened. Bunnies attacked him. Those little fluffy, cuddle things that are killing innocent little carrots. Sniff what have the carrots ever done to them?

Anyways those little buggers began to eat and bit him. Frutiy-chan ran around screaming his head off. And he is one of the Sannin? I seriously doubt that! Man he is pathetic when he is afraid of those cute little fluffy things. Alas it is he was running for his life. It seems that those things had a great hatred against him. Maybe it was the fact that he destroyed their home though he could built his base where they lived. While Fruity-chan is still running for his life he didn't notice how one of the rabbits went in his laboratory and deleted all of his researches. I like my life and the power I have over them now. Mwahahahhah -coughcough- haha-pantpant- damn need to practice more. Oh well while those lovely rabbits destroyed his base and chased him Kabuto had a great time the Caribbean.

Back with Naru-chan, Itachi and Madara

They didn't get it how Naruto got them to agree to this. They really don't. The only thing they was that they were one moment in Naruto's room and the next they are in the kitchen and searching for all the sweets in the base. Though far that had gotten a good amount of it already. They knew they need to check in the rooms of the other members and that is when Naruto would come in with his prank. They shuddered at the thought of it. What he had planned was not human. Not at all. It is gruesome and just plane mean. Well they couldn't find the right words to describe it.

Anyways they now had all the sweets of the kitchen and brought them to Naruto's room like planned and then moved on to the other rooms. They had split up now to work on more area and find it faster. Perhaps then they would be free from this prank. Itachi wondered how Naruto could come with that prank in only a few minutes when it others would take a week or a month to do though. He shrugged it's not like he wouldn't understand it but we are talking here about Naruto when did he ever made sense?

Madara came out of the meeting room when he heard the signal form Naruto that would show them to go and search in the rooms of the others. He still didn't get it how Naruto got him to agree and that bugged him. He saw how all the members rushed out of their rooms and ran to living-room where they heard a loud bang and curses. It's a shame he can't see it just because Naruto had bribed him into it. Perhaps he should search for a new job that is as far as possible away from Naruto.

With Naruto and the others in the living-room

Naruto was standing in the middle of the living-room and held something in his left hand that looked like a bomb. A really, really huge one at that. How was he even possible to hold it only in one hand? But that is not important now, no, what important now is what the hell has Naruto that bomb for? I mean it's not like there is something near to explode besides the base and the forest it is in. Whatever he wants with it should better be not have something to do with the base. Who knows what the others would do then. Besides the base is only two month back and now it should be destroyed again. Hell no! It was till now the best one they had and that shouldn't change now!

Anyways as the members entered the living-room and saw Naruto with the bomb two things happened. One would be the fearful expression of the others and two Deidara running to Naruto and looking at the bomb starry eyed and bowing low to Naruto. To that the rest sweat dropped including Naruto. Deidara starred lovingly at the bomb. Man who would have thought that would happen? Naruto certainly did not. But he should have thought about. I mean he is living together with a wannabe bomber. But that aside we all want to know why the hell does Naruto have a bomb?

"Naruto why the flying fuck do you have a bomb?" asked surprisingly Sasori. They starred at him bankly. Since when does Sasori swear? It seemed like he learned to swear under Hidan or Naruto when the latter is pissed about something. "What?" he asked annoyed.

"What are you talking about I don't have a bomb!" said Naruto to them and snapped them out of their thoughts when he did so.

"Yes you have!" said Pein and pointed to the bomb in his hand. "It's hardly to miss with this size!"

"Yeah un!" said Deidara "How did you do it?" he asked and the others fell over anime style and were twitching. Here they thought Deidara would be on their side and forgot about his love for bombs. But he again proved them wrong and how strong his love for them is.

"No I haven't. It's a bunny!" he exclaimed and true to his word there was now a bunny in his hands. "See?"

They couldn't believe it. How the freaking hell did Naruto do that? One moment he has a bomb in his hands and the next moment there is a bunny!? A freaking bloody bunny!?. Zetsu starred at the bunny hungrily and Kakuzu began to complain about the bills for the bunny and his food. In short the usual. When does he not complain about something that doesn't have to do with money? Never I say. Konan looked at the bunny and her hands began to twitch. She wanted to cuddle the sweet, fluffy thing like every women would. But she is a criminal and had to restrain her will against it. But then came the eyes. Oh those big, cute, watery eyes that clearly begged her to cuddle it.

Faster than the others could blink Konan had scooped the little bunny in her arms and began to stroke it and cuddle it. Zetsu still starred at the bunny hungrily which Konan noticed. She glared at him and went ever so slowly in his direction. Zetsu sensed the danger he was in and began to sweat bullets. All the while Naruto sat on the couch with popcorn in his hands and video camera out and filming this... act.

"Zetsu? Did you just stare hungrily at the little bunny?" asked Konan sweetly that scared the most of them shit less. Pein knew this tone and it meant only one thing: pain. Lots and lots of pain for Zetsu. He smirked it was good not to be the one who get to be in pain. Although it might be only for one time but it would be worth it. "Now Zestu though we get it clear go only one feet near the bunny and your loosing the thing that makes you a man, clear?"

All the males brought their hands to their groin in hopes to save it form the evil woman in front of them. Zetsu was whimpering now just of the sheer evilness that this petite woman emitted. No one wanted something like that happening to them. It was just gruesome and not right and other things. But that was their problem and not that of a woman. With satisfied grin on her face Konan left for the kitchen to find something to eat for the bunny.

While this all happened Madara and Itachi had removed all the sweets form the rooms of the others. The worse part was for them to get all those sweets in Naruto's room. That was not an easy task when you know where his room lay. It was hell! Itachi even thought he got hernia just because he had to heave those sweets. Believe me when I say when the weight a tonne. He then collapsed on the ground when Madara came in. Madara then too collapsed after he had delivered his tonne. Poor guys just had to have Naruto somehow got them to do his work.

Naruto had left the other Akatsukis to their distrusts and other things that you don't want to know. Anyways as he entered his room and saw how those two were laying on the ground he twitched. `_Those lazy old farts!_´ he thought. Itachi and Madara glared at Naruto who looked at them.

"What?"

"We heard that!" said Madara still glaring at the blond.

"What did yo hear?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"What you said about us old farts!" said Itachi.

Naruto starred blankly at them and cocked his head to the side thinking.

"Oh did I say that out loud?" he asked innocently "Well it's true. You guys are old and lazy!"

"Are not. Do you know how hard it is to get all those sweets in here?" asked Madara ticked.

"Of course I do! Why do you think I let you guys do it?"

They both groaned. Why oh why was it that Naruto got them so easily to do his work? They only remembered Naruto teary eyed and then them shouting yes. Who would have thought that the blond would use those eyes on them. No one could say no to them. It was just impossible. Even for Madara and Itachi it was a war to fight against those eyes. Had someone other than Naruto used those eyes on them then maybe they would have said no. But alas it wasn't someone other it was Naruto they didn't stand a chance against him. But what they wanted to know is what does Naruto wasn't with the sweets?

Naruto flopped down on his bed and starred at the celling. Madara starred the kitsune and hoped he wouldn't have to do more work. He was broken from just carrying those tonnes of sweet and Itachi didn't look better than him. That is something. They both could train for days but carrying sweets was an other thing. Itachi lay motionless on the floor and looked dead. Madara just couldn't hold it back and poked him. It was tempting. Here he lay and not able to move, so why not take this chance?

Itachi twitched when he felt how someone poked him. He knew exactly who it was. Why did he always got to know someone like Madara and Naruto? Well I could answer that but because I am an ass and the all powerful authoress, I say no. Anyways as he lay there and was being poked he didn't saw how Naruto got up and searched for something in his closet. He searched for his tapes for his camera. He knew he would need them for later.

"Ne Itachi?" asked Naruto after some time and when he was bothered by the quietness in the room. He heard a `hn´ and looked down to see Madara still poking Itachi. "You know he would stop when you would move rigth?"

"Yes I know but I don't have any strenght left after the whole bring the sweets in my room stunt from you. Do you know how much that weight?"

"No and I'm not interested in it the slightest. But anyways I need your help with this in a month please?"

"No" was the shot answer from Madara who had stopped poking Itachi and instead glared at Naruto. Itachi also glared at him. No way in hell would they do something again for him.

But they hadn't thought about the eyes from Naruto.

"Pwweeeassee?" he asked with big, wide and watery eyes. He let his bottom lip stuck out and it was quivering. Madara and Itachi inwardly cringed. How were they supposed to say no to that face. But it came better. Naruto let a tear escape on `accident´ and began to sniff and hiccup. That was the last straw and they gave in. No body could go against that. Not even Kyuubi and he is known was evil. It was just not fair.

They hadn't the slightest chance in the beginning. Naruto did a victory dance and jumped Itachi in the arms. He groaned of the impact of this attack but didn't complained about Naruto having in his arms. Madara looked at them and somehow had a camera in his hands. `_He I will be rich when I got those pictures on them_´ he thought and continued to film them.

KM: Mhmm nice _yawn_ and sleepy ZZzzzzz_ cuddles Madara_

Mada: _twitching_ Yes nice

Ita: She likes you why deny it?

Kyuu: Yeah you look cute together you know?

Naru: Uh-uhu anyways Please R&R!


	13. Chapter 13

KM: Yeah a new chapter!?  
Ita: How is this even possible with you?

Naru: Yeah you're sleeping all the day long!

Kyuu: How can you even write?

Kai: Are you even awake yet?

KM: _tears up_ So cruel _whimpers and cries_

Kyuu: _whimpers_ Great when Madara hears about that we are DEAD!?

Ita: I know though that is why we are not telling him.

Mada: _ comes in _Don't tell me what? _raises eyebrow_

KM: _tackles Madara and cries on him _

Naru: I have some business to attend to! See ya! _tries running away_

Mada: _grabs Naruto_ _and says in a deadly voice _You will tell me why she is crying blondie now!? _turns to readers _KM does NOT own Naruto but she owns this story she is writing. _turns to Kyuu,Naruto,Kai and Itachi with a deadly aura_

Kyuu,Naru,Kai,Ita: _hugging themselves and whimpering_ HEEEEEEELP US!? WE ARE TOO YOUNG TO DIE!?

_**Chapter 13**_

We now have the month of the month. The day of the day where Naruto will pull this prank with the help of Madara and Itachi in its last stage. Although they both don't want to they have to... or Naruto would cry and that would get Konan angry. This would then get Pein pissed and then Deidara, Sasori and Kakuzu. Hell even Hidan would get angry. Kisame and Zetsu would be last ones then. Why in this order?. That is easy explained. Konan because she always wanted a little brother/son and Naruto was just like that to her. Pein well Naruto was a good poker player and although he wouldn't admit it he loved Naruto like son.

Deidara and Sasori would be the overprotective brothers. Or in Deidara's case sister. Kakuzu because Naruto was the money in the Akatsuki and he loves money besides he saw the brat as his nephew. Hidan liked the way Naruto swore and let the shark A.K.A Kisame suffer. He saw the runt, how he has come to call him, as an annoying little brother. Zetsu was the same with Kakuzu but without the money part. He liked the brat because he was he and nothing more and nothing less. and Finally Kisame. He hated the gaki from the beginning but after he got to know him better, he couldn't hate him.

He learned about Naruto's childhood like all the other members had but what they had heard back then was something not even them would have done. The kid went through some serious shit and was still cheerful and a little sadist. But hey it's not like that surprised them. Who wouldn't be when they would grow up in such a hateful village? But nevertheless Kisame respected the gaki for this.

Now you see that they both were in serious shit if they had made Naruto cry. But even though Naruto and Itachi are mates and would have a little fight they all knew he would never make Naruto cry. But that was not important now what important is what Naruto, Itachi and Tobi were doing in the dinner room with the sweets and... water? The sweets were in the middle of the room and the chairs and tables were standing at the wall. It was a damn huge mountain of sweets and even Madara and Itachi had to give their sweets.

Naruto knew that they would hate this but he too had to give his sweets away for this prank. It's not like they would suffer alone. No they would suffer as the family they were. Even when said family is crazy and a bunch of criminals. They were a family. Well most of the time they were when they aren't fighting, on missions, have a little war under themselves and other things that every family has. Hey it's not like they were supposed to be perfect right? They can have their fun too in the life or it would just be boring.

Alas Naruto was standing in front of it and had a bucket full of water in his hand. With a mischievous grin he went over to his love and emptied it on him. Said love twitched because of the coldness of the water and turned slowly around to see who had done that. Madara was on the sidelines and made himself comfortable on a table with popcorn and a camera on.

As Itachi had turned around and saw his little lover standing there with an innocent look and an empty bucket in his hands he knew why he was soaked wet now. He slowly raised his hand to Naruto's hand with the bucket and grinned. Naruto gulped. He doesn't like that grin. No, nope not one bit did he like it. It screamed clearly for him to run for his life and come back in a few month till Itachi had calmed down. As he wanted to make a run for the door and felt that he couldn't move at all. He cursed under his breath for letting his guard down.

"Now, now Naru-koi! Where do you think you're going?" asked the raven who had the kitsune in his clutches.

Naruto didn't say anything. He knew he was doomed and that his butt would hurt for a few weeks when Itachi was finished with him. Not even the Kyuubi would be able to heal that. He knew from experience. Itachi would rub it then in his face and always carry him bridal style with a firm smug smirk in his face. He still had the feeling that Itachi was the devil in the bedroom. Even Kyuubi said so himself. But he didn't want to change it. Besides the Kyuubi hated it when the two had sex and Naruto was quite the screamer. But no one knew because of the sound prove walls they had and the jutsu that they had used on them to make sure it stayed that way.

"I don't know what you are talking about Itachi" he replayed innocently after he got his voice back.

"Are sure?" asked the raven with a raised eyebrow. "Well then you have nothing against what I am going to do to you!"

"What do you mean?" Oh Naruto didn't like the tone in Itachi's voice.

"You'll see Koi, you'll see" there it was again and with a smirk that couldn't be good for him.

Madara chuckled when he heard that. He liked where this was going and he could get some money from this too. But they first had to get that prank over with. He frowned at that and narrowed his eyes on Naruto. The little runt sure as hell knows how to play a prank. It was scary and funny at the same time. Scary because you could be his victim and funny when you are the watcher. He sighed `_Time to stop the love birds_´ He cleared his throat and then said

"As funny as it is to watch you guys. You have to stop now. Or we will never get this over here!" he gave a pointed look to Itachi who caught the hidden meaning.

It was clear to him. Madara didn't want to be stuck with the shit longer than necessary. When Itachi thought about he too didn't want to be stuck with it longer than he needed to. But it was tempting to fuck Naruto senseless, what he will still be doing, that he completely forgot about the bloody prank. Naruto on the other hand was glad that Madara had interrupted them. Who knows what Itachi would have done to him.

"We should get to work... NOW!" exclaimed Naruto and went into kitchen to get the baking tin he used on Kisame.

When he came back after a minute and Madara and Itachi saw the baking tin they sweat dropped. It just couldn't be that Naruto still had the baking tin from that day. I mean who would still have it after such a day and wouldn't throw it away? Every normal person would but alas Naruto is not like every normal person and is certainly not normal this rule doesn't go with him.

"Itachi I want you to make a fire and Madara you will fill those buckets and the hole with water!" he ordered to them.

"Which hole are you talking about?" asked a confused Madara who doesn't see a hole anywhere.

"This hole!" said Naruto as he let his fist collide with the ground

As his fist met the ground there was a giant hole with the size of a football field. It was a few miles deep though you couldn't see the floor from it. I have no idea how that had place in there. Hell I even write this story and don't get it! Naruto grinned at his handy work. Madara whistled at the size and got to work. He didn't question the blond how he did it. He knew better than to question him. Some things Naruto did just couldn't be explained. Like the one time where he froze Deidara in a block of ice and somehow got Kisame to walk on coal... that was on fire.

He shook his head and concentrate on his task at hand. Naruto sure knew how to give tasks that would take forever. While he thought and tried to fill the hole Itachi lit the tables and chairs that Naruto had gotten for the prank. He still doesn't know where he got them but as long as Naruto didn't got into trouble for it and has his fun, he wasn't interested in it. He would do anything to make Naruto happy even if it means to play prank and suffer. Well not my problem and besides we then have something to laugh about.

Erhm -coughcough- anyways as the tables and chairs burned he saw how Madara was still working on filling the hole that just didn't seem to work. How hard could it be to fill a simple hole such as this? Certainly it could be when you were looking in the hole and see how slowly it got full.

"Need some help?" asked Itachi as he went to Madara and looked down into the hole. He whistled when he saw his progress. It was not much that was clear.

"Yes damn it! That fucking hole just won't get the fucking hell full" Madara nearly screamed in frustration.

OK now Itachi knew something wasn't right. Madara would never ever in his entire life accept or ask for help from someone other than himself. Madara was just like this. Sometimes Itachi wondered how Madara will ever find with such an attitude a lover. Maybe never when he doesn't stop it. Ha of course he will find someone. Hehe and that someone will give him the hell. Cough anyways we are not here to hear about Madara's love life... not yet anyways.

"Well are you going to help me now or what?" snapped Madara at Itachi when he didn't move a muscle to help. That work pissed Madara off and the fucking hole just loved it to fuck with him he knew it.

"Eh yes" said Itachi when Madara snapped him out of it.

He got fast at the work and didn't even noticed how Naruto was standing there and filming everything and laughing his ass of. It was just too hilarious to see them so worked up about it. Maybe he should do this more. It would be amusing to watch them. But he had to cut it short. It took Madara and Itachi an hour to fill that wretched hole. All the while they cursed the hole that didn't do anything to them. Really what could a hole do to them?

"Now that we are all finished" said a cheerful blond to them "We can began now"

The two hated the cheerfulness in the voice of Naruto. It was just too cheerful for their taste and screamed that he was the one who made them take so long to fill the hole. But they just didn't want to ask him about that now or they would never finish this prank. Naruto jumped onto the 'lake' and let a water dragon appear behind him. He nodded to Tobi who had his mask in place and was now running out of the room screaming.

"PEIN-SAMA! TOBI HAS SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU AND THE OTHERS BECAUSE TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!?" it echoed through the whole base and woke everyone up.

Just so you know the Akatsuki's aren't morning persons and hated to be woken in such a manner. Whatever reason it is. And I mean whatever reason it is. Even if they were told the base is on fire they would kill you after the had left the burning building and then would go back to sleep. That would be it. But as Tobi was running around and screaming his lungs out. The others made their way to the dinner room. It was a normal routine for them. Tobi wakes them up, go to dinner room and plot revenge. But when they entered the room and saw what had happened to it. They starred and starred with mouth wide open mouth that an ox would probably fit in.

Itachi was standing in front of the fire and threw sweets in it. And not just any sweets it was THEIR sweets! Kakuzu had a heart attack(s), Hidan was glued ot the spot and could do nothing, Pein lost all his color in his hair, Konan was as pale as snow and gaping like a fish, Zetsu could only stare, Sasori was laying on the ground, Deidara tried to breath which didn't help him in this matter and Kisame was crying.

Naruto was in heaven and filmed everything like every good prankster would do. Oh this was such a good blackmail material. Who knew that the Akatsuki would react this way to their burning sweets? Naruto didn't. He had a hard time to hold in his laughter which he somehow success in. Itachi was crying in his mind. He may not show it on the outside but in the inside he was crying. Oh his precious pocky. Oh what a shame! Don't think false of him now. He does love his little Kitsune but his precious pocky was on the second place. Then came the Akatsuki and on the very last place is the rest with Kisame and Deidara.

Tobi was now in the dinner room too and cried openly. All his cookies would die now and they didn't even had the chance to be eaten by him. Oh the world is so cruel. No not the world but Naruto is cruel. How could he do this to them? While he was crying and the sweets were burning Naruto let the water dragon crash into the fire and put it out. He heard the others take in a sharp breath and grinned when he heard the next reaction from them. The sweets were not only burned but well ruined too. If you want say it in a safe way. It was much worse than this. The sweets didn't live through this treatment. They didn't stand a chance in the beginning at that. It was just too evil do such a thing to sweets that can't fight back properly. The fight was so unfair!

While the others were in depression Naruto left them and wandered aimlessly around the base. Maybe he could find some things to blackmail the others. Who knows. But as we all know him he will find something.

**Brat what the hell was that back in the dinner room? **asked the over grown kitty.

`_Dunno what you are talking about? Maybe you are on drugs and when yes, HOW THE FREAKING HELL DID YOU GOT THEM IN YOUR SEWER!?_´ Naruto nearly screamed out loud but the lord Fluffy had no such luck with prison he is in and heard it with an echo. That gave him a headache.

**Not so loud runt!?** barked Kyuubi **I can hear you fine enough in here! You don't need to shout it!**

_I am soo sorry fuzz butt! But really what the hell are you on? I mean you are in good mood when you're talking with me on your own!_´ authoress whistles innocently and walks away.

**Nothing gaki! But seriously why did you do that to them. Deidara and Kisame I understand but the others? **asked Kyuubi.

_`Well Itachi molest me in front of those fan girls remember? And I told him I would get my revenge him!_´

**No you didn't but I know what you mean. Fan girls are evil especially the Yaoi ones kit!**

_`See? Anyways Madara because he told me his story that made me want to sleep. Besides it was boring!_´ complained the blond kitsune and whined when he thought about it.

_**It's never a good sign to bore a kitsune. Especially when they are pranksters at heart**_ thought Kyuubi. It really isn't good because their pranks would then get more... 'funny'.

_`And the rest because it would be unfair to the others when I hadn't done anything to them! Besides it was funny to see their reaction no? Come on who would have thought that Madara can cry openly although he is an Uchiha eh?_´ asked the blond.

Kyuubi snickered when he thought back to the faces and reaction of the other members. It was funny and a really good show to see. Especially the way Madara, Pein, Sasori. Kisame and Deidara reacted. But Hidan was the best out of them all. That he would be standing on his spot like glued to it and doing nothing. Not even swearing or death promises shouting. So not like Hidan. Ah it was good that Naruto had filmed it. The kitty couldn't wait to see it again.

_**Note to self: kill the authoress for writing the 'kitty'- thing all the time**_ thought a pissed off fluffy kitty that was out for the blood of the authoress. who we all know didn't do anything. _**Liar!**_ And it seemed that the kitty had learned to talk to me with thinking. Congratulations now you get a cookie! That only pissed the kitty more off as we all know that he can't eat cookies in his prison.

I now leave the kitty alone and watch what Naruto is doing in Itachi's room. Well not really I already know what he will be doing. Jumping on his bed and bring chaos and destruction in the always clean room of his mate. It was just to damn funny to see Itachi standing in the door way and twitching like there is no tomorrow. And when you look better at him you can although see a vein appear on his forehead.

That is quite a feat Naruto could always bring out on Itachi. So nice to have Naruto as a mate. You will never bet bored or has nothing to laugh about in your life anymore. It was now a good three hours till Naruto left them in the dinner room and he had seen no one till then. Not even Itachi who was never easy to play a prank on. It worried him that his mate might be in a trauma. He sighed and stopped his chaos and destruction thing and to went the dinner room.

As he reached it he couldn't believe what he saw. Well he could but that is not the point. They all were still in the position he had left them. Well not really Sasori and Deidara were now crying in each other arms about their lost 'ones'. Konan and Pein were now in a sitting position and starring blankly at the wall. Kakuzu was back to normal and counting money. Hidan had left and was shopping it seemed. When Naruto was reading the note right. Tobi was in the kitchen and baking cookies and Kisame leaned at the wall for support. Itachi was sitting cross legged next to the door where Naruto stand with eyes closed. Praying for his pocky most likely.

Naruto had first thought Itachi had left as he didn't saw him in the room but when he had turned to his left he had found him. Itachi looked peaceful and Naruto knew he was praying for his pocky. He sighed and sat next to him. Itachi didn't move. Naruto whimpered when he didn't got a responds from his mate. Still Itachi didn't move to acknowledge him that he knew Naruto was there. That made our little blond sad. No, not really but he knew how to play this game. He knew Itachi wants _him _to feel guilty but there he hadn't thought with Naruto.

Naruto snuggled close to Itachi and whimpered again from the lack of responds. _`Don't give in Itachi! He should learn that he did something to upset you! Don't move or look then you don't have a problem!_´ well to bad Itachi. Naruto was just better than you in this.

Naruto then began to sniff and sob. He snuggled closer to Itachi who went stiff when he heard he the sobbing and sniffing. But still he didn't move. But what Naruto did then was mean just plain mean. Naruto did not only, whimper, sniff and sob no he did the thing Itachi hated the most. He did never want to see on his mate. Well he shouldn't have opened his eyes then. Idiot. Erhm anyways Naruto used his eyes on him and changed betweein sobbing, sniffing and whimpering. He let his tears escape and snuggled to Itachi like he was the only who could help.

Well he was the only who could stop it. Damn Naruto and his eyes and the power Naruto had over him. It was just not fair. Sure Itachi had the same power over Naruto like Naruto had over him. That comes with being mates but sometimes he got the feeling Naruto did things like that on purpose. Inside his mind Naruto did a victory dance when he felt Itachi taking him in an embrace. A tight one at that. But nevertheless Naruto won this little 'war' between them.

**And the price for the best actor in the whole shinobi world goes to... **-drum roll- **NARUTO UZUMAKI!** -persons applaued- Kyuubi said with laughter. But he really didn't know where the drum roll and applauding people came from.

_`Thank you, thank you. _–wipes tears away- _Ha I knew it. I knew I would get this prize. Well first of all I have to thank my mate for this. Without him I wouldn't have gotten this little thing here. And the Kyuubi although the fluff ball didn't do anything!_´ said Naruto with new tears in his eyes.

**Whatever Kit. But you sure should be an actor and not a shinobi. We would be rich with the money you would earn. You have talent for this!**

Naruto ignored this and began to concentrate on his mate again who sighed. Naruto could feel why Itachi was so irritated. He looked up at Itachi from his position in his lap. Itachi raised a black eyebrow to that.

"Sorry for destroying your pocky!" Naruto said with big innocent eyes.

If Itachi didn't knew better then he would think Naruto was acting. He knew the acting skills from Naruto and how good they were. Naruto could fool Itachi himself with them. But he knew from watching Naruto when he acted and when not. It was a quite a sight to see how he fooled a whole village with his cheerful mask. But it was really a feat to hide form ANBUs in an bright orange jump suit without being found. Not many shinobi could do that.

"I know Naruto" Itachi said and didn't missed how Naruto flinched when he said his name with such a stern voice. But Naruto had to learn when to play pranks and when not.

It was not like he didn't enjoy them. He did but it was always better to watch how Kisame and Deidara had to suffer and the rest of them. OK all of them. And maybe they had deserved this prank. OK not maybe they **had **deserved it. But it was funny when he thought back to it. He chuckled when he thought about the reactions from the others.

Naruto perked up when he heard Itachi chuckle. It seemed like Itachi had liked the prank too eh?

"So Itachi not angry with Naruto?" he asked in a little voice

Itachi shook his head.

"No" he said "But as I know you, you have a video of this right?"

Naruto grinned sheepishly and nodded, Of course he had. Where would be the joke in it without a video?

"Hai! Why do you ask?"

Itach grinned only and picked Naruto up and went to his room. He already knew that Naruto had caused chaos and destruction in it. That was just Naruto. He knew that his little kitsune did it only to see him standing and twitching in the door. Naruto pouted when he didn't got an answer form his raven. Sometimes Itachi was mean. But that was Itachi. Instead of throwing a big fuse about that he settled for snuggling into Itachi.

KM: _still crying into Madara_

Kai: Eh hehehe Madara you wouldn't do something to us right! Right?

Ita: Kai we are talking here about Madara!

Naru: Yes he hates it when she's crying!

Kyuu: He would do anything to get her back to her old self!

Kai: O.O then we are doomed! He **will** _**kill**_ us!

Naru: He wouldn't right?

KM: _hiccups _H-he w-wou-would_ sobs_, _hiccups and breaks down_

Ita: ... we are dead

Mada: _smirks evilly _Yes you are! _turns to readers_ Please R&R! _turnes back and still grinning evilly_


	14. Chapter 14

KM: I am back and normal again!

Mada: As normal as she can get and that is not much!

KM: -.- Not funny! Where are the others?

Mada: Hospital why?

KM: Oh just a question. But was that really necessary?

Mada: Yes they had deserved it.

Shizu: KM!  
KM: Shizu!

Shizu: Hey I wanna help here too! Besides you can need it with that pain of yours!

KM: _ mumbles and whines _Everyone is against me! _huffs and crosses arms _Fine but why do I have you again as an other personality?

Shizu: Dunno? Anyways KM does NOT own Naruto!

KM: But my youthful friends I own this youthful story and someday the world Mwahahhahhah

Mada&Shizu: _backs slowly away _O.o

_**Chapter 14**_

"talking"

_`thinking_´

**Kyuubi talking**

_**Kyuubi thinking**_

**"Shinigami talking"**

_**`Shinigami thinking´**_

Somehow the rest of the Akatsuki came back the reality the last few days and went on like nothing happened. They had erased it totally out of their memory. It was just too painful to remember how their sweets were burned and soaked. Deidara even had nightmares because if that. But nevertheless the sex was the same with him and Sasori. Kakuzu had somehow gotten them sweets without paying anything. But like everything that is for nothing it gave a catch. Well the catch was to be a model for the factory who gave them the sweets.

Because they only had Itachi, Naruto, Konan, Hidan, Sasori, Deidara and Pein who looked like models it gave protests. Itachi didn't want his mate to be seen by others than himself. Means no naked pictures whatsoever. Though that Kakuzu did not bribe Naruto in it he said he and Naruto wouldn't do it. Sasori was the same with Deidara without the mate thing. And Konan was just not interested in it. Pein said he was the leader and would do nothing of the likes. Hidan said it was against his religion to do such a job. Although he ran around half naked. That means no body wanted to do it and they did it like every criminal would do they stole them.

Why they didn't thought about to do this in the first place the world my never know. Anyways it was now Saturday night and that means only one thing. Game night. No body liked that night because it always ended with something destroyed or someone being hurt. Most of the time it was the letter. Why? Because Deidara and Tobi would always fight about what to play. And with Naruto there the fights were getting more painful and more interesting to watch. Hey he used his Rasengan to get his point through. In the end it alaways won. Deidara and his clay didn't stand a chance against that. And Tobi just didn't want to be cheese.

But that was not important. It was Saturday and it was game night that everyone hated. Why they still had it was because of Zetsu and Konan who said they needed some bonding time. They really didn't care what they did say because to that time no one was listening. They played a round of strip poker which everyone was loosing in safe for Naruto, Itachi, Konan and Zetsu. Well the last two is clear why. They were rambling about the bonding shit like Hidan had began to call it. He still didn't understand how they could do something like this that as S-class Nuke-nin. Hello they are feared because of their reputation for the way they kill and whatever you can think of. Hell even _**I **_don't understand it and I write the story.

Anywho we found now our loveable and favorite Nuke-nins in the meeting room. Well the dinner room was still not fixed. They were all seated around the table and starred blankly at the wretched thing that is known as Bingo. Tobi was far away in a corner from the wretched thing and Deidara had already tried to let it explode. But no such luck it lived through this. That was a low blow to the ego of the bomber man. Sasori had a hard time to cheer him up. Itachi was sitting and glaring at the thing in hopes it would burst in flames. Pein was tied to the chair for attempted fleeing. Hidan cursed the thing with all he got and Kakuzu tried to sell it on ebay. Kisame was hiding behind Pein in fear it would attack him.

Well it could attack him! That wretched thing did attack me. But that is a story for an other day. Coughcough- Zetsu was standing at the sidelines with Konan and watching the thing form a great distance away. Why oh why had it to be Bingo why not Go Fish or something other than Bingo. He would have played anything but _that_. Even Konan was afraid to play it. And what did Naruto do? He just sat there like nothing was wrong at all. He was grinning like an idiot. Oh he loved it to see them reacting in such a way! He didn't thought they would react this way when they would be playing Bingo. If he did knew then he wouldn't have suggested it.

"You know" he began and caught their attention "it could already be over when you guys stop acting like babies!"

They starred, blinked, starred, gaped, blinked and starred again. That was _not_ possible! How the hell did Naruto stay calm about this!? They were talking here about Bingo, B-I-N-G-O, the worse game possible to exist on earth! Only old people with no hobbies play such a game! No wonder Naruto **was** the one who suggested it. Naruto was smirking like an idiot now. He liked how the game night was going this far. Maybe it wouldn't be as boring as he thought it would be.

Kyuubi had in the mean time build for himself a bunker with everything you need. _**First shoot then look if it's the wretch thing. Maybe I get Naruto too? Nah better not, don't want the Uchiha against me**_ mused the Kyuubi as he brought the last touch to it. He was safe against it... for now. Kyuubi had a helmet on his head and was heavy-armed. He wore a military vest too. You know the whole camouflage thing with the trousers. Hell that even trousers in his size existed I didn't even knew.

However Naruto finally let the game begin. Believe me when I say it went down hill form there. Tobi refused to come out of his corner and had to play from their. Hidan swore every word he knew and hoped Naruto would burn in hell for that. Sasori, Kisame and Deidara were sulking in their seats and Pein was freed to play. But would he leave then that was it with his manhood. Konan was standing with Naruto. They both would read the numers form the little balls of hell. That was what Zetsu had dubbed them.

Naruto had the time of his life to see them suffer. It was great and Deidara was near the breaking point. He wouldn't last much longer. It seemed that he would start any minute to throw a fist. Then the real fun would begin. Oh he couldn't wait for it to happen.

With the one and only Fruity-chan and Panda-chan

There something so not right with this picture. Gaara and Orochimaru where both in Gaara's office and had a civil conversation. No weapons drawn, no death treats just nothing. They were talking like they were old acquaintance. That was something so wrong in every way possible. First of Orochimaru killed his father, second he used him and third Orochimaru was... well Orochimaru. It was just not right. But I do wonder what he wants from our dear loveable, hugable and fuckable Panda-chan.

"So why are you here again?" asked Gaara.

"Well as we all know the duck ass had left me to go to Konoha for some idiotic reason I do not know of. Besides we have heard how Konoha is faring without it's allies." said the snake dude

"Yes I do know of this. But it does not explain why you are here!"

"Easy I want an alliance" he said getting to point without any warning.

Gaara raised his non existing eyebrow to that. Why would the snake dude want an alliance with exactly the persons who always destroyed his plans. It was good that he had told Tsunade to come to the meeting. She would know what to do and besides the two were teammates. She knows him somewhat. It would be a great deal. But not when she is drunk out of her mind. What is exactly what she is. How does he know this? Well said person came drunken out of her mind in his office in this moment.

Gaara and surprisingly Orochimaru slapped themselves. _`And she is a Sannin? How was that possible? The ones who told her that must have been drunken to that time!_´ they thought at the same time.

"Ywhu wefsr thije ohhsgen!" said a drunken Tsunade who no body understand.

"uh what?" asked Gaara who didn't understand one word.

He was not alone. Orochimaru too didn't understand and that is something. Although he was her teammate you would think he could understand the language Tsunade spoke. When Tsunade saw Orochimaru she teared up and threw herself at him. She cried on him while he was dumbfounded sitting there. He looked at Gaara for help but he wasn't fairing better either. He had no clue what to do now.

"Don't look at me like that! I have no clue what to do! But I will accept the alliance. And don't think of betraying us or I sic Tsunade on you when she is drunk!?" the last comment was said with an evil smirk on his lips.

Orochimaru nodded dumbly. He couldn't say no to that because he knew that Gaara would make the threat come true. Hell he didn't want to face a drunken Tsuande ever again. Two times were enough for him as it is. The first time ended for Jirayia in the hospital and him with Tsunade in bed. He was glad that she didn't remembered it or he would have had hell paid for it. He shuddered at that. But now was the second time and who knows what will happen now? He sure as hell isn't the one of those to find out.

"Sure! Now the contact to sign!" he replayed.

He wanted to get that over as fast as possible. He didn't want to be near Tsuande as long as needed it to be. As we all know that this is boring we will go and look in Konoha and see what is going on there! Also you don't want to you must!

Konohagakure No Sato

We are now at the Trainings ground form Team Gai. The 'Rockies', their Senseis and the Hokage -coughcoughUKEcoughcough- were all sitting in a circle and were discussing some shit. They still didn't really knew why Naruto went missing. They all thought he was kidnapped but who would want to kidnap him and not the Uchiha? Well I have plenty of reasons. For one he is the son of the Yondaime Hokage you dolts! Second he is a walking one man army, third he's the godson of the three Sannins. Yes all three but that will explained later. Why? Because I said so. Anyways the fourth reason is because he is the Jinchuriki of the strongest of the Bijous! We all know and love. The fifth reason is that he **is** good looking and the mate of Itachi.

Also the latter isn't known to the public. The sixth reason is he has some serious ass strong allies! Number seventh is that he has the power to let Konoha fall.

Ha there you have some reasons! How come they didn't noticed it? Even the Uke didn't and he is known as a prodigy. My ass, hell even my ass has more brain than them combined! But this story is _**NOT**_ about my ass. Sadly. Erhm anyhow as they talked they somehow got to the topic Naruto. Authoress whistles innocently and looks away.

"What do you guys think where Naruto is?" asked Ino who was sitting in the lap of Shikamaru who was laying down and watching the sky. How that worked I have no idea at all.

Ino looked around as she didn't got an answer immediately. They were all deep in thought about that. They thought about it and couldn't come with a logical answer to that. I mean no one can vanish completely form earth. But Naruto just did that.

"I don't know Ino. Maybe he's in Suna?" suggested Hinata who was sitting next to Kiba while patting Akamaru.

"No he can't be" everyone was looking at Chouji who said this. "I had a mission there and I didn't saw him. The only blond I saw was Temari"

"mhmm so were could the dope be?" three guesses

"Akatsuki?" said Kurenai who was sitting between Asuma and Gai. She was backing away when Gai began his speech of youth with his mini-me.

"Please someone stop them!" said Asuma also he liked it when Kurenai went to him in search of shelter form those two.

Kakashi did the best thing possible. He slapped them so hard they went unconscious. It was quiet. Maybe those two would stand up again and then the horror would began anew. But as luck was this time on their side they didn't. The gay emo was silent through all of this. He thought that maybe the Akatsuki thing was correct but shrugged it of the next moment. Hey why should they kidnap Naruto. The dope who can do nothing and not him a powerful Uchiha. Full of himself. Maybe the gay ass emo princess needed a reality check or should just read my reasons why Naruto and not him.

Seriously who would want to kidnap a person who has a duck ass as a hairstyle? No one I say. Not even the insanest person. And I must know because I am one of them. May I some day have the world domination Mwhahahahahaa-chough-haha-pant- damn need practice with -pant,cough- that! Cough but back to the story. While he was pondering those useless thoughts and thinking about Naruto in way he shouldn't and that is only allowed for Itachi to think! He didn't even noticed how the others had began to bad mouth Naruto. Saying the village was better without him and the likes.

The chicken butt was so deep in thought he didn't noticed how he went back to his office and left the others. Oh well but he's a chicken who says that he doesn't think like one? I say so. On his way to his office the villagers looked and bowed to him. You know the shit they do like every other 'good' villager would do.

Back at the training ground the 'Rookies' and Senseis were still discussing Naruto and didn't even noticed how emo queen left. It was just too interesting this topic. Although Naruto didn't do anything to them. They still bad mouthed him. But why that is something we will like mostly know any moment.

"I heard how some villagers call him a demon when I was five. I was with my mother shopping for groceries." said Kiba while he was wrapping his arms around Hinata.

They looked at him. Sure they had seen how the villagers would look with hatred filled gazes at Naruto. They would always say something about him but the demon thing was knew to them. They knew that the villagers didn't like Naruto that much but to call him a demon. Wasn't that to much? Sure Naruto had done serious damage with his pranks. But as far to go to call him a demon. Wasn't that too harsh? Naruto was a prankster at heart that they knew but a demon?

"Oh now I remember my mother said something the same about Naruto" said Shino.

The Senseis began to think. Should they tell them? It was not like they would get a punishment. The new Hokage didn't knew of the SS-class secret about Naruto. Why should he? The demon wasn't there anymore. It was now peaceful in the village and quiet. No pranks and no fear of getting killed in the middle of the night. If the Yondaime could see them now he would be ashamed. He would be ashamed of the village he so loved that had treaten his son with no respect to keep them save. If he would ever meet them again he would make sure to let them hell pay. That even his own pupil doubted in his seal mastery was truly a shame.

With Shinigami and Minato

Those two were sitting in front of a big tv and watching the 'Rookies' and Senseis. Minato growled when he heard how they were talking about his son. How could they do somerthing like that. Any they say they were his friends. He snorted to that. He didn't like the way the young chicken butt was thinking about his son. No he does not approve of him for his son.

Firstly Naruto already had a mate and that mate knew how to take care of him. Yes Itachi was a good choice for Naruto. He was also strong enough to protect Naruto and show him his limits. The emo queen couldn't do that. He would not be able to do so. Second the boy had a chicken butt as a hairstyle. Seriously how can you take someone like him as a mate and be serious? No one I say again.

"Why does that not surprise me at all!" said Minato when he looked at the group.

**"Because you knew something like this would happen!"** said Shinigami and took a sip of his beer.

Minato raised a golden eyebrow "Isn't it forbidden to drink while on work?"

Shinigami almost chocked on his beer and coughed. He glared at the blond sitting next to him that was grinning like an idiot. Yes he and Naruto were definitive related. Same golden hair, same blue eyes, same goofy grin and same stubbornness. Yes they were clearly father and son. Now to give Naruto those news. _**`Ah well it can wait! It's too funny to see him and the Akatsuki together! It always gives something to laugh!´**_ thought the Shinigami.

**"Whatever blondie! You are not my boss!"**

"But I can tell the others!" said a cheerful bond.

Shinigami paled and his beer slipped out of his hand and landed on the floor. Oh no the floor! Now it's ruined and the carbet was new too! He knew who the others would be. The boss summons, Kami, Demon Lords, Kami, King of Hell, Kami, King of Heaven and did I mention Kami? Well that would not end well for him. If they ever heard about this. Damn the blond! Why did he have to take his life again? Oh yeah because of the damn seal. Damn him and his rules. He knew that the blond would be trouble. But noo he didn't listen to his guts like every other being. _**`I am an idiot´**_ he thought and sighed. _**`I am soo getting to old for this´**_

Said blond was now grinning smugly and could already see what would happen when the others hear about this. Yes Shinigami would be in for a hell of a beating and scolding. He snickered when he imagined this. Oh death was great. But he still wants to... teach Konoha a lesson.

**"Minato what are you thinking?"** asked a wary Shinigami a smirking and chuckling blond who scared the crap outta him.

It's not like he didn't heard the blond chuckle and saw him smirk but that was just creepy. The look was evil. Hell it even screamed evil. Minato and chuckling plus smirking always equals chaos and destruction. It seemed like Naruto got that from him.

"Oh nothing!" he replayed innocently. Too innnocently for Shinigami's taste.

Back with Power Rangers erhm no I mean Akatsuki

It was chaos and destruction and Naruto was laughing his ass off. Like he had assumed Deidara had snapped and threw the balls of hell at Kisame. It was just to hilarious to see how a grown shark was loosing against some little plastic balls. Kisame had then taken Samehada and swung at Deidara who had ducked. Though Kisame hit Hidan. Hidan then took the table and threw it at Kisame who dodged. The table hit Pein who cursed and then let his bodies attack Hidan. But it didn't went as planned as one of them attacked Kakuzu.

Kakuzu then attacked Tobi who attacked Zestu who then tried to eat Konan. Now everyone was in the match excluding Naruto and Itachi. The former was filming it and well was laughing his ass off. The latter just didn't want to sink as low as them. Besides he knew already this would happen. Why? Well we are talking here about Naruto. The boy is so screaming trouble in his ever being. It can't be normal. But then again who said Naruto is normal.

Itachi sighed and left the room. He didn't had the nerve to stand that bickering from the others. The only thing he wanted was his mate and nothing else. But said mate was busy this moment. Though what to do?

Naruto began to get bored after the first five minutes and left the meeting room. It was time for him to have a little adventure. So he did the next best thing. He went into Deidara's room. Hey there are bombs and other things that can explode. So why not? It's not like he would let the base explode or get world domination. Although the letter was tempting. But he can't do that or KM would fry him for taking away her dream! Erhm yes though no world domination.

As he was wandering the halls he didn't notice how something was following him. It was trailing behind him and chuckled. It was cute to see how obvious Naruto was when he is too deep in thought. Before Naruto could do anything he was pulled into Itachi's room. He wanted to scream because he thought someone would do something to him. But before he could scream someone calimed his lips. He blinked a couple of times before he saw it was Itachi.

Kyuubi whistled **Seems someone is horny!**

_`I know and that means Itachi will smex me and you have to watch_´ said a mental grinning Naruto with a smug expression.

**NOOOOOOOOOOOOO** Kyuubi was still in his bunker and crying. Why him? Wasn't he always a nice Kit? Okay maybe not when he shaved his Chichiue fell off or when he told Shukaku that Tanukis _can _fly. It wasn't his fault but in the end Shukaku had only some broken ribs, a broken arm and leg. Nothing serious though. Or when he glued his brothers hands together.

While Kyuubi wailed in Naruto's mind and was ignored, Naruto was stripped off of his shirt. Itachi attacked immediately Naruto's neck.

KM: I will stop here

Mada&Shizu: _in corner and whimpering_

KM: _ raises eyebrow _What's with you guys? Just because of the Bingo?

Mada&Shizu: _backing away from KM_

KM:_ sighs_ Please R&R! Next chapter Madara will get to meet his future lover

Mada: _faints_

Shizu: o.O May Kami help us!?

KM: Drama queens!


	15. Chapter 15

KM: The others are still in the hospital but they should be back when this chapter is over!

Shizu: As promised this chapter will contain Madara's future lover/wife whatever!

KM: Yes hehe that will be fun to write

Mada: You are more evil than me

KM: I know now do the disclaimer Hime-chan!  
Mada: Stop calling me that. Anyhow KM does _**NOT**_ own Naruto!

KM: But my youthful friends I own this youthful story!  
Shizu: Enjoy!?

_**Chapter 15**_

It was in the middle of the match that Tobi sneaked off. It was getting on his nerves and he needed some time alone. He went to his room that was not that far away from Itachi's. When he passed by at Itachi's door he froze. No that couldn't be! Those couldn't be at it. He suppressed the urge do bang his head against the wall. Itachi and Naruto sure as hell have an active sex life. He entered his room with a sigh. He was glad that they had a silence jutsu and sound prove walls not like others he knew. Why he could hear it? Well the door wasn't closed it was a bit ajar and to safe the sanity of him and the others he closed it. He shook his head and went to bed. He needed sleep now.

It was the next day when Madara awoke to shouting in the kitchen. He sighed and put some clothes on. He had not the time to deal with this in the morning. He rubbed his temples to prevent the coming headache. Why had he called this organization in the life again? He can't remember but he knew this. When he wouldn't leave right now he would really began to act like the gay telletubbi Tinkie Winkie. He shuddered when he thought about the purple thing. He wore civil clothes. A plain black shirt and blue jeans with black boots.

Though he did the next best thing to beware his sanity and left the base. He went to the village that was only a few miles away from the base. It had the name Star Sky. Why this name? Well the village is known for the clear night sky and the falling stars. It was always a great event to see. Also the 'Star Festival' was near. Though the village would be getting everything ready for it now. But he would prefer that always over the others. He can only stand a few in the organization. Those persons are Itachi and Naruto. Easy to count!. Before that it was only Itachi.

He sighed and made his way to the village. He was glad that the village wasn't a shinobi one or they would be in greath trouble. But also the villagers knew they were S-class Nuke-nins they didn't care. As long as they don't cause any trouble in the village they are fine with that they are coming shopping for groceries in there. They also didn't knew of Madara though he could go around without his mask on in the village. He had already a fan club. That followed him everywhere and I mean everywhere.

After an hour he reached the village. He was right. The village was getting ready for the coming festival. The decoration were lanterns with a sun, moon or star symbol. Everywhere you look you would see engarlands in the colors of the night sky. Madara looked while walking and didn't notice how he bumped into someone. That someone knew some colorful words might he add. When he looked down he saw he bumbed into a woman. He saw that she wore white boots, a black jeans and a purple t-shirt. `_Interesting combination_´ he thought. He saw she had brown shoulder length hair and was very pale. But it was still looking healthy though.

"How nice of you to help me back on my feet asshole!" she said in sarcasm to him while she stand up.

Madara's brow twitched at the asshole comment. But paid it no heed when he saw her. She was about 5'42''. He also saw her eyes now. They were brown in color. Madara saw her starring at him angrily. What does she want now from him?

"You know you could at least apologize and give me your name shit head!"

If he didn't knew it better he would have sworn that she was related to Hidan with the swearing. She sure knew how to do it. He hn-ed and saw how a vein appeared on her temple. The next thing he knew he was laying on the ground with her on top of him.

"I will only get up when I got your name and apologize!" she said with crossed arms to him.

Madara chuckled. The woman knew what she wants. That much was clear to him. Also he didn't mind her on top of him but he had to get up sometimes in the near future to go back to the base. Before someone noticed him missing. Itachi, Pein and Naruto wouldn't questioned it but the others would. Though he did the only thing he could do. Do as she said of course who knows what she would do to him if he wouldn't? He loved his life thank you very much!

"Madara. Uchiha Madara is my name and I apologize for bumbing into you" he said.

He heard her hn-ing and felt how she got up. He slowly got up in case she tackled him again. He wasn't so sure if she was one of his fan girls too. They were always like that. They would bump into him, he would apologize and then would be glomped, tackled or hugged. But what came next surprised him.

"Nice meeting you. Name's Shana" she said curtly. She didn't wait for a responds because she continued "So you are the oh soo handsome Madara Uchiha I have heard about from plenty women? Well you are not that good looking to me!" she said with a shrug and turned to leave.

Madara was dumbfounded. The first woman he met that didn't do anything to molest him.

Before Shana 'met' Madara

It was a normal day like every other for Shana. She woke up, took a shower, brushed her teeth, put clothes on, ate breakfast and took a walk around the village. But not this morning. As she went along the main street of the village someone bumped into her. As her butt met the ground she cursed. `_Which idiot bumped into me?!_´ she thought angrily. EH did I mention she has a short temper? She cursed the person with everything she got. Though she said the first thing that came into her mind.

"How nice of you to help me back on my feet asshole!" she said in sarcasm to him while she stand up.

When she stood she looked at him. He had black spiky hair but she knew that he was used to have it long. How she knew that was clear to her. The way the hair looked like. It looked it was good taken care of like you do to long hair. He had onyx eyes and wore a plain black shirt, blue jeans with black boots. She saw how his eyebrow twitch and smirked a little. So she got him. Well that should be fun. She let her face looking like she was angry and continued on.

"You know you could at least apologize and give me your name shit head!" with that she tackled him. "I will only get up when I got your name and apologize!" she said with crossed arms to him.

She heard him chuckle and wondered what so funny was but before she could even asked he spoke to her.

"Madara. Uchiha Madara is my name and I apologize for bumping into you" he said.

She hn-ed and got up from him. She found his voice surprisingly calm. It was deep and smooth. It was calming to her. She saw that he looked surprised when she got up and introduced herself. It was as if he thought she would attack him any moment. Man, they are always strange.

"Nice meeting you. Name's Shana. So you are the oh soo handsome Madara Uchiha I have heard about from plenty women? Well you are not that good looking to me!"

She turned around and smirked to herself. Yes she was good and she knew this. She got him speechless and wanted to walk away when a hand on her wrist stopped her. She first thought it was Roman. Her stalker. He was always after her. She didn't knew why but the old lady Shizu, who lived with her, told her always that she quite had the tits everyone woman dreamed of. As she turned around and wanted to slap her stalker, what she did, she saw that it still was the mada-what-was-his-name-guy or whatever his name is. What? She has a bad memory with names!

Madara had a nice, big and red hand print in his face. Madara held his check with his other hand and hissed at the contact. Shana sweat dropped and laughed nervously. Well she didn't meant to slap that hard. But when she thought about it she did meant it. She thought it would be Roman and not him.

"Ehm Sorry?" she said nervously "I didn't meant to slap that hard"

Madara gave her a pointed look that clearly said he didn't believe her.

"OK I meant it but I thought you were Roman, my stalker" she said when she saw his questioning look to the Roman comment.

Back with the Telletubbies erhm Akarsuki

The kitchen was a war zone and Naruto wasn't fault at this... not this time anyways. That leads us to a in chocolate covered Pein with a twitch in his eye. Hidan sitting in cake and covered with milk and other things. Kakuzu was completely white thanks to the flour. Zetsu was covered in strawberry ice-cream and crunched cookies. Konan had pink hair thanks to the tomato juice and salad was everywhere on her clothes. Sasori and Deidara were both covered in ice-cream, chocolate, cookies, milk and every juice that existed. The table and chairs weren't table and chairs anymore. Some chairs were destroyed or covered in cake, ice-cream or other things. You couldn't even look through the window anymore that dirty was it.

That was the sight that greeted Naruto and Itachi as they entered the kitchen. But what surprised them was when they didn't saw Madara. Perhaps he was in the village again. He did told them that he's going there when he can't stand the idiots anymore to clear his head.

"Do we even want to know what has happened here?" asked Naruto with a laugh.

"No you don't!" hissed Konan.

Naruto held his hands up in surrender. _`Man there is someone PMSing hard_´ he thought and backed away. Pein sure has a tough girlfriend there. That is always manhandling him. Poor guy. The PMSing woman left the kitchen but not before she gave everyone in the room a death glare that let shiver go down their spines. They somehow that the feeling that their lives were in danger. But they shrugged it the next moment off.

"I will so not clean this" said Naruto as he made his way to Itachi who somehow had gotten through the mess without getting dirty to the door to the living-room. "I think we order something Itachi!"

His only responds was a nod. Kisame was twitching when he heard this. Great now they had to clean the kitchen and where the hell is Tobi? He wasn't seen this morning. But it was soon forgotten when someone threw a tomato in his face. With that the war started anew. It wasn't till lunch that the kitchen was clean through some mysterious way. Tobi was also back now but was silent. He hadn't spoken one word when he came back. He went straight to his room and locked himself him in it. The others were slightly worried about him. That wasn't like the hyperactive idiotic lollipop they knew.

They were sitting in the living-room and discussing this matter. The only ones who were missing were Naruto, Itachi and of course Tobi. Naruto and Itachi had cornered him in his room to get some answers.

"What the hell is wrong with the idiot?" asked Hidan

"Don't know. Maybe it had something to do with the thing he did this morning" said Kisame.

They starred at him. He looked back and was getting annoyed with this. "What?!" he snapped.

"Nothing un. Just hadn't thought that a fish like you can think un"

And there flew Samehada at him. Directly in his direction after that comment. Pein shook his head at their antics. If they would ever grow up is something that will never be answered.

"Isn't next week week the 'Star Festival'? We should go!" said Konan while glaring at them. Wow fast changing of subjects and now threatening them. What next castration? "And when you say no then I castrate you!" she growled.

Pein and co. were sweating bullets by now. Konan can't be human. She was just to scary sometimes. Yes all power to the females! We shall achieve the world domination! Erhm cough anyways they nodded at her. Konan was satisfied with the answer and left them. She skipped to her room and began to search for an outfit for the festival. Wow this woman had mood swings that are deadly.

"You're grilfriend is scary un."

"I know but what about Tobi?" he asked with a sigh.

In that moment the door opened and a smug grinning Itachi with a flushed Naruto entered. Tobi was tailing behind them. Head down it looked like he was thinking. What he didn't do often. Well he does but they don't know him as Madara and now he was thinking why he was acting as Tobi and why not quit it. But this question answered itself when he looked around the room.

"Let me guess we are going to the festival?" said a flustered Naruto.

His only answer he got were several nods. They didn't dared to speak. Who knows what Konan would do when they voiced their opinion. Nothing good that is for sure. Itachi had taken a seat on the couch and pulled Naruto in his lap. He was thinking. _`Who would have thought that Sensei met a woman that perked his interest? Well that could get interesting._´ Itachi looked at Madara and chuckled _`It seems that the woman has already overtaken his thoughts_´

He was shocked when he heard about this. Naruto hadn't faced this at all. He just shot question after question at wasn't so happy about that. Now Itachi wanted to meet the woman that got his Senseis attention. What isn't easy to achieve might he add. Hell he can't even remember that a woman had done this at all. A shame they didn't got their name he sighed. Naruto heard Itachi sigh and knew immediately of what he was thinking. He too to wanted to meet this woman. She sounded fun to him. Maybe he would then have a partner in crime. How Madara had described her after, with information he got from her while the two had lunch, he came back she sounded just like such a person to him.

"Naruto don't even think about it" whispered Itachi in his ear.

Naruto grinned sheepishly. _`Damn he got me there. Oh well but who says she isn't_´ he laughed like a loonatic in his mind that made a certain fur ball very afraid of him. Itachi shook his head. Tobi had left again to do Kami knows what. The others went back to their own business after that short meeting. They all had to find something to wear for the festival. Naruto won't have a problem. Konan most likely will help him in this matter.

Time of the Star Festival (Yes I'm a lazy ass so sue me! Shizu,Mada: -.-;;;)

It was the night of the 'Star Festival' and the guys had to wait for Konan and Naruto. Well the latter hadn't a choice in this. They were all in civil clothes. Hey they can't always wear their shinobi gear now can they? Anyways Pein wore an orange shirt, black jeans and white sneakers. His piercing were shinning. Hidan wore a white shirt and black pants with black sneakers. On his white shirt was the symbol for Jashin. Kisame wore blue. That's it. Kakuzu wore the same as always. He was too cheap for buying clothes for this event. Black was his color. Deidara wore his hair down and braided. He wore a yellow polo shirt with a clay bird on it and white trousers with a black bird. Sasori wore a red shirt with the words puppeteer and red scorpion in kanji. His pants were black. Zetsu was in black and white. That was because none of his two half could decide what color to wear. Tobi wore a purple shirt and black pants with a silver dragon wrapping around his left leg. And his black boots. Itachi wore a crimson shirt with a black raven on it and dark blue pants with white sneakers. He had his hair in his usual ponytail.

It was several minutes later when Konan entered. She wore a blue sleeveless shirt with a white rose on it. Her was down that it reached her shoulders and her paper flower was on her left side. She wore a red skirt with white roses on the hem. She had sandals on like Tsunades but in in white. Her make-up was a blue theme.

"And now I present little Naru-chan!" she said well squealed.

Naruto came out but very slowly. Naruto wore a white chines shirt with a nine tailed fox on the back. The sleeves reached his elbows and were at the hem in gold or sliver like color. His hair was brushed and didn't look like he had slept a whole year through. It reached his shoulders and his bangs framed his face nicely. He wore a red pants with a howling baby blue six tailed wolf. He wore black boots with a kanjis on it for fox and wolf. He even wore a bit make-up couresty of Konan. Well she threaten him with no pocky and ramen. How could he say no to that?

Itachi's eyes were glued on Naruto and had that gleam in it. Naruto shivered at the stare. Konan was meanwhile at Pein's side and sighed wistfully at Naruto's look. Yes she did good work on him. And that had nothing to do with the praise of Itachi. Nope, not one bit. Also she liked the praise very much.

"Not bad Naru-chan. Konan you did good work on him" said the raven.

Deidara starred with hearts in his eyes at Naruto. _`Oh little Naru-chan looks so adorable!_´ he thought. Sasori had to admit he didn't look that bad either. But Hidan had to say the thing that would be the last thing he would say. May he rest in piece.

"Man if Naruto weren't your fucking mate I wou..." but he got never to finish this sentences because of the fact that a fist was in his face. To that fist was a very pissed of Itachi connected.

Itachi glared at Hidan and brought Naruto to his body. He snarled at Hidan and growled at him. The next thing they knew Itachi went in the direction of the village. Hidan was mumbling some things to himself that your ears shouldn't hear. The others sweat dropped to this. It was clear that something like this would happen. With a big and loud sigh they made their way to the village. It wasn't a long walk when you know how to run at a fast pace. At the village they saw that everything was lit and had a mysterious glow to it. The lanterns were swinging in the rhythm of the wind and music that came out of the village.

When they entered they immediately split apart. Sasori and Deidara, Pein and Konan, Hidan and Kakuzu and the other were left by themselves. Hidan was with Kakuzu because the asshole had his money how he had put it nicely. Pein and Konan tried their luck at the games, Kisame had an eating contest with Hidan. Kakuzu was mumbling about loosing money and what of a bastard Hidan is. Itachi and Naruto were dancing with Sasori and Deidara. And Tobi? Well he was nowhere to be found. Tobi or better said Madara was walking around the village to find the wench, how had come to call Shana, and get her back for the shit she had done to him.

While he was searching Naruto and Itachi finally met this mysterious person Madara had met. She was running away from an butt ugly guy. He wore totally pink and looked like a gorilla. She bumped into them and had only one thought _`I am screwed!_´ Naruto recognized her from Madara's description and nudged Itachi. Itachi looked at Naruto and then at what he was pointing. He got the clue.

"Oh Shana~ my love" said love whimpered and looked pleadingly at them.

"Oi! She is not your love you gorilla!" said Naruto. Shana giggled when she heard that.

The gorilla came to a stop when he heard that. He looked at Naruto and sneered at him. He wanted to punch him but was stopped by a hand around his throat. He heard how a male with a voice that could kill spoke to him.

"I dare you to lei only one finger one on him and you will regret to be born clear!?" said the voice.

Naruto was shook at the way Itachi talked. He had never seen Itachi this pissed. Also when Deidara had blown up his room. He was always calm and collected. Never let he get his temper the better of him. Till now. The gorilla was scared so shitless that he ran for his life.

"Man thanks you guys! And here I thougth the ass would have got me!" she exclaimed to them.

"Your welcome. Besides we couldn't let him get you! What the hell is that guy even anyways!?" nearly shouted Naruto.

She shrugged "I dunno but I know this. He's an idiot of a stalker!" she said between laughter.

Naruto nodded and laughed with her. Itachi just shook his head at the antics of the two. "Ne wanna come with us? We and the rest of the group are meeting in a few minutes!" Naruto said happily to her. She nodded and then was dragged by Naruto.

With the rest of the Akatsuki

They were all waiting of Naruto and Itachi. Even Tobi was there as Madara. No one had question him about the no mask thing. They had just shrugged it off. It was no big deal to them. Now they had one immortal more doesn't matter. As long as he doesn't swear like Hidan it was okey with them. Madara had gotten back to Deidara for all the time he blew him up as Tobi. Let just say Deidara had a new meaning to pain. They had a good laugh about this. It was then that they noticed that Naruto and Itachi came with a woman.

The woman had on a green shirt with a blue and white trutle on it that had razor sharp teeth. In bold letters stand above it `**Bow to the almigthy Lord Trutle**´. That earned some laughs form them. She wore forest green pants with black turtles on her legs. To that she wore her white boots. When they reached the odd little group. Shana slapped Madara who twitched.

"What the hell wench" slap there he went again.

"Oops my hand slipped. But it's your own fault for calling me a wench you asshole. You know the name's Shana!" she shouted at him.

In the background the others laughed, chuckled or snickered at him. Hell who would have thought that a mere woman would go and bitch slap THE Uchiha Madara. Twice. Deidara was rolling on the floor with Hidan and Kisame. But they were silenced when they saw how Shana and Madara glared at him. Ah and that the evening was still young! So let the fun begin!

KM:HA finished!

Shizu: _stares_ _blankly_ ..Hag.

Mada: Yup you are.

Shizu: I hate you.

KM: Well be happy I let you in my story.

Naru: We are back. And thanks for all the Reviews.

Ita: We are sorry for what we did to you KM!  
Kyuu: Yes we are.

Kai: Please R&R!

KM: The first entrance of my OC's and myself!


	16. Chapter 16

KM: _cackles evilly_ Yes new chapter! I am GOD

Mada: _sweat drops_ riight!

Naru: I have feeling this chapter will soo end in chaos.

Shizu: I am an old hag _cries_

Kyuu: _rolls eyes_ Get over it girl! KM does NOT own Naruto

KM: But my youthful friends I own this youthful story and my youthful OCs. But not Roman he is soo unyouthful!

others: _sweat drop and fell over _You still own him!

KM: _rolls eyes_ Whatever and enjoy the story!

_**Chapter 16**_

"Well I think it's time to introduce ourselves" said Konan who was happy to be not the only woman in this little odd group anymore.

"I am Deidara un" said a blond with braided hair "That's Sasori un"

Sasori bowed to her which she returned. Shana looked at the two and knew immediately that they are a couple. How? Well she is a hard core Yaoi Fan Girl and she had a sixth sense for this. She knew already that Naruto and Itachi were a couple and mates. She saw the way they acted around each other on their way to the meeting point.

"Kisame" said the blue fish dude how Shana had named him or it? When she first saw him.

"Pein" said the orange haired dude "and this is Konan my girlfriend"

She looked at the blue haired woman and bowed. She already liked her. She had seen how Konan had glared at Pein when he introduced them. She giggled at that.

"The money fucker over there is Kakuzu and I am Hidan. Wanna go out?" asked white hair dude.

The next thing he knew was two fist in his face. Those two fist belonged to Shana and Madara who looked really pissed of. Madara didn't like the fact that Hidan was trying to flirt with his woman. _`Wow one moment there! Since when was she my woman?_´ he asked himself. But he to admit that he liked her the way she is. Although he wouldn't say it out loud. It was already hard enough to know that Itachi and Naruto knew about this.

_`Asshole_´ was the only thing she thought about the white haired asshole. She also noticed how Madara had hit the asshole too. The punch was not that bad. Well that gave him some plus points by her. She heard how Deidara broke down laughing with Naruto and the fish dude. She smile slightly at that. _`Yes_´ she thought `_it would be fun with them_´

"I am Zetsu" said a two colored person to her.

She rose an eyebrow to that. Who in their right minds looked like that? Oh well that was not her problem now was it? No though she looked at Naruto and Itachi for an answer but they shook their heads no. It seemed that they couldn't answer her this question. Darn. Oh well it's not like the world is going to end.

"Well the name's Shana and I already know shit head over there" she said pointing to Madara.

Said shit head was twitching violently at the comment. Forget the liking part he is going to kill her there and then. He does not like it when someone's insulting him in such a way. Not even the woman he might like. Authoress snorts yeah right. Anyways before he could do anything she jumped him in the arms. He blinked and starred at her with curiously. But before he can even question her why she did it he heard someone shout her name. He looked up and saw the ugliest person he had ever seen. The others looked at the ugly person and had the feeling to throw up. It was just not human.

Roman couldn't believe his eyes. His woman was in the arms of another male. He was trying to rape her was his only thought. And with that he rushed at Madara. Madara starred at him like he was an idiot and only held his fist out. Said idiot ran into it. The group sweat dropped to that. No one can be that dense and ran into a fist but Roman that is. While he was out cold they made their way to the village middle were the dance would proceed. It was one of the high lights of the festival. On the way Madara and Shana were fighting all the times. It was funny when Madara would get slapped. Or they found the two in a head log. The colorful words were flying through the air and bitch slaps.

When they reached the middle of the town and those two were still fighting they sighed. Yes those two were the perfect match. Now only to bring them together. That would be a hard task they all already knew that. Although Hidan hated that Madara and the chick were going to be a couple. And before he knew it a fist big rock met his head. Deidara went over to him to see if he was still in the land of the living. Well he was but the rock wasn't anymore.

"Oh no" they saw how Shana ran to Hidan or what looked like she was running to him. "Oh you poor rock! How could the white dude do this to you!"

The group sweat dropped and fell over anime style. _`The girl needs help! Serioulsy who would be worried about a rock? It's just a freaking rock!?_´ they all thought. But when they saw how she looked at the rock. They shook their heads and choose to ignore her and her little rant. Just as the outburst had began it vanished. Shana took Madara's hand and jerked him to the dance floor. She was smirking and that was something they didn't like. Oh well as long as they weren't the ones who had to suffer for this. Madara was crying inside his mind. What had he done to deserve this? He was always a good boy. No comment to this.

The evening was rather quiet and well. Nothing bad happened and they all had their fun. Deidara had fallen in the cotton candy mashine. And now the cotton candy was all over his hair and clothes. Even chocolate had gotten into his hair. Sasori had just smirked to this and said that he knew a way to get it off. Shana had squealed and had a nosebleed when she heard this. Hidan and Kakuzu had backed away from her then. Zetsu looked indifferent to her but in the inside he wondered if she was still a sane person. Probably not by the looks of it. She had a shirt that had the sentence `**Bow to the almighty Lord Turtle**´ who in their right minds wears something like that? Well Shane does.

Konan wasn't interested in this. She only thought of a way to get her and Madara together. When nothing worked she could still lock them in a closet. Pein didn't like the gleam Konan had in her eyes when she looked at Madara and the woman. It was scary. It seemed like she planned something for them and it was nothing good. For him or them he didn't knew but he knew that he would be somehow involved in this. Konan had her ways to do so. Kisame and Hidan had already drunken themselves in the obvious and didn't notice anything anymore. Kakuzu was crying because Hidan used all his money on sake and other alcohol.

Itachi and Naruto had already left and where who knows were. The only sober people in the little group were Madara, Itachi, Naruto, Zetsu and Shana. Zetsu had the task to somehow guide the others back. Madara and Shana help him. It was a damn hard work. Really and with Hidan flirting with everything that he saw was not an easy task then. Hell he even flirted with the trees. That was plain creepy. Shana made a disgusted face when she saw this. Pein and Konan were leaning for support on themselves. They managed to make it to the base or whatever the place is called. Kisame was already on the floor and was dragged by his feet back. Damn and Naruto and Itachi had left already. _`I'll ge them back for this_´ Shana thought and cackled evilly. What she hadn't notice was that the others heard her and were now completely sober again when they heard her.

_`Damn better not piss her off!_´ they thought. It was scary to see her laugh that way. It just didn't suit her. They thought she was a nice girl and not that evil. Madara had found his match in her. This petite woman was not normal. That was clear and she would bring more trouble to them. That they knew. After some difficult time they finally made it to the... place.

Naruto and Itachi

Those two had a nice time in Naruto's room. They both were panting hard, sweating and flushed. Naruto more than Itachi. Itachi liked his mark and heard how his little kitsune mewled. He liked the way Naruto writhed and squirmed under him. He kissed his way to the kitsune's ear and then took the ear lobe in his mouth and sucked on it. Naruto mewled at this. But he then attacked his mark. The mark from Naruto looked like pocky. No joke it looks like ramen. No now seriously and no jokes it looked like a fox or wolf paw. A mix you could say.

He heard how Itachi groaned when he lick and bit his mark. He smirked that would be fun. While he kissed his way down to Itachi's member he began to stroke it slowly. Very slowly and Itachi hissed to that. It was too slow for his liking but every time he bucked his hips Naruto would stop or go even slower. So his mate wants to play dirty that can two play. When Naruto reached his destination. He gave a lick to the shaft and heard how Itachi hissed at the contact. Oh he loved this.

Naruto licked again and smirked when he heard the hiss. Itachi had an inner fight. No way in hell would he beg for Naruto to took him into his mouth. But it was all soon forgotten when said blond licked again. Ah forget the pride. He needed that mouth around .

"Naruto" he growled when he was again licked "please just do it already!"

Naruto was grinning like a madman now. Yes life was good for him. He took Itachi's member in his mouth who hissed when he felt the heat around himself. He groaned when Naruto began to bob his head up and down. Slowly might he add. But he increased his speed when he heard his raven moan. Itachi found himself in heaven when Naruto began to increase his speed. But before he could come Naruto left him. He cursed under his breath and Naruto chuckled.

"Not nice Kitsune, not nice" scoled the raven in a husky voice as he leaned in.

He licked again his mark and then brought Naruto in a roughly kiss. Naruto moaned into the kiss and felt how Itachi's tongue pushed into his mouth and raished it. They both were already painfully hard and Naruto just wanted to be filled by the Uchiha. Said Uchiha knew this and decided to play a bit with Naruto. He let his hands travel down Naruto's body and slowly began to pump Naruto's erection. Naruto broke away and moaned at the feeling. Itachi trail kisses along Naruto's jaw line to his mouth. And before Naruto knew Itachi had sheathed himself into him. Itachi groan at the feeling of Naruto and tightness.

Naruto moaned when he felt Itachi in himself again this night. He loved this feeling of his mate in every way. Itachi started a slow rhythm and heard how his little kistune moaned and demanded from him to go faster and harder. That went the whole night this way.

With Kyuubi

Kyuubi was in his cage in corner. Far, far away from those noises. He had pressed himself down to the cage and had his paws over his fox ears. He whimpered when he heard the groans, moans and mewls from Naruto and Itachi. The only thing he thought was _**Why me? What did I do to deserve this?!**_ Kyuubi was crying. That was something you don't see. It was very rare to see him cry let alone to hear it. But Itachi and Naruto had done the impossible. It was something that will go down in history.

With the others

"My Yaoi sense is tingling" said Shana and with that she disappeared.

"The girl is strange un"

The others nodded in agreement to that. The woman was sure as hell strange and scary. Sasori didn't care and went to the room him and Deidara shared now. It was Sasori's old room. It was bigger than Deidara's. In Dei-chan's old room was now a place for who knows what. Pein and Konan were already in their room. They didn't care as long as they wouldn't be disturbed they didn't gave a flying fuck. Kisame was still on the floor and Hidan and Kakuzu crashed down on the couch.

Shana was looking into the room Itachi and Naruto occupied. `_Yes_´ she thought _`Hot man smex. I will be rich. Ku ku ku..._´ While Shana filmed them and laughed the others made it somehow to their beds or selpt in the place they were now. Like the kitchen, living-room, meeting room or the floor. They had the space to do so. Why not? It's not like someone will attack them or do some things to them. Of if only they knew, if only they knew.

_The next day_

It was a quiet morning and only two persons were up. The first person was a girl with brown hair and the other was a blond with whisker marks on his checks. Those two were on their way to the living-room where most of the yesterday group slept. They had identical grins in their faces that screamed trouble, chaos and destruction. No good combination. Too bad no body was awake to stop them or see that grin. They didn't knew what came to them or what happened to them after this.

Naruto went over to Hidan and Kakuzu. He had in his hands whipped cream and a shaver. Shana was on his other side with a buckets full of mud and... ice-cream? Well let's see what will happen to those poor men.

_One hour later_

All loud screamed echoed through the halls. Kisame, Hidan and Kakuzu were shouting like there was no tomorrow. That woke the others who were pissed off. We know why. No one in the Akatsuki liked to be waken at such an ungodly hour. Not even Madara and he is the leader. It was only 8 am. They all ran to the living-room where the screams seemed to come from. When they entered the living-room what they saw surprised them. Kakuzu and Hidan where tied together. Hidan had an Iroquois hairstyle in blue and green. His clothes were covered in mud and what looked like melted ice-cream.

Kakuzu was maskedless and only in his boxers. On his torso was written `**Hidan's bitch**´ in red with hearts. Kisame was soaked till the bones and was laying in mud. Samehada was written on with black and violet markers. On it stand `**Rescue the sharks! It only gives this one!**´ he wore a blue swimsuit and had fish laying next to him. He was twitching with a tick above his eyebrow. The others starred and starred at the sight in front of them. Deidara was laughing his ass of when he read the words on Kisame's Samehada.

Sasori even chuckled. And that says something. Konan, Pein and Zetsu starred blankly at them. Itachi and Madara were smirking. All the while Shana and Naruto were in the shadows and laughing their asses off. It was just too good to see their reactions. While the three had heart attacks. Naruto and Shana left them alone. When they were outside they bursted out laughing. It was just too much to take in. While those two were busy laughing they didn't noticed how they were watched by three Uchihas. Yes three. Two of them they **both** know. Only the third was known by Naruto.

Sas-UKE

After some time and threaten some people the duck ass had finally found Akatsuki's base. He even took the 'Rookies' and their Senseis with him. He was the Hokage, even though I say he is the Lord of the duck asses, he needs protection. Well not really. He can die for all I care after the shit he had done to our little Naru-chan. Anyhow drama queen and his allegiance were all hiding in the trees. Sasuke's eyes were glued to the spot where Naruto and the girl were. He licked his lips when he saw them. He did not only want Naruto anymore but the woman too. Naruto would be his sex-toy and the woman the breeding stock.

Kakashi and the others waited for the signal to go down and get Naruto and the woman. They thought the Akatsuki had kidnapped him and now wanted to have him back. Snorts yeah right anyways don't listen to me just read the story. Erhm as Sasuke was deep in thought about what he could do with Naruto and the woman when they were back in Konoha he didn't notice how a bird gave them away. Pathetic were seen by a bird. A bloody bird. Some shinobis they are.

As the bird flew away to Shana and gave her the information where they are. He told her about the intruder and their intentions. Shana's eyes harden and she whispered to Naruto about them. Naruto's eyes widened he knew exactly who they were. Shana was in worry of her new friend and partner in crime. Sure she had known Naruto only for a few hours. But she had the feeling as if knew she him her whole life. It worried her how he shook and sweated. She didn't like this one bit.

While those two were in deep thought about their situation. The Konoha shinobi took this chance to make themselves known. Kakashi was the first to jump followed by the others. But before they could say anything they were beat to eat.

"Damn Naru-chan! What should we do?" but she got no answer.

Kurenai took it upon herself to tell them what they wanted from them. She stepped forward and cleared her throat. Successful catching their attention.

"Naruto? You know why we are here don't you" when she got a nod as responds she continued "We want to take the both of you back to Kono..."

But she never got to finished when they heard the woman beside Naruto shout.

"NO. He and I ain't going to this shit hole you call Kono-whatever! The way Naruto is responding to this I say NO. And that is final you assholes and now leave us be!" the woman yelled the rest of the sentence.

They were shocked when they got this responds. They didn't understand why Naruto didn't defend them and said something about the rant from the woman. The two hidden Uchihas were smirking to themselves. Yes the woman knew how to get her point through.

"Miss you should really co..." but Kakashi didn't go to finsh this when a rock came in his direction. Flying he might add. "Wha...?" then he saw how the woman who they still hadn't gotten the name took a second rock and aimed at him.

"I said !" she growled.

Sasuke was it now to much. He wanted those . Though he did it himself. He vanished and the reappeared behind them. Ready to knock them out. But he didn't get the chance to do so when he was slammed back into a tree. The Konoha nins gasped. Before them stood a handsome male in black baggy pants with many pockets. He wore a white shirt with the kanjis for Mangekyou Sharingan on his back. He had spiky hair and eyes in an onyx black. He was standing their protective in front of the woman and was growling at their Hokage. Hehe ho hehe. Cough what surprised them was that he had the Sharingan.

Itachi was standing next to Naruto and had him in his arms. He was clad in the same fashion as the other male. Except his shirt was crimson with the kanji for raven on the back. He too was growling at his little brother. His eyes were flashing between his normal onyx colored ones and his Sharingan. Sasuke was slowly getting up and winced when he felt the pain in his back. _`Damn that asshole!_´ he thought. He blinked to get his focus back and starred the sight in front of him. Itachi was standing ther with HIS blond. That got his blood to boil. Oh is he in for a surprise kukuku...

While they were starring Itachi and the handsome male, in the opinion of the women, were looking at each other and nodded. They wore now identical smirks in their faces. The still unknown male took the unknown woman in his arms and glared at all the males that were there. Itachi did the same. It was enough for them. They did NOT like it how they were starring at their mates or in Madara's case soon-to-be mate. They were very protective and possessive about this subject. And no one has the right to take them away from them. Not even the spoiled brat chicken butt.

"Now do as your told or we have to make you" said the unknown male while he was smirking sadistic at the last part.

"No! We are not leaving without Naruto and the woman!" said a pink haired banshee.

Itachi smirked when he heard that and turned to her. "You will not take our mates away"

Itachi was pleased with the reaction he got form them. The jaws hit the ground and some even fainted when they heard that. Yes he loved it. And it seemed like Madara enjoyed it too. Shana was meanwhile going to have a little talk with Madara in the near future. Yes a little 'talk'. She was going to make him pay for this. But she would now play along with them. It was better then to go with those idiots. She knew they were bad news when she saw Naruto's reaction when she told him about them watching them. And the nature was telling her either to not trust them. They had something around them that mother nature didn't like. And Shana did always listen to mother nature. It was a guide to her.

The Konoha ninjas didn't make a move to show they would be leaving anytime soon. They were standing there determined to get Naruto and her. She narrowed her eyes when she heard how the nature was telling her that behind them was someone. She nudged Madara and tilted her head back in hopes he would understand the hidden meaning. Madara looked down when felt Shana nudge him. He raised a brow when he saw how she tilted her head back. It took some time till it dawned him. He looked behind him to confirm it and was not disappointed when he saw movement. The Konoha nins were sweating now. The male had seen their back up. They were busted.

They could do only one thing and that was leave. Sasuke didn't want to leave not without those two. He was pissed that those two had stolen his blond and the woman. EH? HOW? The were there first. He was going to get them. But in the end he had no other choice when his old Sensei dragged him along. They couldn't loose a Hokage again. They needed him and the power he brought with him. Which wasn't much. But they would be still in the area to spy on them. The Akatsuki member had luck that Naruto and Shana were deep in the forest and not near the base. Or it would have give them some problems and they would have to leave the village. The only village that accepted them.

KM: Mhmm nice!

Shizu: _still crying_

Kyuu: _rolls eyes_ _and mutters _women

Kai: ...that's it?

Naru: It seems so

Ita: ...evil

Mada: bad ass

KM: _ignores them_ Whatever! Please R&R! And I ain't going to sic Lee onto you!? Mwahahahaahahahahha _chokes_ haha_ panst_ hah _wheezes_ Must _coughs, pants_ learn to_ pant, chokes_ to breath. _takes deep breath_ Damn and more practice!

Mada: _sweat drops_ take ot slow will ya?


	17. Chapter 17

KM:...

Mada: What is wrong with her?

Naru: Dunno? But I don't like it

Ita: I think it has something with the surgery to do

Kai: I know she didn't like it one bit

Shizu: Yeah and then she had to stay in the hospital

Ray: Without her laptop to write the chapters!

Mada: Mhmm Well KM does not own Naruto

Shizu: But she owns this story and her OCs!

KM:...

_**Chapter 17**_

It was now a week since the surprising visit from Konoha and they were still there. Pein and co. tried to ignore them as much as possible. It worked the first days but when the duck ass was following Shana and Naruto around it was to much for them. They had to teach them a lesson. They couldn't let Shana visit them anymore because of that. Their place was nearly found because of that. Though they had to give her Deidara's old room. Konan had her fun with Shana and had learned something about their friend. She couldn't believe it when she first heard it. She didn't thought something like that was even possible. But Shana did prove her wrong.

Shana had the ability to listen to nature and animals. She could talk, hear and understand them. They first thought it was a Kekkei Genkai. But they then remembered that they hadn't heard something like that ever. Shana had only laughed when she told them all about that. Their expressions were quite to laugh at. She even told them that every family of her did not have this ability. Sure her family liked the nature but no body of them could do this. Zetsu had taken a liking to her in this very moment and asked her everything about plants. He himself was a plant lover. And to find someone who could talk with them was for him like Christmas.

Madara had still to recover from the beating Shana had given him after the Konoha nins had left. She had wanted from him an explanation after that beating. Konan had problems to heal him. She only had asked what had happened and sweat dropped when he told her the short version of it. He was bed written thanks to her for two weeks and it was only one week over. He had cursed her for that and still does. But it was most of the time ignored from the others. The only one who didn't ignore him was Shana who enjoyed to see Madara suffer for what he had said back then. She was his personal nurse that made his stay in bed turn to hell.

It was now Tuesday. Hidan and Kakuzu were out for a mission same goes for Naruto and Itachi. Hidan and Kakuzu were in search of money and a scroll. In the scroll was something that could cost them all their heads. It was information about them that no one should know about. It was important to get this scroll back before some shinobi village got their hands on it. Itachi and Naruto had the mission to find out who gathered those information about them. It was nothing easy for those two groups especially when you had fan girls after you're ass. And not any fan girls but Yaoi fan girls. That was the problem that Itachi and Naruto had. In every village those things somehow found them.

Hidan and Kakuzu had it easier. They only had to find the bloody person who had the scroll now and kill him or her on the spot. They didn't had any fan girls after them. Who would anyways? They are just too ugly to go after even for Yaoi. Besides who knows what is under that mask of Kakuzu. It could be dangerous. But then again he shouldn't be in Akatsuki. They all might get heart attacks when he goes around without his mask. But alas no body had died... yet. Though it must be safe.

Hidan and Kakuzu had found this person after a chase through Suna. They had cornered him in a club. It was there where the scroll should be handed over to someone. Hidan was to distracted with the topless women in the club. Though Kakuzu had to do it. It surprised him to see that is was Orochimaru who should get the scroll. After those two had starred at each other for quite some time. Kakuzu needed an explanation and a drink or two. Maybe even more although he would loose money that would it be worth it. After all it is not like you meet everyday someone like the Fruity snake dude in a bar.

Those two had left the club to go to the hotel in that Orochimaru stayed for his time in Suna. They had left Hidan back in the club. It looked like he liked it there anyways. Though why drag him with you when he will only complain about it? When they reached the room Orochimaru explained. From Sasuke and his betrayl, Konoha, alliance with Suna, ItaNaru Fan grils and Kabuto's vacation.

"So let me get this straight. Sasuke had betrayed you?" a nod " then you send Kabuto on vacation?" a nod "Tsunade had left the village and is here in Suna? She even tried to rape you when she was drunk?" a nod again "You now have an alliance with all the villages that are faithful to Naruto" a nod "And now you are here for a vacation and because Tsunade wouldn't let you go away?" a nod "That some serious shit dude!"

"I know!" cried Orochimaru "How do you think I feel!? It just so damn complicated!"

Kakuzu nodded and took a sip form the sake. Orochimaru was in serious shit here with Tsunade. It was looking like she would never let him go. Man when Naruto hears this he is going to die from laughing so hard. He was chuckling to himself. Yes that would be something. But then again he would have some pissed off Uchiha after him. Itachi was scary when something happened to his little Kitsune as was the rest of the Akatsuki. They were a big dysfunctional family. But a happy one. Even Shana was now one of them. Maybe not a member in the Akatsuki but a member of their family. She was sister everyone needed from time to time. Although she is younger then them she didn't care.

Hell she even kicked Pein's ass just because he was an ass to Zetsu one time. He didn't say anything against Zetsu and his plants anymore since then. And to think that had happened only after Madara's beating. And Pein is bed written for three weeks. He chuckled at the memory. Orochimari raised one of his fine eyebrow at the chuckle. He knew Kakuzu and Kakuzu only chuckled when it has something to do with money. But as far as he knew they didn't talk about money. Though why did he chuckle?

"Why the chuckle?" he asked.

"Well... " he wasn't so sure if he should tell but hell it was something that screamed to be shared with others. "We have met this one woman by the name of Shana. She isn't a Kunoichi but she can kick ass. That is for sure. You still remember Zetsu and his obsession with plants" when he saw Orochimaru nod he continued "Well Pein had a fit when he tripped over one of them again. But he didn't count on Shana to be there when he talked with Zetsu about it. She gave him a lecture that every mother would be proud of and spanked him! She actually spanked him! After that she kicked him in the balls and threatened to castrate him! She broke two ribs, his left arm, his whole right leg and gave him trauma of straw! He can't look at it anymore without bursting into tears!"

Kakuzu was on the floor now and gasping for air while laughing. Orochimaru was laughing too but not as hard as Kakuzu. That evening Kakuzu lost two hearts. Hidan was still in the club and had the time of his life.

Somewhere near Suna

Itachi was twitching and Naruto was laughing his ass of. Their target thought it would be funny to flirt with Itachi. He thought he was a girl with his looks. He even flirted with Naruto but it was not as bad as with Itachi. Their target was now dead. The head was sliced of curiously of a pissed off Uchiha Itachi. Naruto was nearly dieing because of that. Itachi was still glaring at the corpse of the now dead target in hopes it would burst into flames! Naruto had problems to breath but had calmed down now.

"Are you finished yet?" asked Itachi.

"Hai I am. But you have to admit it was funny! haha"

_`Here we go again_´ thought the Uchiha. If only he knew that the Kyuubi was laughing his ass of too. It was just something he couldn't let go easily. It's not like every day that someone says that THE Uchiha Itachi was a girl. Kyuubi thought that he was dieing because of it. In the end Itachi had to carry Naruto back to whatever it is place. On their way back a chill went down their spines. As if it was trying to tell them something would happen. Something awkward that is so hilarious it couldn't be even real. Something like Orochimaru and Tsunade being a couple. Oh if only they knew, if only they knew.

The journey back was normal. No Sasuke and Konoha nins. It was like they were never there to begin with. Maybe it had something to do with that they had taken an other way to the... place. I still don't know what to call it. Oh well. While on Itachi's shoulder and a good look at his ass from the position. Naruto always giggled. It was something that Itachi didn't like and before he even knew it Naruto groped him. He jumped and made Naruto more giggle. _`Hehehe that is fun_´ thought a giggling Naruto. Every time Itachi didn't thought with it Naruto groped or slapped his ass. And for the rest of the way we had a giggling Naruto and a jumping Itachi. That went like that for three days. That was the sight the others saw when they came back on the fourth day.

Shana already knew and squealed to that. The others backed away from her when they heard her squeal. They knew what it meant by now. She did it always when Deidara and Sasori were alone. Hell she even taped them but the had no proof. They saw her with a camera but the tapes were never found. They didn't dare to go in her room. First she could be there when they search for the tapes and second she always locked it. And when they got into her room and had time to search for them they didn't found them. The question was now: Where the fucking hell were those tapes? Sasori wanted those tapes and Shana knew it. But she didn't say him were they where. Not even Naruto and he was like her little brother.

They had knew that she was trouble. But that was just ridiculous. But hey they all had their odds and quirks. Zetsu looked like a plant, Pein was a living piercing, Deidara a bomber man, Sasori a puppet freak, Naruto was a Jinchuriki, Itachi had slaughters his very own kin, Hidan was an idiot and immortal, Kakuzu had five hearts and was a cheap asshole and Konan was... well Konan. Ans Kisame was a shark thing. Madara was well how to say this? An ass, old and the leader of the organization. With one crazy person more what would be the difference? Only this person wasn't a member but a sister. A very protective and sadistic sister. And ass to Madara.

"What was that?" asked Zestu the group.

"Don't know un. But we shouldn't g..." too late Shana was already there

"Too late Dei-chan. She is already there" said Sasori from the couch.

Deidara looked only at the place where Shana was and then to the door where Naruto and Itachi went through. The girl needed help. But the last time they send her to the funny farm. They released her only after five minutes. The caretaker were in tears and the patients were looking at Shana with hearts and stars in their eyes. They even bowed to her when she was leaving. To this day they still don't know what she did it to get out. It was a surprise for them when she was standing in front of them the same day with a grin. It was creepy. She arrived only after they had arrived there.

"I wonder when Hidan and Kakuzu are a..." but Konan was interrupted by loud cursing.

"YOU GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKER!? WHY THE BLOODY HELL DIDN'T YOU ASSHOLE SAY THAT FUCKING EARLIER!? uh hi shit heads" said Hidan when he and Kakuzu arrived in the living-room.

Haven't you noticed how they always are in the living-room when someone had finished a mission? I mean why are they all there? Don't they have a life or something like that? Oh well it's not like they miss something.

"Hidan" said Madara who was out of bed but with crutches. "What did you mean with why Kakuzu didn't say it earlier?"

Kakuzu was meanwhile out cold thanks to Hidan and his scythe. Who would have thought that they could be that useful even without using in a fight.

"The fucker over there told me that shit head Orochimaru had alliances with ALL the freaking villages that are bloody faithful to Naruto and is with the fucking ex-Godaime Hokage!" exclaimed Hidan. And before they knew it Naruto was standing there with Shana and Itachi. The good thing was both were dressed.

"Yes Ero-sennin owns me 60000 ryu!" said a happy blond who was dancing like he had won a million.

"What the..?!" was what Kisame said and summed completely up what the others thought.

"Blondie needs help!" said Shana bluntly. "oh yeah and Madara don't forget I still haven't forgive for this mate thing back then!"

Madara was sweating. He had hoped she had forgotten about it but no such luck for him. He knew that he had only a few days left and that she was going to make it hell for him. Why was it him? He was so nice to her wasn't he? OK maybe not when he had her in a head log, or his thoughts about killing her, or when he said she was an idiot for getting this Roman guy after her. OK maybe he wasn't that nice to her but it wasn't his fault. She was the one who always started it. Although he was the one who calls her dope, idiot, wench, onna and other things. Yes he was truly nice to her.

Hidan began to tell them what Kakuzu had told him. But with more vocabulary. Who knew that Hidan had such a big vocabulary in swear and curse words. Kyuubi scoffed when he heard those words. Such words he only used when he was a bit angered but when pissed off Hidan would blush. Kyuubi still was a bit traumatize from the actions Itachi and Naruto had done the previous night. Who would have thought that you could use ice-cream in that way. Kyuubi certainly didn't and in all honestly he hadn't wanted to know.

"You mean to tell me that Orochimaru.." Hidan nodded to Zetsu's question.

"Yeah and those fuckers drank sake without me!" he whined.

They starred at him. Hidan did not just whine. Something that they all were sure he hadn't learned in all of his life. Not even when he was just a child. While Naruto, Deidara and Kisame were laughing their asses of because of the whining Hidan. Konan went to Pein and Madara had to deal with Shana. The poor man he will never be the same again when she is finished with him. While the three were laughing Itachi again carried Naruto to his room. They both still didn't knew which room should be 'their' room. But it seemed that it would be Itachi's.

Now it were only two. And the way Hidan looked they wouldn't have something to laugh anymore. The immortal had a murderous aura and was cackling evilly. Deidara had luck that Sasori came and rescued him in time. Kisame hadn't such luck. When he felt the aura and saw how Hidan was looking at him with that glint in his eyes. That he had only when he did is rituals. He gulped. No today was not his day. While Hidan was laughing like a lunatic and Kisame praying that he lived through this Sasori and Deidara went to their rooms. Although it was tempting to see Kisame crying like baby. They had other things to do like planning Shana's birthday.

Yes they knew when it is. They wanted to throw a big ass party for her. But first they had to scare those Konoha idiots away. Why can't they get it that Naruto is mated happily to Itachi and that Shana plain hates them no she loathed them. Her reason was because they made her lil' Naru-chan cry and because he's afraid of the Kono-whatever guys. That was the name she had given them. Idiot was too nice for them she had said. They made their way to Pein's room for the meeting. They had luck that Madara kept her busy. Even if he didn't volunteered he had no other choice to do so.

"So danna what do you think she would like un?" asked Deidara as they entered the room.

Itachi and Naruto were already there with Kakuzu and Zetsu.

"Oh and Hidan and Kisame will come later un"

"Why?" asked Pein but his question was answered with a loud scream that sounded like Kisame. "Oh" was all he said.

"So what should we do? I know that she likes the nature and animals. But hates Madara!" said Naruto form his place in Itachi's lap.

"We could have a little party in the meadow but the Konoha shinobis would be a problem!" said Konan

"**I could eat them**" said Zetsu's black half. "NO. They may be annoying but we can't eat them! Why not trick them?"

"That might be not a bad idea but how?" asked Kakuzu who was counting his money and thinking how much he would loose through this.

"Let that be our problem un! I have already the perfect plan un!" said the wannabe bomber man. Sasori rolled his eyes. It was clear to him that Deidara would say this. Naruto couldn't do this for obvious reasons. Who knows what the chicken butt will do.

"Well that is taken care of. Now what about the things we need?" said Itachi to the group. "We all know that she likes sweets."

"Yeah she worships it. Like it would be a god. And I had thought you guys had a sweet tooth but you guys against her are nothing!" said Pein.

They nodded to that. But they still needed more ideas for her and the presents. What should they give her? Was the biggest question. No one knew it exactly. Maybe they could get Madara to talk to her. She is after all his nurse. Although the nurse from hell for him.

With the nurse from hell

Shana was humming to herself. Yes Madara wouldn't know what has happened to him. She smirked and then entered his room. Now to bring the plan into action. Madara was sitting on his bed like a frightened kitten. She was not normal. She can't be normal. No one in their minds could be that evil. Hell she even wears a polo shirt with the words `**We Bugs get the world domination Muwhahahahahah**´ the girl was clearly not normal.

"What have you planned onna?" he asked her warily.

She only turned to him grinning. Uhu he didn't like this. Nope, not one bit the way she is smiling. It said to him 'I know something you don't!' and that is always not a good sign for him. She made her way slowly over to him all the while grinning like a madman. He tried to get away from her but his condition didn't allowed him to go any further away from her. While he was trapped on the bed with no way away he had a mental breakdown. He just couldn't believe that a mere woman got the best of him. Him an Uchiha. It was so sad.

"hehe little Madara is trapped" she sang.

Now Madara wished someone would come and help him. But no one came and now the nurse from hell was giggling like there was no tomorrow. Why him? He whimpered and was glad when she backed away from him. She sighed and looked at Madara _`I think that is enough! But I want an explanation from him!?_´ she thought angrily. No way in hell would she let him leave without an explanation to her. She wanted to know why he did that back then. It is not like he likes her in any way she knew of.

"I want from you an explanation why you did say this back with those wannabe nins" she bluntly said with a blank look to him.

"Well I could have let you go with them and the chicken butt. But I think you wouldn't have like it. That is why"

"I wanted to know why _**YOU**_ did it and not what _**I**_ wanted to this time" she growled at him. _`Busted_´ he thought.

"Hn. I erhm well..." he didn't knew how to say it. Sure he knew the words but saying and knowing are two different things. _`Kuso! What should I do?_´ he thought. He was panicking in the inside but on the outside he was calm.

_`Hehee gotcha Madara!? Now how will you get out of this?_´ she thought with a laugh.

Madara was still in his little world and came only back when Shana screamed into his ear. He jumped and fell out of the bed. He cursed Shana under his breath with his ever being for this.

"Damn it onna!? What the hell was that for!?"

Said onna looked at him and then slapped him for the onna part.

"Well love ya too shit head" she said in a cheerful voice and giggled when he growled.

At Madara's door

Naruto, Deidara and Konan were leaning at the door and trying to hear what is going on in there. It was interesting to hear Madara stutter. It was very well known the Uchiha founder don't stutter but here was an other story. Itachi and Sasori were both leaning at the wall and rolling their eyes at the behaviour of their mate or boyfriend. Zetsu just melted into the wall and therefor had a better place to listen and see them.

"Cheater" mumbled Konan and huffed.

Back inside and Zetsu and the camera

Shana was now sitting on the bed and waited and waited and waited. Till she had enough. She did the next best thing to get Madara back to planet earth.

Welcome my dear readers to who will win the million. The million dollar or euro or whatever currency you have. Will she do:

A) kick him in the nuts

B) kiss him

C) tell him she's going to Sasuke

D) slap him

or E) nothing of the above and she will just empty a bucket full of ice water on him.

You have three minutes... OK times up. And the answer is B. Yes I know my favorite was E but Ray, Kai and Shizu were the ones who wanted it that way. Everyone who guessed wrong. I apologize sincerely especially to the ones with answer E. Damn but next time. Till the next episode of our little quiz.

Zetsu filmed it all and snickered to himself when he saw Madara's wide eyes. The way she handled him and he reacted. It was just too good. When the others would see this they wouldn't let him live this one down! Although Madara would beat the crap out of him. But it would be worth it. He left as soon as he got this. He didn't want to be found out. When he was again outside he mention for the others to follow him back to Pein.

When they reached Pein's room. Kisame and Hidan were now there too. Pein had explained them everything. When everyone was seated Zetsu just showed them the video. Itachi starred blankly at the wall, Deidara, Naruto and Konan squealed like the women they are and Pein smirked. Yes Madara will be beating the living shit out of Zetsu but hell the video and his reaction was it worth. But it all came to a stop when Naruto cleared his throat. They looked at him and what they heard gave them nearly heart attacks.

"Guys I'm leaving. I'm going to be an actor and you can see me in tv!" Naruto said seriously. And that is something. He only is serious when it is something grave.

It was a dead silence. No one dared to move, breath, blink and say something. It was as if you would break a law and the police with ANBU would come to get them. Till they heard a chuckle and that soon turned into a full out blown laughing. Naruto was laughing that hard it hurt him in the stomach and had tears in his eyes

"P-plea-hahahaa please hahaha m-ma-hahaha _gasp_ haha _wheeze_ haha make i-it aahahaha s-stop haha i-it hu-hahaha rts haha _pant wheeze_ s-ahaha o haha mu-hahaha much haaha"

Kyuubi was roaring with laughter along side with Naruto. It was just too much to take in. Their faces were the best thing at this. It was like their parents had found out they had done something bad and would be now scolded for this. When the others finally got what Naruto meant they twitched. The little Kitsune got them there. They really had thought that Naruto would leave them behind. With the face Naruto had made it was so real and did not seem like a joke. But Naruto is a Kitsune at heart and Kitsune love to play pranks. Honestly Naruto is a prankster at heart that much was clear to them.

It had taken a good hour for Naruto to calm down. But thanks to Kyuubi and his comments about their faces and reactions it wasn't an easy task. Itachi was starring at him and Naruto didn't like it but before something could happen Pein cleared his throat. Every ones gaze was now on him.

"It's all quite nice and dandy and so but we have discuss the birthday party from her!"

KM:... Why are my other personalities here?

Ray: I was worried about you and it's nice here.

Kai: _mutters_ Like the girl she is. No wonder she _**is**_ the girly part from KM!

Shizu: Like you are her blood lust eh?

Mada: Do we even want to know why she has so many

Kai: NO

Kyuu: O....K....

Naru: Please R&R!

Ita: And special thanks to Sparky-kun for the idea with the actor and leaving Akatsuki!


	18. Chapter 18

KM:... I hate it!

Mada: We know you do!  
Naru: man that bad?

Kai: Yup it is

Shizu: I have a feeling I will regret asking this but why?

Kai: _in a cheerful voice_ Because she wants to see blood, destruction, chaos and wants the world domination!

Ray: Ehhhww I didn't need to hear this!  
Kyuu: _sighs_ Why me

Ita: You are not alone. Anyways Km does NOT own Naruto

Ray: But she owns this story and her OCs.

Kai: Enjoy!?

KM:.... I want ice-cream!

the others: _sweat drop and back away_

_**Chapter 18**_

It was now the time to get their plan into action. Deidara and Sasori had left the base and were now in search of the Konoha losers. Deidara was getting bored and did the next best thing to do. And that was to make bombs and annoy the living hell out of a certain puppeteer. Said puppeteer did not like the way his girlfriend erhm I mean boyfriend was starring at him. It was spelling trouble and a big headache for him. _`I know I will regret this but it's better than what he is planning!_´ he whined in his head.

"Please Deidara whatever you want to do you can do later! Besides we are here!" he said _`Puh saved from those losers_´

Deidara looked ahead and saw said losers. He grinned and was running in their direction now. That would be fun. He knew exactly what he will do. His Danna only had to play along. _`This will be fun!?_´ he laughed and jumped into the clearing.

It was a nice surprise for the Konoha shinobis when they saw how an unknown woman jumped into their clearing. But what surprised them the most was that she wore an Akatsuki cloak and had a red head as companion with her. Said companion wore an Akatsuki cloak too and had an emotionless face. Sasuke starred at them and was in a fighting position along with the others. They wanted to have some answer now. They wanted to know why Tsunade left, why Naruto was with them and why they were now attacked by them.

"Ne Danna un?" said the blond woman who had a voice form a male. It surprised them.

"Hn?" answered the red head and looked at his partner.

"Can I a blow them un? Or better yet say them why Naru-chan is with us un?"

"Do what you want Dei-chan" he said in an emotionless voice.

The voice was so cold that it send shivers down their spines but it seemed to not bother the blond woman. The blond woman turned to them and grinned. Sasuke didn't trust this grin but what they heard next was something they hadn't expect. It was just so unreal.

"You know Naru-chan hates you right un? He told us his story and what you have done to him un." here 'she' shakes 'her' head "He told us that he didn't want to go back even when you would promise him to be Hokage un! It has shocked us un! He said to us he was happy here with us un. And we can't let you have him un not after that shit you put him through un!" at the end to 'her' lecture 'her' voice went as cold as ice.

'Her' eyes showed no joy or happiness they had before. Now they were cold as steal. 'She' clenched her fists and was glaring at them. Sasori was smirking at the sidelines. He would let Deidara do it. He knew that Deidara itches to do it since the time he had heard it back then.

Deidara went directly in front of Sasuke and punched him in the guts that sent him flying backwards. Before they could even react he was in front of Neji and taught him how to fly. Sakura was the next one along with Ino. Before both knew where Deidara was they heard an explosion and had serious injuries. They didn't even had to do anything and were panting hard. The smoke was to much for them that they couldn't breath normal. Kakashi and the other Jounins couldn't do anything to help them. Sasori kept them busy with his puppets. He smirked at the way Deidara handled them. But it was all too soon over.

"What no one wants more un? And you are a shinobis un? It's pathetic what you are un! You are shame to us shinobi un!" said a pouting Deidara and grinned at the end at them.

"It seems so Dei-chan and please don't forget why we are here!" said Sasori in his monotone voice.

They still didn't knew the names form those two. But they knew this when only those two had the power to take them down that easily what can then do all of them together? Deidara nodded to Sasori and cleared his throat.

"Yes Danna un. We are here to tell you un that Naruto isn't coming back with you un. He is happy with us un. And when you don't leave un you will regret meeting us un" he said in cheerful voice to them. With that they both left them.

The Konoha shinobis had a hard time to get up do to their injuries. They hadn't a choice in the end. They had to leave to treat those injuries of them. Sure Sakura, Hinata and Ino are medic nins but they haven't enough chakra to heal all of them. Sasuke looked longing in the direction where those two had vanished in. He wanted the dope and the girl. No one will get in his way. He will ge them but first came his injuries and then those two.

Back with the telletubbies ARGH I mean the Akatsuki yes that was their name ^^;;;

Deidara reached the base and went straight for Pein's room to tell him that those losers wouldn't be a problem anymore. Sasori went in search of Kakuzu, Hidan and Zetsu. It was their duty to set everything up and besides no one wanted to hear how Kakuzu whined about the lost money for this. Though those three had go through this. Because they were the only ones who wouldn't go on a killing spree when they hear him complain.

Naruto had the task to bake a cake and Itachi and Madara should keep Shana away form the base as long as possible. It was working till now but they knew it wouldn't work any longer. Shana just was that person. She had ADHD... worse than Naruto. She hated when someone told her what she had to do. Konan was wrapping the presents. She was the only one who could do it. It seemed that the boys were to stupid to do it. She was glad that at least Naruto and Itachi knew how to do it. She wasn't so sure about Madara although his present was already wrapped when he gave it to her. They had all said that Konan should hide them.

Shana was bored and that is something dangerous. Really dangerous. The last time she was bored like this she destroyed the kitchen with only a coke. Well to say it bluntly with a coke bomb. Hey how was she supposed to know that shaking and then putting cokes in a microwave to heat them isn't a good combination? Nope she didn't knew it. But it was funny to see Kakuzu break down like that. He still isn't over it yet. She snickered when she thought about it.

Itachi and Madara didn't like the way Shana was laughing. Nope, not one bit. It was always trouble then. They knew how Shana was in pranks she was even worse than Naruto and that said something. Hell Naruto is even learning from her. He is worshipping her. Now they had double trouble and they had finally accepted Naruto's attitude but now her?! It was too much for them. Two pranksters will be getting the better of them. Hell they already have. They looked both at each other and when they did that Shana took that chance to leave.

They had shared a silent message. They wanted to go with her to the park and let her have fun there but when they turned back and didn't find her they panicked. That was not good. Nope, not good at all. They had knew something would happen today something bad and it did. Now Shana was missing and is doing Kami knows what. And the best part about it is that she is on sugar. Shana and sugar aren't a good combination. It never is. Not after they had to find out the hard way about it. It was not a good memory.

Meanwhile Shana was in the park and pulled some pranks on the poor people there. They never knew what had hit them. Before they could do something against it she was already at her next victim. It was good an hour later and she was low on sugar. That was when Madara and Itachi found her. She was sitting on a swing and looking at the sky. Madara and Itachi looked at each other and then sighed the woman was handful and hard to keep an eye on. When they reached her they immediately gave her a lecture. But she wasn't listening.

`_Mhmm maybe I should give Hidan a new hairstyle? His old one does look shitty on him. Naru-chan wants to help me in this I am sure of this! Now to Sharky what to do? Wha..._´but her thoughts were interrupted by something shiny. "Oh shiny" she exclaimed while Madara was giving his lecture and the next Itachi and him knew was Shana had speed of to a tree.

They both groaned. That was exactly what they needed now. Oh why had they agreed to this. Oh yeah because both of them didn't knew how to cook, Deidara and Sasori had already taken the best of the tasks, they didn't want to wrap some presents and the decoration thing was not their thing. Man Pein had it good. But then again they didn't want the bloody shit beat out of them though they can relax. Why hadn't they given her just some sugar and then went to the park in the first place? It would have been this much easier for them. With a loud groan they went after her. Who knows what she would do next to cause chaos and destruction?

When they find her next it was almost time to go back to the base thingy. It had taken them the whole morning and midday to keep her occupied. It was now 5:44 p.m. and they had said they would be back at 5:55 p.m. `_SHIT_´ they thought they only had ten minutes left. And with Shana not being trained in the shinobi arts they wouldn't make it in time. Though it gave only one way. That was to carry her. But the question was who should carry her. Itachi smirked it was time that Shana and Madara take it a notch up with their 'relationship' and with that he left.

"Ita.." but before Madara could ask him he noticed that he had left. "Damn Weasel! I knew he did this on purpose! Oh when I get my hands on him.." he muttered to himself. He sighed heavy and went over to Shana "Come we have to get back we have only ten minutes left!"

"And how am I supposed to make it on time" she asked him annoyed. She didn't question him about the ten minutes thing. She knew that they had planned something and had to be back at an assigned time.

Madara actually rolled his eyes and got to his knees with his back towards her "Get on I'll carry you" he said annoyed.

She looked warily at him. She didn't trust him. After all they had a vendetta going on between only themselves. Who said her that he doesn't drop her on their way to the base thingy. "Whatever but drop me and I will make sure that you can't have children clear!"

"Yes sir and now get on. I don't want to listen to Konan when we are late" with that said she got on but not without kicking him in the rips. He turned his head to glare at her "What was that?"

She gave him an innocent look to that he snorted. Yeah she sure is an angel... not. She was on his back and huffed "Fine you got me there and I am sooo sorry about it"

He snorted to that and took to the trees. It would do them nothing good to argue now. They had already lost time. The time they needed.

With the others in the meadow

Everything was ready. The lanterns and engarlands were hanging in the branches. They were in all colors and the food was set on the middle of the meadow. Everything was there. From cake to plain chips. The drinks was from water to sake. Naruto had done his best in it. Konan had put out the presents on an extra table. Pein was actually there too but in a wheel chair. Deidara and Sasori were at sidelines and watched how Naruto gave everything the last touch. He was only a blur them and it was quite interesting to watch him. It was to that time Itachi arrived. He rose an eyebrow at what he saw. He hadn't seen Naruto move this fast not even on a mission or in a spar.

Kakuzu and Hidan had bet in which time Naruto would be finished and it seemed that Hidan with winning with his 3 minutes. Kakuzu was already saying good bye to his money. He was thinking that Hidan had cheated. But he also knew that Hidan hadn't the brains for it to do so. When he had luck Naruto needed 4 minutes instead the of 3 and then he won. But he wasn't so sure if it was money that he would then get. Like he knew Hidan it was a way for swearing or other... things. He shuddered at the thought and shook his head to loose them. That was not something he needed now.

Pein and Konan were blinking at the spots they had last seen Naruto the few minutes well seconds. It was still something knew to him. Who would have thought that Naruto was that fast. After the four minutes yes four and that means Kakuzu won the bet. `_Yes Hidan the bitch owns me 55440 ryu!?_´ thought a somewhat happy Kakuzu. Well you couldn't tell it with the mask in his face. Now after the four minutes were over it was finally finished and Naruto stood there like nothing at all had happened.

It was now only a matter of one minute that Madara would arrive with her in the meadow. And they were right. Just after the one minute was over they arrived. But what did surprise them was that they didn't argue like they always did when they were alone. It was quiet and scary at the same time. It was something unusual for them. It's not every day that they are this... peaceful and don't do anything to kill each other. Sometimes they wondered if they weren't already wed. But then they remembered how they all met at the festival.

Shana was blinking at the back form Madara. Wha the..?! was that what went through her had this moment. Before she could ask them what it was about. She heard them happy birthday saying. "huh" was the only thing that went through her head this moment. Till the words reached her brain. Then it went like this. "Oh yeah today is my birthday. I totally forgot about it!"

They fell over anime style with a big- no a huge sweat drop. Madara had the luck to not fell over because of the bundle that was still on his back. It's only the way you are looking at it. The only thing that went through their heads was `_How the hell can someone forget their own birthday!?_´ Shana grinned sheepishly at them. Well she had totally forgotten about when she went with Itachi and Madara out. She had her fun although they hadn't. She had liked it what she could do back then to the poor people in the park.

"Eh sorry?" she said well more asked them.

"Forget it" said Konan with a wave of her hand "Let us just have fun here okay?" when she got a nod form Shana and Hidan and Kisame saw this they ran over to the food and sake. What a surprise.

"You would think that it's their birthday at how they act here" Pein muttered to them. They nodded on agreement. "We should stop them before they have eaten everything and nothing left for us!"

"STOP RIGHT THERE GUYS OR YOU WILL LOOSE WHAT MADE YOU GUYS TO MAN!?" shouted Shana. The others starred at her. She turned to them and then said clam "What?"

Talk about mood swings she was worse than Konan. And that is something. Especially Konan is the queen or king of mood swings. I would say she is now the queen when Shana is the king. Oh well the guys have then to suffer and not them. Yes all power to the women. They should achieve the world domination Mwahahaha -coughcough- erhm yes anyways those two stopped immediately their... eating and didn't even move one muscle. It made Konan, Naruto and Shana giggle. Itachi just shook his head and went with Naruto to the food. Pein was rolling his eyes at them. `_Children_´ he thought.

Kakuzu had somehow overcome his depresssion about the loose of the money and was now drinking and eating with them. For this night and the next day well they would forget about everything. Although they do it already everyday where is there the difference now?. Ah well maybe because they don't drink themselves brainless then? Who knows. They had even music there to dance Itachi was the first one with his little mate to dance and then Konan and Pein... also Pein was in his wheel chair. Hidan and Kakuzu had to dance together and Zetsu and Kisame. Shana was laughing her ass off because of that. Madara was just smirking.

Meanwhile the others tried to think of a plan to get those two to dance together. It was something impossible and they knew it but they would be damned if they didn't tried it... and die if they found out about it. The keyword is IF. Hopefully they don't. Deidara and Sasori were waiting for the signal from them to drag Shana and Madara to the dance floor Sasiro Shana and Deidara Madara. Well Deidara would have some fun... also known as pain when Madara remembered correctly what the terrorist had done to him. Poor Dei-chan.

Anyways as Sasori had somehow gotten Shana on the dance floor and ,Deidara was still figuring out how to get Madara on it, Sasori had asked her the question everyone wanted to ask her since it. She had blinked and then shrugged and said to him. "Because I could" and that was it.

The others hung their heads although they tried not to show it. Deidara was still on the sidelines with Madara who was boiling in the inside when he saw how Sasori and Shana danced. He didn't knew why he was boiling when he saw them and knew that he didn't like it and the feeling because of it. Fortunately Deidara saw this and got this glint in his eyes. Now he knew how to do it. He went to Madara and asked him if he wanted to dance and when yes he could switched him with Shana. He saw how Madara to this nodded also absently. He knew they would be a step closer.

Deidara gave Sasori the sign who gave it Konan, Itachi and Naruto. Those three grinned and Pein got the feeling that they were doomed if Madara should ever find out. He was lucky that he didn't had his hands in it. He was the only who wasn't in it. He sighed and rolled away from them. He wanted to be as far away as possible form there. Though he was standing besides the food the safest place... yet.

When Deidara got Madara finally on the dance floor and Sasori and him got them in the position ot switch they vanished to the others.

"Finally and here I thought it would never work!" said Konan. Naruto and Itachi had went to the buffet and Hidan and Kakuzu had already drunk themselves in the oblivious. Kisame and Zestu had an eating contest and Konan was standing with Pein. Sasori and Deidara were still dancing and Itachi and Naruto had rejoined them after they got something to bit.

"Konan do you think it's wise to play matchmaker with them?" asked Pein after a while and some sake.

"They need the help. Especially Madara! You know he needs a woman in his life!" she told him "Shana is the only woman who had waken his interest! Besides they look good together!" she flipped him on the forehead and giggle when Pein frowned to that.

"Why do I get the feeling that the others had planned this?" asked Shana Madara. He only shrugged and continued to dance with her. "You really need help with your socail life and people skills!"

"Hn" she rolled her eyes to that. Madara smiled slightly to that. It was so easy to anger her like this. It always brought a smile to his face.

She hit him on the arm and chuckled when he glared at her. She only smiled innocently at him. She knew already that he didn't buy it but she could still try it. The other on the sideline smiled at their behaviour. It was the first time since the festival that they acted normal to each other. Well as normal as they can act and be. While those three couples danced Hidan and Kakuzu were out cold on the floor. Konan had kicked them even to see if they are still able to do something. From the lack of reaction they don't she assumed.

"Stop it Konan" said Pein to her. She pouted to him it was fun. He only sighed and shook his head at her. "You know what will happen whe they get back right?"

She nodded. Of course she knew. Those two would always have a fight after such a drinking contest. No one was then safe from them. Well maybe Madara but he knew where he had to go when this happened. The others not and when yes then they were on a mission. "Do you think we should ban every alcohol form the base to get them clean from it?"

Pein thought about. It would do them good and their money. And don't forget the mission would go better when they are sober and not drunk like Barney. Hell even Barney is sober against them and he is always drunk. Konan looked again to the dance floor and was surprised that Shana and Madara were still not at each others throat and tried kill each other or do other things. Who knows what they could do to kill each other.

They had the fantasy for this. "Ne Pein? Why is it that Kakuzu and Hidan always drink when we do something like this?"

Pein shrugged "Maybe because they don't have a woman or a love life. They need one!"

"Yup but I don't think someone could love them. How they act it is a wonder if and I mean IF they got one woman or still aren't virgins!" Pein nodded to that. It was true.

On the dance floor Itachi and Sasori had nodded to each other. Those two needed alone time. They both guided Naruto and Deidara back to the base. Kisame and Zetsu had already left those two didn't want to be killed like Pein from Shana and Madara. Hidan and Kakuzu were dragged along from them and Konan and Pein were the last one to left. They wanted to make sure that the Konoha nins weren't near. It seemed that Kisame and Zetsu had destroyed the food nothing was left.

When those tow had left Madara and Shana looked around and noticed how they were alone. But it didn't matter they only listened to the music and danced with each other. Also it was something new to not to kill each other while doing so. She enjoyed this moment and leaned her head on Madara's chest. He rested his head in hers what was quite easy for him and sighed. How come that they could get along this fine for this one night but not the other days? It was a mystery to him. He tightened his arms around her and let an other sigh out.

Meanwhile the others looked on form the sidelines. Better known as trees and bushes. Konan, Deidara and Naruto sighed at the sight before them. They knew that they had to get back but those two need a few moments alone. Itachi, Pein and Sasori rolled their eyes at the behaviour of their women. Itachi smirked a little. He hadn't forgotten what Naruto had said back then in Pein's room. He will have his fun. Also it meant that Naruto couldn't walk for a week, had a sore butt and he wouldn't be able to touch his little mate for a month. But it would be worth it. Besides it's not like Naruto wouldn't enjoy it. Sasori backed away when he saw how Itachi smirked. He didn't like it and Pein seemed to agree with him in it. They both thought that whoever had done something to him will pay dearly. Well Naruto will.

Back in the meadow Madara and Shana had stopped the dancing and seemed to talk with each other. It was normal. `_Why can't this be always like this_´ she thought. It was peaceful and no one attacked them, no Konoha wannabe nins and fighting between her and Madara. She sighed and leaned against Madara. `_Well I could give him a chance_´ she thought as she looked at him with a grin. Madara had looked down when Shana had leaned against him and looked at her with a raised brow. When he saw her grin he blushed a little. It was just a normal grin. Not the ones she normally had. The ones that are spelling trouble, chaos and destruction.

He had decided that he liked her more that way and not the sadist she is with him usually. `_She is nice when she doesn't try to kill me_´ he thought. He smiled slightly and held her her to him. In this moment the others came back and sighed at the sence before them. Naruto, Konan and Deidara squealed and Itachi, Sasori and Pein tried to not bang their heads against the nearest tree they could find. Why is it that they have such women? They sighed and took their seats at the table. Well Kisame and Zetsu had left something but not much.

"I say we call pizza!" said Hidan who was awake now and was hungry. He glared at Kisame and Zetsu "Because **some** fuckers of us had to just bloody eat everything though that we others had fucking nothing to freaking eat!"

"As much as I hate to admit it the white dude is right!" said Shana with a glare to them but then said in a happy voice "And they should pay!"

Deidara had a cell in his hand and got weird starres form all but Naruto and Shana. Hey a woman always has her cell with her! "What un!?"

They blinked and didn't dare to question those three. It shouldn't surprise them anymore with these three. Deidara called the pizza and other stuff while the other talked. Well question Shana and Madara. It was only an hour later when the food arrived and Zetsu and Kisame got a look that dared them to do an eating contest again. All in all the evening was fun. But Naruto would be sore for over a week and Itachi would have to sleep on the couch alone. Deidara and Sasori would never remember when they got married that night. Only when they see the wedding bands. Kakuzu and Hidan would found themselves in Oto. Naked. How you don't want to know believe me. Zetsu and Kisame will find themselves in a circus and Konan is somewhere in Hi no Kuni.

And that would be all thanks to Madara and Shana who go their infromation from a living piercing. They would be the only ones in the base thingy. Yes the birthday was a good one and the revenge was the best in it.

KM:....

Mada:_ waves hand in front of her face_ ... Someone home?

Naru: I think she hates it

Kai: She does

Ray: Oh Madara that was sooo cute with you and her _hearts in eyes_

Kyuu: The girl is not normal!

Ita: _nods _Yes please R&R!

Shizu: Yes please do!  
KM:... I want cookies!

Mada: _sigh_


	19. Chapter 19

KM: _stares at the others_ I am getting better guys really! _sweat drops_

Mada: I don't believe you

Kyuu: _stares_ sure you are _rolls eyes_

Naru: Oi guys you should do the disclaimer!

KM,Mada,Kyuu: _aren't even listening_

Ita: I think they didn't hear you. _sigh_ KM does NOT own Naruto!

KM: BUT my youthful friends I own this youthful story and it's youthful OCs!  
Mada: She was too much around Gai and Lee!

Kyuu,Naru,Ita: _nod_

_**Chapter 19**_

It was the next day and we find Madara, Pein and Shana sitting in the kitchen. It seems pretty normal to you but it isn't when all three of them are laughing like lunatics. Yes that's right and that was the scene Itachi and Naruto saw when they entered the kitchen. It was not normal. Shana and Madara weren't at each others throat and were acting normal. Well as normal as those to can be. When the laughter died down Shana looked in their direction.

"Ohayou" was the only thing she said. Madara and Pein grunted a 'hn' as greeting. Which earned both of them slaps and she glared at them "You both can talk though do it!"

They both mumbled an 'Ohayou' and were now sulking. Naruto and Itachi sweat dropped and took a seat at the kitchen table. Naruto looked around and noticed how the others were missing.

"Where are the others?" asked Naruto them with a raised golden brow. He didn't got an answer from them.

"I think they have done something. Something evil" said Itachi and smirked at Naruto. It was good that they had left yesterday or today before those two got their hands on them. But it didn't mean that they were safe now and he knew it.

It was silent after this statement. Madara was surprised that Itach knew that they had done it. But then again he was one of them who had planned with them. Hey they had deserved it what they had planned for them. He sighed and turned around to look out of the window. The sun was out and he smirked it should be now the time that Oto must be awake and Hidan and Kakuzu are found. `_Damn and I can't see their reaction to this_´ he chuckled `_Mhmm what Zetsu and Kisame must think?_´

In that moment Deidara and Sasori entered the kitchen and got weird looks. The others had seen the wedding bands and Shana smirked. They others saw this and knew there would come something to this. It always did.

"Oh my! How was the wedding night for the both you of you?" she asked them with a sly smirk. They both blinked confused `_Wedding night..?_´

It then made click by them. They looked at their hands then each other and got wide eyes. No way in hell had they married!? It was a shock for them and Deidara fainted on the spot. Sasori was glued on the spot and had wide eyes. His mouth was a gape. He was a statue.

"Well that was not the reaction I had hoped for!" pouted Shana. Madara let his head hit the table and Pein, Naruto and Itachi sweat dropped and backed away from them. "Ne Madara whatcha thinking?" she asked the Uchiha.

"Hn" was the muffled replay from the table. She rolled her eyes and smacked him. She was satisfied when he grunted in pain and rubbed his head. He glared at her and she glared right back.

The others left those two alone and did whatever the hell they wanted to do. No one was there they could annoy and besides the base thingy was empty but of them. Though they had their fun in there.

With Kisame and Zetsu

Kisame and Zetsu woke up in cage that was surrounded by people that were watching them. Kisame got a tick mark on his temple and glared at them. Zetsu licked his lips and got an hungry look in his eyes. But what they heard the next gave them the rest and they fell over and twitched.

"Mommy? What are those things?" asked a little boy while pointing at them.

"Don't be rude Taka! They are living being that have feelings too. But don't go near them or they eat you!" said Taka's mother warningly to him. The boy nodded.

Zestu and Kisame wanted to kill something- no, not something someone. They already knew those someones. Shana and Madara would pay for this.

Oto

"ARGH"

"FUCK!?"

That was heard through the whole Sound village when Hidan and Kakuzu woke up. Around them was a crowed that was pointing at them. Some were laughing and others were glaring. Those others were mothers that didn't want their children to see something like that. Who could blame them? There are two naked guys in the middle of the street. It was then that the naked dudes were attacked by said mothers. With sticks, brooms, mops etc.

_Times skip one week and a half day_ (KM:Yes I am a lazy bastard and I am proud of it) Kitchen

Shana and Madara were still sitting in the kitchen and had started a staring contest last week. They hadn't blinked, talked, went to the toilet or ate for that matter. It was now only a matter of time till the other would give in. Hidan and Kakuzu arrived to this sence and thank Kami-sama they wore clothes. Kisame and Zetsu had somehow escape the circus and saw the same scene. In front of them were the others and watching Shana and Madara stare at each other.

"What is going on?" asked Konan who came into the kitchen and saw this.

"Well Shana and Madara have started a starring contest un..." said Deidara

"They have started it a week ago..." Sasori continued

"They haven't eaten, blinked, talked or went to the toilet since then..." Naruto

"We have bets on them who will win..." Pein

Itachi was silent. He had Naruto in his lap and his head leaning on his shoulder. It was somewhat entertaining to watch them but he knew that it was only a matter of time and who would win. There it was a blink and Madara lost. Shana jumped onto the table danced.

"YES I WON! NOW YOU HAVE TO DO WHATEVER I WANT YOU TO DO!" she shouted and then grinned at him but it vanished as fast as it came "I call the bathroom!" and with that she was gone.

Madara grumbled under his breath. `_Damn her_´ and he went to his room. The others starred blankly at the places Shana and Madara had just stand a few minutes ago. It was then that Pein wanted to know where the others were and thus starting a very embarrassing moment of them adn their lives. They had to tell those moments again. Naruto was laughing along side with Deidara when he heard this. Kisame and Zetsu in a circus and on their way back to the base a zoo thought they were animals trying to flee. Hidan and Kakuzu had to travel back in nothing. Konan had it far better but on her way back she was nearly burned alive.

Deidara had long ago passed out while hearing Hidan and Kakuzu's story. Naruto was eating cookies and Itachi looked on. Sasori had chuckled here and there but not much. Pein had shook his head and was glad that it wasn't him that had to go through this.

It was then that Shana came back with Madara on a lesh trailing behind her. His head hung and he muttered something about 'killing Shana for this' they weren't so sure with that . If they heard right then they knew a war would brake out between those two. Shana had a grin in her face that was that creepy that it looked almost normal to them. But that was it. Naruto went slowly over to her and wanted to ask her why she was grinning like that when she leaned into him and whispered into his ear. His eyes widened at what he heard and he giggled. Though that was the reason why she was grinning like that.

Madara will a have a trauma after this he was sure about this. It was just too evil to even say it. When something like this happened to him he would vanish form the planet. Something like this is always hurtful to every men prides. He laughed when he imagined Madara in this. It was something that didn't go with his personally and never will.

"Soo..." she drawled "Wanna help me?" a nod was her answer and off they were.

Pein and the others didn't get what this was about. But it must have something to do with Madara when they are dragging him along. If only he knew how right he was.

With Shana, Naruto and Madara

They were now in Shana's room and had Madara tied to a chair. He was struggling against the rope but unfortunately for him Shana knew how to tie someone up properly. Years of practice and tying up every male that wanted something from her but she not from them. Under them were shinobis too though it helped her to improve on her skills. Shana turned to Madara with a dress in her hands and grinned at him. Madara looked horrified; eyes wide and mouth agape. Naruto snickered and held in his hands bows, earrings and make-up. Madara was shaking his head. Now way in hell would Naruto and Shana get those- those _things_ on him. He would die than wear this.

But alas he hadn't a choice in this matter and Naruto and Shana forced him to wear this. She had tweezers in her hand and was slowly making her way over to Madara. Madara eyes widened when he saw them and tried to flee still tied to the chair. Naruto was standing on the sidelines and watching them.

"Mou Mada-chan. The tweezers don't to anything to you! They only want to be your frinds! They love you!" she said in a sickly sweet voice.

"ARGH OW DAMN IT GO AWAY ONNA !? OW I SAID OW GO AWAY ONNA!?" yelled Madara when Shana began to pluck his eyebrows.

Naruto was laughing behind his hands when he saw the way Madara acted. That was so not like him. He heard a whimper and stopped to look at Madara. Nah it couldn't be. Madara would never whimper in his life. Not even if it is to save his life. When Shana was finished with the plucking she mention Naruto to come closer and help her with the make-up. Yes this should be fun. Through the whole base you could hear Madara scream and curse Shana with his ever being. Whatever it was she did to him the other didn't want to switch with him.

_Time skip three hours later_

It had taken them three hours but now Shana and Naruto were finished with Madara. Madara was paralyzed. He couldn't move after this. It was too much to go through. He wouldn't even do something like this to his most hated enemy. It was just not fair and he didn't understand how Naruto could do this to him. Shana he understood but not Naruto. I mean he is a man too so why did he help her in this? This will never be answered to him. He came back to planet earth when he heard the door closed with a loud 'bam'. Shana was standing in front of it and grinning at him. He could cry. Why him? Why had he to suffer this much?

Shana almost regretted doing this to Madara. Key word almost. She smiled at him and then took the ropes off of him. Yes this was fun to her. Madara to dress up like a Hime was something everyone had dreamed off. Not really only crazy people like her would dream of such and I myself. Madara glared at her she smacked him.

"Now, now Hime-sama that is not a way to behave!" she scolded him.. well 'her' in this moment like you would do to a four old child.

Madara growled and muttered under his breath. That would be a war now. She had it come to herself. If she hadn't done _THIS_ to him, he may have seen over it. But now it meant war. It would be getting more lively in the Akatsuki from now. He smirked and couldn't wait to get this thing off of him as soon as possible. Shana had taken pictures of this and now was bored again. `_Mhmmm what to do, what to do?_´she looked around her room and saw Madara prying the dress off. She sighed and she had done everything with so much love. `_Oh well. But it was fun when I could dress him up. Mhmm Maybe I should do this again!_´ she thought happily.

She laughed when she thought to dress him up as a clown the next time. Madara turned to the insane person, in his mind at least I like her, and rose an eyebrow to that. He was now dressed again in his old clothes. He was now trying to get the make-up off. He still had the bows in his hair but they could be later removed like the earrings. First the make-up. That was important now for him. Shana starred at him when she had calmed down. She went over to Madara who took a step back. He didn't trust her. Who knows what she would do next to him.

"Mou doesn't want help with removing this?" she said to him with big and innocent eyes.

He snorted to that. If he didn't knew any better that she was the devil in person he would have believed this innocent act. But he knew better and removed the rest of the make-up. He looked into the mirror to check if everything was off and sighed in relief when it was. He could see Shana standing behind him with a pout. He ignored her and removed the damn bows and earrings. When he was satisfied that everything was off he turned around and found a sitting Shana on her bed smirking at him. Somehow he didn't like this smirk.

"You know I have pics of this right?" he paled.

No way in hell! She hadn't done what he thinks she had done. That was not a fair fight. He muttered and cursed under his breath. The damn onna had him there. If he didn't want them to be seen then he had to do as she want him to. No he wouldn't do that. Should she show those damn pictures. It was better then to loose his dignity and pride while doing her... quests. That would be much more worse than the pics going around.

Shana knew what Madara would do. Now she had only one thing to say to this.

"You know the others want us together right?" she asked him out of the blue.

Madara raised a brow to that. So she knew. It surprised him that she knew this. He had thought that she didn't knew about the 'bring them together thing' form the others. Sure she knew that the others wanted them being nice to each other at her birthday. But that she knew the other thing was an other story. He went over to her but with a great distance. She could do something when he last expected it. She was just like that.

"Now what to do about it? They won't let us in peace with it till it happens" she stated in a matter of fact voice. `_When the hell did the onna learn to talk this way?!_´

"Don't tell me you want me to act like we are together! No way in hell will that ever happen onna!" 'SMACK'

"I told ya! My name is Shana!" she said in a sweet voice to him with a grin firmly plastered on her face. But all vanished when she spoke again "And what do you think we should do? It is the only way to get them away from us! That or one of us has to date someone. I say no! Who knows what a male I would get. He could be a pervert. Just like you!"

"God damn it! There I'm coming into your room while you change this one time and you are still holding this against me!"

"Of course I do you hentai!" she scoffed and turned her head away. Madara sighed this was getting them nowhere.

"Now back to business..." he stopped to think of something but nothing wanted to come to his mind.

He sighed it really was the best choice they had in this moment. Besides he had nothing against it. He liked her so much he knew. It is no wonder to him. She is the only female that he had taken an interest at. The others always threw themselves to his feet. The males were the same. But none of them had interested him. And now some onna does interest him. But no the onna couldn't be normal. No she just had to be a prankster, have ADHD and be a sadist. His life was never normal.

Shana looked at Madara when he opened his mouth to talk but then stopped in the middle of his sentence. She raised her brow to that and shrugged. If he didn't want to share his problem not hers. After some time and still silence she got bored. And we all know a bored Shana is a dangerous Shana. She did the next best thing and drew with lipstick on Madara's forehead. The letter twitched to that and got a tick mark at his temple. Madara did not like it when someone write or draw on him. He grabbed Shana's wrist and glared at her. She just pouted at him.

"You are no fun!" she said to him while poking his forehead with her free hand. He growled at her. "Awwwe is little Mada-chan mad?"

That was it. He was soooo going to hill her for that. Liking her or not. No body and he means no body talks to him in that way. And calls him that name and lives to tell about it. He used his speed and threw her over his shoulder like a potato sack. Said potato sack didn't like that treatment and did the only thing possible. She groped his ass. Madara twitched when she did this and left her room and went to his room. On his way to his room they ran into all Akatsuki members. They were starred at and some smirked at them. Madara would have killed them if it weren't for the fact that Shana was groping his ass.

"Stop it onna!" he growled under his breath said onna didn't stopped and continued to do so.

When they reached his room he brought her to his bed and threw her on it. He rubbed his neck and glared at her. It was now war. She wanted to grope him then he will show her what that meant when you do this to him. Every fool who had groped him was now six feet under. May they rest peace. Shana laughed nervously when he glared at her and tried to hide behind the blanket. Shame it didn't help her. Madara was just standing there and enjoyed her squirming under his gaze. It would be better if she were under him squirming. He shook his head. No he didn't need those thoughts now. But when he had her already here why not take the chance?

Before Shana knew what had happened the blanket vanished and she felt lips on hers. Her eyes widened when she felt how Madara nipped at her bottom lip. She moaned to that feeling and that gave Madara the chance to stick hid tongue into her mouth and taste. He rubbed his tongue against Shana's and wasn't disappointed when she responds to that. It got more heated with each passing second and Madara was enjoying himself. Maybe he could get her to be his Mate.

Konohagakure no Sato Uke's office

Sasuke was in his office and tried to think of something to get his dope back to Konoha and the woman they had seen with him back then. But it seemed to be a hard task when they are in the company of the Akatsuki and had them as their 'guards'. He cursed under his breath. He wanted the woman and Naruto now. But as we all know duck ass will not win in this. First Naru-chan is Itachi's Mate, second he hates Konoha, third he didn't even know the name of the woman, fourth, the woman is going to be Madara's in this moment he is brooding and five who wants to go with him in their right mind? No one that is!

While he was brooding erhm I mean thinking for a plan. Kakashi entered his office with his nose burrowed into that little book of his. Kakashi saw Sasuke sitting there and brooding erhm I mean thinking and raised a brow to that. It seemed that he still wanted to go and get those two. Kakashi sighed and closed his book and let it disappear in his pouch. Why was Sasuke still after them? He knew Naruto wouldn't come back to them and if they kidnapped him they would only get Akatsuki after them and a pissed off Itachi Uchiha. The same with the woman. But he had to admit that woman was good looking but already was with this guy.

When Kakashi thought about it had seen this guy somewhere. But where? His eyes widened when he remembered where. No way in hell that just couldn't be it. That guy is `_....Madara Uchiha_´ he thought. When the girl and Naruto are really their Mates then it meant only one thing. Naruto and the woman will never come to Konoha. No Mate would leave their Mate. It was an unspoken rule under Mates. They will always be together. No. Matter. What.

He sighed and cleared his throat. It was time that Sasuke learned the truth. When he saw that Sasuke was looking at him and raised a balck eyebrow at him in question he spoke

"Sasuke forget Naruto and the woman. They will never come to the village..." but before he could continue Sasuke interrupted him.

"And why is that?" he said annoyed. No one would deny him the right to get the dope and the woman in here and make him his toys.

"Well when what they said back then is true. Then Naruto and the woman won't come to us. I know that you know about Mating. It used to be done your clan. Hell in every clan that is known. Then you also know that a Mate will never leave him or her then. And when they are soulmates nonetheless. And even if you did make them come to us. Akatsuki would be here too and two very pissed off Uchihas. You know how possessive an Uchiha is on what is his. Now imagine Itachi and Madara coming here pissed off. And we both know how dangerous your brother."

Sasuke listened and knew what Kakashi spoke was true. But still he wanted them. Mate or not. He was the 'last' Uchiha. He always had gotten everything he wanted and those two wouldn't stop him. But wait didn't Kakashi said 'Madara' as in Madara Uchiha the founder of his clan?

"You said 'Madara' as in Madara Uchiha the founder of my clan?" he asked and a nod was his answer.

KM: First of all I have decided to delete 'Undecided'. I couldn't find myself to continue it and the other thing is nothing wanted to get into mind for it though yea.

Naru: _growls_ She has a new story

Kyuu: Which Naruto and I hate how she let us appear in it!  
KM: hush now. It isn't that bad now is it?

Ita: Hell yeah it is. I am not even together with my Kitsune in it!

KM: _annoyed_ And? Does it look like I care? No it doesn't

Mada: Please R&R!

Shizu: _whines_ Why is that we have a psycho as our creator!


	20. Chapter 20

KM: Buhja

Shizu: Where is Ray?

Kai: _smirks_ You don't want to know what she has done to her after she let KM act girly!  
others: _ come in and see smirking KM and Kai_

Ita: Do we even want to know why they are smirking like this?

Naru: I think we don't

Mada: KM doesn't own Naruto!

KM: But my youthful friends I own this youthful story and its youthful OCs!  
Kyu: Why are we still saying this blasted disclaimer? I think they already got it!

KM: For fun, I suppose. Anywho please enjoy!?

_**Chapter 20**_

_Times skip two weeks_ with a pissed off Shana

`_I am going to kill the asshole! No that would be too nice. Yes I know. Kukukuku.. cough... yes I will castrate him with the bluntest, rustiest and bloodies knife I can find! Then I chope off his balls and nail them to the nearest wall I can find! Then I will take out his eyeballs with a rusty spoon!_´ while Shana continued to rant and think of ways to kill a certain someone in her mind. She didn't noticed how she went into the meeting room. Everyone was sitting at the table and sensed her murderous aura. What had happened to piss her off that much?

It was now two weeks ago that Shana and Madara had mated. They still had their... 'fights' but it was a bit more peaceful between them. Means Shana had stopped throw knives at Madara when she got them in her hands. One time she nearly had castrate him. But they wondered now what had pissed her off this much. Something bad that was for sure. They all now looked at Madara because he is most of the time at fault. But he too looked at Shana questioning.

"God damn it when I get my hands on Roman I will kill him. And his death should be a slowly and painful one!" she exclaimed then and was cackling what scared the others.

It was not good when she is cackling like this. Now Madara did the only logical thing and asked her what this Roman guy had done to her to piss her off this much. Besides he didn't had a choice in the matter. First because he was her mate and second the others pushed him into asking her.

"So what happen when you were in the village?"

"huh?" it took her a few seconds to register that Madara had asked her that. "Oh yeah! I was on my way back to base from the doc when I met the ugly shit of an gorilla names Roman!!" she laughed a little to the name. "Well when I just wanted to leave the village and come back the idiot was standing in my way and wanted- no demanded to know where I was the last few month. But what he said next was the last straw! He had said as his future spouse I am not allowed to leave the village and always be at his side! He even dared to try and kiss me!"

Madara was boiling by now. The guy was a dead man in his eyes. The others felt the killer intent rolling off of him in waves and shivered to that. He was scary when angry and they all knew that this guy was a dead man. He had sealed his fate and death the moment he had claimed that Shana was his spouse when she to begin with already was Madara's. Even though before Madara was there she had already declined his courting for her.

"But before he even touched me I kicked him in the nuts and stole his clothes! After that I burned them and then made my way back here!" she said with a grin.

Silence was in the room and Kisame was the first to laugh followed by Naruto and Konan. That is something you don't hear every day. Deidara was clapping for her and Pein, Sasori, Itachi and Madara settled for chuckling. It was then they wanted to know why she went to the doc.

"Why did you went to the doc in the first place?" asked Kakuzu who had the feeling that it would cost him money. Much money that he isn't willingly to loose now or ever.

"Check up! And have ta talk with ya!" she said to Madara who blinked confused and was ripped from his thoughts of killing a certain gorilla.

Naruto's eyes widened when he caught her scent and grin secretly to himself. Unfortunately for Shana Itachi and Pein saw this grin. And quickly caught onto this. Ahh Madara didn't knew what he has gotten himself into. Konan as a female new this sentence and was already storming if with Shana to her room for the juicy details. Naruto was lucky that he too was allowed in there. Because Konan dragged him with her. Itachi shook his head and didn't even want to know what they are talking about.

He knew Naruto would later tell him the saver version of it. He went to their room and chuckled. Yes Madara was in for it. He couldn't wait to hear and see Madara's reaction to this. Pein already knew that he wouldn't get the save version like Itachi to hear this night. He would get the uncensored version though he can't sleep this night. He groaned and was prepared for long, a _very_ long night.

That night

Pein was groaning after he had heard everything from Konan in her talk with Naruto and Shana. Poor guy didn't even get to hear the save version of it. He will have forever a trauma thanks to that. He wondered sometimes if Konan did this on purpose to him. To see him suffer like this through her tail. He winced when she explained to him the way Shana had handle Roman. He had much preferred the version Shana had told them back. It was the save version but no Konan had to give the version that isn't censored. He knew already that he wouldn't be able to sleep tonight. So much he knew already.

He looked at Konan and saw that she was still talking and prayed to every Kami he knew that she would stop. But alas they didn't hear or just didn't want to help him she talked to him. He tried to not knock himself out or bang his head against the nearest hard surface. Konan was obvious to it all. She just kept talking to Pein.

Naruto was listening onto them through their door and giggle when he heard the quiet groans from Pein and his whines. Hell he even heard the man whimper one time. Well that is something new to him. Who would have thought that Pein knew how to whimper? He didn't and giggle again when he heard the sound again. It was this sight that greeted Itachi when he was in search of his mate and found him there at the door. He raised an eyebrow to that and shook his head. Naruto would be the only one to do something like this. But when he thought about Shana would do it too.

"Ne Ita-chan? Did you know that Pein could whimper?" asked the blond kitsune his mate with a smirk.

Itachi ignored this comment and lifted Naruto over his shoulder and went to their room. He really didn't want to know what could make Pein whimper. As far as he knew nothing could do that to him. Well maybe except Konan but she doesn't count. She can make everyone fear her. Hell only Shana is imune against her. It must be a female thing then. It has to be. In his mind at least but were they only man enough then they might stand a chance against Konan and Shana. Like I had said all those times earlier. ALL POWER THE FEMALES-coughcough- anywho Itachi was now in their room with Naruto still over his shoulder and pushed the doors open.

He didn't slam them open like Shana and Naruto tend to do. The noise was something he hated about it the most but at the same time it told him when his mate was near... or Shana for that matter. Then he can flee before she got him. But most of the time she got him... Like everyone else in the base. He sighed and laid Naruto gently down on the bed and slid his clothes off. He was now in his boxers and could feel Naruto's gaze upon him. He smirked to that.

He turned around and raised a brow in question at Naruto who blushed and turned his head away. His smirk grew a little and he decided to take a seat behind his kitsune. Said kitsune was pouting and then smirked wickedly to himself. Oh he knew a way to make Itachi pay. He smirked secretly to himself.

"Ne Itachi?" he heard a hn and continued "Well Shana told us that when she was by the doc that she had le. himsgff aidn"

Itachi had slapped his hand over Naruto's mouth when he noticed what Naruto had planned to tell him. No way in hell would he want the uncensored version of it. Hell even Hidan and his talking all about Jashin is better than that. Naruto grinned when he felt the hand over his mouth. Who would have thought that Itachi would fear something like this? He grinned that was good to know for him and future tortu- ehrm I mean conversations. He chuckled and licked Itachi's hand who shuddered to that.

"You won but not that version!" mumbled Itachi. It was the only way to defeat him. Talk about women and their talks!

Naruto grinned and told him the censored version now. Also he would have preferred to use the uncensored version for Itachi. While those two talked about Shana's trip. Madara got the feeling that he would get to hear something from Shana that would make him run for his life. Shame is just that she got him before he even had the chance to run for his life. He was dragged by the ear into her room. She slammed the door open and close. She laughed when she saw Madara jump. Heck they all jump when she's doing this. But it all disappeared when she took a seat on her bed and mentioned Madara to sit in front of her.

She had a serious expression on and starred at Madara. Madara twitched to that. He didn't like the way she was looking at him right now. It promised pain if he should answer her wrong on the subject she wanted to talk with him about. She was still looking at him and then sighed.

"You are an ass I hope you know that now" she said calmly to him.

He blinked at her and question himself what he had done now. But as far as he knew he didn't do anything. So what is it that he had done to her? His question was answer with three little words. The words every woman knew and men were to stupid to understand most of the time.

"I am pregnant!"

He starred at her with a blank look and blinked a few times. Shana was looking at him and thought that he took it better than she had first thought. Sure he was starring blankly at her but he could have fainted. But because that didn't happen meant that he took this news rather well. Normally she wouldn't know about the pragnancy now but because she had her check up she knew. And she would make Madara pay hell for this. She was grinning like a madman now and scared Madara out of his daze.

"So what do you say? Keep or nor?" she asked him. After all he was the father of the baby. Madara thought about it. It wouldn't be that bad to have an heir but then again Shana would then be a pain in the ass while the pragnancy. Tough cookie there.

He sighed and looked at her. Will it be worth it? was his only thought when he gave her the answer.

The next day (KM: Yes I know I am a bastard Muwhahahahahahaah)

It was the next morning and everyone was seated at the table. No one complained about the wake up call from Shana. Besides they wouldn't dare to do so. She knew too many embarrassing things about them. It was silent while they ate. Not one word w-- _**'BAMN'**_ I take it back. It was silent till Shana slammed the doors open. They still wondered how she could slam them with so much force open although she hasn't that much strength in her. But then again she could even beat Pein. But what surprised them was that Shana don't even destroy the doors while doing so.

"Heya Minna!" she said cheerfully to them. "Meeting in... " she looked at her watch ".. ten seconds!" and with that she was gone.

They blinked then noticed that they only had a few seconds left for the meeting. Ten minutes later they stumbled in the meeting room and found Shana and Madara already there and talking. Madara looked at them and raised a brow. They were that early here? Oh well he hadn't counted on them for an hour.

"Well I have thought to see you all in an hour but when you are already here... Let us begin!"

"What do you mean an hour un? Shana said the meeting was in ten seconds un!" exclaimed the blond.

Madara starred at Shana and shook his head. Why doesn't it surprise him that she lied to them? She wanted to get this over as fast as possible and tricks the others a bit. They mumbled under their breath about evil witches with the name Shana and how they hate her for this. Said person only grinned and played the innocent. When they were all seated they waited to let the meeting begin.

"Well I only wanted to tell you it was all your fault!" said Shana with a tick mark. They blinked and asked themselves at what they had done though it was their fault. Madara sighed and muttered to himself.

"That will take longer than I had thought!" he cleared his throat and caught everyones attention. "Ignore her that are only the hormones! She is pregnant and more dangerous than ever! Besides we have to talk about your brother Itachi!" he said in a bored tone.

They starred at Shana. No one could believe that she was pregnant and Madara spoke about it like it was an every day thing. It then made click by them. "WHAT?!" except Shana, Madara, Itachi, Naruto, Konan and a traumatrized Pein. He had never a chance in the beginning when Konan told him.

"Silence! I AM PREGNANT SO GET OVER IT AND DEAL WITH IT!?" she shouted at them and in a calmer voice she said "Now the Konoha shit heads! What are we gonna do about them?"

"Blow them up un!" they starred at him "What un? I see no one of you have a better idea un!"

"This is the first time I agree with blondie!" said Kisame. Deidara glared at him for the blondie comment.

"No that won't do. We have to teach them a lesson. They should learn why we are SS-class Nuke-nins without a reason!" said Zetsu.

"**He is right about this**"

"I agree with the black half on this"

"Yeah well what do we want to teach them then?" asked Hidan who didn't swear this time. They starred at him what annoyed Hidan. "What fuckers?!"

Nope Hidan was still the same and old Hidan nothing had changed. They sighed was that so much to hope for? When it's about Hidan and his swearing then yes. Anyways Naruto was laughing to himself now. He had the perfect idea for this.

"I have the perfect idea!" exclaimed Naruto with a foxy grin.

"Wanna hear! Wanna hear! pwease!" Shana pouted with the puppy eyes. Naruto looked at them and thought only one thing _`Damn she's better than me!_´

"Okay, okay!" he said with his hands up in surrender "That is what we are going to do! Hidan wil...."

Everyone leaned in and listened to Naruto and his plan. It was a good one and SasUKE would never know what had hit him when they were through with them. Yes and funny would it be too. Pein and Kakuzu had somehow the feeling that Konoha will never be the same after this. Shana was laughing when Naruto told them what Sasuke would get in this. Even Itachi had to admit that it was a good plan and that his brother had deserved it. After all he did try to steal Naruto from him. When everything was settled and clear to them they got ready to do it.

Shana was happy and snickered at the thought what they would do to the chicken butt and his minion. Well brainless minion. They will never know what had happened to them and it will give them a good laugh. Besides Naruto was back to his old self when he talked about it. She was worried about him when those bastard where there and tried to kidnap them. She looked around and found everyone deep in a conversation about it. She was bored an decided to bug her mate. ... Like always. She sighed and slowly made her way behind Madara who had his eyes closed and was leaning back in his chair. The next thing Madara knew was that something wet was on his check and his were wide open.

He turned his gaze to his mate. Said Mate looked innocently at him. He snorted his mate was far from innocently. Hell she was even more evil than the Kyuubi in his mind at least. While he glared at her and she smiled at him innocently Naruto took this chance to sneak something into Kisame's pants. Not one minute later you can hear him scream. All gazes were on him when he screamed like that. Naruto was on the sidelines and watching and laughing at him. It was then that Hidan looked at him then Kisame, back at him and back to Kisame. He then smirked at Naruto and gave him the thumps up for it.

Naruto smiled at him and then left gave him the sign to pull Kisame's trousers down. Hidan did just that and then hell broke loose. Kisame had blue boxers with little fish on. Konan was giggling when Kisame became purple. Kakuzu closed his eyes in hopes to not see more of this sight in front of him. Itachi twitched when he saw this and then glared at Kisame. His glare said it all 'I did not want to see this and when you are clothed again I will Tsukuyomi you in the obvious!'. Pein turned away from it and left the meeting room. He muttered under his breath about brats and their pranks. Madara raised and eyebrow and then turned to Shana who was laughing her ass off when she saw Kisame. Zetsu went pale and fainted when he saw this.

Naruto left when he saw this and went outside into the forest. He went to the meadow where Itachi and him had mated. He blushed when he thought about it. On his way there he didn't noticed how someone followed him. When he reached the meadow he set near the lake and starred into it.

**Brat! We have tot alk about the duck ass** Naruto heard Kyuubi say well growling was the better descreption for it. It seemed he was angry about something. Well someone with the name Uchiha Sasuke or better known as duck ass to us and the cute kitty.

_`Yeah I know and also hope the plan will work with them!_´

**Tch gaki when not then sentd them to hell! It's always nice there to this season!** said a smirking Kyuubi. Naruto sweat dropped and went into his mind. He was now in front of Kyuubi who was wearing again a dress.

"You ARE a cross dresser Kyuubi... or did KM get angry at you again" yes Naruto had finally believed the kitty that the evil, in Kyuubis mind at least, authoress KM does exist.

**How should I know! The bitch** -zap-** God I can't even swear! When I get her then... oh yes yes that will be good!** the kitty was now completely insane and began to talk with himself and ignored Naruto.

"Right Kyuubi! But anyways what do you think. Will it work against them?" he asked the insane kitty who was now back on planet earth erhm in his sewer.

**It should work runt. We are talking here about the duck ass. He should buy it brat. And what did I hear about someoen pregnant? Madara has knock up someone? No way on hell could happen this! i always thought he was gay!**

"uehh I fear to asked this but why do you thought he was gay?"

**Didn't show any interest in the females!**

"And that is why you thought he was gay? Dude you need help! No forget that no one can help you anymore. Well no one can help US!"

Kyuubi ignored Naruto for a moment and then smirked. _**I have the perfect idea for my revenge against the gaki and his mate**_

"Don't even think about it fluff butt!" deadpanned Naruto.

**I don't know what you are talking about Kit. I have nothing planned like you think I have** said Kyuubi in a flat voice to him.

"You so have Kyuubi" he said while narrowing his eyes at the over grown kitty. Said over grown kitty didn't like the fact that Naruto decided to use his brain today. With that said Naruto grinned at him and sat down. "Soo Fluffy what do you have planned mhmm?" he asked with his head tilted.

**Flesh bag I have nothing planned for you and now LEAVE!** he said with a booming voice to said flesh bag who only smirked at him.

"Nope buddy! That's my body and not yours!" he chuckled at him "besides you haven't told me what you have planned!"

**LEAVE NOW! or else...** Kyuubi said in a dangerous voice to him.

"Okay" he chirped cheerfully at Kyuubi and the next thing Kyuubi knew was that he saw Gai and Lee. His eyes widened and he starred in horror at a smirking Naruto. _**The brat wouldn't dare to da THAT**_ he thought when he realized what Naruto wanted to do. "So you really have nothing planned eh?"

**You wouldn't dare brat** said Kyuubi while barring his fangs at him. Naruto only nodded and faded away from the view of the nice and cute kitty.

Naruto snickered when he heard Kyuubi wail about the unfairness of life.

Kyuubi with Gai and Lee

"YOSH LEE WE HAVE TO SHOW THE UNYOUTHFUL KYUUBI THE SPRING OF YOUTH!" yelled Gai that hurt Kyuubi's ears.

"HAI GAI-SENSEI! WE HAVE TO SHOW HIM THE POWER OF YOUTH! AND WHEN WE CAN'T DO THAT THEN WE WILL...."

Kyuubi cried when he heard this. What had he done to deserve this? He was always a good kit in his mind at least he was.

Outside

Naruto was rolling on the floor and held his stomach because it hurt so much. Kyuubi's crying and wailing about the unfairness of it all gave him the rest. It was just so hilarious to hear this form the Kyuubi no Kitsune. And there it is said that Kyuubi is the most powerful Bijuu that exist and here he fears Gai and Lee and their youthful and hugging thing. But who wouldn't fear it? It is not human to do something like that. Hell even the spandex alone could make every demon cower in fear. Naruto was still laughing and didn't noticed how someone was standing right behind erhm next to him.

The figure was raising its eyebrow to the behaviour of Naruto and then shook his head. Why didn't it surprise him at all that Naruto would do something like that. The person sighed and then took a seat in the gras. It was then that Naruto somehow got his laughing under control. It was now only some giggles and he nearly chocked when he tried to held his laughing in. He let it out and the person again sighed when it saw this.

Shana was not happy about this. Naruto was laughing and didn't tell her why. She knew already that it had something to do with the Kyuubi or how she called him 'Fluffy Kitty'. She giggled when she thought about the first time she met the Kyuubi. She had somehow landed in Naruto's mind when he used a jutsu when she was near him. She still didn't know how she landed there but it was fun to torment the kitty and saw him suffer like this.

KM: Woha finished!

Mada: WHY ME!?  
Ita: Poor Sensei. He really hadn't deserved this

Naru: Uhu and poor Kyuu

Kyuu: huh?

Kai: _smirks_ Read the chapter

Shizu: That was a good one

KM: _grinning_ Please R&R!


	21. Chapter 21

KM: _looks at Kyuubi_ Dude what are you doing there? And where are the others?  
Kyuu: Away! And trying to hinder you from writing!

KM: _smirks_ Will never happen! Oh and Tsunade please do the disclaimer!  
Tsu: Whatever! KM does NOT own Naruto!  
KM: But my youthful friends I own this youthful story and its youthful OCs.

Tsu:_ turns to Kyuubi_ Why i-

Kyuu: Gai and Lee

Tsu: _nods_ Oh

KM: HA FLUFFY COULDN'T STOP ME AND NOW PLEASE ENJOY!?

_**Chapter 21**_

Konoha a month later

It was a normal day in Konoha. Sasuke was in a meeting with the others. He wanted the blond dope and the woman. He didn't gave a flying fuck that those two were the mates of Madara and Itachi. He wanted them and that was it. Even if he had to kill Itachi , what will never happen even IF he should have the strength for it. There was still no brain that could use it. And Madara who had the power he could only dream of. He wanted to go against someone who had founded is very own kin and think he can win? Boy get a reality check soon.

They had decided to meet at the bridge where Team 7 had always met. They had all taken a seat under a sakura tree in a circle and were talking about a way to get Naruto back. Kakashi was the only one who had his head still on planet earth and thought about the aftermath with it. He could only hope that Madara and Itachi wouldn't do as much damage as he thought they will do. If it is true with the mate thing. What he thinks it is then they are screwed up. Big time. He sighed and closed his book and looked into the sky. He had somehow the feeling something bad will happen. Something that will change Konoha forever and her citizen.

It was then they heard an explosion near them. They first thought it was only from someone training near them but when they heard the next explosion closer to them this time. They got suspected. It was not normal to hear such explosion that close to them. They looked around themselves and then found the blond and red head again that had attacked them back in the clearing. They all got into a fighting stance but they heard laughing only when they did that. To their right side came some orange haired dude and a blue haired woman out of the bushes. Left to them came Kisame, a white haired dude and someone with a mask jumping out of the trees. Behind them came Itachi, Madara, Naruto and Shana out.

"What is the meaning of this!" demanded the Uke to know.

They scoffed and huffed when they heard the chicken butt. As if he had the power to command them around like this. They weren't Konoha citizen or shinobis though he hadn't any power over them. Shana was the one who went to the sidelines while smirking and took a seat under a Sakura tree. It was for the other the sign to begin with the plan. Deidara was the first to begin with and used his clay bombs to distract them. It was then that Sasori used ninja wire to tie them up. It had its perks to be a puppeteer also Shana and Naruto claimed that it was all an excuse to still play with dolls. Kisame then used a water dragon to prison them with it. The dragon wrapped itself around the area they were in and then froze over when Naruto used a fuuton jutsu.

Konan used her papers to bind them and Pein used his bodies to held the jounins of them at bay. Itachi and Madara were standing at the sides by Shana and had their Sharingan active and let it spin madly. They were pissed and wanted to let their wrath out on them. They smirked when they thought about the things they could do to them. Shana was only sitting there and began to doze of. She was sleepy and hungry but that had to wait till it was over with the Konoha asses. She wanted to see their reactions to this. Besides it is always more fun when you are there when it happened then to get it told by someone.

Narurto went over to the Konoha asses and than stood in front of Sasuke and the others. He snapped with his fingers and then there were two poof of smoke and a fox was standing beside him to his left and a wolf to his right. They both were about the size of a horse. The fox was a silver color while the wolf was snow white. Both had two tails and it seemed were smirking too at them. It was then that Hidan went up to them and took his scythe out and laughed like a lunatic. It was always like this with him when he got excited about something. Kakuzu stepped up next to him and grinned under his mask.

It was then that Madara and Itachi used a genjutsu on them. The genjutsu showed them everything they had ever wanted in their life. Everyone was in their own little but one. Uchiha Sasuke had an other one. No one wanted to have the others interfere with it. It was only between him and Itachi and Madara. They were pissed off because of the fact that duck ass don't want to back off on their mates. Now he had to pay like the others would. Itachi and Madara were now standing in front of him and had identical smirks in their face. It said everything to him. He will pay for the shit he had tried back then and it would be now the time to pay. He gulped and feared for his life and wished that his mother was there to hold him.

Hidand and Kakuzu had meanwhile dragged away Team 10 to have their fun. Konan and Pein had gotten Team 8. Sasori, Deidara and Kisame got Team Gai, Kakashi and Sakura. Yes they all would have their fun with them. It was time for their revenge on them.

First were Team Gai, Kakashi and Sakura. Kisame had taken on Gai and Lee and was smirking at them with his shark smirk when they heard an explosion behind them. When they turned around they found Sakura and Tenten lying there with dirt and bruises cover them. That was the mistake Kisame had needed and then attacked them. Kakashi and Neji weren't fairing well against Sasori and his puppets. Kakashi had already the poison from Sasori's puppets in his system. His vision was already blury and he could only see the lines from his opponent. Sasori was grinning sadistic when he saw the demage he had already done to them.

Neji was cursing under his breath and hoped that they would make it out alive form this fight. Sakura and Tenten had the most problems with Deidara. They didn't knew when he would attack them and his explosion at random times and places didn't help them either in this matter. The fight was lost to them and Deidara was only playing with them at the time. He shook his head when he saw their poor attempts to stop him. How come that it was said that Konoha would produce the strongest shniobi again? Deidara didn't knew but only knew this. The old generation were the genuises and not the new one. One last explosion and it was over with them.

Sasori was getting bored with those two and decided to stop toying with them. He wanted to end it now. It was no fun with them so why waste chakra on them? Konoha had sunken low, pretty low in all this times. Kisame was the same opinion as them. It wasn't even fun anymore with them. Kisame sighed disappointed and ended this fight. Those weren't ninja to him. They were academy students to him. But then again he and the Akatsuki were on an other level than those shinobis.

Hidan and Kakuzu and had their fun with Asuma, Ino, Chouji and Shikamaru. It was just too easy to get them angry and attack without a second thought. Even Shikamaru although he was always the calm one and thought before attacking. But not in this fight. Maybe it was because they had Naruto that close to them and could get him back and the woman. But who had said that he was here to come back? They didn't knew and that was the sad thing about it.

The fight was one sided. Hidan and Kakuzu had always had the best chance to beat them. Even for them it got boring after the hundret and fifty time they tried to kill Hidan. Hidan ended it with his scythe and Kakuzu with his 'hearts' attacking them. They began to tie them up and drag them back to the meeting point. It was there that they met Sasori, Deidara and Kisame with their 'prey'. Shana was sitting under tree and watching them. She smiled when she saw them and mention for them to come closer to her.

"So wanna tell me why it had taken you guys only...mhmm..." she looked at her watch "one hour?"

"Sure un!" said Deidara to her "Well un! It was like this un! Danna, Kisame and I ha..."

With Pein and Konan it was an other story. Their victims didn't even last one minute with them. They had dragged them back with them to the spot. They took their time and thought about the next step of the plan. Naruto sure as hell had planned everything well. They smirked when they thought about the next step of the plan. Yes it was a good one and funny at the same time. Even if the first step didn't let it sound like it.

Madara and Itachi had their fun in breaking Sasuke. Naruto was only watching them. He wasn't that good with genjutsu to torture someone. He still had to learn this from the Kyuubi. But what Itachi and Madara used on Sasuke was hilarious. Who would have thought that Sasuke feared... ducks? Yes as hilarious as it might sound it was true. It had something to do with the fact that some ducks had attacked him when he was four. He was near a pool and wanted to watch them but when he moved to them they attacked him. Itachi had laughed to this well not laughed but snickered. He hadn't let Sasuke lived that one down. He always found a way to mock him with it.

He still had the reminder of this encounter. His hair was attacked by the duck though it would like a duck ass. But Sasuke always told himself it was a chicken butt. He didn't want to think about this event ever again. Although he does know it is a duck ass he preferred the chicken butt.

When they deemed it was enough they made their way back to the others with Sasuke dragged through the dirt. Naruto was skipping beside them and humming to himself. He giggle suddenly and that got him raised eyebrows. He ignored them and went on to the meeting spot. He ran to the others when he saw them and smiled. He came to a stop in front of Deidara and then saw that the others ,Konoha shinobis, were again in the world of the living.

"Soo minna are we all ready ro start step two?" he asked them cheerfully. Too cheerful in the minds of Kakashi and the others. The Akatsukis only nodded and Hidan grinned. "Well then Hidan have your fun!?"

It was then that the others left them alone with the Jashinist. Hidan grinned again and began to tell them about Jashin and his religion. They never had a chance in the beginning. When Hidan began to talk about something he likes then he can never be stopped till he is satisfied with the results of it. ... and till they join his religion. It was after five minutes of his talk about Jashin that Neji and Shikamaru asked themselves what they had done in their life to deserve this. Away from them Naruto and co. were laughing at their unfortunately luck with Hidan. It was rare to find someone to let them listen to his talk about Jashin without going insane. As far as they knew everyone who had heard him had joined his religion. It was good that is wasn't that much who had joined.

Two hours later and the Konoha shinobis wished they hadn't left their bed this morning. Hell even some of them wished they weren't born in the first place. It was then that Hidan stopped his 'lecture' about Jashin and the others decided to show up again. Naruto was grinning like an idiot when he saw them. Deidara whistled when he saw them in a dazed and with an expression wishing that hadn't left their beds.

"Wow un. Who would have thought that Hidan and his speeh about Jashin was that efective un!"

"Hehe who's next?" asked Konan innocently the others.

"My turn!" was Kakuzu's only words.

Oh yes the Konoha nins didn't knew what they had gotten themselves into. It was then that they heard about the wonders of money. Kakuzu explained them everything about money and how you have to use it in its right ways. As if it wasn't enough to hear about Jashin. And so it went on with each member taking its toll on them. Konan was ranting about paper, Pein had piercings, Zetsu plants, Sasori about puppets and his art. That somehow got to an argument between him and Deidara about true art. Then it was Deidara and his explosion and him explaining his art. That again got to an argument. It was then Kisame with fish and swords. The latter was interesting till he mixed it with his fish topic.

It was then that the Konoha nin couldn't take it anymore and passed out. Well fainted was it more. Naruto sighed and he didn't even got his chance to tell them about Ramen and its wonderful ways. Shana was giggling when she saw his expression. Madara and Itachi were disappointed in them. They had already enough after Hidan and his speech that they had knew. But to faint like little girls? That was not a way for a shinobi. It was then that Madara and Itachi took Sasuke with them. They had a lesson they had to teach him.

Maybe then Sasuke would learn to back off on things that are clearly not his. They smirked what scared the crap out of the others. Too bad Shana and Naruto weren't looking at this moment. It would be then they both would give them the puppy eyes and wanted to know what they are up to. Ah well to the Sasuke torture!

It was then that they grabbed him and dragged the little Uke through the dirt face first to an unknown location. The others starred blankly after them and then shrugged. It was not like they cared for the little chicken butt thing. He was their enemy and made little Naru-chan cry. Though it meant only one thing to them. They dude had to suffer for this. No one would make their little Naruto cry without paying the consequence.

Itachi and Madara had dragged Sasuke to an area where they were sure no one would find them. Not even Naruto and Shana. And those two had the hang of it to find them everywhere. Anywho it was then that Sasuke was back to the world of the living and looking around the place. It was then that he spotted Itachi and Madara who were smirking at him in sadistic way. He shuddered to that. He didn't like it one bit. But what he did wanted to know was what he done to get them mad at him. Idiot had already forgotten about it! Also it was only a few months ago.

When they were far enough away from the others they began to dress up Sasuke. He was dressed up as a clown with problems. The problems were that he was a female one at that. He had everything a clown needed. From the make-up to the clothes and don't forget the breasts. It was then Sasuke woke up and was greeted with the smirking Uchihas in front of him. He gulped and hoped that someone would come and save him. Hehe but no one will come.

"Now foolish Otouto we have a lesson to teach you!" said Itachi in his monotone voice. "And don't even think about fleeing or screaming for help. No one will come and help you!"

It was all said with a smirk on his face. Madara chuckled when he saw the face of Sasuke. It was priceless. But it came better. One moment Sasuke was in the forest and in the next he was in the world of Tsukuyomi. But it was different this time. This time Madara and Itachi were in the world of Tsukuyomi. Both had identical smirks in their faces.

"Now Sasuke we have 72 hours of tor ehrm I mean fun with you!" said Madara with a cheerful voice to him and a smirk in his face.

Somehow Sasuke didn't like it one bit. He had heard the word that Madara original had planned to say. He only hoped that it would be over soon but he had forgotten about Madara and Itachi who wanted to see him suffer. It was then that he saw how Orochimaru was standing in front of him naked. He only hoped he wasn't too. But too bad he was. He had sex with Orochimaru and then came the worse for him. Fan Girls were everywhere and had that glint in their eyes. It was then that he was raped by them. But the best was to come for him. Then it came for him the horror of the horror. It was even more worse than Orochimaru and his Fan Girls combined.

It was something no child wants to see or hear. It would give them nightmares. Sasuke was screaming when he saw it. You want to know what this it is right? Well I tell you. It is the way parents are around each other. You know all the cuddling shit in front of their poor, poor and innocent children. But what did got to him was that he had to watch how his parents slept with each other. Ouch that is hard. I feel almost sorry for him. Well but only almost. When it was all over he thought it was over. But no such luck.

"You have 71 hours, 59 minutes and 59 seconds left!" said Itachi to Sasuke who screamed.

Madara was chuckling when he heard this. Yes it was good way to show Sasuke who was the boss here. Itachi turned to Madara with a smirk. It was all going like planned. And when they had luck Sasuke would be traumatized for the rest of his life. That would be just a bonus for them. They made their way back to the others. They were met with raised eyebrows when they were only gone for a few minutes. But it was shrugged off and they made their way into the village. It was a wonder that no one said something to them. The whole way to the Hokage tower was met with silence from the citizen and shinobis when the Akatsukis went through the village.

It surprised them the most that nothing was said to the way their Hokage was dressed. Not one word was uttered. It was as if they weren't even there. When they reached the tower they threw them in there and locked them in Sas-Gay's office with Fan Girls ad everything that isn't holy on this world. Naruto was grinning like an idiot this whole time while he gave Shana a piggy back ride. It was better than being thrown over a shoulder and being handled as a potato sack. The two waited outside of Konoha while Naruto jumped form branch to branch. It was funny to do so especially since they hunted little squirrels while doing so.

But after the first minutes it was getting boring and they both sat under a tree and watched clouds. Shana was the first to doze off and Naruto sweat dropped. It was this scene that greeted them. Shana and Naruto sleeping peacefully under a tree. Why couldn't those two always be this peaceful when they are awake? Itachi and Madara went over to their mates and carried them bridal style. Naruto snuggled closer the Itachi and let out a sigh when he smelled the familiar scent of his mate. Shana on the other hand awoke when Madara lifted her up but went back to sleep when she saw it was only him.

For the first time in a long time the journey back to their base was peaceful and quiet. They already missed Naruto and Shana's bickering and pranks. It was a few hours later that Naruto woke up ad looked around groggily. It took him several minutes till he got that they weren't in the base anymore and that they had 'visited' Konoha. He giggled at the thought to that. It was just a shame he couldn't tell the others about the wonders of Ramen. He noticed that they were still moving and snuggled again into Itachi. Said raven looked down and saw Naruto awake but didn't said anything.

"Ne Itachi?" when he got a grunt as responds he continued "When will we reach the base?" he asked with a yawn.

"In an hour"

Naruto nodded and went back to sleep. He was still tired from hunting the squirrels. That were some sneaky bastards. But it was fun hunting them and scare them nearly to death. In a matter of minutes he was fast asleep. Itachi looked again down only to find a sleeping Naruto. He sighed and wondered what could have exhausted Naruto that bad. Naruto was always full of energy but he didn't mind it this time. Everyone enjoyed the silence for once. An hour later they reached the base and then Naruto and Shane woke up and were running around the place. They groaned to that and here they had hoped they would finally have some piece.

It was just a normal day like any other day for them. Naruto and Shana running around the place and stir things. But they could still hope couldn't they? Also it will never happen they could still hope. Meanwhile Shana and Naruto were in search of squirrels. Poor things they had never have a chance in the beginning.

KM: You couldn't stop me

Kyuu: I hate you KM!  
KM: Lova ya too! But when I think about it... better not. who knows what diseases you have

Kyuu: _twitches_ Whatever! Please R&R and get me out of here!


	22. Chapter 22

KM: Mhmmm

Ray: Why do I have a bad feeling about this?

Kai: You are not alone in this matter

others: _nod_

Naru: KM does NOT own Naruto

KM: But my youthful friends I own this youthful story and its youthful OCs.

Gai and Lee: KM YOU ARE SO FULL OF YOUTH?!

other: _sweat drop and back away_

_**Chapter 22**_

It was a few month later after they had visited Konoha. Today they would get a visit from Tsuande, Gaara and Orochimaru, who didn't want to go but was dragged anyways there with a leash by Tsuande. It was unusual quiet in the base thingy. Maybe it was because Shana was in her six month of pregnancy and was most of the time a lazy ass, lazier than Shikamaru, and wanted to sleep. Though Naruto had lost his partner in crime and was alone with his pranks. But Kyuubi had taken his chance and was training him in this time. And when Naruto wasn't training he was with Shana or Itachi.

Pein wished he had a mission today. He so didn't want to be here when Tsunade came. Same goes for Orochimaru. He sighed and in his little hideout in hopes no one would find him. But he had forgotten that you can never ever in your entire life hid from your wife or girlfriend or any women for that matter. Konan was in front their closet and open the door and smiled at Pein who smiled weakly back and waved to her. She grabbed his ear and pulled him out of the closet. Hard I might add.

"Pein" she said in a sweet voice while pulling him to the meeting room "You know that you have to be there when Tsunade, Gaara and Orochimaru arrive right?"

"Y-ow Yes" he said meekly to her.

"Good boy" she said with that shit eating smile still in her voice.

It was this sight that greeted the others when Konan and Pein entered. Kisame and Deidara were laughing when they saw the defeated look in his face. Naruto looked at him with sympathy. Hidan and Kakuzu didn't even want to know what had happened to him and turned away while snickering. It was then that Pein saw that Tsunade, Gaara and a scared for life Orochimaru were already there. He whimpered and asked himself what he had done to deserve this. Orochimaru and Madara were giving him looked of understanding. They were both there in this reunion while tied to a leash by their women. How could this happen to them?

"Now that we are all here!" said Konan while glaring at Pein who flinched when he saw this glare directed to him "Could we please get to the conservation!"

"Ah yes thanks Konan!" said a smiling Tsunade Gaara just grunted and Orochiamru wished he were somewhere else. "Now tell me what the gaki has caused here. And I want to know everything!"

Somehow all the males had the feeling that this was going to be a long day for them. It was only 8 a.m. that was something they had never dreamed of to happen to them. They groaned and wished that they never had left their bed this morning. But the worse was to come when Shana and Konan began to talk about private matters. Now they really wished they hadn't left the bed... or joined this organization or founded it. If they would have known something like this would happen they would never have joined in the first place. But they didn't so HA in your faces bitches! Cougcough- even Orochimaru was afraid and tried to hid behind Naruto.

But said person moved out of his way though that Tsunade still had a good look at Orochimaru. He glared at Naruto who looked innocently back at him. Fruity-chan snorted to that. He knew the brat wasn't innocent. If he was then he had never killed Sarutobi and tried to kill them. The women were enjoying themselves and made sure that the men had to suffer while this time. Kisame and Hidan were in a corner and starring wide eyed at those 'monsters'. Naruto, Pein, Sasori and Deidara were trembling when they heard them talking. How was it possible for them to talk this fast, this long and without breathing?

"You should have seen his reaction back then. It was priceless I say!" exclaimed Tsunade when she told them about the day when Orochimaru woke up next to her.

"No way! Here I had thought a Sannin wasn't that easy to scare!" said Konan

"Believe it!" she said with a little laugh "he screamed like a little girl as if he had seen a little spider! Or in his case a naked Jirayia!"

Kakuzu and Itachi did their best to not get into this little talk of them. It was scary enough to hear them talk like that. Why should they get into this? They knew they were doomed when they first heard about it. Zetsu was the only one who hadn't to be here. He had the excuse to be on guard duty. Like he always is. Well maybe it was because he could be once with this surrounding. Lucky bastard was the only thing that all the males thought back then. They had thought that Konan, Tsunade and Shana would loose after some time the interest in the conversation or they wouldn't have enough subjects to talk about. Fat chance.

No they hadn't such luck. It seemed they could go on about this for days- no even weeks. It was only when they reached lunch time did they got a break. Naruto immediately suggested to go to the village for lunch. It was better than being stuck in here and have to hear their talking. Maybe then they could flee.

"And don't even think about leaving us alone. Don't forget that we have a pregnant woman under us!" said Konan.

"Yes what is when we are attacked and no one is there to help us!" said Tsunade.

_`Who in their right minds would be that stupid to attack you! Everyone knows that it is a danger in itself to attack you! You are more dangerous than Kyuubi!?_´ was their only thought to nonetheless they went with them and never left them. To their surprise they didn't talk. It was silent and not one word was uttered but still. They did not trust this quietness. They eyed the women carefully. And then it happened.

"Arghj I give up you won!" said Tsunade and Konan at the same time. The men blinked and asked themselves what this was about.

"What is this about?" asked Orochimaru them.

"Well we had a bet... " began Tsunade to explain.

"We had said whoever can longer shut up can commend the others around for a month" ended Konan.

The guys went pale while Shana had a shit eating grin on her face to this. No way in hell would this going on for a month. It was their death then. They couldn't stand this even one minute with the three woman here. Now a whole month? That was just not fair. Not even Kyuubi liked this fact. He wasn't able to train the brat then. He had hardly agreed to let the brat have a day off. But that was too much for him. It was then that they reached the restaurant for their lunch.

"So Tsunade how come that Orochimaru is on a leash?" asked Sasori. It had bugged him since they had arrived.

"Yeah what is it with the leash un? And why have Pein and Madara one too un?"

"It's his own fault. He wanted to flee and I didn't want it though he has to wear a leash till we are back in Suna or till he behaves." she said to them annoyed.

"Madara thought he could flee form me when I don't look at him. He had tried this morning!"

"You have seen for yourselves why Pein needs one!"

It was silent after this form the men side and the women happily continued to chat under themselves. The guys shuddered at the few things they were talking about and were glad when Tsunade would finally have to leave. Maybe she could take Konan and Shana with her then. Through all this Gaara was silent. He was afraid that when he says a word the women would drag him into something then. He thought that they were capable of this. It's not like they hadn't done this already to him. He shuddered when he thought about it.

"Ne Gaara you okay?" asked Naruto his Panda-chan who only nodded. Naruto only sighed at that "If you say so"

Truth to be told. Naruto didn't believe that he was fine. He looked paler than normal and was awful quiet. More quiet than usual. It went like this the whole day. The women would talk with a speed that made the men wonder if they were still human. The worse part was when they heard how Tsunade wanted to stay for the night and Konan and Shana happily agreed to this. Their only thought to this was _`WHY ME?!_´ while mentally crying.

When they were back at the base no one had seen Zetsu. It was like he was never there to the begin with. Zetsu wasn't stupid oh no. He knew that something like this would happen and had fled the base. No way in hell would he stay when something like this is going to happen to them. He was already checked in a Hotel in the village with Kakuzu's money and made himself a good time.

Naruto and Itachi left as fast as possible Tsunade, Konan and Shana when they were back and ran to their room. Pein, Kakuzu and Madara were in the basement with the excuse it needed to be cleaned. Hidan, Sasori and Kisame were caged with the woman while Deidara had left them a while back and was now in his and Sasori's rooms. He pretended that he was asleep and then sneaked into the basement where the others met. But what did surprise him was the fact that they had a basement. He didn't even knew that they had one in the beginning.

Basement

Naruto and Itachi had somehow made it to the basement curiosity of Madara. Pein and Kakuzu were sitting at a table it seemed. Zetsu and Deidara entered the basement to find a tied up Naruto and Itachi sitting at the floor and glaring daggers at Madara. Said person ignored them and took a seat on the couch. Which mysterious appeared there. Zetsu and Deidara starred at each other then shrugged and took a seat on the chairs.

"So what are we going to do un?"

"I don't have the slightest clue to that!" said an annoyed Pein while trying to save his money from Kakuzu with his foot in said person's face.

Naruto just looked at the way Kakuzu and Pein acted about the money. It was quite funny to him. Itachi had meanwhile a starring contest with Madara. Said person smirked at Itachi and knew he would win. Hell when he could have a starring contest with Shana a whole week then he could win this. Sadly Itachi knew this too. Zetsu meanwhile asked himself how he came to be together with those psychos.

Naruto just looked on and then yawned. It was getting boring to watch this. Pein and Kakuzu were now playing poker and Naruto could only pout to this. That was so not fair that he couldn't play with them. Damn Madara. Why did he had to tie him up? Naruto cocked his head to the side when he remembered that Orochimaru, Kisame, Sasori and Hidan were at the mercy from Shana and the others. He shuddered and was happy that Itachi could rescue them only to be then tied up by Madara and then dragged down to the basement. Which by the way he didn't even know they had.

Itachi blinked and with that lost to Madara who smirked smugly at him. _`Damn you Madara_´ he thought while glaring at him. Naruto was asleep by now. It was boring down here. But better than to be with the women. Well that would be his death. Itachi looked at the asleep Naruto who surprisingly sat while he did so. He rose an eyebrow to that but then shook his head. Why did it surprise him at all? It shouldn't after all the things he went through with Naruto.

Pein had won in the end the rights over the money. Kakuzu was sulking in a corner. Zetsu had left again to be with his garden for a little time and then left for his hotel room. Deidara was playing with his clay. It was then that they heard a loud scream. They all looked to the door and felt pity for Hidan, Sasori, Kisame and Oroch- the door was thrown open and Orochimaru ran into the room and locked the door. Never mind that they felt only pity for Sasori, Kisame and Hidan. It was a miracle that Naruto was still asleep.

"Don't tell them I am here!" he hissed at them. "Never mind that. How the holy hell do they not know you are here! And since when does this base have a basement?"

"Dunno?" said Madara with a shrug.

Orochimaru twitched and looked around. So far it were only Madara, Kakuzu and Pein whom again play poker over the money. Deidara, an asleep Naruto, Itachi and himself. He took a seat on the couch that was next to Madara and sighed. Why was it him again that had to be dragged into this? That was the reason why he had left Konoha. And because of the 'things' he had done to be kicked out of Konoha. He sighed and closed his eyes. Maybe this was just a horrible and twisted nightmare and he had yet to awake from it. _`It's a never ending nightmare!_´ he cried in his thoughts.

Naruto was still in a blissful sleep and wouldn't even notice when the world would end. Itachi was now free of ropes and had seated himself on the couch with an asleep Naruto in his lap. He smiled softly when he saw Naruto and stroke his cheek. Madara was leaning against the wall with closed eyes. When he had moved there I have no idea. Deidara was with some paint on the other wall. It was like the were in jail the way they acted. A jail that no one wants to enter with those '_women_' as their guards. It was frightening to think about.

Living-room

Tsunade and Konan were now talking with Shana about the baby. Hidan, Kisame and Sasori were in tears but no one paid them attention. It was even more worse after Orochimaru had left and not taken them with him. The next time they saw him he would pay for this. While they talked Kisame banged his head against the cage and Sasori tried to use Hidan to break the cage down. Sadly it didn't work.

"God dammit! You fuck shit! Stop this fu*##!?& sh#*! My fucking head hurts!"

"Well then get yourself a harder one though it won't hurt!" yelled Sasori back with a tick mark and a twitching eye to Hidan.

Kisame just looked on. It was an amusing sight to see. As far as he knew Sasori rarely lost his cool and when he did it was always a sight to see. It's like a law that said you have to see this. It sure is an event that no one wants to miss. Kisame sighed and rubbed his head. The pain had finally reached his brain after a good five minutes rest of raming his head against the cage. Ever so slowly a bruise began to form on his head. Hidan and Sasori were lost in their argument to notice anything around them.

"Do you think we should let them out?" Kisame heard Konan say.

Hope began to raise in him. Maybe they would let them out and he could ran away from here and only came back when those women have left the base. But he knew Madara and Pein would never let Konan or Shana leave.

With Gaara

Gaara was sitting outside the base and enjoyed the silence. He knew that his quietness would help him in this matter. He smirked. The poor fools inside must be in hell right now. It was almost time to head inside. And as far as he knew it should be save then. Ha you all had wondered what had happened to him right? Well I am not that evil to be caged with Sasori, Hidan and Kisame. Oh well coughcough- anyways Gaara stood up and dusted himself off. He went to the entrance and entered but in the next second wished he hadn't.

Gaara was meet with loud cursing and breaking objects. It was then that the others came running out of the basement. Itachi still had an asleep Naruto in his arms. It was a mystery to Gaara how Naruto could sleep through this loud fight. Hell he didn't even stirred or did anything!

Hidan and Sasori had destroyed the cage and Kisame was standing at the sidelines and watching them. Deidara was cheering for his husband as any good wife would do. Madara and Pein watched in amusement with their arms around their women's waists. Shana was filming this and laughed when Hidan lost his head which was then dumbed into the toilet. Tsunade had Orochimaru again on the leash and drank her sake.

Orochimaru was crying because of the damn leash. Zetsu who had heard the cursing that even reached to his hotel room and was standing next to Gaara and just watched with a smirk in his face. Itachi chuckled when he saw where Hidan's head was. It was then that Naruto woke up and laughed his ass of when he saw this too. Konan was cheering Sasori on. Kakuzu looked on amused but then broke into laughter.

It was funny as hell when you heard the toilet swear. It was that what gave Deidara and Naruto the rest. They both collapsed on the floor and were laughing so hard that hurt them and they were crying. Itachi laughed openly along with Madara and Pein. It was something that never happened. Kisame was rolling on the floor and Zetsu was leaning on the wall for support along with Gaara. Although they don't show much emotions even they were not immune to this swearing toilet. It was soon that they all collapsed on the floor because of their laughing.

Shana was the only one who was still standing and filming. She hadn't even chuckled as this happened. Why should she? It was funny that she had to admit but she couldn't find herself laughing to this. She shrugged maybe it had something to with her pregnancy. She still cursed Madara for this and made him pay everytime she could. She smirked when Hidan's body finally had found his head.

"God damit! You fucking asshole! Now I have to wash myself! You dipshit of an asshole when I get my hands on you. You will wish to never have fucking met me! Bloody pupppet lover!?" Hidan yelled while leaving in search of a bathroom.

Sasori didn't even pay attention to this. He was busy laughing his ass of like the rest. Shana shook her head and went into the kitchen. She was hungry. She wanted pizza with vanilla and strawberry ice-cream, pickles and miso soup. If the others had seen this they would run for their lives in this moment. Shana was sitting in a matter of minutes at the table with her food and was eating it. It was this moment that Gaara entered and left again in a three seconds flash and screamed.

Shana only looked confused at him then shrugged and continued to eat her food. Which the others highly doub as food . The had given it the food of hell or even worse name. Madara and co. starred at each other when they saw Gaara coming out of the kitchen running and screaming. They gave each other a knowing look. Gaara had seen what Shana ate. It was not a nice sight to see. Everyone knew this an now they knew it was a danger to enter the kitchen. Now they had only to wait till she came out and it was save to enter it.

"I think he is now scared for his life after this" said Naruto with a laugh.

"Naruto anyone here is scared for their lives after we have seen her eating this '_**food**_' like she called!" said Sasori to him. He was a little bit green in his face.

"Yes. Be happy none of you had to eat... '_**it**_'!" said Konan with a shuddered.

"Ahh yes I remember now un. And un? How did it taste un?" Deidara asked her innocently.

He was met with a fist in his face form a seething Konan who was held back from Pein, Zetsu and Sasori.

"What un? I only wanted to know what it tasted like un!"

Kisame and Hidan were betting that Konan would kill the blond in his sleep this night or in the next few minutes. Kakuzu was in after he heard the word money. Naruto looked on and laughed when Konan broke free and went for the blond bomber. Itachi, Madara, Gaara and Zetsu chuckled at this. Tsunade was cheering Konan on and laughing when Deidara got his hair burned. It was to this chaos Shana came out of the kitchen.

When Shana opened the door she shook just her hair to this. It was nothing new to her. Besides she didn't had the strength to throw a fit now. She was tired and only wanted to sleep. She left them alone and went to her room to sleep. No one had noticed her leaving the kitchen. But how could they? Konan killing Deidara was far more interesting than this.

KM: Finally I had time to finish this!  
Ita: Took you long enough!  
Ray: Well not our fault we hadn't the time for it!  
Kyuu: _ignores them_ Please R&R!


	23. Chapter 23

KM: Yes second chapter of Tsunade, Gaara and Orochimaru's visit! Mwahahahahahaha

Ita: Ignore this insane person over there and help us!  
Kyuu: _cries_ Yes please!  
Ray: Woha KM got Kyuubi to cry!

Kai: Don't let her see this!

Shizu: Or she will never stop this!  
KM: Too late I already saw it! Now Madara disclaimer!

Mada: _grumbles _Fine! _clears throat_ KM does NOT own Naruto!

KM: BUT my youthful friends I own this youthful story and my youthful OCs

Gai,Lee: _crying and hugging themselves_

_**Chapter 23**_

It was now the next day of Tsunade, Gaara and Orochimaru's visit. The morning was peaceful and no pranks were played. Mostly because of the fact that Shana is pregnant and an lazy ass right now. Naruto just didn't want to pull one without her. She had great ideas. Gaara was the only one awake and he was sitting in the kitchen. He shuddered when he thought about that thing Shana had eaten yesterday.

**Gaki make me never watch this ever again! It was creepy! How can a human being it this-this **_**food**_**! Not even female demons are eating such things when they are pregnant!**

`_I know what you mean potato! Now shut up! Don't you think I am scared for life too!?_´ Gaara all but yelled at his demon.

**Geez Gaara! You don't have to screamed at me! I have feelings to ya know! **Gaara starred blankly at Shukaku after he said this. Shukaku grew a tick mark and starred right back at Gaara. **What!?**

_`Potato you need help!_´ was the only thing Gaara said and ended their talk.

It was then that Hidan entered and starred at Gaara. As far as Hidan knew no one would be awake to this time. Well except Shana and Naruto. But those were only awake to play pranks then. But with Shana's pregnancy they now have a break form this. He was only awake now because of Shana who was vomiting her food out from yesterday. And maybe her organs from the sound of it. The wonder of pregnancy. Man was he gald that he wasn't a woman.

"Do I even want to know why you are awake?" asked Gaara Hidan with a raised eyebrow. Said person shook their head 'no'. "Hn"

It was only a few minutes later that Madara entered the kitchen and took a mug of coffee that Gaara had made. Shana was the next to entered and let herself fall down on a chair. This pregnancy was exhausting and it was all Madara's fault! _`I will make sure that this pregnancy is the same hell for him like it is for me! ...mhmm maybe pancakes with ramen will be a good breakfast!_´ she thought while glaring at Madara. Madara went a chill down his spine and he got the feeling that he should run for his life.

Tsunade was the next to enter and Orochimaru was off of the leash. But he had collar that shocked him when he tried to flee on. Tsunade looked ready to fall over but before that could happen she took a mug full of coffee.

"So much better!" said Tsunade with a sigh after she took a sip from her coffee.

"Mornfknksg Tshamdh!" mumbled Shana into the table.

Madara sweat dropped and took a seat next to her. Hidan and Madara didn't even want to know what will happen now. Everytime Shana mumbled into the table something was going to explode. It always did. Hopefully nothing in the kitchen will explode. They loved their lives and didn't want to be prank while the explosion. Thank you very much. Besides Tsunade, Orochimaru and Gaara didn't even know what was going to happen in the next seconds. They still remembered the last time it happened.

Zetsu still didn't trust bunnies, birds and the color orange.

_**BOOOOOM**_ _**CRASH**_

"_**AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH**_" was heard through the whole base.

Shana was still half asleep and let her head rest on Madara's shoulder. Madara continued to drink his coffee and ignored the ruckus around him. Hidan was making himself a sandwich and looked at Shana who was asleep by now and sweat dropped. Tsunade, Gaara and Orochimaru jumped in the air when they heard the scream and the explosion. They looked in the direction they had heard the scream. It came from the living-room. But the explosion came from the side were meeting room was. Strange.

Deidara entered the kitchen snickering with Naruto who was red in his face and had tears running down his checks. He shook with laughter and was leaning on Deidara for support. The others starred at them like they had grown a second head and were pulling a Zetsu. It was then that a bright neon pink Kisame, Kakuzu and Pein entered the kitchen.

"Don't... asked... or... say... anything!" said Pein through greeted teeth while glaring at the others.

Madara just starred at them and then glanced at Shana. Yes Shana was dangerous when she was like this. He sighed and turned his attention back to his coffee. Itachi entered the kitchen and raised an eyebrow when he saw Kisame, Pein and Kakuzu. He smirked and took a seat next to a laughing Naruto who was leaning onto him now and not Deidara anymore. Shana turned her head and was now looking at Madara and then poked him in the ribs.

"What?"

"Where is Konan and I want ice-cream!" she demanded form him.

"How should I know and why don't you go get it yourself?" that was the wrong to say.

Because one moment he was sitting and the next he was running away from a royal pissed off Shana who had sharped and pointy objects in her hands. Where she got them I don't know. Whistle innocently. Tsunade, Gaara and Orochimaru watched them with amusement. Not even they would try to get between them. Knowing that it would end in pain for them or maybe even cost their lives. They were still to young to die. Well Gaara was.

"Is it always like this here?" asked Tsunade Deidara who was somewhat calmed down and not laughing like a lunatic anymore.

"Un!"

"NO! SHANA! PUT THAT AWAY!? NO SHANA! I SAID PUT IT AWAY AND NOT THROW IT DAMMIT?!" was heard from Madara.

"I said I WANT ICE-CREAM! NOW GIVE IT TO ME!? AND I MIGHT STOP THROWING THE KNIVES AT YOU!?" was yelled back from a five month pregnant woman.

"FINE!? ITAI!! WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?"

"MY HAND SLIPED!?"

They sure as hell loved it to yell at each other. Or them when they are pissed off. Hidan was the first to left the kitchen and snickered when he thought about the pink Kakuzu. Deidara was meanwhile talking to Tsunade about Orochimaru and why had now a collar on. It was interesting to hear the reason. Pein grumbled and left to the bathroom to loose the color. Kisame had already left and Kakuzu was counting his money again and whining about the water bill for this month. He knew that they would need the water to loose the color. Meaning he will loose his money. He could cry. Actually he did cry.

Orochimaru was the only one who was sitting in a corner and starred wide eyed at them. He was surrounded by creepy people. And Tsunade was the worst in his opinion at least. He did feel sorry for Pein and Madara to have women like Shana and Konan. That was the only thing that the three had in common. Madara was the only one of them who had the balls to stand up against his wife. Not like them. Hell Konan and Tsunade scarred them to death. He actually had noghtmares because of that.

Itachi had Naruto sitting in his lap while drinking coffee. Naruto was busy with drawing on the newspaper. He looked kinda cute the way his tongue stuck out off his mouth in concentration. How his eyebrows knitted together and his eyes twinkled in the light. Itachi was happy that all of this was his and only his. He chuckled when he thought about their visit in Konoha. It was then that Konan entered the kitchen and raised her eyebrow to see a pink Kakuzu crying while counting his money. But she didn't dare to ask about it. She had heard Shana and Madara yelling at each other and it woke her up.

She was looking for Pein who was still in the shower and trying to get the pink off. She just shrugged when she didn't find him and made herself breakfast. Tsunade and Gaara left the kitchen and Orochimaru was left alone with them. Although he didn't notice due to his crying in the corner. He was glad that they would leave today. He didn't know if he could stand one more day with those insane people in here. Tsuande was already hard enough on him. Besides he should be back in Oto due a long time ago. Hopefully everything is still right in order with Kabuto there.

With Kabuto

Kabuto enjoyed the time without Orochimaru there. It was better than his yelling with Kabuto this, Kabuto that. AHh it was peaceful to him. Maybe Orochimaru should leave more than once a month. Maybe everyday? But that will most likely never happen. He sighed and shook his head. No he shouldn't be thinking of this right now. He should enjoy the peace and when he had heard right Orochimaru was busy with Tsunade right now.

Back with the Power Rangers! ehm I mean Akatsuki! Yes that was their name! Hehe I think it was... ^^;

Madara had finally gotten the ice-cream for Shana who was sitting happily in his lap and eating her precious ice-cream. He sighed and asked himself how he had gotten himself into this. Oh yeah he had to knock her up and make her his mate! That is why. It was then that a somewhat normal looking Pein come into the hall and starred at them. He still had some pink on him. Madara and Shana were sitting in the hall and Shana was eating ice-cream. Why does this surprise him again? He didn't know but what he did know was the fact that Madara was in hell with Shana as his wife erhm mate.

_`Ignore them Pein. Maybe then you will not be dragged in their mess. It is better for all of us!_´ he shuddered and left them. He was going to stick with his thoughts about this. It was just not worth it. Just like the last time when it happened and everyone was in their 'little' fight. The base thingy was nearly destroyed and in the end Shana and Madara were laughing their asses of because of them. Zetsu had nearly eaten him then too. What Naruto and Deidara had done in this fight he didn't even want to think of. But it was sure that Kisame and Kakuzu were the ones that had suffer then.

Konan had finally found Pein when he entered the living-room. She was sitting next to Tsunade and they both were talking about her stay here. She even wanted Tsunade to stay a few days more. Pein paled when he heard this and left immediately after this. He had to tell the others about this. Maybe they could flee and then don't have to stay here with those... 'women'. He was the opinion that they were the devil in disguise. He was now in search of Hidan who had the loudest mouth of them all and let him scream for the others then. Although he knew Deidara was more vocal than him. But he knew that Deidara and Sasori were alone in their bedroom. No way in hell would he enter their room and run in there. Who knows what they are doing at this moment. He did not want to be traumatized for life.

As far as we all know he is already. But we don't want him to dream of Deidara and Sasori going at like bunnies now do we? Hell yes I want but back to the story. Coughcough

Erhm Pein had found Hidan easily. Hidan was in his room and doing as always his ritual like he does everyday to this time. Pein cleared his throat and caught Hidan's attention.

"What the fuck do you want!?"

_`NO respect for their superior!_´ "We have a problem with the name Tsunade!"

"And?!" Hidan said getting annoyed. Pein rolled his eyes at him.

"Konan wants her to stay a few days longer!"

"_**NO FUCKING WAY!? I AM LEAVING THIS SHIT HOLE TILL SHE LEAVES!?**_" was heard through the whole base thingy.

Yes it was good to have Hidan in the group and his lungs. You could hear him everywhere with them.

Summoning realm

**What was that?** asked Gabamunta out loud. His sons just shrugged to that. **Mhmm maybe Naruto knows about this?**

With Shinigami and Kami

**"What the hell was that!?"** asked a confused Shinigami.

**"How should I know?"** said Kami with a shrug and continued to watch TV.

Back with Hidan and Pein

It was this moment that all males run to them save for Madara who was still trapped with Shana which was now high on sugar. Bad thing. Anyways they all starred at Pein and Hidan with wide eyes. This cannot be true. Tsunade can't be staying here for a few days longer. They knew who Hidan had meant when he yelled. It was the only option for it to be Tsunade. Konan and Shana live here too. Kakuzu was near tears. No way in hell would he survive this.

"I think Kakuzu finally cracked un!" said a still flushed Deidara.

The others just nodded not knowing what to do or to say in this moment.

Konoha Hokage office

The 'Rockies' and their Senseis were standing in the office and waited for the orders from Sasuke. They wanted to know what they should do now after the visit from the Akatsuki. Hell they were still shaken from their visit and speeches they had heard. Not even Sasuke was back to his normal brooding self and that is saying something. He still had nightmares from the... 'meeting' with the ducks. Itachi and Madara sure did a number on him with that one.

"I want you to tell every ninja here to stay away from Akatsuki from now on. And tell them to run for their lives if they should see them!" said a paler than normal Sasuke.

They all nodded and then shuddered when they thougth about the visit. It was not something to think and remember. Hell most of them still had nightmares or didn't even sleep at all.

"HAI!?"

Okaaay well back to Akatsuki

Nartuo and the others were now all on front of the Akatsuki base thingy. It was time to say god-bye to Tsunade, Gaara and Orochimaru. _`Finally_´ was the thought of the males. Everyone of them had a smile in their face. _`NOOO_´ was what Konan and Shana thought at this moment. Tsunade had declined when Konan had asked her to stay. Much to the pleasure of all males. Madara and Pein tried to comfort their wife and mate. But it didn't help. Especially when one of them is five month pregnant, has a love for pointy and sharp object to throw at her mate, knows dirty secrets about you and is a wreck with too much hormones in them. In short Madara was dead after Tsunade would leave them.

"Well we have to eave now. My duty as Kazekage can't be put on hold forever!" said Gaara and turned to leave. His way of saying good-bye.

"Yeah see you later!" said Naruto cheerfully and Gaara almost screamed.

"Well I will write to you guys! Come slave!" said Tsunade while tugging at the leash from Orochimaru.

Orochimaru was crying when he followed the tug and Naruto giggled at him when he saw this treatment. Hell Hidan even took photos of this. Shana just starred blankly at them like they all had grown a second head. She tilted her head to the side and then turned around to go back into the base thingy. Itachi just looked at Naruto and then shook his head. He left them behind and went to the clearing of his and Naruto's mating. He smirked when he thought back to it. Naruto just looked confused when Itachi smirked and this gleam entered his eyes. His eyes widened when he recognized this gleam and blushed a storm up.

The others looked confused on. When Itachi turned around to look at Naruto he smirked that smug smirk of his. He knew what Naruto was thinking about. He nearly had a nosebleed. If it weren't for his self control right now. Naruto would be laying under him, squirming and moaning. His smirk widened which scarred the shit out of the others. Itachi was sooo not supposed to show feelings in the opening. Even if Naruto is around that is just too scary. Kakuzu nearly had a heart attack... or more. Who knows with all of his hearts if he has only one? AH well.

Pein and Konan looked at Itachi and then Naruto. Konan squealed and Pein was deaf due to said sqeal. Poor guy. Naruto blushed redder and Konan was ready to film or to take pictures of them. Maybe she could sell them again to their fan club in Suna. If only they knew how they got the money for the food, water . I think Naruto and Itachi would have a heart attack. Kakuzu wouldn't mind as long as he has money. Why should he care where he got it form?

Zetsu was still away and would only come back next week. Pein groaned when he thought about yesterday... and this morning. Why did he had to agree to join again? Oh yeah he was young and needed the money. Besides he didn't have anything better to do at the moment. Maybe he should leave? No, Konan would find him and dragged him back. He sighed and went to his office. It was time to do missions again. Maybe he should send away Sasori and Deidara, Kisame and Hidan. Naruto and Itachi too. Then he could have some peace. Mhmm Maybe he should get Madara to take a vacation again with Shana.

Nah that wouldn't work. Madara would just leave if he left like it with Shana. He sighed in defeat. Those two will be the death of him some day. He paled when he thought about their kids. He shuddered at that. If they are only half as bad as Shana then he would leave and never come back. Maybe faking his own death? No, Konan would find him and drag him back while pulling at his ear. He rubbed his hear when he thought about the last time she did it. That had fucking hurt damn it!?

Meanwhile said person with missions somehow got the feeling they were doomed when they are going to enter Pein's office later.

_Time skip next day_ Living-room

Shana was sitting in the living-room with her... 'food' or whatever the hell it is. It really is not food. I will not tell you what is because the rating may change then. And I don't think that should be written down in a FanFic. It is just... not normal. Anyways Shana was watching some series that let your brain cells die in a few seconds when you are not insane. A series I hate with passion. It is known as 'Verliebt in Berlin'(1). It was to this Pein entered and left immediately. It was not something he wanted to see.

Madara and Konan were the next to enter. Konan immediately took a seat next to Shana and Madara fainted. It was just too much for him. They heard a thump but ignored it in favor to watch this- this wretched series. Pein who felt pity for Madara came to his rescue and dragged him into the kitchen. Pein still didn't know where the explosion was. He had to admit that she was getting better with it. Maybe he should lock away Deidara's bombs from her. He did think that she got lessons from him.

He was now in the kitchen and drinking coffee. Maybe he should flee and hope that Konan will never find him. He sighed and let his head hit the table. Madara groaned in his sleep and woke up. He rubbed his head and looked around.

"Pein I had the weirdest dream" he said to the living piercing.

"And waht would that be?"

"Konan and I went into the living-room. Shana was sitting on the couch and watchin this- this series again. Konan joined her and then I passed out. And you dragged me into the kitchen!"

"It wasn't a dream!"

"Oh!" was his only responds "Excuse me!"

He fainted again! Ehm I mean he passed out! Yes that was it. Men do not faint. Yeah right they don't!

_**SQEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLL**_

Pein sweat dropped and wished he could join Madara in the dream land. He sighed and mused how it would be when Konan would get pregnant. Oh the horror!? Oh if only he knew what the authoress had planned for the end of this story!

KM: Finshed and I am sorry that it is that short.

Ray: The story will soon be ending!

Kai: WITH A GREAT BANG!?  
Dei: HELL YES UN!?

Shizu: Please R&R!?

(1) It's a german series that I loath with a passion. I still do not know how you can watch this. I think it is utter bullshit. Not even near the reality. I say who wants to keep their sanity should not watch this.


	24. Chapter 24

KM: Yes! It's ItaNaru time again _cackles evilly_

Shizu: _backs away_ Well Itachi and Naruto will have their fun again after they could finally leave the base!

Kai: Should we NOT tell them what this chapter is about?

Ray: _nosebleed_ I wanna read!!

KM: Well then! Do the disclaimer Lee!  
Lee: YOSH KM DOES NOT OWN NARUTO!?! HOW UNYOUTHFUL! BUT SHE OWNS THIS STORY IDEA AND HER OCs YOSH!?!

_**Chapter 24**_

Itachi and Naruto could finally leave the base thing-y! It was not like they hated it there. No they loved it there very much but they needed a break from the craziness there and some alone time. Shana was getting more and more crankier. Good thing was she let it out on Madara. But this was not the time to think about their crazy family. No, now it was only them and them alone. And that is why we find the two lonely in an old house. It was Naruto's idea really. But Itachi could not held his perverted thoughts back when he thought about them being alone in the house. Yes Naruto would not be able to walk for a very long time.

Before Naruto knew what was happening while he entered the house. He found himself in an old room. It was a bedroom completely in red and black colours. He heard Kyuubi whining in his mind but paid it no heed. After all he needed this as much as Itachi. Itachi had taken Naruto to the bedroom and thrown him on the bed. He looked at Naruto with lust filled eyes. Naruto looked so adorable with his head tilted to the side. It gave him an Uke-ish look. Even more though when you counted his clothes slipping off of him and showing his tan skin. Itachi licked his lips and pounced the little Kitsune. It was time for their alone time right now and no one was here to get between them like in the base.

Before Naruto knew it he had a VERY aroused raven on him who was sucking at the mating mark and biting down on it. Naruto let a low moan out when his mate began to kiss and nip at the mark. Oh yes he had missed those times. He moaned louder when his raven bit down harder and exposed more of his throat to him. Itachi smirked against the skin and captured his little Kitsune's mouth. He licked Naruto's bottom lip and and cheered in the inside when the mouth opened for him. He moaned into Naruto's mouth when he tasted him. His erected member was aching now painfully.

Naruto on the other hand let his arms circle around Itachi's neck and fisted his hands into Itachi's hair. Before Naruto knew what was happening he was shirtless and his pants had disappeared somewhere. He saw Itachi smirking down on him. He was catching his breath and swore in his mind Itachi was the devil in person when he saw this smirk. Itachi's smirked widened when he saw the flushed and panting Kitsune. He leaned again down and captured Naruto's lips. Naruto mewled when he felt a cool hand on his stomach. Damn that seal that made him so sensitive down there. Itachi attacked then Naruto's neck and licked his path to one of Naruto's nipple.

Naruto keened when he felt Itachi't hot mouth on his nipple. Naruto could already feel the heat in his body and it bothered him. He tried to take Itachi's clothes off but whined when a hand grasped his two hands and pinned them above his head. Itachi chuckled when he saw Naruto trying to ripped his clothes off but got a nosebleed in the next moment when he saw Naruto pouting. Who could hold it against him? Naruto was laying there in nothing but his boxers, laying under him, he was flushed in a nice red, sweat covered that made his skin shine and he was pouting with large innocent eyes.

_`Score!_´ was Naruto's only thought to this. His pout vanished when he was the next moment straddle by a very naked and very aroused Uchiha who was glaring at his boxers. Before he could say a thing his boxers were ripped off of him ad the cold air touched his weeping member and let him moan. Itachi kissed Naruto again and bit his bottom lip till blood was drawn. He licked Naruto's bleeding lip who had hissed when he was bitten. Itachi was getting impatient and began to suck on three of his fingers. He wanted to be in his little mate now. But he had to prepare him or it would hurt. It had been a long time since the last time they had sex.

Naruto whimpered when he felt a digit enter him and showed the laughing Kyuubi a naked picture of Jirayia. The fox shut immediately up and whimpered. He smirked but it vanished when he felt two fingers in him move around. But he soon bucked his hips on the fingers when they had hit this spot in him. Itachi let his third finger enter Naruto who tensed again but soon relaxed when the fingers hit the spot again. Naruto moaned loudly and bucked hips on the fingers. Itachi on the other hand was groaning when he saw Naruto like this.

When Itachi deemed Naruto ready he took his fingers out and holstered Naruto's legs on his shoulders. He positioned himself at Naruto's entrance and then pushed in dry. He was just too impatient to use lube. He just wanted to be in Naruto right now. The heat inside him was getting on him and lust clouded mind wasn't helping in this matter.

"Ahh ngn ah!"

Naruto whimpered at the pain and cursed Itachi for being so impatient on him. Sure they had to wait a long time for this. But a few minutes more to wait wouldn't killed him! He would make sure to make Itachi pay for this while they were alone. They did have promised to be back at the base when the baby was born and that was still a long time. But now was his time with Itachi. When he heard Itachi groan he got a wicked idea. Naruto leaned up to Itachi and bit his earlobe. Hard. He then licked his way to the mating mark and nibbled at Itachi's throat. When he heard a choked moan and felt Itachi shudder and Naruto grinned against the pale skin.

Before Naruto knew it Itachi began to move in and out of him. It damn hurt him. He hated the Kyuubi now for healing him everytime they had sex. It seemed like he was a virgin again. But it all turned soon into pleasure for him when Itachi hit that spot in him. Naruto didn't even know when he had wrapped his legs around Itachi's waist. But he didn't care. He let his legs tighten around Itachi's waist and was happy when Itachi hissed because of it.

"AHH Ngnn Yeeeeeeeees Itachi!" Naruto panted out.

Itachi growled lowly when he heard Naruto scream like that. He began to lick Naruto's neck and nibbled at it. When he heard Naruto moan again and demanded of him to go faster Itachi lost it. It had been a long damn time since they last had done it. The bed they were laying on was rocking against the wall. The sound was echoing of the walls and through the empty house. Naruto arched his back when Itachi began to lick from his neck to one was his nipples.

"Ahh ha ha... ngnn ahaha Itachi!"

Itachi smirked against the nipple and bit down. Naruto arched his back more. Kyuubi was cursing his container and whimpered when he heard Naruto's moan rose in pitch. When Itachi felt he was nearing his end he took Naruto's member in a strong grip. Naruto moaned loud and hissed at the contact. He bucking his hips to Itachi's rhythm while he trusted in and out of him. But when Itachi gripped his member he nearly came.

"Ahh! Ngn Itachi please harder!?"

"Of course my little Kitsune" purred Itachi into Naruto's ear.

Naruto arched his back more when Itachi pounded harder into him. He let his arms circle around Itachi's shoulder and hugged the older male closer to him. He let his head rest on Itachi's shoulder and began to suck in the skin there. When he heard the choke moan from Itachi Naruto bit into the skin. He was delighted when he heard this time a loud moan. Not one of them noticed how the door to the room opened and Sasuke came in. Well he was in the doorway with wide eyes and then fainted. Sasuke Uchiha seemed to have a heart attack. Naruto and Itachi didn't even notice any of this.

They were too deep in their own little world to care for this.

With Sasuke before he entered his house

Today was actually a good day for Sasuke. Nothing bad had happened. Sakura hadn't asked for any dates and the village was peaceful. That is- was till he entered his house. Sasuke was confused when he heard the sounds coming from his house. He knew that in the Uchiha compound lived no one but him. Not even some fang girls dared to enter without his permission. SO what was with the sounds? He gulped when he thought that maybe that it did were fan-girls. Even though he _knew_ that they would never enter the compound. He always did wonder _**HOW**_ they had gotten his boxers and other personal things. He shuddered at the thought.

When he opened the door to his house he could clearly hear the sound. It sounded like someone was in pain or dying. He gulped and made his way in the direction of the sounds. When he reached the room where the sounds were coming from he noticed that it was Itachi's room. What was going on here? He wanted to know why those sounds were coming from Itachi's room. He gulped again and felt the sweat trickle down his neck. He clenched and unclenched his fists and then moved his hand slowly to the door handle.

He slowly opened the door though he wouldn't scare or tell the intruder that he was here. It wouldn't help him in this matter when they got away. But when he had opened the door fully Sasuke got a heart attack. He had seen something that he had never wanted to see in his entire life. Itachi and Naruto were fucking each others brains out. Naruto was moaning loudly while Itachi was pounding in and out of him with speed that Sasuke had never seen. It gave him the rest when Itachi began to jerk Naruto off and they came then.

"Itachi!!"

"Naruto!"

That had done it and Sasuke got a heart attack. May the chicken butt rest in peace!?

KM: roftl!

Ray: _nosebleed_

Kai: …

Shizu: … no comment!

Naru: _blushes_

Ita: Write more!

KM: I thank diaryanjo for giving me this idea where the lemon could take place! Kukukuku...


	25. Chapter 25

KM: Special thanks to diaryanjo! I thank you for all the places you gave me to have some ItaNaru fun there!?! Kukukukukukuk...

Lee: YOSH KM DOES NOT OWN NARUTO!?! HOW UNYOUTHFUL!?! BUT SHE OWNS THIS YOUTHFUL STORY!?!?

_**Chapter 25**_

It was the next day after the 'accident' with Sasuke and his heart attack. Naruto and Itachi were still surprised by it. But Naruto could careless in this moment he was giddy right now. Why? Itachi had promised him a picnic at night! He couldn't wait for it to happen. He sighed loudly and tapped his foot. The only bad part was that Itachi made him wait for him. How long was it now? Two maybe three hours? He sighed again and made sure to make Itachi pay for this. He looked around where he was standing now. It was a little area where some flowers were growing but not more. Itachi had said to meet him here. But that was over three hours ago for God's sake!

He growled lowly and looked at his clothes. It was nothing fancy. A plain white shirt and black pants with his sandals he wasn't going anywhere fancy so why dress up? Naruto sighed again when there still no sign of Itachi. Frankly it was driving the Kyuubi crazy. He rather had a happy-go-lucky container than a depressed one. It was all giving him a headache. Naruto was about to sigh again when _finally_ Itachi showed up with basket in hand. It was quite funny to Naruto. After all it was not every day that THE Itachi Uchiha was carrying one either. Itachi was just wearing a red cotton shirt and blue pants with his sandals. Naruto was tapping his foot and showing Itachi how had **liked** to wait this long.

"Nice that you decided to finally show up too! What took you so damn long!?"

"I am sorry koi. But I had to... arrange some thing" was his responds.

Naruto just huffed and turned his head away from him pouting. Itachi chuckled at this and gripped Naruto's chin. Naruto's eye twitched when he noticed how Itachi turned his head back to him. He wanted to say something to the raven but was cut of when he was kissed. _`Damn you Itachi! You and your dirty playing! But two can play this game!_´ he got a wicked idea that made Kyuubi actually whimper and wonder why he was in such a crazy container. Well his container was more of a psycho but he did not want to think about it. When Itachi finally released him he took his hand and lead Naruto to a meadow.

The meadow was big. Flowers of all kind were there. Well maybe not all kind but it seemed like it in Naruto's opinion. Dragonflies were flying through the air or sitting on the flowers. Sakura trees were surrounding the meadow. A lake was far off to the side with a waterfall. The moon was giving the lake a silver glow. The fish in the lake were giving of a shimmer of a dark blue. The dragonflies flying over the lake shimmered in all colours they were in. The flowers were blooming and had a glow to them. The dragonflies wings who were sitting on the flowers were shining in all shades of blue.

Naruto was awed at the sight he saw. It was something he had never seen. Itachi next to him watched him with amusement clearly shown in his eyes. Naruto went over to the lake and watched the over sized mirror. The reflection of the moon in it. Even so it was watering it still looked amazing to him. Itachi made his way over to a sakura tree where he sprayed out a blanket and began to empty the basket. Itachi chuckled when he saw how Naruto tried to get a dragonfly and nearly fell into the lake. Naruto turned around when he heard Itachi chuckle and stuck his tongue out at him.

"You know Naru-chan I knew how you could use this tongue of yours in other ways" there vanished the tongue back into his mouth.

"HENTAI!?" he shouted at the hentai who laughed.

"Awww come here Naru-chan!" Naruto shook his head.

"Nu-uhu you are going to molest me then!"

"Well if you don't want to eat then I have more for myself"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!?!?!" Itachi had never seen Naruto run this fast in his entire life.

"Ehm Naruto?" Naruto glared at him.

"Don't even think about it!"

Itachi somehow got the feeling that Naruto knew about this little 'extra' in the food. He remembered what Shana told him about the the pill. The woman knew how to mix those things. After all her baba taught her in the arts of herbs and medicine. But when he saw that Naruto took away the pocky he had packed he sighed in relief. Here he thought that Naruto knew about it. But then he glared at the hand that held his precious pocky. He would get his revenge later on. But then Naruto played dirty. He put a pocky stick in his mouth and began to move in and out if his mouth. It reminded Itachi of the way Naruto would give him... _`NO Itachi don't go there! Bad brain! Very bad brain!_´

Naruto was meanwhile finished with the stick and moved on to the strawberries. He licked his lips and began to slowly eat it. He moaned lowly when he tasted the strawberry and grinned in the inside when he saw Itachi's expression. Itachi was looking on with already lust filled eyes. Damn what Naruto could do to him. But it was only a matter of time till the drug took its effects on him. He willed his perverted inner Itachi down and took a grape. It took all his will power to hold his inner self down with Naruto sucking on chocolate covered strawberries or grapes or other berries! He whimpered quietly to himself. Hopefully the damn drug would work and then he could fuck his little Naru-chan here!?

Naruto on the other hand was getting bothered. He began to feel warmer and felt how he got flushed. Damn what was wrong with him? He knew that it couldn't be the weather because the night was cool. Hell the night air was cooling him down. It was getting warmer with each passing second. He looked at Itachi and saw him not getting bother at all. The Uchiha was eating now pie and seemed perfectly fine. Naruto was getting more bothered now and panted form the heat. He tugged at his shirt and tried to take it off. Itachi seemed to notice and look at him.

"I am hot!" was the only thin he said and the shirt was off.

But it didn't help him in this case. The cool night air help a bit but not much. He was getting hotter and hotter and was panting loudly now. He skin was flushed and nothing seemed to help him. He whimpered lowly and was surprised when Itachi was over him the next moment. He looked up into the eyes of his mate. They were glazed over and darker. The lust was clearly shown and before Naruto knew it Itachi kissed him. Naruto mewled when he felt Itachi's cool hands on his torso. He felt better now but the heat was still so much. When Itachi broke the kiss he moved to Naruto's neck while his hands wandered around Naruto's whole body.

Naruto arched into the cool touch Itachi offered and couldn't get enough. Itachi licked the neck and made his way to one of Naruto's nipples. He could already fell the hard on from his little Kitsune. Naruto mewled again when he felt the cool hands on his back. The touches made him feel better and he wanted more of it. Itachi on the other hand had to get rid of his clothes and Naruto's. When Naruto arched again into his touch he took his pants and boxers of. Naruto didn't seem to notice it. But he did shivered when the cool night air his erected cock and moaned loudly. Itachi could feel that his pants were getting tighter and that they were in the way. He had to get rid of them. NOW.

Naruto didn't even notice how Itachi's touches stopped. He was far too lost in the cold pleasure the hands brought to him. But he did notice it when Itachi let something warm on his already hot skin. When he opened his eyes again to which he didn't remember to have closed them. He found chocolate on him and a very naked, a very aroused and smirking Itachi Uchiha above him. His lust clouded mind didn't help him when Itachi began to lick from his chest down to his stomach. He moaned loudly and arched his back when Itachi attacked one of his nipple. When the first one was clean he moved to the other bud.

"ngn ahh Itachi!" panted the kitsune out.

"Mhmm?"

Itachi bit down on the nipple before he continued on his way down south. Naruto had began to burrow his hands in the silken raven locks and was panting. His face was flushed, his eyes half lidded and lust filled. It clearly screamed to Itachi that his little uke wanted to be fucked right now. When he thought he had abused the bud enough he blew at it and began his path anew. He heard Naruto keen and chuckled while licking the chocolate off of Naruto. He licked the seal when he reached and was not disappointed when he heard Naruto moan. The moaning was getting louder when he dipped his tongue in Naruto's bellybutton. He smirked when he heard the loud moan and did it a few times again. Itachi didn't stop when there was no chocolate anymore.

Naruto let out a silent scream when Itachi took in his whole length and deep throated him. He nearly came when the heat surrounded him. But for the sake of his pride he held it in. When he heard Itachi chuckled around his cock the vibrations send pleasurable shivers up and down his body. Naruto wanted to buck into the heat but hands on his hips prevented him from doing so. Itachi began suck on his penis and then bobbed his head up and down. Naruto threw his head back and moaned loudly. An owl near them flew startled out of the tree into the somewhat silent night.

"Ngnn ahh Ita- haaha Itachi!" Naruto hissed out when Itachi grace the skin with his teeth.

"Mhmm?" the vibrations sent another wave of pleasure through him.

"Haha haa no nag fair!" he panted out.

Itachi only bobbed his head up and down faster and then stopped when he felt Naruto was near his peak. He heard Naruto whine in disappointment. When he felt a sharp tug on his hair he knew that Naruto was getting impatient with him. It also meant should he do this again he would jerk himself off and no sex anymore! But damn Itachi needed this right now. So began his duty again. When he heard Naruto moan again he smirked and speed up. He wanted to be in his little uke right now. Naruto could feel the knots in his stomach tighten and knew that he was near his end. He came with a loud shout.

"Ngnn Ah ITACHI!!"

Itachi swallowed Naruto's seed and let the go of Naruto's limp member. He smirked down at Naruto who was flushed, sweat covered and panting hard. He kissed Naruto hard and then held three fingers in front of Nartuo's mouth.

"Suck!"

Naruto took Itachi finger in his mouth and began to suck at each one. He saw how Itachi's lust full eyes starred at him and smirked around the digits. He stopped for a moment and could hear Itachi growl at him. He resumed his task and worked on each one. When he heard Itachi moan he worked on all three again till they were taken from his mouth with a loud 'pop'. Itachi let his eyes travel down Naruto's body and felt smug. It was only him who could see Naruto like this. He began to insert one finger into Naruto while he kissed him to distract him. When one finger went into Naruto he could feel Naruto stiffen under him. When the second finger entered Naruto bit on Itachi's lip.

"Now that was not nice Naru-chan!" Naruo snorted to that.

"Says the guy with two fingers in me!"

Itachi was silent after this. Naruto did had a point in this. He sighed and began to scissor the tight channel. He add soon a third finger and began to move them in and out. When Naruto moaned loudly, arched his back and began to buck onto his fingers he smirked. He stroked Naruto's erected member. He withdrew his fingers from Naruto and search for the lube in the basket. When he found it he opened and coated his member with the cold substance. He hissed at the cold and felt his painfully hard member twitch. He positioned himself at Naruto's entrance and pushed in without a warning. Naruto didn't seem to notice his mind was clouded with pleasure and lust.

"Damn! Naruto you're so tight!"

"Well ahah that comes ngan aha ha ha with being a Jinchuriki! Ahh ngna ha ha" Naruto panted out when Itachi moved.

Naruto wrapped his legs around Itachi's waist which made Itachi go deeper and Naruto moan loud when he hit that little spot in him. Itachi grunted when he slammed into Naruto and kissed him. Naruto moaned into the kiss and threw his head back Itachi hit the spot again with much more force.

"Please Itachi ahh nya aha fas- ha faster!!"

"With pleasure my little Kitsune!" he purred into Naruto's ear and nibbled at it.

He peeked his speed up and was delighted to hear Naruto moan louder. He moved then to Naruto's neck and sucked there. He felt Naruto arch in his touch bit down. Naruto could feel the heat getting more and more in him. He could feel that he was reaching his peak. Itachi sensing Naruto was near his peak peeked up his space and began to bump Naruto's forgotten member.

"Ahh yes Itachi!"

"Come for me little Naru-chan!" he whispered huskily in Naruto's ear.

"AH ngay ITACHI!?"

Naruto came all over his stomach and Itachi's. Itachi was grunting when he came into Naruto who clenched him painfully. He grunted Naruto's name out. He nearly fell onto Naruto but caught himself and used his elbows for support. Nartuo was laying under him with a flushed and sweaty body. Itachi pulled out of Naruto laid beside him. He drew Naruto to his body and licked his neck. He chuckled when Naruto shivered and wrapped his arms around him. Naruto snuggled closer to Itachi and sighed in contentment. It felt so nice in Itachi's arms. But he had to wonder why the warms inside him wasn't bothering him anymore and why he still was so horny.

"Itachi...?"

"Hn?"

"What did you put into the food? I know you did som- adhnabfk!" He was cut of by a kiss and a hand stroking him.

This was going to be a long night.

"Ahh Itachi!"

Yes, a very long night indeed!

KM: Finished!  
Ray&Shizu: _major nosebleed_

Ita: _passed out on floor_

Naru: Erhm R&R!?


	26. Chapter 26

KM: YO!?

Shizu: Hi! This chap is decided to Ray and Kai!

Naru: Ehrm why?

KM: _gets emo_ 'Cause they are now one with me since today!  
Naru: Ohh

Shizu: But fear not! After I leave KM will get the one she should have since the beginning!  
KM: I do?

Naru: Well anyways KM doesn't Naruto but she owns this story!

_**Chapter 26**_

Naruto and Itachi were at an onsen right now. It would be their last alone time together before they had to go back. Shana was due to anytime now. But they enjoyed the last four months together. Itachi had fucked him everywhere they went. It was still a wonder to Naruto that he could still stand. Even so it shouldn't be possible for him. Naruto sighed when he let himself sink deeper in the warm and soothing water of the onsen. It soothed his sore muscles and he could fall asleep here. He would if it were not for Itachi sitting opposite from him and leering down at him. He twitched at that. He could understand Itachi at some point but that was getting annoying now.

"Stop that Itachi!"

"Hn!" Naruto just ignored Itachi.

Maybe the older male would leave him alone then? Fat chance! That was so gonna happen like Kisame saying that his mother did screw a gold fish. He snorted at that thought. As if that would ever happen. He sighed in annoyance when Itachi began to molest him. Okay he had to admit it did felt good. Well kinda. But he was getting of task here! Why did Itachi have to molest him everywhere they went? I wasn't save from him since they had left the base thing-y. He moaned loudly when Itachi sucked at his neck and this one spot there. Damn it! Now the older male will not stop till it had ended with sex.

"No haha Itachi!" he hissed the last part out.

"What Naru-chan?" Itachi asked him innocently. Naruto snorted when Itachi was innocent then he hadn't the fox sealed inside him.

"Itachi! Please stop it! Someone could see us! Ahh" he moaned out. `_I hate you!_´

"But Naru-chan! You seem to like it!" he purred into Naruto's ear and then bit it.

Naruto mewled and cursed his body for responding to it... again! It was always like this. Itachi would get him to mewl and then they would have sex. Hot and steamy sex mind you. But that was not important now. What important was the fact that Itachi couldn't keep his hands to himself. Not even for a second since they went onto this trip. The picnic, the closet in one of their motels, in a tree and everywhere else you can think of.

"Damn Ita-anyga Itachi!" he panted out.

"What my dear Naru-chan?" he purred into his ear before sucking on one of his nipples.

"Mhmm ahaha!" Naruto couldn't speak.

Itachi was just so good at it. Damn the bastard for knowing of how to pleasure though he can't talk anymore. But damn it felt so good and he didn't care anymore when Itachi began to pump him. He could feel Itachi's hard on against his tight and moaned louder when he was bitten on his nipple. He gasped when Itachi entered him without any preparation at all. He glared at him and swore to avenge his butt later on when they were finished. Itachi just smirked at him and began to move. Hitting that spot inside him dead on. Naruto arched his back and moaned loudly.

"AH haha nya Itachi _please_!"

"Please what koi?" he whispered huskily into his ear.

"Ahhr Itachi! More please!" he said while panting harshly.

Tears were running down Naruto's whiskered checks. The pleasure was so much for him he cried. Itachi licked the tears away and began to move faster. What his kitsune wanted his kitsune got. After all he didn't want to be a bad mate to him. When he was pounding into Naruto he began to jerk Naruto off. After all he had more fantasies that had to be done. It was only good that he made sure no one could come in.

"Nya haah ugn ITACHI!" Naruto came into the water and panted hard.

"Naruto!" Itachi grunted out.

They both laid there panting harshly before Itachi had enough strength to pull out. Naruto moaned in disappointment. He heard Itachi chuckle and glared at him . It was then that he was lifted out of the onsen and dried of. He sighed content when he felt how Itachi pressed him to his chest. He heard Itachi's heartbeat that was soothing to him. In a matter of minutes he was fast asleep. Itachi chuckled and carried Naruto to their room. After all Naruto would need all his strength later on.

When Nartuo woke up late it was already night and Itachi was laying next to him and staring at him. He twitched at that. _`Stalker!_´ but Itachi was his mate. So it couldn't really be called stalking now could it? Naruto sighed and snuggled back into the bed. But he was stopped when Itachi grabbed and Shunshin-ed them away. Naruto was still naked though. He was cursing Itachi for not waiting and let him dress. Damn that Uchiha!

"Itachi I am gonna kill you!"

He heard only his mate's chuckle and found himself up high in a tree. Naked. He blinked a few times. Till it sank in. He was sitting high up in a tree and was naked. He had no way of going down due to his and Itachi's earlier activities. Damn you Uchiha! Now how to get back down? I got an idea and smirked. Well when he can't get down then he needed someone that could get him now. Naruto looked around and when he saw that Itachi was standing below him he smirked. That would be his revenge for his poor butt! Naruto sucked on three fingers and let his other hand travel from his neck to one of his nipples. He pinched and twisted the bud and moaned lowly.

He continued to suck in his three fingers while his other hand travelled lower and caressed his skin. He moaned again and let his draw circles above his penis. It was slowly getting erected. He moaned around his fingers when his hands squeezed his member and getting harder. Naruto slowly pump his erection and felt the pre-cum oozing out. He smeared over his member and moaned louder when he went faster. He took his fingers out with a loud pop. He panted harshly and moved them slowly to his ass. He insert one finger and hissed a bit. Then added a second one.

Naruto began to slowly move them in and out and bucked his hips onto his fingers. Saliva was slowly travelling down his chin. He moved his fingers faster and moaned loudly when they hit that spot in him. His other hand didn't stop. He let it move faster ans squeezed his member hard. He could feel it already. He knew that he was near his end. Just a bit more. He added the third finger and moaned so loud he thought that Konoha would hear him.

"Nhan Ahh ITACHI!" Naruto cried out when he came.

But Naruto didn't stopped. He looked with half lidded eyes down to Itachi licked his cum form his hands. He sucked on each of his fingers and moved his fingers again inside him. It just felt soo good to stop. He needed it now.

"Ahhah nay ! Ahhd Itachi!" he whispered out.

He moved his hand again and began to pump his half hardened member again. He moaned loudly now and leaned his back against the tree trunk. Oh it felt so good.

"Arghh haha! Oh yes! Itachi!"

Meanwhile Itachi was down and could only watched as his little mate jerked himself off and cried out his name. It was a delicious sight to see for him. But after Naruto came the first time he broke. He needed his mate now. But he was glued to the spot at the sight. How Naruto did it was an art in itself. But when Naruto came the third time he broke. He was directly in front of Nartuo , took his fingers out and rammed into him was a snarl. Naruto moaned loudly and arched his back. It felt so good to be filled by his mate.

"Arh nyaga! More Itachi please!" he panted out.

"Of course koi!" He purred out and slammed into Naruto without any mercy.

"Argh Oh yes!"

Itachi continued to pound into while Naruto's back was hammered against the bark of the tree. Naruto arched his back and jerked himself off. It was worth it. He moaned again when Itachi bit into his neck. Naruto threw his head back and idly wondered why it didn't hit the trunk but the thought vanished when Itachi pounded faster and harder into him.

"Oh god YES ITACHI!?! More please! I need you!"

"... Na-Ru-To..." he grunted out.

Naruto kissed Itachi while he began to jerk himself of and bit the ravens lip. He moaned when he tasted the blood in his mouth. It brought him nearer his peak. Itachi licked his way from Naruto's neck to his lips. He kissed him and bruised them bloody by doing so. But damn he was horny after he had seen the show Naruto gave him. He groaned at the thought and went faster than before. He had a little Uke to fuck and make sure he can't walk for a month straight!

"OH YES ITACHI!" Naruto came with a loud cry of his beloved.

"NARUTO!?" grunted Itachi out when he came into Naruto who milked him dry.

Itachi began to lick the cum off of Naruto's skin while still being in him. He kissed Naruto and moaned into the his little mate's mouth. Naruto eagerly responds to the kiss.

KM: Oh YES HOT TREE SEX!?

Shizu: Please R&R after this comes the last chap!  
Ita: But fear not KM shall make a one-shot series about ItaNaru lemons!

Naru: _faints_

KM: _sweat drops_ I think I broke him! Oh well I hope you enjoyed it!


	27. Chapter 27

KM: The story is at it's end. This will be the last chapter and the horror for Madara!? Mwhahahahahaahah

Naru: I have a bad feeling about this. Why do I have a bad feeling about this?

others: You are not alone

KM: Well I do NOT own Naruto but I own this story and my OCs. Enjoy the last chapter!

_**Chapter 27**_

_Time skip four month_ Hospital

Madara was sitting with the others in the waiting room of the hospital. Shana had gone into labour. Yesterday and they still haven't heard any news about her. Everyone was ready to bit each others head off when they don't get to hear in the next few minutes form her. Well they did got to hear from her. Her death treats to Madara was something they all paled at.

"**ARGH MADARA WHEN I GET MY FUCKING HANDS ON- ARGH YOU I AM GONNA FUCKING- ARGH CASTRATE YOU-ARGH!?**"

"PLEASE DON'T PUSH!"

"**I PUSH WHEN I FUCKING WANT TO BITCH!? DID YA HEAR ME MADARA!?**"

It was silent again and Madara wondered if it were wise to run for his life now? Maybe he were better of running for his life but well it is his life . But Konan had assured him that this was completely normal to hear from a woman going into labour. He still didn't believe her and thinks that Shana had told Konan to tell him this. Though he wouldn't later run for his life. Every male in the room gave him a sympathetic look. Each one of them knew how he must feel right now. That was only from the others male with pregnant a woman. His friends just looked wide eyed at the door where they could hear Shana.

"**ARGH DAMN IT!? THIS FUCKING HURTS!? MADARA I WILL MAKE SURE YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO TOUCH ME EVER AGAIN ASSHOLE?!**"

Did he mention he feared for his life and his manhood? He certainly did. Again hours went by and more death treats were spoken... well yelled at him. Madara looked like a wreck and finally fell asleep. It was damn time too he did. He hadn't gotten any sleep till he came here with Shana. Naruto and the others had fallen asleep a lone time ago. It was too much for them.

Again hours later finally the midwife came out and woke Madara up. Madara woke with a start and looked like he was run over by truck.

"Uchiha-san? You may go in now." she said softly to him with a smile.

Madara nodded and followed her. He was still dazed with sleep. The midwife brought him to Shana's room where she rested. She opened the door for him and left when he entered. Shana was the only one in the room. She was laying in her bed sweat coated. Her hair was plastered at her forehead. It was then that he saw a little crib standing next to her bed. In it was a little boy. He was asleep in this moment and had dark hair. It was not brown like his mothers. So it seemed that he had gotten his bloodline.

He took a seat next to Shana and took her hand into this it was then that Shana woke up and moaned in pain.

"Madara?" she asked him in a soft voice.

"Mhmm?"

"I am going to castrate you!" she said serious to him. "But I was pregnant with your son. I will not castrate until he asked what sex is. I will then explain it to him with you as test object!"

Madara paled and now knew what he had forgotten. He didn't say anything. He feared she would do much wors than this if he said anything right now.

Waiting room

Naruto was together with Itachi. Both had heard the death treats from Shana when she gave brith and have just woken up. Itachi was happy Naruto wasn't a woman than maybe he had to hear those treats too. He looked at his mate and kissed him. They hadn't have the time to be alone in the last few month. So the sex was put on hold. The only chance they had while they were on missions. But with the new member to their family now here. It would become lesser. Itachi already knew this.

Naruto looked confused at his mate but knew what was going through his mind. He kept quiet about it. Besides they would soon have time for themselves. Shana had promised this to him. Only he and Itachi wouldn't have to help with the baby. The others were an other story in this matter. He giggled when he thought about this.

Itachi rose an eyebrow when he heard Naruto giggle and wanted to know what is damn funny. But before he could ask Naruto kissed him again. The Uchiha totally forgot his question and responds to the kiss.

Shana's room

Though he kept quiet it was a wise choice. Naruto and the others came an hour later in. Konan was immediately at the crib and looked at Madara and Shana's baby. It was soo cute to her.

"So have you told him yet Konan? And could please give me Hoshi?" she asked her friend.

"Sure and no, not yet!" was the last part whispered.

"Come on! He won't kill you!" she said while laughing.

Shana concentrate on her son while Madara was sitting with her in bed now. He looked at his son with a pride only a father would have. She chuckled and stroke her sons hair. It was so soft. Naruto was at her side and watched them. He never had seen something like this. How a family would act without sneering at him when they have a moment.

"You know? We have to teach him our ways right?" he asked her.

The others paled at this and began to sweat. This was not good. Shana and Naruto were already bad. But when they got him in this too. Who knows what they would cause for chaos then? No they shouldn't be thinking about this right now. It should be a happy moment now.

Konan finally had gathered all her courage and dragged Pein into an other room. Pein starred at her and raised an eyebrow. He wanted to know what was wrong with her that she had to drag him in here.

"Well...?"

"Well what?" she asked him innocently.

"Why have you dragged me here? And what was Shana talking about?" he said with sigh.

Konan bit her lip and then rushed out. "Iampregnant!"

Pein blinked once, twice and trice "WHHHAAAAAT!?!"

Shana's room

Shana chuckled while rocking Hoshi. Madara and the others starred at her. What was so damn funny. Besides wasn't that Pein that had screamed just a few minutes ago. It sounded like he was going to die.

"What is so funny?"

Shana didn't answer and just shook her head. It was not her place to tell them the news. No it was Konan's. She just concentrate on her little star for the rest of the day. Well ehm night. Well she was three days in labour.(1)

_Time skip five years later_ Akatsuki base thing-y

The base was in chaos and all thanks to Hoschi, Naruto and Shana. It was Hoshi's birthday and Shana had promised him to play pranks with him the whole day. Hoshi was happy about this but the others members weren't so happy about it. Especially Kakuzu and Kisame. They had to suffer the most under them.

Konan had given birth to a baby girl that went by the name of Ichigo. She was a split image of her father but had the personality for her mother. Ichigo was going to be four soon. She was even a great trouble make just like her uncle Naruto and her aunt Shana.

Hoshi was Madara's twin you could say. He was just like his father. But when around his mother. He was just like every other five year old. He was soon going to be a big brother. Madara had again to suffer but it was worth it. Hoshi had one time asked where babies come from and his uncle Hidan was nearly castrated because he had thought it would be funny to tell him. The boy was only four back then. It was in fact only a few days ago when he had asked that.

Pein just looked on at the chaos around him. How the hell was it that he had agreed to let Naruto join them. Maybe if he had said no none of this would have happened. Lately Tsuande had come over more often. She too was pregnant and had gotten a baby girl like Konan. Her daughter looked like Orochimaru. It was just female version with her temper. Today was one of these days. Madara, he and Orochimaru had made it for themselves clear to have a men day when Tsunade came over. Their wives could have some fun while they went to drink.

The last time he asked himself if it was wise to let Naruto join them he didn't had an answer but now he had. `_**OHH HELL NO IT WASN'T!?!**_´

Somewhere in the far distance Itachi was planning to not let Naruto ever leave his bed again.

KM: That was fun to write. I want to thank everyone who read this story, reviewed, put it on story alert and made my story one of their favourites! I had my fun writing it!

Konan: Please we know the end is not original...

Shizu: ... but it is better than nothing

Kabu: Besides Naruto and Itachi had fled when KM wrote this chapter. I think they are still fucking each other in the closet though.

Kyuu: Means that this is the reason why they are not that often in this chapter! Or are only mention one time.  
Mada: That is why we are sorry about it

Pein: But please don't be mad at us for this!  
KM: PLEASE R&R!?!?!

(1) My mother actually was nearly three days with me in labour. She meant that it was like hell for her and my father ate her food then. Oh well but pay respect to women. We are the ones that are going to bear the children and that is not an easy task! So pay respect to every mother who went through this. That is quite the feat when they don't do it with a c-section!


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